A TOAST TO BLEERGH: Your 2017 New England Patriots Preview

The Maestro - August 28, 2017August 28, 2017

[INT. - A dark, candlelit dungeon appears slowly in the dim light. A hooded figure sits alone at a rough-hewn wooden table, with stacks of ancient, leather-bound volumes piled high. All of a sudden, a frantic knock is heard through a heavy, wooden door.] SMALLER HOODED FIGURE: My Lord, I’ve found it!

Bye Week Update: New England Patriots

The Maestro - November 2, 2016November 1, 2016

The New England Patriots head into their bye week with the best record in the NFL at 7-1. They are better than your favorite team. Their quarterback has an infinitely better life than yours. Their fans remain insufferable as hell. They once drafted a murderer. And despite the sheer annoyingness

ALL HAIL BLEERGH: Your 2016 New England Patriots Preview

The Maestro - August 23, 2016August 23, 2016

[INT. - NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS TRAINING CAMP.] [A full moon shines over the night sky at Gillette Stadium, as an eerie quiet settles over the sleepy town of Foxborough, MA.] [No wind blows, and no streetlights shine. All is pitch dark, and an image slowly fades into focus as the viewer's eyes

DFO’s Resident Pats Fan Checks In With His Thoughts on the AFC Championship Game

The Maestro - January 24, 2016January 24, 2016

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Start Or Sit (On Your Face): The DFO Fantasy/Sex Mailbag

The Maestro - November 27, 2015

Mmmm. Tryptophan. A hell of a drug. Hope everybody enjoyed their Thanksgivings yesterday, and kept the hand-to-hand combat to a minimum between yesterday's family gatherings and today's moronic Black Friday deals! Anyways, enough shoehorning topical #content into the intro. We need to talk essentials here. My takeaways from yesterday's matchups: Chip