Tonight is the 45th anniversary of the first ever Monday Nighter! We’re gonna be treated to so many wonderful memories-mamember the time that Cosell called Alvin Garrett “a little monkey” and then denied it? How about the time that the self-absorbed Joe Theismann decided that everyone should see his tibia? My best csb memory of MNF involved me and my fellow staff guys trying to close the dining room that I bar-tended early so that we could get over to a bar called Tramps (run by all my exes) and spend all of our combined tip money on pitchers of beer. (“Yes I realize it’s only 7:30 sir but we’re just about to close.”) I didn’t say this but one time I saw Dexter Manley trying to find his coke dealer at that same place. Remember that one year that he played for the Ottawa Rough Riders? Neither does he.
Jets @ Colts: So it comes down to this-Pagano’s thousand yard stare vs. whatever Bowles does that we should be making fun of. What do Tanzania and the Jets have in common? They’re both short of ivory. I had Ivory getting injured by wk. 4 but he up and done it after the first. Brown-noser! So now it’s Ridley or Powell, Powell or Ridley. So much to choose from! Moncrief gets not-Revis so he should do okay. Right? Right! Colts were ambushed by the Bills last week and the Jets lost to Cleveland. Hold up. They beat Cleveland? This is why we can’t have nice things. Play according to form, Jets team! One Jets blog I came across was yakking about Geno maybe coming back early from the punctured ear drum he suffered while listening to some chin music. Congrats Jets desperation, you have successfully disguised yourself as hope.
I could be causing this terrible game and somehow worse halftime coverage. I am wearing pants. Sorry, this is on me
Also, I need Luck to out score Andre Johnson by 2 pts in the second half
Never blame the QB when he passes a certain talent threshold, understand guys?
“Jus’ watchin’ the game.”
http://38.media.tumblr.com/d1ef0e000fc066564c8c45dc273ebd6d/tumblr_nsy6ykdQkg1rlb6iho1_1280.gif
http://i.imgur.com/B9RYFjG.jpg
Why are you guys watching Berman? Do you hate yourselves?
Yeah, even I don’t hate myself that much.
Oh good Berman giving baseball highlights. This is what I’m here to see.
Archer on Comedy Central, thank god.
Baseball, eh? The halftime show is a Peter King column come to life.
http://33.media.tumblr.com/480343299c82af78f3e44c2100dfec4f/tumblr_nt95m9O3Tp1uw67kyo1_500.gif
Real talk for a second. Rick and Morty. Never watched it. Should I?
Yes.
One of my favorites at this time; pretty weird…. which is part of the reason I like it.
Yes, watch. But Adult Swim is kinda dickish about streaming it if you don’t have an account with a NATIONAL GIANT cable company. Fuckers.
Ignore this game and watch now. I can give you sites if you need it. Must watch show.
Posting one just in case
http://watchseriesus.tv/rick-and-morty-season-1-episode-1-pilot/
Get your based balls the fuck outta here!
This chicken fricassee is starting to smell delicious.
NSFW
http://i.imgur.com/uR4R6qP
I won tickets to the Foo Fighters concert from the local Fox Sports station over the weekend. I need to go pick them up this week. The show is Fri night. I am also going to the ARI game on Sunday.
Should I just hock the tickets?
Absolutely not
The ARI tickets? Yup.
You see the Foo Fighters.
Will do.
I’m not that into music (but, of course, I like FF — everyone does) so I guess I just wanted to check.
Also brag that I won tickets.
Cutty: I’m not going to make it for Sunday… Clausen, your going to need to start for me.
Clausen: I…I… I’m gonna die, aren’t I?
Cutty: DDDOOOOOONNNNTTTTTTTT CCCCCAAAAARRRREEEEEEEEE!
Is there word on his condition?
Hammy, out two weeks.
Things that have no corners : domes, spheres, circles, ovals, colts
“Pretty sure pears got corners, dummy.”
-Emmit Smith
Don’t forget Bears.
Jesus Berman. The bags under your eyes. Did you hang out with Irsay last night??
How cool would it be to watch an A-10 Warthog use Berman for target practice?
I was thinking more of a Puma.
