Your NFC North “Race To The Middle” Open Thread

On a super lousy  shitty type day there was some quality distractification going on in last night’s open thread. My thanks to all those who took part. It was badly needed. Hey!-speaking of distractification…

GB @ Det: Here be two teams struggling in their own respective ways to get to 8-8. Neither will get there. Rodgers has done the gentle call-out to his receivers, saying “We’re not on the same page”. Apparently the Packers WR’s are on page 634 of Infinite Jest and Aaron is perusing GQ “for the articles!”. Over the last three games QB Stafford has been playing like a guy that was drafted really high and is expected to lift an entire franchise out of the doldrums. His new “No more gravyshakes/whipped chocolate pizza/slaughterhouse tasting menu/raw dough and Miracle Whip smoothie/post-game athletic cup tequila shooters” diet is starting to pay dividends! If only we fans of the game were capable of such discipline… The new OC The Jim Bob has worked wonders with the rushing game. Did you know that since he grabbed the reins the Lions have averaged 18 more yards per game in that category? I hope you were sitting down when I socked you with that knowledge. Who’d a thunk that was the difference between stinking and winning? Statisticians at ESPN, that’s who.

 

 

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WCS

HOLDING! HOLDING! HOLD—-

Horatio Cornblower

No, he was saying “molding”; they’re working on clay sculptures on the sideline.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Annnd now I’m nauseous.

Fuck you, Britt

Horatio Cornblower

Listen Playstation, I’mm all for your ads having Anna Kendricks’s clothes drop to the floor but I’d really prefer that she not disappear at the same goddamn time.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Anybody playing Battlefront? It looks fun, but the beta was goofy as hell.

Sharkbait

Anyone want to be on this conference call I have in a half hour? I certainly do not.

Doktor Zymm

Sure, what’s the number?

WCS

OOH! OHH! CALL ON ME!

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Sure!

Horatio Cornblower

I got you.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Will they recognize I don’t know what I’m talking about if I say paradigm a lot?

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Throw in a “synergize” every third sentence

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Jazzercise?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Can we play the penis game?

Horatio Cornblower

I was going to suggest the “meow” game.

If we both get on the call we can argue about that for 20 minutes.

Shogun Marcus

Let’s do this.

Horatio Cornblower

That’s right Jordy Nelson, this is all your stupid knee’s fault.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

No no, he gave himself up.

/Bitter

King Hippo

BALLGAME!!!

Doktor Zymm
Doktor Zymm

btw, I heart the giggly guy at the left.

Horatio Cornblower

I’ll bet he tried so hard not to break character too.

Sill Bimmons

hey

Senor Weaselo

What’s up Sill?

makeitsnowondem

It’s hard to blame the Lions lineman for that false start. He’s just really anxious to lose this game.

Horatio Cornblower

So my office holiday party is tomorrow, 2 days after the latest mass shooting. Two years ago it was the day OF the Sandy Hook shooting. I’m thinking my office should just stop having holiday parties. That should do the trick. It’s certainly more likely than, say, sensible gun control laws.

/falls off soapbox
//breaks nose

Gobdabbit.

Sharkbait

But if only those special needs adults had guns that would not have happened!

-Fox probably

...

Or you could propose a really fucking morbid new theme.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Fuck Fiat.

Your cars are ridiculous and your company is an embarrassment to an entire nation.

Leave my Star Wars alone

Senor Weaselo

Fix it again, Tony.

entropy

ENOUGH WITH THE FUCKING STAR WARS TIE INS ALREADY

Sharkbait

Holy fuck. Star Wars tie ins have reached FIAT now?

King Hippo

ok, fatass. One first down.

Sharkbait

So for that ad, the NFL Network couldn’t find a cardinals fan that DIDNT get a paycheck from them at some point?

Horatio Cornblower

You know what happens if I don’t get my to-do list done on Saturday?

It doesn’t fucking get done Sunday either.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Preach

bourb0nblues

I’m not sure I’d ever turn my back to Rodgers. Just sayin’

Sharkbait

I approve of rugby being added to the discussion.

Senor Weaselo

NOTOVERDOWN

Doktor Zymm

That just happened.

entropy

The Lions defense believes you can just ignore the quarterback, because In Lions’ practices, the quarterbacks never run.

Sill Bimmons

Iberico, Bayonne, or Parma?

WCS

Are those cities in Ohio or New Jersey?

Sharkbait

Parma. All day.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Iberico

Dunstan

YES.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Did you get logged in all proper-like?
And iberico.

Horatio Cornblower

Mike McCarthy shown on the sidelines studying his play sheet, wondering what field goal formation to try.

entropy

Holding being ignored completely on this drive…. BLEERGH will not be happy.

I wonder how much restraint Aaron Rodgers has when he doesn’t call McCarthy a dumb fuck at every opportunity.

WCS

Kind of a shame we’ve actually had two entertaining games in the same week, because we just went through our entire season allotment.

Brick Meathook

You know what this game needs? More head injuries.

No wait, I meant touchdowns. I have no idea why I said “head injuries” when I meant snapped femurs. Wait, I meant to say touchdowns! Shit! Go fuck yourselves!

I don’t know why I just said that when I really meant “I love you all.” Assholes.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

So, I just got here – Packers bad, Lions good, or a mix of both?

WCS

Kind of both?

King Hippo

More of former, but some both. Lions D has been legitimately good.

Shogun Marcus

Pack bad at footed ball.

entropy

The best answer I can give you is…. “sorta.”

Doktor Zymm

Rodgers, under pressure. If I cross my eyes the right way, I can see twice as many men not sacking him.

