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NYG @ Mia: Having lost 4 of their last 5 the Giants are sending notice to the rest of the NFC East that as far as the championship of the division is concerned, they’re in this for the long run. The Fins are responding with, “Playoffs?, Playoffs?” Literally dozens of fantasy wins are on the line tonight. Shall we watch? Yes we shall…
Your Monday Night Open Thread
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Truffle Shuffle!
Fucking open carry Star Wars advocates…
That’s how you lose a Greedo.
So is BLEERGH taking his day of rest?
(HAIL BLEERGH)
Even He can’t bear to watch, blessed be His name
BEERGH-THE-SLEEPFUL RESTS TONIGHT.
So the Giants are going to do Coughlin a favor and just give his gold watch at halftime, shake his hand, thank him for his years of service and let him go his way.
HEY
HEY
HEY LOOK AT ME
HEY IT’S ME IT’S ME HEY HEY HEY
Looks like Eli’s getting soy milk instead of cow’s milk before bed tonight!
Eh, still better than the Malk that Sam Bradford has been getting.
I forget, is Malk the stuff from mice? With your full daily requirement of Vitamin R?
Neither team wants to win, they just want to lose less.
Hahahah god these teams are bad
yeah I was just thinkin this might be the shittiest shit game we’ve seen all year
I think offensive pass interference should result in the ball given to the opposing team at the spot of the foul. I mean that’s basically what they do for defensive pass interference.
Or how about the penalty yardage is same as distance from line of scrimmage?
YES
I think more offensive plays should result in a loss of down.
As it is now, defense goes offsides? Free play for offense.
Offense false starts? Do-over, 5 yards back.
Hell, some offensive penalties are worth replaying the down.
More offensive penalties should result in a loss of down, dammit.
Did everyone else get that Bloomberg commercial? The music in it reminded me a lot of the bank heist scene in Heat. Which I suppose is fitting considering that the purpose of most financial services providers is to steal your money.
Things that will never interest me:
1. Dr. Who
2. Star Trek
3. Professional wrestling
4. The NBA
5. Any story my wife tells me that includes her mother
That’s a good list Boss.
You are so full of shit…
Don’t act like when you learn how your mother in law kicked the bucket, you aren’t sitting at attention.
The exception proves the rule
“There is no rule against stupidity; no penalty on the play.”
Holy fuck, Jenkins nearly broke Tannyhill.
If you need a single shoe, Jim Tomsula is the man to talk to.
BLUDGEON
FUCK, you is on fire tonight, boss
CommJJ,
Would your wife kill you if you organized a commentariat outing to “The Block”?
Will there be 40s in paper bags for us all?
If you’re talking to me, she’d be cool with it, but The Block is a broken, empty shell of what it was. Still, nudie bar’s a nudie bar. . .
oh shit, I thought you meant to watch his gangland scrappin
Haven’t been here in more.than 15 years. Pre-Wire. The only time I went toa strip without a lady friend.
Is it me or does this Miami offense look competent?
Giants defense might be somewhat to credit here
You were saying?
He almost got dead there.
Dear NFL,
Even as a Broncos fan, I have to say that this orange bullshit is out of hand. FIX YO SHIT
See: Cleveland, Tampa, Miami
Eli’s wife told him she’d do him doggie style if he didn’t throw a pick in the game. He told her he prefers kitties, preferably ones barely holding on.
Sadly, that commercial does a better job of coherently addressing pressing political issues than the last Republican debate.
Does Coughlin still do Elf on the Shelf with Eli?
According to PK, every year Cam Newton does self on a shelf.
PK’s elf broke the whole shelf.
Tracking one of these down for the kids this Christmas. Seriously, it’s for the kids.
Heh. They’re updated for the 21st century, but Matchbox sells all that shit still. I know, because we have about 30′ of track and miscellaneous Rube Goldberg shit in my basement, where my 3 year-old plays with it.
I still got mine from the early 90s. Dope as fuck. Gonna pull it out next weekend for my little 4 year old cousin and blow his mind.
By the way, definitely use the cars that come with the updated track. They actually roll more smoothly and faster.
I wasted so much time with those tracks as a kid and I regret none of it.
They make really good weapons. You can really welt someone up with them.
I’m pretty sure AP has a couple yards of track he uses for disciplinary purposes.
Wasn’t Howard Cosell’s “Look at that monkey run!” moment when a Miami player broke loose? I’m waiting for Gruden to do the same.
