Your Late Afternoon Game Thread (No Pants Allowed)

Mia @ Jax: Oh, to be in Florida watching a football game. Eh, my couch is just as nice. Miami gutted out a win last week while the Jags QB Bortled his way to just over 50% passing, 2 intercepts and 5 sackeroos. Jax is worried about a man named Suh. As well they should-I’ve no doubt that he will tear the head off an opposing O-lineman, stuff it down his pants and say “get a load of THIS package” to the Jax cheerleaders, causing several of them to faint. It’s bound to happen.

Bal @ Oak: The Suggster is gone for the year. He’s off to winter in Paris I’m told. This game has ugly written all over it. Raven rook DE Davis graded out as the 2nd best pass rusher at his position last week. The only guy in front of him was Aniston-lover JJ Watt. Raiders are missing their starting safeties for this game. That doesn’t sound good. A film guy studied Cooper in his pro debut (5 grabs for 47) and says he mitted 5 of 6 catchable balls and was open on 67% of the routes he ran. Film guy says there’s only so much you can do with Carr as your QB.

Dal @ Phi: Dez is gone for 4 months so now it’s Cole Beasley’s Time To Shine! And he’s gonna shine like a crazy diamond up until the moment he’s concussed. The Cowboys have won their last three in Philly. Murray ran for 9 whole yards last week. If you take away the 2 TDs he scored that’s one hell of a lousy day. Byron Maxwell, DB for the Eagles gets to cover not Julio Jones (that was last week) and not Dez Bryant this week. He is listed as “hopeful” with a shattered ego for this game.

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The Mighty Feklahr

Imagine the LOLwagon if the Boys win the division without Romonobyl and Dez?

Gratliff

Dallas needs to not play soft. There is more than enough time to fuck this up

Lolphinshttp://i1112.photobucket.com/albums/k497/animalsbeingdicks/animalsbeingdicks/abd-01.gif

John Difool

Troy Aikman- “Sam Bradford not seeing the field at all…”

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fleshwound_NPG

If this game were a racing driver…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4HSpx3aBq8

Col. Duke LaCross

Sad to see Pastor Maldonado wasn’t somehow involved.

Romonobyl

This is clearly the worst game of American Rules Football that I have ever witnessed.

Sill Bimmons

FLACCOVERTHROW

laserguru

Oh shit, oh kids. That grilled Peruvian chicken was good enough for Jehovah.

Jehovah Jehovah Jehovah.
/dodges stones.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

With an I?

Dick E. Phuck

This game is like a nuclear weapons test.

...

A badly, badly failed nuclear weapons test.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

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nomonkeyfun

On the ESPN NFL score page twitter tracker, everyone is talking about the games or post game reactions, maybe a heartfelt story or two.

Rovell: “Financially, there is no team in the league that makes more money from a playoff game than the Dallas Cowboys.”

What a fuckhead.
And I hate the Cowboys.

Doktor Zymm

I see both teams got my fake memo that the goal is now to LOSE the game.

Horatio Cornblower

So what they’re saying is that in addition to neither of the teams being able to play football the referees tonight don’t understand the rules?

Sounds about right.

The Mighty Feklahr

So, after the highly entertaining Iowa Hawkeye football game, The Mighty Feklahr finally managed to sleep off His partying about an hour ago. I literally walked into the living room as Romo killed his shoulder. He is still in better condition than Him.

Sill Bimmons

booo

LeighAnne

Every other NFC East team was Derpier Than Us: The 2015 Washington [*Redacted] s March to the Playoffs

Why Thank You Eddie

If this holds, will the Cowboys be the first team to have really lost the first two games they won? Thoughts?

happyfamilydad

Sanchez, Sanchez, Sanchez!!!

Spur

Someone needs to set this game’s “highlights” to the yakity sax.

...

WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW, PHILADELPHIA?

Why Thank You Eddie

Ha!

Gratliff

BEAT HIS ASS, DUCE

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Cowboys/Eagles – The Comedy of the Summer! If you need a laugh and are from anywhere but Dallas or Philly, catch it now!

litre_cola

Its a roller coaster of emotions.

2 botls of wine and continuing

/not even the night game

Horatio Cornblower

/Horatio gets out of the shower

Hey guys. How ’bout this Cowboys game huh? Pretty hard to watch but I think Romo will…

WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?!?

King Hippo

PREPARE YOUR ANUS. It’s Doopy Pantz time!!!!

John Difool

My face when Weeden gets a Super Bowl ring filling in for Romo and Romo gets an asterisk ring.

http://s246.photobucket.com/user/elatadexico/media/2012/082012/EpicLaugh_large.gif.html

fleshwound_NPG

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tundrajim

Are we sure Bradford shouldn’t be Doopy Pantz?

King Hippo

DOOPY EYEZ

Sill Bimmons

oh wow

Spur

If only Bradford had a uniform that fits…

Why Thank You Eddie

ANOTHER FESTIVUS MIRACLE! Jeebus, I’ve soiled myself!

Dick E. Phuck

Derpocalypse.

Doktor Zymm

I love this game. This game has risen to new heights of derp.

LeighAnne

Sam Bradford: You will not out-Derp me.

Gratliff

Oh my jesus fuck. FIRE EVERYONE

Thrillhouse

This isn’t a real game. No way.

Redshirt

And the fans rush the field in 3…2…1…

...

Oh man. The riot will be extra violent once the Eagles fuck away this–

AND THEY DID IT RIGHT AS I TYPED THIS!

Romonobyl

Is this DFO or DFSlooooooowwwww?

litre_cola

I may not appreciate your allegiances, but goddammit I appreciate your comment,.

...

It’s tired of dealing with Eagles-Cowboys game.

Martin

This is like when Pablo Escobar just walked out of the prison he had built for himself.

Spur

This game is stupid.

Dick E. Phuck

DERPBOYS.

Sill Bimmons

Pantz. Dooped.

Gratliff

San-chise! San-chise! San-chise!

Redshirt

– “This has been a terrible game to watch.”
– “And with that we welcome in a new audience.”

A rare +1 to the Commenting Crew

fleshwound_NPG

A VERY rare +1

Horatio Cornblower

Based on how this season is going that may very well be the highlight of the Cowboys’ season.

Gratliff

Oof. This game is a blocked punt away from being 6-3

WhyEaglesWhy

And it should be.

Spur

Cowboys O-Line doing their thing.

Smithchez

Jacksonville with the 3rd down RB dive straight out of the “We don’t typically expect plays to matter this late in the game and we don’t really know what to do now” playbook.

Mother Puncher

Holy shit I just laughed at a Joe Buck joke.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

The TRUE mark of an awful game.

Spur

Can Sean Lee throw a football?

bloodyhandedgod

Cowboys are considering the Wishbone for the next 2 months. Or so.

WhyEaglesWhy

Save me Nacho, you’re my only hope!