AP’s “More NFC East Action Than You Can Shake A Stick At!” Open Thread

Dal @ Was: Thursday and Sunday featured wondrous Hail Mary’s, brain-shattering upsets, fingernail-biting excitement, win-streak-extending blow-outs, a clearly inferior team beating the Giants in overtime and some other things. If you want more of that this evening, boy/girl, did you ever come to the wrong place! Quite frankly, I question your judgement. The Slurs are 5-1 at home because they get a lot of support from their obviously racist fan base. It’s called math-look it up. That being said, if the Slurs can contain the running game that would mean that a certain washed-up, turnover-prone, in-over-his-head, doesn’t-know-what-he’s-doing, never-will-be-a-starter-again, stares-at-his-first-option, win-less-at-this-point, will-fumble-at-some-point, dump-pass-loving Matt Cassell will have to be a difference-maker. [snorts]

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I’m surprised that they are surprised something involving the [*Redacted] s isn’t functional.

Doktor Zymm

NO PLAYBOOKS FOR ANYONE!!

litre_cola

Might improve things.

Doktor Zymm

Can’t hurt.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Thank jesus, it’s finally over.

First quarter? That was only one quarter?

CURSE YOU, VENGEFUL GOD!

Gatoraids

Applause for a fair catch at the 20 looking real good gus

WCS

A 45 minute first quarter with a combined nine punts and two first downs.

litre_cola

NFC EAST! Catch the fever!

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Dengue Hemmoragic Fever!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I like that this first quarter ended the exact same way it began: the game tied 0-0 and the [*Redacted] s with the ball at their own 20-yard line.

jjfozz

THIS GAME, I CALL IT OUR GOVERNMENT, BECAUSE TWO SIDES THAT I HATE ARE WASTING MY TIME AND NOT ACCOMPLISHING ANYTHING

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

My new favorite twitter is @GayJordan23

I’m dying at some of these tweets.

King Hippo

The 1st quarter has been euthanized

BrettFavresColonoscopy

/pours out NOTHING

John Difool

I’m pretty sure a drive-in movie could be projected onto Terrance Knighton’s ass.

Gratliff

This is so bad. I don’t even know if I want this game to decide if the Eagles make the playoffs.

litre_cola

By any means possible. Any means possible Grat

makeitsnowondem

Gentlemen.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Not for long. If this keeps going, we’re breaking out the hard drugs.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Listening to this on radio. Is there such thing as earbleach?

Redshirt

Before anyone asks:

Most Punts, Game
16 Leo Araguz, Oakland vs. San Diego, Oct. 11, 1998

makeitsnowondem

I’m ready to witness history.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Do you think Josh Gordon is jealous that Terence Knighton owns the nickname “Pot Roast”?

King Hippo

everybody just keeps a-goin backwards

Sill Bimmons

hell’s bells

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

If the NFL gets rid of hitting…. I would still watch it if it were flag football

WCS

Please stop giving Goodell ideas.

His Right Honorable Lord Lordship the Lordly

Patriots definitely will do that tuck the flag in their pants move

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Mmmmmm… I’d love to find it on Gronk-A-Donk

Gratliff

We need a 2-0 game here.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I think my uber driver just farted.

Still stinks less than the NFC east.

John Difool

Stinks less than Aqua-Velva and curry…. that says it all.

Sill Bimmons

REDTAILS BAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH0IWHBEKJRTEJHRBTOJHWRJHVFQOWEUHRTVOJWH ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT NOW IS THE HORRIBILITY

Doktor Zymm

Sorry.

King Hippo

You could think about DUCKTAILS instead. That was a thing?

Sill Bimmons

Duckman.

THAT was a thing!

comment image

I feel marginally better.

Gratliff
Redshirt

Sill has gone bye-bye.

entropy

Egon, what’ve you got?

Sill Bimmons

I’m terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought.

jjfozz

Also, my favorite all time grandmom passed away 27 years ago today.

She was awesome – an excellent cook, funny lady, loved Budweiser, smoked Tareytons, taught me a little Italian, and brought up a family in tough times through sheer will, tenacity, and Old World stubborness.

She also endured living with an absolute lunatic who would be right at home here with the DFO. (He was convinced every game ever played in the NFL was rigged.)

litre_cola

Condolences Fozz.

Yeah that guy sounds like was on to something.

Redshirt

Someone wake the Chain Gang up.

John Difool

FIRST DOWN, GAME OVER

litre_cola

Writes Game over in notebook and shakes fist on lawn at those damn kids.

Sill Bimmons

STREWTH

entropy

Faith and begorrah?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

CROWD: [sarcastic cheering]

entropy

Instead of the wave, a wanking motion goes around the stadium.

WCS

A first down?! FINISH YOUR LIQUOR CABINET

Doktor Zymm

A FIRST DOWN! INSURMOUNTABLE LEAD! GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE!

King Hippo

Yep, all good.

