Your “All This Talk About Black Balls Is Going To Summon Either Nat Turner or Buddy Cole” Thursday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • Josh Gordon has been denied in an attempt to be reinstated.
    • No reason has been given. Gordon last played for the Browns in 2014.
    • He can reapply in the fall.
    • FYI: his CFL rights are owned by the Calgary Stampeders.
  • In reinstated player news, Daryl Washington was cut by the Cardinals, 16 days after his reinstatement & 11 days since the Draft.
    • Mostly because they have younger, cheaper players on-hand.
  • Victor Cruz will be visiting the Jags on May 23rd.
    • Maybe Shahid Khan wants to learn how to salsa?
  • Much like the Seahawks aren’t trading Richard Sherman, the 49ers aren’t trading NaVorro Bowman.

Finally, Blaine Gabbert signed a one-year, $900K deal with the Cardinals.

  • While this would normally be reason enough to proclaim the Cards are “going with the Flow”, we now live in an alt-facts world.

  • Most reaction to, again – a Blaine Gabbert signing, has been, “KAEP’S BEING BLACKBALLED!” or “Kaep’s just not a good QB anymore.”

  • It’s getting to the conspiracy point where reporters are creating theories & questioning who is creating & disseminating disinformation.
    • Even Florio, who is smaller than Peter King and thus able to better fondle Roger Goodell’s balls, has started examining the facts and finds evidence to suggest a coordinated attempt to have no one consider Kaepernick for a vacant position.
  • Other notable players who accuse the League of blackballing them in recent history include Ray Rice, Greg Hardy, and Johnny Manziel – although all three were pretty much self-induced.

Tonight’s sports:

Nationally, it’s pretty thin…

  • NBA: Game 6: Spurs at Rockets – 8:00PM | ESPN / Sportsnet1
  • MLB: Mariners at Blue Jays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet

Hopefully, you can something more enjoyable on local TV.

The NHL starts the third round on Friday – Preds at Ducks.


I’m seeing U2 tomorrow night – The Joshua Tree Tour 2017.

I saw the last Joshua Tree tour in 1987; that t-shirt sure don’t fit anymore. I’m scared that if I drink enough I’ll wake up in the desert, with Balls & Low-Commander poking me with sticks. At least, I HOPE THEY’RE STICKS!.

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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UnsurprisedblaxabbathblackroseMD1Moose -The End Is Well NighRikki-Tikki-Deadly Recent comment authors
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blackroseMD1

It’s 2017 and I still have no idea who killed Laura Palmer. Considering the new show starts soon, I should probably figure that out.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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blaxabbath

Trump is absolutely Trump – but the FDA has been little more than an industry trade group for decades and Big Pharm….well, this opioid epidemic didn’t start on January 16.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Oh, I know.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

Fuck it. My generation had the best cartoons.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I never got to watch it. It aired before I would wake up in the morning.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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Gratliff

Still super jelly that Japan had a custom opening for X-Men.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

HAHAHA

Gratliff

25 years later and I still have the ending of that theme stuck in my head. Best part is that James Bond Jr. is actually James’ nephew. Bond is definitely giving it to his sister-in-law and/or sister.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

WHOA!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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OOOK??

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

OOK OOK

Gratliff

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

YUP!

Motherfucking P*ts fan.

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I knew that this shitbag racist fuck (Someone so beligerently racist and drunk he was arrested in fucking TEXAS) was a fan of those cheating fuck weasels.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

It’s kind of amazing that Lifetime has aired a series about a housewife with a a good bra giving guys handjobs for multiple seasons.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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I think I lost my wallet.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I need to go in for a closer look.

Google has been promising, but I think we can go deeper.

(NSFW) http://pixxxels.org/image/ba9nyo5o1/

Jackpot! https://imgur.com/a/dB6b9

Redshirt

Watching Con Air and I just realized something. Bad Guys plan essentially involved on getting the gun from the pilots’ lockbox. What if the pilots decided not to open the door, giving them access to the only gun on the plane. True, the guards are as good as dead, but so are the convicts when that plane hits the tarmac.

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

This opening band for Me First and the Gimme Gimmes, who really should just be a B-52’s cover band, has a song has a song called “Rikki-Tikki-Talky.”

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Woo hoo!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

You brought up Santa Clause 3: Escape Clause.

All you arguments are invalid!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Are you saying that is not a cinematic masterpiece, one that will live in the very highest categories of appreciation of the art form? That this very Tim Allen is not the Maurice Auguste Chevalier of our generation??

Redshirt

Oh, yes. Its on pace with Vegas Vacation Chevy Chase and Rocky V Sylvester Stallone.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Isn’t this Mrs. Claus?

https://gfycat.com/SandyLimpBuffalo
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

I saw a request for a GIF so…

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Redshirt

THE GIF GODS HAVE FORSAKEN US!

