Tom Brady’s PED Scandal, Scene 2: Manning, Matthews, and Terrorist News

It’s been over a month and half since the Boston Magazine story highlighting the relationship between Tom Brady and Dr Alex Guerrero. As was discussed here, the story was really less than news, as it was more of a compilation of facts that had been long known (or, at least, publicly available) but likely inadmissible in a public court. Or, I mean, this is my guess. I don’t know. Fuck anyone with more than a semester of law school under his/her belt ([DFO] company and Lionel Hutz excluded).

Excluded

Since the story was released, in true Fourth Estate fashion, the NFL’s partners shrugged off the obvious correlation of Brady/Guerrero = Bonds/Conte = Rodriguez/Bosch under the Love Child Rule, which prevents the media1 from investigating any party that can influence their #access, #brand, or #marketing. Which is why the best news now comes from dissociated sources such as Yahoo Sports (Reggie Bush/USC Gifts; Junker/Fiesta Bowl; 2011 Miami Hurricanes Scandal), TMZ (Ray Rice Video Release), the National Inquirer (Edwards Love Child; Bennifer Wedding/Divorce), and now, the propaganda arm of the Qatar government, Al Jazeera. I say this kind of tongue-in-cheek but, seriously, when was the last time the an NFL partner network broke anything seriously anti-The Shield? They’ve even got sway over boutique websites!

Aside from the multitude of articles on Brady being friends with The Donald, on 12/20/15, the Boston Globe returned to the Guerrero saga, not from the PED angle, but from TB12/P*triots partnership angle. After all, the FBI got Al Capone on tax evasion, not everything else. It’s a dry read but the highlights are:

  • Guerrero is still shady. Bureaucratic administrative concerns and advertising language aside, Guerrero still marketed a product that he he clearly claimed would cure AIDS as well as admitting to false claims that he sold a previous company to Richard Branson for $500 million. This man is Tom Brady’s closest associate.
  • Guerrero is as much in with the P*tri*ts as he is with Brady; having received a Super Bowl ring from Robert Kraft while maintaining sideline credentials to home and away games. Amazingly, with all the lulls in every football game, no network has spent 90 seconds with a camera on Guerrero, discussing his role with the P**ri*ts (see above regarding the Love Child Rule).
  • Bill Belichick has, apparently, lost his control over the locker room. When questioned about the complaints from the team medical staff regarding Guerrero, the Grumble Lord responded, “Tom wants him. What am I supposed to do?” I dunno, Bill, maybe DO YOUR JOB.
  • The item that will keep this story alive through the offseason, however, is questions regarding whether or not having the team support the business venture partially-owned by Brady is a violation of the NFL salary cap. Naturally, the league is aware of these concerns and has opted to do absolutely nothing regarding them, to date, surely just hoping that the story goes away.

Now, aside from a passing note where the NFL would surely not find Bob Kraft and the P**r**ts guilty of violating the salary cap just because their arrangement violates the spirit of the salary cap, this story probably would die in the offseason. But thanks to Al Jazeera’s new documentary, The Dark Side: The Secret World of Sports Doping, which accuses Peyton Manning and Clay Matthews of illegally taking human growth hormone. Manning is a Hall of Fame quarterback who has dealt with significant injury issues in the past five years. Clay Matthews is a dude whose team got jack stomped last night after he pulled this little stunt ON ANOTHER WHITE PLAYER.

If Cam were a DE…

Maybe Scotchnaut will do a I Watched It… on this documentary because I’m sure as hell not going to check it out. Not because Al Jazeera isn’t a fine journalistic institution or anything, but because I already hate sports and know everyone is cheating. It is all documented on YourTeamCheats.com, NO ONE DENIES THIS!

That said, Manning has come out on fire and is declaring his innocence. Something that is actually a far cry from what the normal response to such allegations — you know, like Brady, who thinks such accusations against him are just laughable because, come on, he does it the right way. The  P**r**t* Way!

Are the accusations leveled against Manning true? I don’t know. Off the top of my head, I’d say they could have come from a more patriotic broadcaster. Or been less dependent on a source that didn’t recant his statements already (not that this necessary means anything because he may have already been paid off). I’m not giving Peyton the “but he’s always been such a nice guy” pass either. So I’d level the chances that the allegations are true at about 50% and that he did illegal shit beyond what is accused in the documentary at 75%.

