AP’s “More NFC East Action Than You Can Shake A Stick At!” Open Thread

Dal @ Was: Thursday and Sunday featured wondrous Hail Mary’s, brain-shattering upsets, fingernail-biting excitement, win-streak-extending blow-outs, a clearly inferior team beating the Giants in overtime and some other things. If you want more of that this evening, boy/girl, did you ever come to the wrong place! Quite frankly, I question your judgement. The Slurs are 5-1 at home because they get a lot of support from their obviously racist fan base. It’s called math-look it up. That being said, if the Slurs can contain the running game that would mean that a certain washed-up, turnover-prone, in-over-his-head, doesn’t-know-what-he’s-doing, never-will-be-a-starter-again, stares-at-his-first-option, win-less-at-this-point, will-fumble-at-some-point, dump-pass-loving Matt Cassell will have to be a difference-maker. [snorts]

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litre_cola

So missed field goal?

litre_cola

Nailed it.

makeitsnowondem

Am I that far behind?

makeitsnowondem

guess not lol

Senor Weaselo

So the computer didn’t break! Thank goodness.

blackroseMD1

I stopped watching at halftime, so I have no idea how in the hell Sean Lee has 11 fantasy points and Dez has none.

Oh, wait…Matt Cassell. That’s right.

Sill Bimmons

IF I MAY CONTINUE ABOUT GEO LUCAS STAR WARS ET AL WHY THE FUCK WAS RETURN OF THE JEDI TWO SEPARATE FILMS ITS AS IF THE REAL FILMMAKERS ON THE JOB WERE LIKE LOOK LETS HAVE AN AWESOME JEDI/EMPIRE TATTOOINE BATTLE THAT FOLLOWED THE DESTRUCTION OF JABBAS SAIL BARGE AND THEN CONTINUE THE AMAZING HOTH SCENE IN A SEPARATE FILM AND LUCAS WAS LIKE NAH LETS GO WITH THE TEDDY BEARS IN THE FOREST

http://ih1.redbubble.net/image.10525464.7181/fc,550×550,black.jpg

makeitsnowondem

God dammit. The one night I do a rant and Sill’s is still better than mine.

makeitsnowondem

sorry for the twitter rant

Sill Bimmons

you didn’t do that

JustStopDude

Wait!

Are you Donald Trump!?!?

You got my girlfriend freaking out you DICK!!!!

King Hippo

make it snow is EVERYONE

makeitsnowondem

What, does she own Amazon stock?

JustStopDude

Muslim…she is legitimately terrified she is going to end up in a camp…

makeitsnowondem

She won’t. As much as Trump worries me for his unparalleled potential to incite street violence, he’ll never be President.

The Maestro

SEE THE THING ABOUT DEMOCRACY IS THAT IT’S OVERRATED AND FASCISM IS ACTUALLY GOOD. YOU SHEEPLE NEED TO WAKE UP AND REALIZE THAT THIS IS AMERICA’S CENTURY RIGHT NOW

TheJonesest

I see the Rangers-Nationals game is going exactly as planned.

Brick Meathook

I HOPE THERE IS ANOTHER FIELD GOAL

hippofant

God yes. We should have overtime, just to punish Dallas and Washington fans.

The Maestro

Sounds great! Sign me up!

Recovery Whiskey

+1 mothers’ little helper

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

vvvvvvv reply fail vvvvvvv

JustStopDude

Drove out to the Ghetto sheetz…apparently Ted Koppel is on Coast to Coast AM and telling people to stock pile hair to trade with Amish people in the advent that ISIL fires an EMP in the upper atmosphere….

Or I could be tripping balls…not sure which…someone check….

litre_cola

This game is atrocious. Yesterday was so good, and now this donkey punch. Yet here I am, watching.

King Hippo

It’s like we feel we owe them for yesterday, maybe?

Moonbatting Average

GODDAMMIT YOU NITWITS CAN’T YOU SEE THAT A HALLOWED TRADITION HAS BEEN SULLIED AND TRAMPLED AND WHORED OUT AND THIS IS WHAT WE ARE LEFT WITH OF COURSE I AM TALKING ABOUT THIS PERVERSION OF THE GAME OF FOOTBALL I’M NOT TROLLING SILL AT ALL

hippofant

He’s averaging TWO YARDS A CARRY, Gruden. At what point do you stop fellating him?!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OLD SCHOOL ZERO; YOU NO LIKE BELGIAN WAFFLE JOKE?!?!?
BELGIAN WAFFLE JOKE!
BELGIAN WAFFLE JOKE!
BELGIAN WAFFLE JOKE!
BELGIAN WAFFLE JOKE!
BELGIAN WAFFLE JOKE!
BELGIAN WAFFLE JOKE!

