Dal @ Was: Thursday and Sunday featured wondrous Hail Mary’s, brain-shattering upsets, fingernail-biting excitement, win-streak-extending blow-outs, a clearly inferior team beating the Giants in overtime and some other things. If you want more of that this evening, boy/girl, did you ever come to the wrong place! Quite frankly, I question your judgement. The Slurs are 5-1 at home because they get a lot of support from their obviously racist fan base. It’s called math-look it up. That being said, if the Slurs can contain the running game that would mean that a certain washed-up, turnover-prone, in-over-his-head, doesn’t-know-what-he’s-doing, never-will-be-a-starter-again, stares-at-his-first-option, win-less-at-this-point, will-fumble-at-some-point, dump-pass-loving Matt Cassell will have to be a difference-maker. [snorts]
http://www.pivnica.net/ieNews/slike/n_1500.jpg
I’m surprised that they are surprised something involving the [*Redacted] s isn’t functional.
NO PLAYBOOKS FOR ANYONE!!
Might improve things.
Can’t hurt.
Thank jesus, it’s finally over.
First quarter? That was only one quarter?
CURSE YOU, VENGEFUL GOD!
Applause for a fair catch at the 20 looking real good gus
A 45 minute first quarter with a combined nine punts and two first downs.
NFC EAST! Catch the fever!
Dengue Hemmoragic Fever!
I like that this first quarter ended the exact same way it began: the game tied 0-0 and the [*Redacted] s with the ball at their own 20-yard line.
THIS GAME, I CALL IT OUR GOVERNMENT, BECAUSE TWO SIDES THAT I HATE ARE WASTING MY TIME AND NOT ACCOMPLISHING ANYTHING
My new favorite twitter is @GayJordan23
I’m dying at some of these tweets.
The 1st quarter has been euthanized
/pours out NOTHING
I’m pretty sure a drive-in movie could be projected onto Terrance Knighton’s ass.
This is so bad. I don’t even know if I want this game to decide if the Eagles make the playoffs.
By any means possible. Any means possible Grat
Gentlemen.
Not for long. If this keeps going, we’re breaking out the hard drugs.
Listening to this on radio. Is there such thing as earbleach?
Before anyone asks:
Most Punts, Game
16 Leo Araguz, Oakland vs. San Diego, Oct. 11, 1998
I’m ready to witness history.
Do you think Josh Gordon is jealous that Terence Knighton owns the nickname “Pot Roast”?
everybody just keeps a-goin backwards
hell’s bells
If the NFL gets rid of hitting…. I would still watch it if it were flag football
Please stop giving Goodell ideas.
Patriots definitely will do that tuck the flag in their pants move
Mmmmmm… I’d love to find it on Gronk-A-Donk
We need a 2-0 game here.
I think my uber driver just farted.
Still stinks less than the NFC east.
Stinks less than Aqua-Velva and curry…. that says it all.
REDTAILS BAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH0IWHBEKJRTEJHRBTOJHWRJHVFQOWEUHRTVOJWH ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT NOW IS THE HORRIBILITY
Sorry.
You could think about DUCKTAILS instead. That was a thing?
Duckman.
THAT was a thing!
I feel marginally better.
YOU THRUST YOUR PELVIS! UH! http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view3/1755566/duckman-dance-o.gif
Sill has gone bye-bye.
Egon, what’ve you got?
I’m terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought.
“Did somebody say oxtails?”
http://a1.fssta.com/content/dam/fsdigital/RSN/Midwest/2014/06/05/PI-NFL-Chiefs-Andy-Reid-060514.vadapt.620.high.7.jpg
Also, my favorite all time grandmom passed away 27 years ago today.
She was awesome – an excellent cook, funny lady, loved Budweiser, smoked Tareytons, taught me a little Italian, and brought up a family in tough times through sheer will, tenacity, and Old World stubborness.
She also endured living with an absolute lunatic who would be right at home here with the DFO. (He was convinced every game ever played in the NFL was rigged.)
Condolences Fozz.
Yeah that guy sounds like was on to something.
Someone wake the Chain Gang up.
FIRST DOWN, GAME OVER
Writes Game over in notebook and shakes fist on lawn at those damn kids.
STREWTH
Faith and begorrah?
CROWD: [sarcastic cheering]
Instead of the wave, a wanking motion goes around the stadium.
A first down?! FINISH YOUR LIQUOR CABINET
A FIRST DOWN! INSURMOUNTABLE LEAD! GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE!
Yep, all good.
Is this Pearl Harbour stuff coming right out of the blue for no reason whatsoever or am I mistaken?
Today is the 74th anniversary.