JPP was only a finger or two from making that tackle
Wait, JPP only has one arm now?
Little known fact – he’s actually the drummer for Def Leppard.
That tackling was ..
NFC Eastish
Lacking in digits?
No wait, “left handed”?
Now that the Ravens are deader than dead, I’m paying closer attention to the different rioting groups that will be competing with one another in Mobtown in the next few weeks. Haven’t picked a favorite yet, but give me a few days.
I’m partial to the quiet ones, but that’s just me.
Maw always said that’s who ya had to look out fer
Wait for the college students to get pissed about a lack of of booze. Fells Point will be be a shi. hole. Even more than the rest of the city.
\Loves B’more
I was wondering why nobody on the Giants was trying to recover Landry’s shoe.
Maybe have been watching too much teevee
JJ,
Elisha is 6 TDs below Johnny.U, on the all tine list.
/Ducks torrent of crabs.
Greg Jennings: Still alive!
Dan Marino never has to worry about finding his super bowl victory ring to wear to these things
Plus Isotoners would never fit over a ring.
Yeah, just ask O.J.
Well, it’s hard to find anything under those Isotoner gloves . . .
I’m glad that he’s an asshole and I don;t have to feel bad for him.
Suh, Schmuh.
“SHMOO?!!?1!?” –Elisha
http://pedestriantv-prod.s3.amazonaws.com/images%2Farticle%2F2010%2F05%2F20%2FShmoo_by_NickDraw.jpg
Eli’s dealt with his kind before.
I love how teams can have linemen like Suh or Jurrell Casey and STILL have an awful defense.
SHUT DOWN DEFENSE
My sons and I have been talking like Marshawn Lynch since about 5 pm today, ending every sentence with “boss.”
I think my wife is going to leave us.
“We’re just here so we can eat dinner.”
All bout dat prenup boss
Is that how you get a wife to leave?
Apparently – dinner was pretty damn funny.
“I’m all about that pasta, boss.”
That was the breaking point, although it was funny.
Hon, you boys are winners, boss.
Guess who gets a Yoohoo! at halftime.
Eli’s wife told him she’d give him a hummer if he wins the game. He loves kazoos.
Elijahdown!
At least neither defense looks like its in any danger of making a stop.
The offenses, different story
When you said “stop” Tom Coughlin looked wildly around to see who was composing a telegram.
Is it too late for the auto gyro to Siam?
Given that asshole chef’s smug recitation of his resume, I think it’s fitting that he’s shilling a car with three I’s in its brand name.
“He’ll gain 9…”
– Jillian Michaels during Andy Reid’s weekly weigh-in on Celebrity Biggest Loser
All he had was salad!
Chicken salad, egg salad, and potato salads are salads!
Don’t forget taco salad!
/Andy didn’t
A five-gallon tub of macaroni salad. Extra mayo. Left in the sun.
Mother of God. If this team keeps playing like this I ill make happy Zymmsound logicak.
Fuck clothing.
Shh…don’t let Big Pant hear you.
Also fuck clothing seems oxymoronic. Hinders the process.
Be sure to have your bathrobe game on point
The Jints are going to make me ignore all public nudity laws. I think I should call Sill or Entropy for local support/ bail options.
If MIA loses this, are they out of the playoff hunt?
“YES…ish”
-PK
Turf Derp
So many practice squad players are going to be berated from that overthrow tomorrow…
At least they don’t have to worry about Tanny getting so enrage that he throws something…
I mean it ain’t like he can hit them…
Tannyhill seems to be a master of the overthrow
In his defense even if he hits his receivers in the hands they are dropping it
No! I am!
-Teddy Bridgewater
For fuck sakes Miami, just clean house already!
You’re not saying that because Miami is a predominantly Hispanic city, are you?
They clean once a year. Like most frathouses.
I just want to see what happens when Watson tells someone to kill their own family.
Son of RAM
Ashley Ryan … I can replace your job and the jobs of most of your colleagues.
Ashley Madison can replace your spouse and take half your stuff.
Just turned the game on. Has Stompy stomped anyone yet?
Eli sacrificed his running back to him once. 6 yard loss tackle in the backfield
Good old Stampy. Miss that elephant.
You know, Mrs. Simpson, some elephants are just jerks.
The IBM bot…watson…better or worse if he replaced Gruden on MNF?
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