Or, at least, that’s how I felt before I read that Brady was backing Peyton Manning. And, though I don’t recall during what period Manning played for the ***r**t*, if he’s got Brady’s support, then he sure doesn’t have mine. All hail the Brock Osweiler Era of Clean The Right Way (Plus Von Miller) Football and Pizza Advertising! Also, here is my favorite comment from the Al Jazeera documentary page:

Untitled
Oh, and if you are looking for a ***r**** fan response to these accusations, here you go. For those of you who choose not to click, the short version: “WHOOO FAHKIN’ CARES?! WHY IS THIS EVEN FAHKIN’ NEWS?!”


1: The sports media isn’t real media, in that, they aren’t important. But since they want to prop themselves up as deserving of the same umbrella protections as the conventional term of ‘Press’, then they would fall under the same expectations. That’s right: Terry Bradshaw = Walter Cronkite.   

 

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blaxabbath
I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
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[…] DeShone Kizer will end up getting a chance to shine in some game — and he will not. The Clay “Juice Me Up, Maude!” Matthews defense will have the opportunity to hold and be the reason they win a game — and the defense […]

nomonkeyfun

Just remember Lance Armstrong categorically denied every single accusation for years, and he threatened lawsuits and at least once sued for libel (in the UK). Plus he was tested way more often than any football player.

Duchess

More evidence Clay Matthews is a shitty person?

Yup his verified Twitter account is openly endorsing gambling. atleast a few states view it as that?

Old School Zero

The thing I love about the Manning thing is that he comes out all angry and “this is bullshit!” while at the same time decrying the violation of medical privacy for his wife. So, per Manning, none of it is true but (implied) his wife did receive HGH. All he’d have to do is say that his wife suffers from (disease that gets treated by HGH) and this story would be over and anyone claiming Peyton took anything would look like an asshole. But that didn’t happen, and instead we have it’s-all-false-except-for-that-part-that-isn’t cognitive dissonance ploy.

Oh, and the full weight of the NFL PR machine behind him.

Duchess

Well IVF is still rather taboo. and HGH is often prescribed for this procedure.

Sill Bimmons

Gotta say that Fetushead and his wife do have a right to privacy here.

They are under no obligation to disclose any part of her confidential medical history.

If the medication in question was legally obtained under a prescription in his wife’s name, which is a matter of public record, there is nowhere for this story to go.

If it wasn’t, they have a problem.

Old School Zero

Precisely. Even if he didn’t disclose the reason, coming out calmly and saying that, yes, she got HGH, but for a medically-necessary need, that would be so much more convincing and create a non-story than an angry, blustery denial and lawsuit threats.

Old School Zero

Though it is kind of an amusing Catch-22 scenario–if he wants to litigate for medical confidentiality violations, it’s sort of an admission of the facts, and may (note: not a lawyer of any kind) lead to further discovery which may result in leaks to the press. Sort of similar with any libel/slander discovery process (again: not a lawyer), since the only thing the report alleges that his wife got the shipments, not that he ended up using it (that’s just implication, which I have no idea if it can factor in legally).

Sill Bimmons

All prescriptions are public record.

A prescription is a state document written by a state-licensed physician and filled in a state-licensed pharmacy.

These records are available through FISA requests, so they are accessible to the public if you can demonstrate a specific need for the information.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

*FOIA, not FISA

Sill Bimmons

Thanks!

Petitioning the FISA court for access to prescription records would probably work too.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
jjfozz

Tom Brady was recently found outside a burning house. The world class QB was holding a box of matches, a half empty can of gas, and had a vintage WW2 flamethrower attached to his back.

When asked if he knew anything about the raging fire behind him, Brady only smiled and said, “I was across the street, barbecuing hotdogs, hamburgers, and s’mores for underprivileged children.”

While this reporter saw no barbecue or grilled foods, or kids for that matter, Brady was given several awards on the spot by team owner Robert Kraft. He was later allowed to drive the back end of the hook and ladder. Which he did flawlessly.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

His golf buddy Mr. Trump will back him up.

Duchess

Btw I do want to say… Fuck Clay Matthews. Don’t get me wrong I can understand not helping him up at all. I am fine with athletes being dicks about losing, but that is just being a shitty asshole.

jjfozz

I am showing this clip to my sons and telling them that if I ever see them doing anything this shitty – on or off the field – I will castrate them with the lid from a can of tuna fish.

jjfozz

Had to mention those yellow pants, DIDN’T YOU?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Jay Cutler has inquired as to what your plans are for the remaining can of tuna.