WCS

Today is the 74th anniversary.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

+ Bill Parcells’s admiration

Sill Bimmons

Dastardly Japs Attack Colonially Occupied US Non-State

ThursdaySkyGoddess

First……down?

Redshirt

Well it makes sense that this is all punts. You know why? Because its football! Right? FOOTball. Am I right? I mean…

I’ll just be over here.

entropy

Go sit in the corner and think about what you did.

litre_cola

That, well that , that is something.

Sill Bimmons

hoo boy

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

A good title for this game would be “A-punt-alypse Now”.

John Difool

Puntoon

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Lemony Snicket’s Series of Unfortunate Events

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Born on the Fourth and Out

Does Snyder place a surcharge for ticket holders whenever the tarps go up on the seating?

Sill Bimmons

He builds it into the beer price.

Doktor Zymm

New rule. First team to get a first down wins.

jjfozz

Or psychotics, like that dude driving his son with the dripping ice cream cone.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Sounding like Bill Maher

Redshirt

Still ends in a tie game.

King Hippo

I think BEERGH vs. BLEERGH may ultimately be the world’s Sunni vs. Shi’a

Sill Bimmons

I’m on the side of Imam Ali, whichever side that is.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Which side is Muhammed Ali on?

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

A complete offshoot that has relatively little to do with Beergh or Bleergh, but uses their names and wear little flag-yellow cravats at their necks

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Bleergh 4 Lyfe.

entropy

When does Fargo start?

King Hippo

10, I think. I can only watch that stuff in the morning/afternoon, or my mind runs and I can’t sleep.

Can’t wait to see how many crackers Mike Milligan kills, though.

entropy

I know what you mean…. the show is pretty freakin’ good for being based off what was probably just a crime story lark by the Coen Bros.

And Mike Milligan is every bit as good as Billy Bob from S01, in my opinion.

Sill Bimmons

I love how these Navy Federal ads bring us ever closer to our men and women in uniform by making them seem like emotionless robots.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

They ran out of Cardinals’ fans and had to use Kurt Warner?

Doktor Zymm

My nerves are slowly unwinding into boredom. If the game keeps on like this I will have no problem with my “go to bed at halftime” resolution.

jjfozz

Nope, you have to take the pain, just like that guy in Platoon with the hot shrapnel embedded in his back. Sorry.

WCS

John Difool
jjfozz

This is better than a root canal
comment image

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Man Mark Chmura thinks she is cute! Oh she just got out of precalc? He wants to marry her.

King Hippo

Trent Green feels bad for Sean Lee. Then he asks the refrigerator if he’d like another piece of pie.

JustStopDude

Quick…trivia at the bar I live above….what is the 5th mathematical step of the neutron life cycle?

I said “i before e unless after c”.

Is that correct?!?

JustStopDude

Okay…I am getting I should have put a pic of a hot chick…IS THAT THE RIGHT ANSWER?!?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You fool, it’s “I’m just burning.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8Y-9YSBB9s

blordinaryfagicmox

I think it’s precipitation.

John Difool

2nd and 18…..lets run it….

WCS

FRAGS – six
First downs – one

The NFC East, ladies and gentleshits!

King Hippo

THEY CAN UP THAT RATIO

Sill Bimmons

/engages capslock AND DISENGAGES PUNCTUATION

KSK SARAH NEVER TOOK ME UP ON MY AOTC IS THE WORST THING EVER CHALLENGE IF ANY OF YOU KNOW HER ON TWITTER PLEASE REMIND HER OF THIS I WILL DEBATE HER ANYTIME ANYWHERE IN ANY FORUM IF YOURE GOING TO BRING BULLSHIT LIKE THAT YOUD BEST BE PREPARED TO BACK IT UP BRING ME YOUR WEAK AOTC NOISE SARAH BRING IT BRING IT BRING IT

//DISENGAGES CAPSLOCK and engages punctuation

Col. Duke LaCross

What is AOTC?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Anal/Oral Toronto Chapter, of whom yours truly is president.

King Hippo

NOW THAT is gold, Jerry. GOLD!!!

Sill Bimmons

Attack Of The Clones.

The worst movie ever made.

WCS

Sill Bimmons

You were there.

entropy

Wait, someone DEFENDED AOTC?!

Sill Bimmons

Sarah from the old blog said she would debate me on its merits.

Then she went away and we never saw her again.

Hmmm….

King Hippo

GLORIOUS BLEERGH, we are but your instrument on Earth

entropy

Gruden just pointed out they are trying run a pick play, without mentioning pick plays are illegal. Fuck that bowl cut asshole.

litre_cola

“You rang?” – Mark Davis

hippofant

Honestly, it’s debatable whether pick plays are illegal any more, given it seems like every other team runs them now.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

I was rushing doing stuff thinking I would miss something. I don’t know why I thought that.

jjfozz
Redshirt

At least its not Home Alone 3. I watched that once on cable. It tried, it really did, but it just sucked and blew concurrently.