Half-Schedule Weekend – Lesser Footy Open Thread

King Hippo - April 16, 2022April 15, 2022

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This is the part of the Lesser schedule when the cup ties start flying fast and furious, and with MOAR at stake. You saw a truly heroic effort by rockingdog's Chelski squadron mid-week, but the Real Cuntfaces got off the mat and advanced. Kings of Shithousery Atleti (meant mostly as

Welcome BACK To Hippo’s Nightmare Live Blogging

King Hippo - April 9, 2022April 9, 2022

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Please to keep your hands inside the car at all times. You don't want to acquire the nickname "Stumpy." As during mid-week's torture session, I will add my instant reactions as the match progresses (with time stamps) in the body of the post. I used to regularly live blog NC State

Saturday Early Lesser Footy y Hoopsball

King Hippo - March 19, 2022March 18, 2022

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There is only one Prem fixture this morning, Arsenal/Villa (8:30, USA). The King's Afrikan Water Pistols are playfully spraying their way into next season's Shempions League, but as they say in Footy Manager speak "there can be no letup." Villa are a pesky lot, so this might be worth a

Spring Sort of Sprung – Saturday Open Thread

King Hippo - March 12, 2022March 11, 2022

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Much to my surprise, the assdick MLB ownership cabal finally made a reasonable offer and we'll have el beisbol after all. Hooray, I guess? I mostly ignored it last season, and suspect I will again. Aside from making many, many of my patented #BFIB taeks/jokes. It's also tournament time, making college

Headlong Into the Void! Saturday Open Thread

King Hippo - March 5, 2022March 4, 2022

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Is the world still seven kinds of fucked? YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT. Good think there's Lesser Footy. Everton overcame the runaway freight train that is Boreham Wood, so the Toffees are in the FA Cup Flacco Eight, and one win away from Wembley. Strange days. But for the Prem, we kick

Six Days Dry as the Sahara – Lesser Footy Open Thread

King Hippo - February 19, 2022February 18, 2022

No, for the love of Christ, I am not off the pills. WHY THE MONKEYFUCK WOULD ANYONE DO THAT?? But man, FITBAW heroine withdrawal is bad enough. Thank fuck for Frank Lampard, amirite?? If you wake up for Hammers/Barcodes, and you aren't Fronk, you get what you deserve - it's behind

The Day Before The Owl 2022 Open Thread

King Hippo - February 12, 2022February 11, 2022

So much excite! Two squadrons that I don't have even a tiny bit of hatred for, playing for the Owl title. What are we to do in the lead-up? WATCH LESSER FOOTY, of course! Because of the 2022 Sticky Icky Stoner Games Winter Olympics, or just out of rampant greed -

The One Where Hippo Starts Watching Everton Again

King Hippo - January 22, 2022January 22, 2022

Admittedly, the rumours around the managerial search...have not been encouraging. There remains chaos and incompetence in the boardroom. But fuck it, Useless Fuckwit Benitez is gone, and I can watch my beloved Toffees again. Which is timely, given that Everton/Villa are the wakey-bakey Saturday offering (7:30, USA). Slippy G returns to

Lesser USA (Starting) Today

King Hippo - January 1, 2022December 31, 2021

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Rest in peace, NBCSN. Woe be to USA's loyal Law and Order re-run devotees, the Premier League is coming to rule Saturday morning. Don't worry, Rebecc-ur and the Robbies will still run things. And they won the bid for the next 7 or so years, so things should be stable for

Holiday Weekend Becomes Regular Weekend Lesser Footy and JV Stuff

King Hippo - November 27, 2021November 26, 2021

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Anyone else come to the title's realization, and get pre-depressed? Just me, then. And Everton hasn't even lost (again) yet. We start early with Gooners and Barcodes (7:30, NBCSN). One hopes Handsome Mikel takes out some frustrations in this one, as the visitors cosplay as murderous shieks. FUN TIMES! You're going to