Duchess

Here is another interesting article

http://www.bostonmagazine.com/news/blog/2015/12/19/tb12-investigated/

Guerrero is not licensed in Massachusetts as a massage therapist or an athletic trainer. Moreover, TB12 is not a licensed medical facility, physical therapy facility, or massage therapy facility, according to state records.

They call themselves a “sports therapy center” so they don’t have to get any certifications or be regulated by the sports training authorities.

TB12 is Bullshit

Duchess

Right they are no different than the “supplement” companies that sold generic meth as a weight loss pill.

Sill Bimmons

I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE WITH THE ASTERISKS AND THE PATRIOTS

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
ballsofsteelandfury

This is all the evidence you need to convict: Guerrero does not speak Spanish.

Never trust anyone with a Spanish surname that doesn’t speak Spanish.

Don T

Give them The Chair if also they mispronounce their own last name. “It’s not Low Pez; it’s La Peh ss”.

ballsofsteelandfury

You don’t know how much that pisses me off.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I just play it safe and refuse to trust all Mexicans. Mexicans are Spanish, right?

ballsofsteelandfury

Only the white ones. Maybe.

Nah, you’re right. Don’t trust any of them.

montythisseemsstrangetome

“You know who else you can’t trust…?”

-Bill Parcells

Don T

Especially when they say “My name is actually Eye Talian”. Yeah, the Napoli Gonzalezes.

Sill Bimmons

Good thing I’ve got this insanely English last name.

You can trust me!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

My mom can’t work a phone after I was already up for hours and shoveled 8 inches of snow (3 not working calls within 3 min). In her defense I did it in sandals so I am probably the asshole in this. In my defense, my pups loves snow and I let him out 4 times this morning to play in the snow.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Sandals and a cig in a foot of snow. I am going back out.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

7 minutes. I brushed my teeth and went out for another cig. How is there an inch more snow?

Bloody Lethal

I can’t tell if you’re referring to your pups as in canines or as in your bare feet…

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Really old dog. Who calls bare feet pups?

Horatio Cornblower

Put some shoes on ya dummy.

Duchess

I think the real angle is that TB12 doesn’t even really exist

http://tb12sports.com/

It’s like a fake website for a pump and dump penny stock scheme. Oh you can buy a hat for $30 or a shirt for 25 or spend 125 for rubber bands.

The facebook is full of fake 5* ratings. There official twitter has only been up for a month or so to sell hats yet this thing has been open for years. The Instagram account has the old website listed… and 6 posts mostly about hats.

Yup this seems legit.

Sill Bimmons

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montythisseemsstrangetome

I dispute that Lionel Hutz has a full semester of law school under his belt.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

He watched a half-hour of “Single Female Lawyer” in a bar last night. The sound was off, but he thinks he got the gist of it. That’s *practically* a semester right there!

montythisseemsstrangetome

On a related note, I have enjoyed “The Grinder” so far. I don’t know if the premise can support multiple seasons, but I’ve enjoyed the first few episodes.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Fred Savage plays a good straight man.

Old School Zero

So does Aaron Rodgers.

Bloody Lethal

Ladies and gentlemen, our course is clear. The time has come to knuckle under. To get down on all fours and really lick boot. Give our alien masters whatever they want…

We want the one they call McNeal!

Don T

The salary cap violation angle is interesting, but seems like a stretch. Page 90 paragraph 4b of the CBA excludes from Salary income from nonplaying services provided by the player or a business concern (“Player Affiliate”, p. 2), as long as those services are within its market value. And it is never a good sign when “experts” can only come up with “may violate the spirit if not the letter” argument. I give that storyline a Capri pants rating on the Leg Index (highest rating: G-String).
https://nfllabor.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/collective-bargaining-agreement-2011-2020.pdf

Don T

That is Julio Voltio man! The only reggaetón rapper able and willing to rhyme “fuck” with “Richards Wild Irish Rose”. (In Spanish.)
He retired and has been a pastor for years.
/Shaking fist at God

Sill Bimmons

WHERE ARE MY DICK JOKES

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You want a Dick home, just look inside your pants.

No, seriously, your wife write out the “Nantucket” limerick on the waistband of your underwear.

After I had SEX with her. Boom roasted!