Horatio Cornblower

Just tuned in after catching up on “You’re The Worst”. Not sure if anyone else here watches that show but they are killing it this season. The ending this week hit me right in all the feels.

Sharkbait

Didnt see the newest one this week but this season has been interesting for sure.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

You’re the worst is a goddamned treasure. Did you see they renewed it for next year?
http://blerg.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/anigif_enhanced-492-1438278120-2.gif

blordinaryfagicmox

Give or receive? Eh doesn’t matter.

Horatio Cornblower

With that outfit it’s 50-50 which end he’s gonna be on.

I like those odds.

entropy

I was so angry with how they were treating Gretchen the last few weeks, but last night brought it home in a major way. So well done.

Horatio Cornblower

Agreed. That actress has done a really good job with a difficult role this season. Also she’s quirky hot, as the gif above amply proves.

entropy

God bless Aya Cash. She is a delight, quirky hot, and her delivery is fantastic. She needs to be a bigger star.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

I just said that to Mrs. Morris. I hope she becomes a big deal.

Horatio Cornblower

I hope she doesn’t because that will fuck up the show. Glad the renewed it for another season but curious how long the dynamic will hold.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

It seems like a show that will end pretty naturally after 3-4 seasons. Not tenable in the long run, but amazing while it’s here. A comet of a show.

WCS

The one and only Parmesan you need:

blordinaryfagicmox

What happened to Portia on the new series? She just seems much less attractive.

entropy

These Twitter commercials make me even happier I don’t use that piece of shit app.

And how is Ricky Fowler redefining what it means to be a golfer? Does he still hit the ball and then walk the fuck after it….. and then hit it again? If so, he hasn’t redefined shit. He wears some awful clothing, but his essential golfer-ness remains the same as anyone else.

King Hippo

Most excellent Carlin referencing!

Shogun Marcus

Doink for the doink God?

FOOL! THERE IS NO DOINK ONLY BLEERGH!

blordinaryfagicmox

Are there enough weirdos around here to support a civilization 5 email game? its kinda like fantasy football but on a nation building scale with barely disguised facism. So more like the real nfl than fantasy.

Doktor Zymm

IN

blordinaryfagicmox
Sill Bimmons

Cheddar or Swiss?

bourb0nblues

Cheddar, old.

WCS

Cheddah all day.

COME AT ME BROS

Senor Weaselo

Cheddar, blade sharp.

Doktor Zymm

Which Swiss?

entropy

What the fuck? “Running out of time on the play clock?” Am I the only one who sees the “25” seconds on the play clock?

Sill Bimmons

Parmesan or provolone?

blordinaryfagicmox

Gene Parmesan? Otherwise provolone.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

comment image

litre_cola

In all honesty the Packers, or Pats, who is the most Caucasian team?

makeitsnowondem

I have no data on this but I know in my heart it’s the Packers.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Pats. They have everything, but they still whine anytime they get the illusion of being persecuted.

entropy

Do they buy each other Audis for Christmas?

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Jesus, I don’t even know what the Southie pronunciation of “Audi” would be…

AHHHHHHHDDDDDDIIIIIII maybe?

Senor Weaselo

I think it’s Hyundais and Subarus.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SdopTDcQtog

Sill Bimmons

Hot or sweet?

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Sweet. Hot fades with age.

Wait, are we talking about sausages still?

Senor Weaselo

Hot, but they don’t make ’em hot enough yet. Give it 25 years.

Sill Bimmons

Pepperoni or sausage?

King Hippo

I should get both, since I leave off the nasty-assed cheese.

makeitsnowondem

Nice of the Lions to allow us at least the illusion of suspense.

King Hippo

Donks faithful know how drunk Prater is by now…

makeitsnowondem

Why, the man’s had at least a beer!

Sill Bimmons

There’s a doins’ a transpirin’!!!

King Hippo

Fat Boy, fucking up Jim Bob’s PERFECTLY DESIGNED PLAY

entropy

Jim Bob Cooter: Offensive Mastermind has a certain ring to it.

WCS

So.. blocked field goal for Packers touchdown?

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

It’s been done.

Sill Bimmons

I just want to be loved.

Doktor Zymm

**hugs**

entropy

Stop being so needy.

King Hippo

But Sill, love is a lie, designed to trick us into propogating the species…

WCS

comment image

Dunstan
Senor Weaselo

Did you listen to the concert last year? I’m pretty sure I sent it to you at that old place.

King Hippo

Julius Peppers, mega-asshole

Doktor Zymm

YES. THANK YOU TO WHOEVER SHOWED SOME COACHES SOME BASIC 4th DOWN STATS.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Ah, but the more teams go for it, the lower the success rate is likely to creep, suddenly making it A Bad Decision again

Doktor Zymm

THAT IS NOT HOW STATISTICS WORK

Doktor Zymm

Addendum : CORRECT stats

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

You expect the success rate to remain static once it becomes more common and defenses start practicing and game-planning for it? Consider the Wildcat

Doktor Zymm

No, I don’t, but if the original stats were done correctly (probably not) then it would account for that. Even so, the results were overwhelming enough and recent enough that we can ignore that and resume our yelling at the TV.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Jesus, it’s like Dr. Mrs. Mayhem is here instead of halfway around the world….

She is a great proponent of Proper Usage of Advanced Statistical Methods, whereas I argue that the assumptions plus human error create a false sense of confidence. And that it is Devil Majick.

Doktor Zymm

I think I would like your wife. I give it a 97.64583% chance.