Here it is in YouTube form. (It was a perfect setup too)

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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Redshirt

Yum! Racist tears!

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Plus, he’s from Connecticut. So he could very well be a P*ts fan.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

Another popular movie I haven’t seen.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Don’t think it was that popular at the time;
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080745/business?ref_=tt_ql_dt_4

It seems that people watch it on free cable.

Fronkenshteen

/peeks out from manhole cover
//reads headlines
///lowers manhole cover

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

OOooooohhhhhhhhhh

Horatio Cornblower

Manhole!? I thought they closed that place down!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

THERE WE GO!!!

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

More! More! We must summon Buddy!

Redshirt

Tomorrow is my last day off work after taking a complete week off. I completed no projects, did nothing productive and wasted an entire week.

Time well spent.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

That sounds like what most people do at work.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I am SOOOOO angry this was canceled!!

http://www.msn.com/en-us/tv/news/abc-cancels-last-man-standing-and-the-angry-tweets-roll-in/ar-BBAZGxF?OCID=ansmsnnews11

*Never watched it, not even sure I was aware of its existence.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Alex Jones is saying its a conspiracy by left wing ABC because it was a conservative show.

Methinks the fact that its ratings were bottoming out and that the salary for the crew was fucking significantly high is the more likely cause.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

A conservative sitcom?? Like Reba or whatever that was?

Thing is Alex Jones always has a strong foundation for his statements in science, logic, verifiable and back-checked, multisourced facts.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

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blaxabbath

Saving Grace

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Was Superjail! conservative?

Redshirt

I just had a thought. A Conservative Show that shows a normal Republican family in the 2010s might be good…

…for a least a season until Executive Meddling turns it into what they think Conservatives is (makes Family Guy’s views of Conservative look compassionate).

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I prefer my villains to be less comically evil.

Anyway, you’re describing an update to King of the Hill.

Redshirt

Hey, Conservatives aren’t evil…in theory.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Conservatism is based on obedience to those with power, essentially might makes right, because the future is scary and the past was always better. Edmund Burke was literate and eloquent, but a scared goon nonetheless.

Redshirt

No they canceled that show?! I’ll miss that…

(rushes to Wikipedia page to see what the hell that show it about)

…really? Tim Allen had another show? Huh.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

This cracked me up.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Bloody Lethal
Bloody Lethal

Why is it illegal to drive while using your cell phone but it is completely acceptable to eat an ice cream cone while behind the wheel?

herodotus450
herodotus450

What about driving? How can you possibly be able to concentrate on driving while you are driving?

Bloody Lethal
Bloody Lethal

Do you mean thrusting?

Senor Weaselo

I know, you should be working on your short game!

Bloody Lethal
Bloody Lethal

… eating an ice cream cone while driving is like trying to tie a sailor’s knot with your mouth and one hand. While going 70mph. And driving a car.

King Hippo

Once, during rush hour on I-40, I saw a woman reading a fucking book whilst driving 70 mph

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I have seen that, a cop typing away at his laptop, guy finishing off a 1/2 gallon carton of OJ with carton full in front of face, doing nails, doing make-up, shaving.

A friend got hit from behind and it fucked up her neck; the lady got out and was blaming her while she had a huge streak of eyeliner completely across her forehead. People in 3,000 lbs pieces of steel…..

Redshirt

In Drive Thru, I once handed a fat lady 2 ice cream cones who drove off. I was going to call the police, but I just figured I’d let Natural Selection play its course.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

People are stupid, they suck, and shouldn’t be allowed to operate phones let alone multi-ton machines that produce enough force to liquify the human body.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised
Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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Redshirt

I’d love to give that a 2-1 count, if you know what I mean.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Someone is protecting a wee snowflake from getting his little feels hurted.

litre_cola

Hello fellows, how are we this evening?

King Hippo

Does the word “meconium” mean something to you now? 😀

litre_cola

Gramma Cola was here and with a C section 2 days in the hospital! I saw no meconium whatsoever.

King Hippo

I hope you made Grandma a nice THC pound cake!

litre_cola

I had some leftover cigarillos for her and as much wine as she could drink, which turns out is a lot. She is gone now sadly so slap some decals on me because I am the pit crew now.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That is some pretty weird porn.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Then explain Gisele.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

If it stays soft and takes that long to ejaculate, there’s a problem. At least I have an excuse that it takes longer because of medication.

King Hippo

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/edblog/the-president-admits-to-obstruction-on-national-tv

“The fuck is wrong with this asshole?” – ghost of Richard Milhaus Nixon

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Nixon is just pissed at what he can get away with and how loyal the party is to him.

Senor Weaselo

If I didn’t live on this planet and was an outside observer, from say, Betelgeuse Seven, I would be morbidly curious about what it would take for Trump’s staunchest supporters to abandon him and/or for Congress to actually do something.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Cognitive dissonance; apparently the second strongest force immediately behind idiocy.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Nothing. There is literally nothing they won’t protect him from.

