Oh boy, folks. It’s time to watch 10 crazy people yell at each other tonight.
Here is your list of lunatics, in descending order of poll results that don’t in any way matter yet:
The Donald
Jeb (Yep Another) Bush
Scott (Fuck the Poors) Walker
Ben (No Matter What He Says, He’s Somehow A Freaking Doctor) Carson
Mike (It’s So Bad That I’m Here) Huckabee
Ted (Yes, This Is My Dad’s Suit) Cruz
Rand (Sure, I Invented My Own Ophthalmology Certification Board) Paul
Marco (Where’s My Water) Rubio
Chris (Real Life Sopranos Governor) Christie
John (Who?) Kasich
Have at it, folks. We’ll be here all night to be just goddamned awful about these terrible people.
Also, some of these guys were very easy to find a ridiculous picture of (looking at you Ted Cruz) and some people, while they are lunatics, never take a dumb looking picture (Thanks Ben Carson. That’s 10 minutes I’ll never get back…).
She don’ feel safe in her own country! An’ it’s all ‘cuz of Prezident Blackenstein!
Jesus, someone throw Trump some water wings ’cause he’s drowning out there.
I love that the main thrust of Trump’s campaign is that America is horrible and stupid, and yet all the ‘Murica folk are eating it up.
Relevant: http://www.theonion.com/article/nations-poor-win-election-for-nations-rich-1246
Was that a “I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul” right there?
If Trump didn’t talk about Tom Brady’s deflated balls, NO ONE would be talking about it. NO ONE DENIES THIS!
I shall never share my false proof!
MMMMMAAAAKKKKKKEEEEE OOOOOUUUUTTTTTTTT
Jeb wants to hit Donald and I want him to do it.
http://i.imgur.com/3E0djeH.jpg
Ayo, Republicans: If you want to appeal to the next generation of voters, quit mentioning a past President whose last time in the Oval Office was fucking 1989.
You did NOT just denigrate Saint Ronald the Forgetful.
Anyone else hoping for an African geography quiz?
Oooh, throw in a trick question, ask them where Guyana is!
French Guyana?
Hell, I’d be interested in seeing a North American geography quiz. THAT would be damn good TV!
Uz-beki-beki-beki-beki-stan.
(I miss Herman Cain.)
Huh? That was actually kind of rational. He’ll never make it in this party.
I’m pretty sure if President Huckabee sends federal troops into every woman’s womb, he’ll be the first President to violate the Third Amendment.
Where is this tsunami of drugs?
I WANT MY TSUNAMI OF DRUGS
http://i.imgur.com/D3YKUQY.jpg
“I’m in favor of life, that’s why I want to defund cancer screenings for women!”
“Mr. Trump, you’ve called women ‘pigs’ in the past…”
“Only the ugly fat ones. And even THEY shouldn’t be raped by Mexicans.”
You could tell me he said that tonight and if I didn’t watch this debate, I’d have totally believed it happened.
I love you, man. +1
Christie looks like wants a burger.
Huckabee: “Blah, blah, Jesus, blah, blah.”
Excuse me. I have to go throw-up.
Mike Huckabee is the bass player of the US electorate.
That is also not true.
You could keep typing that over and over without even watching, and it would still work.
So birth control is radical? What year is this?
Also I have no idea why my avatar is pk
It’s to shame you into importing a real avatar.
He’s the default avatar now. I’m hoping that people will go in and change them to get rid of him.
Please, Lord, yes.
It’s because you haven’t picked a new one. Pick it. Quick!
That’s live. PK’s checking you out via webcam.
None of what he just said is true.
http://i.imgur.com/ZL6t7RB.gifv
“Do any of you have any actual policy positions you’d like to elaborate on?”
http://gifs.chrisarcand.com/bueller.gif
I’m in bed with the mattress lobby
Trump is going after Megyn now. He’s fucked.
Looked like they said Trump went University of Pennis
So Fox News is basically running this debate like the WWF used to do during Monday Night Raw:
“Undertaker said you’re a giant wimp. What do you say to that?”
Someone get the chair…
this cant be happening
http://files.sultanik.com/random/reactions/RonPaulNotHappening.jpg
Do you want to be called Vito Corleone?
No one has posted this yet. It is relevant.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uyaJ8eR9tzw
Oh am I glad I don’t have cable. I’d be tempted to watch this.
Can’t believe John Stewart is hanging it up on the very night the GOP clown car unloads a Cleveland Steamer.
RUBIO MIC DROP HOLY FUCK
It is important to have a brain!
– Republican Zombie
Rubio looks thirsty
http://i.imgur.com/ignjyvf.jpg
KAOS KAOS KAOS
My vote for Republican Candidate
“Basically, you’re an idiot, sir. How do you respond?”
Shorter Trump: “I cannot… respect… the person… who’s not me.”
Oh, man, the train has already come off the rails.
jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj
So CNN isn’t even broadcasting this shitshow? Don’t make me watch Fox News.
wooooo governor sandwich
They stole that buzzer from The Price Is Right…
How to run the country like a business :
Step 1 : Increase revenues (raise taxes)
Step 2 : Cut costs (layoff government employees, close military bases, cut funding to all projects, including things like road maintenance.
Step 3 : Change the Constitution so only citizens who purchase voting shares in the county can vote for president.
Step 4 : Increase asset efficiency (turn the national parks into sweatshops exempt from labor laws, use detained immigrant labor, sell the output internationally)
Step 5 : Raise salaries for the Executive branch, include bonuses.
I’m expecting someone to do the Wave.
Trump’s hair is on it.
Donald Trump’s serious face looks like he’s trying to shit himself.
God I cannot stand looking at Brett Baier’s face