Old School Zero

I DO!
I DO!
I DO!
I DO!
I DO!
I DO!
I DO!
I DO!
I DO!

Old School Zero

make it snow’s current twitter rant against trump is more entertaining and educational than this game.

MikeWallaceAndGromit

Well, this shit show of a game has given me the opportunity to finish a Flag Gods post. And let me tell you, I like this one.

Moonbatting Average

is it BEERGH or BLEERGH we must know

WCS

I’d rather watch this game than the Point Break remake.

King Hippo

Shit, I would re-watch this game every night this week first.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

+57 THERE, MY MAN!!

King Hippo

Claymation Lily is annoying as fuck. Someone had to say it.

Recovery Whiskey

She needs claymation Trey and Matt to show up and do things

Gratliff

This game ends with 3 FGs in OT.

Sill Bimmons
Doktor Zymm

6-9

Hehe.

The Maestro

Now we just need 420 yards of total offence for the circle to be complete.

Luck for Suck

What is this “off-fence” of which you speak?

Doktor Zymm

Fine. I’ll watch until the end of this drive.

Also, I don’t get why it’s illegal to have a non-clear handbag, but you can totally wear a helmet to watch the game.

King Hippo

AND you can wear pants. Pants are just a non-clear handbag you wrap around your genitalia ,, ppl forget that

BrettFavresColonoscopy

A helmet does hide tampons from view better.

Old School Zero

Mike Carey just weighed in and said that pizza is a sandwich.

Sill Bimmons

All pizzas are open-faced sandwiches NO ONE DENIES THIS

Old School Zero

Also, thinly sliced smoked duck is magical on pizza. Even just a little.

Or even a lot.

Doktor Zymm

That sounds fantastic. I bet confited duck leg would be good too…

Old School Zero

It’s super good, but I’ve used it sort of like anchovies–a little here or there to salt/fat it up. It’s waffer theen so it nearly melts away and just flavors everything else. It’s exceeded my improvisational hopes for having it on pizza.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

There’s a place in Houston with a duck confit pizza that is amazeballs.

Sill Bimmons

Never had it as a pizza or sandwich at Le Petit Canard.

King Hippo

You can get that in Oregon? FUCK IT, I will rob a bank or ten, I movin’ there.

Old School Zero

You come to Portland, and I will make you pizza, give you beer/cocktails, and watch football. THAT’S A PROMISE.

Sill Bimmons

I mean, do you even remember Attack Of The Clones?

When you said, “The first one was so unbelievably retarded, how can the second one be any worse?”

And then it was?

I mean, like SO MUCH FUCKING WORSE?

http://www.trulytruly.net/uploads/1/4/0/2/14029444/9904411_orig.jpg

Gratliff

Attack of the Clones without Hayden Christensen acting is a very watchable movie.

Sill Bimmons

Shame about that hour of the running time.

And everything that came before and after.

Spur

The clones saved the Jedi, they attached the wasp dudes. The title makes no sense.

Sill Bimmons

NONE OF IT MAKES ANY SENSE

litre_cola

Remember this game on a dreary Monday in June.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Bold prediction: this game ends on a Matt Cassell pick 6

The Maestro

I’m gonna raise you and say it ends on a Kirk Cousins pick-six.

Doktor Zymm

Cassel pick, followed by a Matt Jones fumble, followed by a McFadden fumble, followed by everyone giving up, taking their ball and going home.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Man, I’m glad I expected the Skins to blow out Dallas.

Doktor Zymm

The only thing the Skins ever blow out is knees.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

And racial sensitivity

King Hippo

Yeah, I’ma sit on the couch with my buddy and watch another man shave. Totes not gay at all.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Depends on what he’s shaving.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That is fucking great…. so to speak.

hippofant

Moose, who was the redhead in the gif you posted 15 minutes ago?

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

It was a cat.

hippofant

That was the JPG!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

A beautiful actress Emily Browning?

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0115161/

hippofant

Yatta! Danke.

King Hippo

I know what my nightmares shall contain tonight!

