I will speak softly, presuming all are hungover and depressed at the prospects of the pending Clemson/Bama national final. Anyway, these are today’s exhibitions.
Terrible Faux-Australian Steak Bowl – Northwestern vs. Tennessee (Noon, ESPN2)
My general take would be that the Mildcats are less bad than the Vols, but one must admit that the SEC has done significantly better than expected in the exhibition season so far. Maybe it will be entertaining, at least.
Citrus Bowl – Michigan vs. Florida (1:00, ABC)
I don’t know what the line is, but for fuck’s sake, BET THE UNDER.
Fiesta Bowl – Notre Dame vs. Ohio State (1:00, ESPN)
Serious, giant earthquake. If there was ever a time we needed you more, I sure as fuck can’t remember it.
Rose Bowl – Stanford vs. Iowa (5:00, ESPN)
Finally, a game that one can feel good about watching, and perhaps the white knuckle period of your hangovers will at least be over. And NO, I will not call it “the Rose Bowl game” as I don’t give two fucks about your parade. Too bad Stanford couldn’t have been in the semifinals, maybe we could have had one game that didn’t suck hind teat.
Sugar Bowl – Oklahoma State vs. Ole Miss (8:30, ESPN)
The grand finale of your sporting 1 January. There Will Be Offense. And not just because of Johnny Reb’s confederacy-lovin’ supporters. Or those really bizarre orange BDSM paddles the Pokes fans always bring with them.
The Tarantasaurs Rex is complete:
Sweeeeet
Thank you.
we should definitely keep him
Not scary at all.
Tolja he’d be all cute n fluffy n shit.
He’ll fit right in at the DFO clubhouse. Something’s gotta watch Otto’s brain while we’re dealing with anarchist Girl Scouts.
I am just blown away that these announcers are managing to compare McCaffery to black players. It’s apt, which confuses me all the more.
Not really the Barry Sanders one, but a bigger Reggie Bush? That I do see.
Bigger Bush?
Not in favor.
But it gives you a built-in excuse when you go in head-first (Pete Rose style!) and can’t find rhymes with Dolores…
MULVA?!?!?!?
Hell of a bowl season..m
BEST POST-SEASON FORMAT IN ALL OF SPORTS!!!
Congrats on not being shut out, Iowa. You’re not as bad as MSU
Though I guess we can see why that IA/Sparty game was so close and competitive. Same team, really.
At least it’s not a shutout!
you can moon Sparty, fo sho
Hey Iowa, what’d the five fingers say to the face?
If there’s ever a more appropriate time and place for this
http://d.justpo.st/media/images/2013/10/dc86338697d8e4e4364da35a762535ed.jpg
I hope I am not alive to see it.
You can tell by the ref’s tone of voice that he just wants this shit to end so bad.
Iowa’s Abrederis is showing after this rout.
Well, at least we can look forward to Oregon vs. TCU in the Valero Bowl
I’m very disappoint in meself that I know what a Valero is. A decade and a half misspent in ‘Zona I’m afraid.
Is there a mercy rule in Bowl games?
somebody on Iowa needs to say “no mas”
I was watching the Rose Bowl at dinner but holy Christ, I usually try not to watch snuff films while I eat.
Anybody ever pour a beer and three large chorizo in a pressure cooker set on medium for 5 minutes? Asking for a friend.
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view1/20140415/5017873/chorizo-sausage-falls-on-face-o.gif
http://49.media.tumblr.com/b6d6da07423b57015072299197796c5a/tumblr_mr7glleY6Q1qd4mvdo2_400.gif
ahh, we’re too cool to dress up in band unifoms band
They look like assholes.
They have wrinkled clothes?
Well at least Iowa’s band brought it.
“Coach, can we go the mall now?”
– Iowa players at halftime.
“Well shit…that fucking sucked”
Iowa Head Coach….
http://i.imgur.com/2JnG96r.gif
http://49.media.tumblr.com/6709a2e0f78f058febdca7e8ac790c2f/tumblr_nzg7lpfjvu1qaets3o1_500.gif
Ohio State Fans are complaining on Twitter about not being in the Rose Bowl or Playoffs
http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/web05/2012/10/2/20/anigif_enhanced-buzz-13418-1349223535-0.gif
I’ll bet Notre Dame fans agree with them.
http://i.imgur.com/sgy8bbu.gifv
http://49.media.tumblr.com/924a2ba22aa483bcc2fd2cc2664c21f5/tumblr_mvi9stxmPM1s2wio8o1_500.gif
Hey now!
I am really good at playing Civ 5. It’s too bad this isn’t a marketable skill. Oh well.
Apparently Civ 5 doesn’t natively support games by email, someone created a third party site that adds it, but I don’t understand how it works yet.
http://multiplayerrobot.com/
Huh, neat. I’ll have to look into that.
C’mon Edison?