Especially because conventional methods of protest and grievance don’t work, and no one with any reach will contemplate just how radical things must change to get their attention. I mean like a nationwide general strike. But that will never happen, so fuck it.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Oh, are we doing this early?

My brother still misses WMC.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

OOooolonngg johnson!!!

Shogun Marcus

My wife thinks I’m awful. I’m not, just drowsy dumb from allergy meds. I will not and cannot win. Drinking would kill me, being me as I am makes her skeptical. Yay.

King Hippo

owning our awfulness is important, yo

Shogun Marcus

I own it fully. I’ve never claimed otherwise. The doubt, earned or not, is what sucks.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I say I own mine fully, but I still owe about 76% of the Bluebook value on the loan amount.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Drinking cause its Friday…and then I realized its THursday…

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FUck it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Thursday is a good day for happy hour……. so I’ve heard.

King Hippo

12 May is a teacher workday FOAR Wake County public schools, so fuck it. I worked until 6 to clean my virtual desk, then had an extra v-profen.

Sleeping in, Everton match at 2:45 WOO!!

/would go out, but have neither money nor life

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

/would go out, but have neither money nor life

This is me.

Redshirt

Seriously, Dominos! Quit the Ferris Beuller commercials! Everytime I see one of those, I get a sudden urge to kill a puppy or a kitten and its only a matter of time before the urge get un-repressible!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Pete Carroll loves this song cause he too believes there are lasers in the jungle.

Greg Schiano hates this song because HEY LOOK AT THE LITTLE PUSSY BOY WHO’S AFRAID OF A FEW LITTLE GERMS!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Jason Pierre-Paul gets triggered by the bit about the bomb in the baby carriage.

scotchnaut

https://youtu.be/vMm98bp7Ihk

Great cover of this tune.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Bloody Lethal
Bloody Lethal

I am currently very much enjoying this album:

King Hippo

The real star of Fargo Season 3 is Mary Elizabeth Winstead’s midriff. MEOW!!!

Bloody Lethal
Bloody Lethal

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Naugahyde® bra; protect dem titties from de murdererers.
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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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King Hippo

I actually had no problem with the pledge of allegiance stuff, but they asked the dude follow-up questions…and he’s dumb as a box of hammers. Much better role models on social/racial justice issues out there.

And yeah, he’d be signed if he wanted to take $900K and be a backup liek The Flow.

Seems a fairer comp is Catler or Fitz, low-end starters who ain’t nobody want, at least until a catastrophic pre-season injury or three.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

So because he is not the sharpest knife in the drawer he should just shut up and stand up?

From the news available no team is offering him a back-up role either; we don’t know if this is true or not.

http://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/colin-kaepernick-says-hell-donate-1-million-to-charities-that-help-communities-in-need/

Redshirt

Ah, family. You can’t live with them; you have the right to a speedy and public trial before a jury of your peers.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Fuck the NFL.

Bring on Buddy.

Upon consideration of an idea I had as I hit the button, I now want Kaep to ditch football to replace Feinstein and make Goodell’s and the rest of the owners’ lives Hell as a senator.

Redshirt

Yes, because Kaepernick has shown an willingness to have an open dialogue with people with opposing viewpoints rather than just make showy statements that do nothing to advance the cause or address the problem.

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ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

Noting your sarcasm, but doesn’t that make him perfect for politics?

Redshirt

…sadly yes.

When did Government break down? Was it the ’70s when the Liberals were rooting against our Armed Forces, or was it the ’00s when Bush decided to run a war off the books and without any plans for after the war and his party went ‘sure thing, Dubya'”?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

In all honesty? I think with the formation of the Military Industrial Complex and its erosion of people’s conception of the government as anything more than a war machine.

King Hippo

and who tried to warn us? Fucking Eisenhower, of all people.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

‘Member the big end of the cold war dividend that would be invested in infrastructure, reducing the deficit, and education?

I guess a lot of people forgot.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

/WEEPS

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Was it the ’70s when the Liberals were rooting against our Armed Forces

Go fuck yourself.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Agreed.

Gratliff

This is an especially bad take given that Nixon and Kissinger were out finding the best ways to napalm civilians at the time.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No because he’d actually have to make showy statements that do nothing to advance the cause or address the problem. His outrage is far too muted and without scapegoats that will gather the ignorant masses to feverish outrage themselves.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Showy statements”; quietly sitting during the national anthem. :Nothing to advance the cause”; bringing attention to the issue of unarmed black people getting killed by police at a 20x factor than whites and donating time and money to various charities involved with the issue. Do those with opposing viewpoints say unarmed black males being killed, detained with due cause, searched, targeted, etc. say that that is happening at just the right pace or not enough. I’m not saying he is a genius, but he saw and experienced racism and felt he had to act in some way and he did.