![[DOOR FLIES OPEN]](https://doorfliesopen.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/DFO-MC-Patch.png)
NYG @ Mia: Having lost 4 of their last 5 the Giants are sending notice to the rest of the NFC East that as far as the championship of the division is concerned, they’re in this for the long run. The Fins are responding with, “Playoffs?, Playoffs?” Literally dozens of fantasy wins are on the line tonight. Shall we watch? Yes we shall…
Your Monday Night Open Thread
Subscribe
Please login to comment
488 Comments
Fuck I just realized this game was still on…
You’re right! The stream I was watching froze ten minutes ago and I didn’t even realize it.
I think Coughlin spent more time looking for his retirement home in this area than game planned this week.
“Look at this, Martha. Shady Springs has a 4 o’clock early-bird six-once sirloin every day for $4.99!”
Shit, I’d move there.
Don’t need a lot of planning to win the NFC East.
Fuck me. But hopefully the fact that Miami has a kicker from RPI, the school in the city that is the boil, on the cist, that is ass Albany!Ny.
USE CIALIS AND YOU CAN FUCK THAT OLD GAL RIGHT THERE ON THE DANCE FLOOR
Can someone remind me how much ESPN paid for the rights for MNF? I need a good laugh.
More than many nations GDP. Multiple times over.
The Dolphins really blew up JPP’s defense
BOOM!
*high three 1/2*
Scoring in the Ho-Jo!!!
http://www.welcometoalville.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/ho-jo.jpg
Don Draper likes this comment.
Hedley Lamardown!
“We’re also working on a special chemical that dissolves hippies.”
– ExxonMobil
You mean acetone?
“We’ve been working on it since 1965, but we’ll figure it out next year.’
Deodorant?
Who da fuck has time to put a bow on a fucking car!?!?
That end zone looks like a Howard Johnson’s
YES! I knew it was something, but couldn’t quite place it.
I was wondering why Nate Newton was fucking a hooker in the end zone.
Is the politics gone yet?
Not for another 11 months
We’re not debating the merits of progressive taxation until the 3rd quarter ,, smh
THANKS #NOBAMA
FUCK YOU YOU SOCALIST NAZIS FUCK!!!
HEY,, JUST SUPORT ARE TROOPS… SMH!!! #TCOT
The only way this game will be interesting to me is if there are a total of 16 turnovers.
Well Elisha is good for 3 himself on a good day.
NFLLLLLLLLL BLITZ!!!!! 2000!!!
Well I’ll go to Arby’s and get 8 of those 16.
Let the derping commence!
And HERP it shall.
guessing the reservoir is bottomless
Sweet! Just in time for some LOLphins fuckery!
Are you ready for some mediocre football!!??
MAYBE!
UME
I assume other than Jest and NFl east fans, I’m looking in your general direction Zymm, we’re all rooting for the Gints to get a wonderful Pats Schanfreude day.
“Throwbacks? Oh, I thought you said something else.”
– Riley Cooper, setting down an African-American dwarf
I never thought this Dolphins uni should’ve been revised.
Needs more teal.
-nobody
Well that was painful. On that note my sleeping pug woke up and barked at the TV.
My pug has great musical taste apparently.
Dan Marino’s not singing
INSTRUMENTAL ANTHEMS!!!!
I would enjoy if Mercury Morris played this game and got clubbed by JPP.
Dat QB is dead.
Director: Mister Ditka, Shula is retired.
Ditka: Marino too!?
Director: (puts shotgun into his mouth)
Matron’s looking better than ever
She’s got the Linda Cohn sports genes.
This commercial featuring the random poor kids who act like they are football players got me thinking…it would kind of be cool if each team was required to have a small child play a child at a randomly decided position. All other rules normal.
Then the question comes…would you see a defense trying to get an easy sack on a 13 year old QB, risking the world seeing them kill a child? HELL YEAH!!!!
Howdy Internet friends. How are we all this evening?
THANKS OBAMA
Shenanigans.
“That Dolphin’s defense sure looks MIA”
-Joke I’m going to get drunk and tell 20 times tonight.
I am glad to have no real vested interest in this game.
I’m just here for the gif induced seizures! And the drinking!
http://45.media.tumblr.com/8fc339dba31ed10df1d3644c1cf81c58/tumblr_ngjjh0BOB21syvjuco1_500.gif
But it’s an even throwier-back uniform now with a slightly skinnier dolphin!
The original works soooo much better as a perpetual gif than any others. Example:
http://49.media.tumblr.com/cf5988ed46a82438aedacc0ed4dfde79/tumblr_n6vd9lXErl1syvjuco1_250.gif
Pictured: the only person with a vested interest in this game.
http://www4.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/Jim+Tressel+Allstate+Sugar+Bowl+Ohio+State+Emty9lfeALPl.jpg
Get out of my brain!