A power outage on New year’s day?
http://41.media.tumblr.com/02955eb2fa56de58e9adc9e5443d4169/tumblr_nx9wckmoJM1qg2n7mo1_400.jpg
Damnit Stanford, stop Iowa from scoring!
http://i.imgur.com/E4DNteq.gifv
Why does the right side flip twice? The second one doesn’t seem to do anything.
No idea.
Keith Jackson sounds different this year. Less sweaty, perhaps. Probably couldn’t even irrigate my chia pet with the liquid in his undercarriage.
http://i.imgur.com/KcGRhr7.gif
You do realize that there is a Twilight Zone marathon on Scify?
They have that every New Years, for the last 15 at least, probably longer.
I know but I love that damn show.
Still some of the best written television ever.
Didn’t the experts all tell us the B1G was the best conference in CFB this season? Pretty sure I heard that.
The “experts” are always reactionary, and never good at extrapolating. Their jobs do not actually depend on accuracy, only popularity. So, the lesson is never pay any attention to them.
This is embarrassing. Better not leave the PAC12 out of the CFB playoff next year.
I know for a fact many people around here paid over $1000+ to witness this.
Does Iowa owe Stanford money or something because this is getting ridiculous.
It’s easy to say this now, but did we really think Iowa was good? Iowa? They didn’t play osu, mich, or mich st in the regular season and the best teams in their division are nebraska and wisconsin.
Also easy to say now, but I wish the almighty cfp committee had the balls to just put osu back in the playoff, using some actual football insight instead of just relying on records and fallacious strength of schedule metrics. Then at least there would be hope of alabama losing.
Here is what I would do…and I am not stupid…I know it would NEVER happen.
Tier the conference. Just like over in Europe, the two worst are dropped, the two best are raised up. Only the teams in the top conference is considered for a national title, but again, every year two teams are dropped and two are raised up.
Also pay the players and separate the teams from educational institutions. And destroy the NCAA.
Just some minor changes…
I love it if Promotion/Relegation was added to American sports.
It sort of works like that now, on a slower pace and an individual team level. Good teams can sometimes move up from 1-AA (App St. did recently I believe), and I guess teams can get booted from 1-A (has anyone seen Marshall lately?).
Did Iowa even show up?
http://i.imgur.com/aNMy5zi.gifv
I really don’t understand why people don’t make more dirty jokes about the word “cockpit”
Go right ahead. I’m sure we’d all love to hear some good cockpit humour.
Q: How is a downed Navy jet like a newly deflowered virgin?
A: Their cockpits are both full of bloody seamen!
Daaaamn. That wins.
Heyooooo….Hippo on the express elevator to hell.
Nicely done, btw.
I’m OK with this as next week’s tag line.
Ice Cream Sammiches????
Best Factory in EVER.
It’s clearly not in Cleveland.
Stanford should just put McCaffrey in on defense. YOU CANT HIDE, IOWA
#37 on the list of Don’t Get Your Dick Caught in This.
Where does my ex rank?
I think that is the If You Get Your Dick Caught in This it Will Cost You Big Time Later.
*But it feels good now, so go for for it you shortsighted buffoon.
*This applies to me ….
For you? Prolly #1
v
This is all Carly Fiorina’s fault.
Whodafuqissat?
The bloom is off this Rose bowl…
/I will just leave.
So, this pretty much deals the deal that UCLA and USC are the embarrassment of the Pac-12, right?
I mean, they lost to BIG10 teams, ffs!
I am still trying to wrap my head around how that happened.
What about the Big 56mL?
Hey guys I’m just now tuning into the Rose B…. Wow
http://49.media.tumblr.com/aa78a2a00db2ef909a63c8ca898aabef/tumblr_nz4keaAJDv1snfrhmo1_r2_400.gif
Anyone else having their comments “awaiting moderation”?
http://i.imgur.com/96ATzG2.gif
Sometimes an image or word in the text will catch the filter’s eye. I have to keep the filter on or we get a million spam comments about viagra and fake rolexes.
If they use a strainer instead of a filter big chunks get in.
Viagra and fake rolexes? Wuts duh problum…we all needz dat stuff.
Sometimes on the open threads it is hard to keep up
*hard for them.
I don’t do shit, just reap the rewards.
Iowa…this game so far…
http://i.imgur.com/onmJiHN.gif
Automation is frikkin awesome.
If you can track this stuff down, I highly recommend it. Very sharp Welsh cheddar that has a slight salt rind.
Delicious. Check the fancy cheese section of your grocery store.
http://www.freshminds.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/Colliers_welsh_cheddar_cheese.jpg
I try to avoid eating coal dust.
Well, this hasn’t quite been a banner year for close, competitive major bowl games.
http://49.media.tumblr.com/b8d8f5aa6945acb9fda5d4f544425f19/tumblr_nzzetdE5y41tr6ni8o1_500.gif
http://49.media.tumblr.com/02f7c98ed9dec48d44224e2959a44d6f/tumblr_mwml1yqx4x1s2gg27o1_250.gif
WWE visits Philadelphia during an Eagles loss?
Your theory is plausible.