Do you think armor piercing shells could penetrate all that blubber?
Just put him in front of a chain gun and go to town. Less chance of it missing, that way.
http://i.imgur.com/eo6N4MO.jpg
Great.
http://38.media.tumblr.com/918eb8ce7b7977e235a3b4d430fca049/tumblr_nkt989NWUC1r54qfqo1_500.gif
http://38.media.tumblr.com/0f4779077890f98899e07ecf79e7c066/tumblr_mllotiDOMT1s852lfo1_500.gif
The Blueprint for the Colts is best known for that famous line, “H to the izzo, D to the izzor.”
There’s the Folk we all remember.
Nick Folk with a picture-perfect Scott Norwood impression right there.
That half couldn’t of ended any other way imo
2 missed field goals in a fucking dome? must be the waves of cheesy exhalations coming out of the fat hump contingent
The wind breaking inside this stadium is really a factor tonight.
We sure Belicheck didn’t invent pylon cam?
Oh Jest…
Oh come on, we’re supposed to be surprised that Luck has no rhythm?
More movie contract discussion.
http://33.media.tumblr.com/ad2643c3620e01b318b8778d982ea55d/tumblr_nsdrhlV5AD1uv0xido1_400.gif
“Yes, Jessica, that is almost exactly right… now get naked.”
“Oh, but I can’t do THAT! I’ll have children one day!”
“JESUS FUCK WRITE IN ANOTHER GUGINO SCENE!!”
Just let it go, man.
I really really really really really hope Nick Folk misses this after Gruden and Tirico being amazed at no one taking a timeout, then running down the clock.
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES
Can we please stop thinking icing the kicker is a thing?
Jason Garrett need not apply
Welp fuck me then.
How else will you make your kicker cool and refreshing for a summer day?
What if “icing” referred to putting a kicker out on an ice floe to drift away forever and ever?
Buffalo Wild Wings, shitty food for growing children
I went with my Pops once ‘cuz he was really craving wings. Asked the waitress for hot (as in spicy wings) and she looked at us like we were aliens.
Because they’ve got a million fucking sauces. Never again.
Anyone left in the DFO Survivor pool?
Please tell me by the end of this game Pagano will have to suit up and play Corner for Indy. I would be so happy.
http://38.media.tumblr.com/ee5965efbb645e61c13d388acded2f76/tumblr_mevm9uUj4L1qaobbko1_500.gif
http://i.imgur.com/aprKM40.jpg
fuck yes.
See a penny, pick it up, all the day you’ll have good luck. The Jets prepared for this game by leaving all the copper on the ground.
HODOR SMASH PUNY GATORADE BOTTLE!
Oh yes GOOOOORRREEEEEEEEEE
http://honestanswerradio.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/GoreSnort.jpg
Luck Hodor’d when he should have Hodor’d
http://i614.photobucket.com/albums/tt224/supnick/original%20content/meth.gif
I’m out of meth gif…moving onto method man…
Ah I see the drubbing in the AFC Championship game broke Andrew
After that play, Luck’s attempt to just throw a punt on 2nd & 10 doesn’t seem so fucking stupid now, does it?
HODORFUMBLE
THIS GUY ANDREW LUCK I CALL HIM THE PHYSICIST BECAUSE HE HAS ALL THE RIGHT ANSWERS BUT THE PROBLEM IS STILL UNSOLVED.
Oh god she is a fatty
/ like 30% chance I printed a pic of Upton for my dad downstairs because I can’t right click correct
It’s always good to do something nice for the old man.
Would penetrate.
HE SEES THE SWARM
Long passes are way more exciting when they end up somewhere sort of near a receiver.
I find it interesting that Andrew Luck’s last name shares several of the same words as “Lucy”, the missing link. They both look like they could be related.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/dffc3502aee071a1c9c4ee6e78e6a374/tumblr_nqslmgZFg71r2vo64o1_1280.jpg
Done and done.
http://33.media.tumblr.com/08c0e461854b592b1e9e44f046d77034/tumblr_nbsnfy1vkE1tl2u6ho1_500.gif
would not even be able to finish taking my pants off, let’s be honest
DAMN THOSE HARPIES