Jim Tressel is disappointed in this comment
Some days…nothing goes right…
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view/302704/bad-day-at-work-o.gif
My prediction and stone cold lock for this game…
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view2/1807368/bad-day-at-work-o.gif
I like how the other guy just got the hell out of there.
I imagine he was fired afterwards.
Is that why my Amazon order is 4 days late?
A reminder that we get TWO TNF games this week! Don’t be all jelly, laws of time and space.
Instead of watching this shit show of a game, I think I’m gonna make beef sirloin tip stew for tomorrow, and havarti bacon burgers with pan fried potatoes for dinner tonight.
There’s more exciting action in my kitchen/grill than on the field, is what I’m saying here.
There’s more exciting action than tonight’s game in my bathroom, but you don’t hear ME bragging about it!
Sounds delicious, though…
You are a god damned monster for sharing that with us with no opportunity to share it with us. Wait, are you within a few hours of Appleton? I will drive
This is the emergency turkey dinner I made for my first Thanksgiving in the UK:
1 lb turkey cutlets, julienned
1 lb diced bacon or bulk sausage
2 large onions, diced
4 large celery stalks, diced, save the tops
1 can Stove Top stuffing mix
2 packets Knorr Turkey Gravy mix
Brown bacon/sausage in cast-iron skillet, do not drain. Add half the onion and celery, the celery tops, the gravy mix, 4 cups of water and 2 pints of good ale/bitter. Bring to a boil and simmer for 10 minutes, stirring often. Let cool slightly and add the rest of the celery and onion and the stuffing mix. Let sit for 30 minutes then reheat in oven at 325 for 15 minutes, broiling the last 5. You’ll be amazed how good this is.
Fry the turkey with the bacon/sausage and drippings in between browning & adding the gravy stuff.
How do you get cutlets and how do you julienne them? Just ask the butcher to do it for you?
The cutlets are just for sale in 1 lb packages, thinly slice them against the grain to julienne.
You’re basically making a giant cast-iron skillet turkey casserole.
Since we’re getting political up in heeerre, can anyone explain Trump’s strategy? I’ve read various opinions ranging from 1) He’s trolling the electoral process and didn’t think he would get this far. He was simply trying to build the Trump brand. 2) He’s the next Hitler ushering in the New American Fascism. 3) everything in between.
Thoughts?
…All three?
I lean towards what Weaselo is saying. He has all the scared old people behind him so he has a chance of winning too.
I have to agree with Weaslo. I think at first, he was just doing it for the hell of it. After it became clear his brand of, well whatever it is, actually gained traction, he decided, “hey, why the hell not?” and rolled with it. At that point, he really let out his real feelings, and that continued to work. To everyone, probably even his, surprise.
For the record, I’d LOVE to see a brokered convention. Maybe Redshirt will attend; it is in Cleveland, and give us a write-up of the mania.
I read something on TPM about how he didn;t really believe all the racism/fascism stuff he was spinning, it was just playing to the rubes (the analogy was Trump as Mussolini, much as the latter only adopted racism as the whole Nazification of Europe went down). Not that either had any PROBLEM with doing so, just that it wasn’t a real core belief, etc.
But with Trump, once something bears the “Trump brand” then by default it MUST be awesomesauce, so he starts to believe it, which is why he’s become more of a scary motherfucker than just a clownshow.
Honestly…I think he did this like he did every four years…free advertising for his show…only he accidentally took off…and lost his show. But pretty much every thing he does works.
So fuck it…Trump 2016!!!
I thought at first the other Republican candidates encouraged him to run because it would make many of them seem sane by comparison. Now, they’ve created a monster, and no one has any idea how to stop it.
Stroke.
hey guys
Hello sir
To Redshirt (and any others): You’re a Republican awash in a sea of us LIBRUL COMMIENAZZIS here. You pointed out below that the party continues to post candidates like Trump, Cruz, Santorum, Crazyeyes Bachmann, and Uzbekikikeckistan’s favorite pizza mogul, Herman Cain. How many electoral cycles do you see this continuing, before, as you said, a viable, electable, and seemingly less-unhinged Presidential candidate? I’m not being snide (for a change), I’m genuinely curious. The Tea Party seems to believe that winning House and Senate seats validates their ideology, but, gerrymandering helps with part of that. How many national races will it take, if ever?
Sarah Palin you hippie fuck!
If it wasn’t for the JEW YORK MEDIA…we would be living under the first woman president, the economy would be turned around, and China would be democratic. But y’all had to fuck it up…
How’s that Hope and Change work’n for ya?
But John McCain’s still alive.
