Your Monday! Monday! Monday! Night Game Open Thread

Tonight is the 45th anniversary of the first ever Monday Nighter! We’re gonna be treated to so many wonderful memories-mamember the time that Cosell called Alvin Garrett “a little monkey” and then denied it? How about the time that the self-absorbed Joe Theismann decided that everyone should see his tibia? My best csb memory of MNF involved me and my fellow staff guys trying to close the dining room that I bar-tended early so that we could get over to a bar called Tramps (run by all my exes) and spend all of our combined tip money on pitchers of beer. (“Yes I realize it’s only 7:30 sir but we’re just about to close.”) I didn’t say this but one time I saw Dexter Manley trying to find his coke dealer at that same place. Remember that one year that he played for the Ottawa Rough Riders? Neither does he.

Jets @ Colts: So it comes down to this-Pagano’s thousand yard stare vs. whatever Bowles does that we should be making fun of. What do Tanzania and the Jets have in common? They’re both short of ivory. I had Ivory getting injured by wk. 4 but he up and done it after the first. Brown-noser! So now it’s Ridley or Powell, Powell or Ridley. So much to choose from! Moncrief gets not-Revis so he should do okay. Right? Right! Colts were ambushed by the Bills last week and the Jets lost to Cleveland. Hold up. They beat Cleveland? This is why we can’t have nice things. Play according to form, Jets team! One Jets blog I came across was yakking about Geno maybe coming back early from the punctured ear drum he suffered while listening to some chin music. Congrats Jets desperation, you have successfully disguised yourself as hope.

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
761 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I could be causing this terrible game and somehow worse halftime coverage. I am wearing pants. Sorry, this is on me

upstate underdog

Also, I need Luck to out score Andre Johnson by 2 pts in the second half

Never blame the QB when he passes a certain talent threshold, understand guys?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Spur
upstate underdog

Why are you guys watching Berman? Do you hate yourselves?

King Hippo

Yeah, even I don’t hate myself that much.

MikeWallaceAndGromit

Oh good Berman giving baseball highlights. This is what I’m here to see.

Sep

Archer on Comedy Central, thank god.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Baseball, eh? The halftime show is a Peter King column come to life.

Sharkbait

Real talk for a second. Rick and Morty. Never watched it. Should I?

Senor Weaselo

Yes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

One of my favorites at this time; pretty weird…. which is part of the reason I like it.

Spanky Datass

Yes, watch. But Adult Swim is kinda dickish about streaming it if you don’t have an account with a NATIONAL GIANT cable company. Fuckers.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Ignore this game and watch now. I can give you sites if you need it. Must watch show.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Sharkbait

Get your based balls the fuck outta here!

Old School Zero

This chicken fricassee is starting to smell delicious.

Spur
blaxabbath

I won tickets to the Foo Fighters concert from the local Fox Sports station over the weekend. I need to go pick them up this week. The show is Fri night. I am also going to the ARI game on Sunday.

Should I just hock the tickets?

ThePirateSloth

Absolutely not

entropy

The ARI tickets? Yup.

Spur

You see the Foo Fighters.

blaxabbath

Will do.

I’m not that into music (but, of course, I like FF — everyone does) so I guess I just wanted to check.

Also brag that I won tickets.

Sep

Cutty: I’m not going to make it for Sunday… Clausen, your going to need to start for me.

Clausen: I…I… I’m gonna die, aren’t I?

Cutty: DDDOOOOOONNNNTTTTTTTT CCCCCAAAAARRRREEEEEEEEE!

blaxabbath

Is there word on his condition?

Sep

Hammy, out two weeks.

Doktor Zymm

Things that have no corners : domes, spheres, circles, ovals, colts

blaxabbath

“Pretty sure pears got corners, dummy.”

-Emmit Smith

Lothar of the Hill People

Don’t forget Bears.