+ Bill Parcells’s admiration
Dastardly Japs Attack Colonially Occupied US Non-State
First……down?
http://49.media.tumblr.com/3cf3fccfceae596ae098349b88cf6254/tumblr_n1jgptWiYM1sykpjyo4_400.gif
Well it makes sense that this is all punts. You know why? Because its football! Right? FOOTball. Am I right? I mean…
I’ll just be over here.
Go sit in the corner and think about what you did.
That, well that , that is something.
hoo boy
A good title for this game would be “A-punt-alypse Now”.
Puntoon
Lemony Snicket’s Series of Unfortunate Events
Born on the Fourth and Out
Does Snyder place a surcharge for ticket holders whenever the tarps go up on the seating?
He builds it into the beer price.
New rule. First team to get a first down wins.
Or psychotics, like that dude driving his son with the dripping ice cream cone.
Sounding like Bill Maher
Still ends in a tie game.
I think BEERGH vs. BLEERGH may ultimately be the world’s Sunni vs. Shi’a
I’m on the side of Imam Ali, whichever side that is.
Which side is Muhammed Ali on?
A complete offshoot that has relatively little to do with Beergh or Bleergh, but uses their names and wear little flag-yellow cravats at their necks
Bleergh 4 Lyfe.
When does Fargo start?
10, I think. I can only watch that stuff in the morning/afternoon, or my mind runs and I can’t sleep.
Can’t wait to see how many crackers Mike Milligan kills, though.
I know what you mean…. the show is pretty freakin’ good for being based off what was probably just a crime story lark by the Coen Bros.
And Mike Milligan is every bit as good as Billy Bob from S01, in my opinion.
I love how these Navy Federal ads bring us ever closer to our men and women in uniform by making them seem like emotionless robots.
They ran out of Cardinals’ fans and had to use Kurt Warner?
My nerves are slowly unwinding into boredom. If the game keeps on like this I will have no problem with my “go to bed at halftime” resolution.
Nope, you have to take the pain, just like that guy in Platoon with the hot shrapnel embedded in his back. Sorry.
http://www.destgulch.com/movies/platoon/plat09.jpg
This is better than a root canal
Man Mark Chmura thinks she is cute! Oh she just got out of precalc? He wants to marry her.
Trent Green feels bad for Sean Lee. Then he asks the refrigerator if he’d like another piece of pie.
Quick…trivia at the bar I live above….what is the 5th mathematical step of the neutron life cycle?
I said “i before e unless after c”.
Is that correct?!?
Okay…I am getting I should have put a pic of a hot chick…IS THAT THE RIGHT ANSWER?!?
You fool, it’s “I’m just burning.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8Y-9YSBB9s
JOHN DOS PASSOS!
I think it’s precipitation.
2nd and 18…..lets run it….
FRAGS – six
First downs – one
The NFC East, ladies and gentleshits!
THEY CAN UP THAT RATIO
/engages capslock AND DISENGAGES PUNCTUATION
KSK SARAH NEVER TOOK ME UP ON MY AOTC IS THE WORST THING EVER CHALLENGE IF ANY OF YOU KNOW HER ON TWITTER PLEASE REMIND HER OF THIS I WILL DEBATE HER ANYTIME ANYWHERE IN ANY FORUM IF YOURE GOING TO BRING BULLSHIT LIKE THAT YOUD BEST BE PREPARED TO BACK IT UP BRING ME YOUR WEAK AOTC NOISE SARAH BRING IT BRING IT BRING IT
//DISENGAGES CAPSLOCK and engages punctuation
What is AOTC?
Anal/Oral Toronto Chapter, of whom yours truly is president.
NOW THAT is gold, Jerry. GOLD!!!
Attack Of The Clones.
The worst movie ever made.
You were there.
Wait, someone DEFENDED AOTC?!
Sarah from the old blog said she would debate me on its merits.
Then she went away and we never saw her again.
Hmmm….
GLORIOUS BLEERGH, we are but your instrument on Earth
Gruden just pointed out they are trying run a pick play, without mentioning pick plays are illegal. Fuck that bowl cut asshole.
“You rang?” – Mark Davis
Honestly, it’s debatable whether pick plays are illegal any more, given it seems like every other team runs them now.
I was rushing doing stuff thinking I would miss something. I don’t know why I thought that.
Because my kids are making me watch Home Alone
http://40.media.tumblr.com/a4d615c6ebf34692878529427609a39d/tumblr_nwhngvNESX1uo0ro8o1_1280.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v74/Nickasinsaltlick/HitItWhitey.jpg
At least its not Home Alone 3. I watched that once on cable. It tried, it really did, but it just sucked and blew concurrently.