Not if he won that election…
Oh you think gerrymandering is a problem? What a liberal!
http://www.acluohio.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/pOhioCongDistWikiMedia250.png
Ohio went to Obama in the last 2 elections (I think?) which means >50% of the state voted for him (I think?). Yet there are 3 (i think?) democratic congressional districts.
http://www.quickmeme.com/img/f3/f3e36114d4cac4576c9bf357b231cb308d9a3952ec4bdad48b510f4a878396c4.jpg
This post brought to you by an undying love of Dennis Kucinich, whose district was removed following the 2010 census when districts were redrawn by the republican controlled congress. He tried to impeach Cheney! Never forget!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attempted_impeachment_of_Dick_Cheney
Dear god this was the day from hell…
Woke up late for my shrink’s appointment. Scraped my rims on the curb in front of said shrink’s office. Discovered the site I have to drive to tomorrow for work is about an hour and a half further than I thought.
And my boss is riding in the car with me. 7 hours of travel tomorrow will be with my boss.
I hate myself for not knowing where that Willie Garson pic came from
I just read an article where in a town in NC decided to ban a solar farm (as well as deny construction to three others, one of which was already being built) due to real estate concerns, economic impacts, and the very real threat, voiced by a retired science teacher, of said farms “sucking up all of the sun’s rays and preventing local photosynthesis.
I… I don’t even have a joke. I’m just sad.
Its idiots like this that’s why Trump and Cruz are leading the Republican Party, preventing them from fielding a credible, winnable candidate.
When you get outside the Raleigh and Charlotte immediate spheres of influence…things get weird.
What’s despicable is all the “news” outlets running that story has a “haha look at how stupid people ars” story without doing any research or reporting on it. Just jokes about possibly crazy people. Some unsubstantiated things I heard about the rest of the story were:
The town already has solar farms nearby (in addition to the ones being built?) so people dont want any more. The building of solar farms doesnt bring permanent jobs to the area, nor any revenue from the energy produced. Apparently the town was rocked by a hurricane in 09 and hasn’t really recovered. The town would be in charge of maintaining the farms in some way? Or at least responding to emergencies, but the town would get minimal additional funding to provide these services and/or training about them.
Also, solar panels do suck up the sun’s rays, that is their only job, which can prevent photosynthesis. To plants directly underneath them. And possibly in the general vicinity.
And:
The issue was a zoning one, so the town didn’t want an industrial zone too close to the rest of the town, presumably commercial and residential.
A solar farm is probably a lengthy commitment/lease, so they would be stuck with it for ~20 years, preventing using the land for something else. Are solar panels still made with cadmium and heavy metals? So there might be cause for cleanup/waiting period even after the farm is gone.
These posts brought to you by a cursory reading of one such aforementioned article and a rare moment of lucidity and sobriety before the crushing weight of existence sets in.
The town IS the joke!
Pete Rose is still banned for gambling from Major League Baseball presented by DraftKings, The only reason I’m bringing this up is if we can get Tom Brady addicted to gambling on football, our problem’s over.
If only we knew of a website that offered that service…
I don’t know if there is a combination of teams I don’t give a shit about as much as these 2… yeah, I will probably watch anyways
A fantasy game isn’t on the line for ME tonight because I chose to sit Doug Baldwin and the players I used in his stead (Amari Cooper, Vincent Jackson, Jeremy Hill) combined for a total of 4.40 points.
Also because I don’t own any players on either of these terrible teams.
Can you imagine the hijinks Buster Bluth and Elisha could get into?
ALL TEH JUICE BOXES
I like that this warranted MNF consideration at any point in the offseason? Was the storyline supposed to be, “Miami is leading the AFC East but will the P*triot slaying NY Giants be coming to Bra(PED)y’s rescue with a win over the ‘fins tonight?”
Yeah, I looked at NYG/MIA and thought tonight must be Thursday.
Shit, tomorrow’s not Friday.
I didn’t realize that Miami’s fan base was made up of Super Mutants, but this certainly explains a lot…
http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/fallout/images/8/8d/Super_mutant_overlord.png
“That’s not a very nice thing to say about our recent record!”
http://www.bayareasportsguy.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/eli-manning-face.jpg
If they don’t win, he’s going to get himself a case and drink himself unconscious after the game.
http://static.caloriecount.about.com/images/medium/juicy-juice-boxes-strawberry-28621.jpg
Eli knows that if the Giants can pull off a win tonight, it’ll be “Gone Fishin’” for him.
http://i.walmartimages.com/i/p/00/04/77/54/60/0004775460650_500X500.jpg
I used to kick ass on that game!
“That’s not a very nice thing to say about our recent record!”
Axl Rose, November 24, 2008
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.