Recovery Whiskey

For anyone still watching Dallas tied it 6-6

The Maestro

DON’T CAAAAAAAAAAARE

Sill Bimmons

If you can’t recognize George Lucas as the fuckwit who took your childhood memories and flushed them down a fucking honeybucket…

http://www.laughroulette.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/wtf-honey-bucket-porta-potty.jpg

Sill Bimmons

BEING MODERATED HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

BrettFavresColonoscopy

One of the Winslows should dedicate his life to finding Witten catches to overturn and get him under 1000

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Carl would suffice

Old School Zero

Oh man. Belgian-style Christmas ale. So good.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

YOU NO LIKE BELGIAN WAFFLE JOKE?!?!?

Doktor Zymm

It is 9:30. I will leave the game on while I brush my teeth. NO MORE.

Redshirt

That won’t get the taste of this game out of your mouth.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

10pm Zymm “One bourbon will help me fall asleep”

Doktor Zymm

My toothpaste is actually super tasty.

King Hippo

You know you won;t sleep anyway, just wondering what is happening.

Brick Meathook

THIS GAME IS VERY EXCITING. I SHALL PURCHASE THE PRODUCTS OF ALL THE ADVERTISERS.

King Hippo

BLEERGH <3 CasselVANIA

Sill Bimmons

When you first sat down for The Phantom Menace, do you remember how you felt?

When this fucking happened with John Williams fanfare FUCKING BLARING

comment image

Uh, wut?

Taxation…of…trade…routes…?

What the motherFUCKING fuck?

Is this Star Wars or a Senate committee meeting?

Gatoraids

Mitochlrorians filibusted the quorum

Spur

Episode I
The Menacing Benghazi

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Episode XIII The Ewoks Invoke the Congressional Review Act to Undo Executive Action

Redshirt

Episode IX: The Sith Invokes Cloture

Spur

Episode XX: The Coruscant Park Closure Review

King Hippo

Why would I ever go see a movie every person in the universe said was fucking terrible?

Sill Bimmons

Because you were 20 when The Phantom Menace was released?

Redshirt

True story. When the scroll appeared, I heard a hush mummering like the audience was reading it to themselves to see if they were reading it correctly.

Gratliff

I try to block out everything from episode I that wasn’t the climactic lightsaber fight. Duel of the Fates on top of Darth Maul remains the hottest of shit.

Sill Bimmons

People will say, “What? Who? Where?”

“What trade routes?”

“When has this ever been established as a point of conflict?”

Then….

“Where is Naboo and why do I care?”

“Why is this racist cartoon rabbit leading us away from our target?”

“Was this written by a human?”

et&c…

Recovery Whiskey

Injuries galore on this turf. Or maybe players on two dead-end teams just getting an early start on the holidays.

Moonbatting Average

B(L)EERGH SHALL REASSERT HIS DOMINANCE

litre_cola

Went away for an hour. I see I missed puntkakkee?

Doktor Zymm

Quinton Dunbar has played at corner since September, and had his first career interception in the Giants game last week. He’s actually been playing pretty damn well at the position, which is incredibly impressive seeing as corner is a position that usually takes a couple seasons for people to get used to playing at the pro level, even when they played the spot in college. Also, his name starts with ‘Q’ which is one of my favorite letters. Go Quinton!

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

And his last name is of one the most historic high schools in DC.

Sill Bimmons

MY ANGER AT YOU FUCKWITS KNOWS AS MANY BOUNDS AS GEORGE LUCAS

PLEASE JOIN MY RAGEGASM

comment image

WCS

[continues to sit quietly in the corner]

litre_cola

/shakes fist in front yard

Gratliff

Speaking of Idris Elba, Luther special event next week on BBC/America! That show is so fucking good.

JustStopDude

Holy shit I never realize how fucking expense pizza delivery has gotten…

I just want a Cheese Pizza without risking a DUI…apparently that is almost $20….

Sill Bimmons

Dough == Dough

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Diarrhea Until Interception

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Oh and for those who don’t know where my name is from, this is my favorite BC monologue.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmJWCRDZYw8

Gatoraids

Given my dad would walk through in the room during this sketch or the virtual buddy one growing up

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Mmmmmm… was your dad Mario, the 45 year old Montreal imbecile I had a fling with when I was 13?

Recovery Whiskey

I’m sure all those flocking to the fleshpots of Bangkok are there for the food.

Recovery Whiskey

Probably better than your dad laughing a little too hard at “Daddy drank”

King Hippo

The lesbian softball team manager sketch is my favourite BC.

“It had attitude.”