Sharkbait

Jesus Berman. The bags under your eyes. Did you hang out with Irsay last night??

jjfozz

How cool would it be to watch an A-10 Warthog use Berman for target practice?

ThePirateSloth

I was thinking more of a Puma.

His Right Honorable Lord Lordship the Lordly

Do you think armor piercing shells could penetrate all that blubber?

entropy

Just put him in front of a chain gun and go to town. Less chance of it missing, that way.

Spur
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Great.

Senor Weaselo

The Blueprint for the Colts is best known for that famous line, “H to the izzo, D to the izzor.”

There’s the Folk we all remember.

The Maestro

Nick Folk with a picture-perfect Scott Norwood impression right there.

The Mighty Feklahr

That half couldn’t of ended any other way imo

jjfozz

2 missed field goals in a fucking dome? must be the waves of cheesy exhalations coming out of the fat hump contingent

entropy

The wind breaking inside this stadium is really a factor tonight.

Spur

We sure Belicheck didn’t invent pylon cam?

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Oh Jest…

MikeWallaceAndGromit

Oh come on, we’re supposed to be surprised that Luck has no rhythm?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
entropy

“Yes, Jessica, that is almost exactly right… now get naked.”

“Oh, but I can’t do THAT! I’ll have children one day!”

“JESUS FUCK WRITE IN ANOTHER GUGINO SCENE!!”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Just let it go, man.

ThePirateSloth

I really really really really really hope Nick Folk misses this after Gruden and Tirico being amazed at no one taking a timeout, then running down the clock.

ThePirateSloth

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES

Sharkbait

Can we please stop thinking icing the kicker is a thing?

Jason Garrett need not apply

Sharkbait

Welp fuck me then.

Doktor Zymm

How else will you make your kicker cool and refreshing for a summer day?

...

What if “icing” referred to putting a kicker out on an ice floe to drift away forever and ever?

jjfozz

Buffalo Wild Wings, shitty food for growing children

Sep

I went with my Pops once ‘cuz he was really craving wings. Asked the waitress for hot (as in spicy wings) and she looked at us like we were aliens.

Because they’ve got a million fucking sauces. Never again.

Sep

Anyone left in the DFO Survivor pool?

entropy

Please tell me by the end of this game Pagano will have to suit up and play Corner for Indy. I would be so happy.

Spur
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

fuck yes.

Doktor Zymm

See a penny, pick it up, all the day you’ll have good luck. The Jets prepared for this game by leaving all the copper on the ground.

jjfozz

HODOR SMASH PUNY GATORADE BOTTLE!

Sill Bimmons
Sharkbait

Luck Hodor’d when he should have Hodor’d

JustStopDude

http://i614.photobucket.com/albums/tt224/supnick/original%20content/meth.gif

I’m out of meth gif…moving onto method man…

Ah I see the drubbing in the AFC Championship game broke Andrew

entropy

After that play, Luck’s attempt to just throw a punt on 2nd & 10 doesn’t seem so fucking stupid now, does it?

MikeWallaceAndGromit

HODORFUMBLE

Senor Weaselo

THIS GUY ANDREW LUCK I CALL HIM THE PHYSICIST BECAUSE HE HAS ALL THE RIGHT ANSWERS BUT THE PROBLEM IS STILL UNSOLVED.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Oh god she is a fatty

comment image

/ like 30% chance I printed a pic of Upton for my dad downstairs because I can’t right click correct

nomonkeyfun

It’s always good to do something nice for the old man.

blaxabbath

Would penetrate.

Sill Bimmons

HE SEES THE SWARM

Doktor Zymm

Long passes are way more exciting when they end up somewhere sort of near a receiver.

jjfozz

I find it interesting that Andrew Luck’s last name shares several of the same words as “Lucy”, the missing link. They both look like they could be related.

entropy

Done and done.

King Hippo

would not even be able to finish taking my pants off, let’s be honest

Sill Bimmons

DAMN THOSE HARPIES

1 4 5 6 7 8 11