Tag: DFO

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 40)

Beastmode Ate My Baby -
23

The scene: Space! The final frontier! This is the voyage of the unnamed rocket that is currently propelling Professor Po past the stratosphere. But what of our intrepid DFOers, last seen valiantly clinging to the rocket as it sped towards space? Welp, they fell off. Yup! Sorry about that. Burned

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 39)

Beastmode Ate My Baby -
37

The scene: Inside Professor Po's secret base, where the DFOers are scrambling madly down the hallway as the entire facility rumbles ominously. Doktor Zymm: Hurry! If zis is vat I zink it ist... Yeah Right: What do you think it is? Doktor Zymm: I believe Perzy is launching a mizzile, or perhaps a

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 38)

Beastmode Ate My Baby -
42

The scene: A dorm at Miskatonic University, many years ago. A young Percival Po, in a white suit and black, open-collar shirt, a bouquet of flowers in his hand, timidly knocks on a dorm room door. Zymm's Roommate (opening the door): Yeah? Whaddaya want? Young Po (nervous): I'm, ah...supposed to pick up

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 36)

Beastmode Ate My Baby -
24

The scene: A beach on the Jungle Island of Professor Po. Doktor Zymm's yuuuuge RV drives up onto the sand out of the ocean. [DOOR FLIES OPEN] Doktor Zymm (stepping out of the RV): Vell, zis vas a bit of zerendipity. Otto's Brain (bouncing down the steps after Zymm): Sure was! Finding

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 35)

Beastmode Ate My Baby -
71

The scene: An island jungle. Covalent Blonde is running through the foliage, carrying Yeah Right piggyback, with King Hippo lumbering behind. King Hippo: Keep running, you guys! They're gettin' closer! Covalent Blonde: We could be going faster, if I didn't have to carry Wounded Knee here. Yeah Right: I

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 34)

Beastmode Ate My Baby -
26

The scene: Under the Pacific, where Doktor Zymm's yuuuge RV rolls across the ocean floor. Inside, the DFOers are as yet unaware of their underwater journey, as they descend the stairs from the RV's upper level. Doktor Zymm: I must zay...a mazzage ist just vat I needed. I did

Please Drive Your Car Off a Bridge

jjfozz -
43

  Every damn day I drive to work. The round trip takes about two hours. And every minute of those hours I am filled with loathing. The kind reserved for obese people at Chinese buffets and child molesters. People cannot fucking drive. They think they can. They cannot. Because 99.5% of the

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 33)

Beastmode Ate My Baby -
18

The scene: Key West, Florida. Tourists and passers-by line the street, walking along casually. It's just another quiet afternoon...until the pedestrians begin screaming and scatter in all directions. Seconds later a bright green Prius that has definitely seen better days comes tearing through the intersection, barely missing a vegan hot

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 31)

Beastmode Ate My Baby -
58

The scene: Inside the green Prius, where Wolfman Rob is driving like a madman with Ballsofsteelandfury and Low Commander of the Super Soldiers in the backseat, hanging on for dear life. Mabel is of course riding shotgun. Wolfman Rob: ARROOOOOO!!! Damn, boys, you'd better be glad I got you out

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 30)

Beastmode Ate My Baby -
39

The scene: The In-N-Out convenience store near the DFO clubhouse. Ballsofsteelandfury is there with Low Commander of the Super Soldiers, who is now wearing a vest with a prospect patch over his silver jumpsuit. Ballsofsteelandfury is loading Low Commander of the Super Soldiers up with a massive amount of junk