Your HumpDayDon’tVoteTrumpDay Wednesday Open Thread

Subtle, huh? The NBA tells me that Mia, Cle, SA and LAC are playing-but not against each other. I say expand the basketball court by 4X, put 4 teams on the court, put nets at each corner and throw 2 basketballs onto the court. HAVE AT IT FELLAS!

The NHL menu features all free-skate choices. The two games to watch are NJ/Mtl and Pit/Chi.

Most of the action tonight is generated by “student-athletes”. Pitt/GT, Duke/Wake, Hall/Nova, TTU/ISU are all great tilts. In addition, Maryland, Dayton and TAMU are on the court. ENJOY!

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King Hippo

This morning…on the DVR…Chardee MacDennis 2: Electric Boogaloo. HOLY SHIT, The Gang just keeps outdoing themselves.

ballsofsteelandfury

Check out the post on bring back matt.

Former C-G-U-O

Thank you all for the hot chick gifs. Got dumped today. As always, looking at pretty girls after a few beers helps.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Bummer! Sorry to hear that.

http://filmsor.net/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/eliza_dushku.png

(Eliza makes everything better)

ballsofsteelandfury

On the bright side, you’re off the hook for Valentine’s Day!

Beerguyrob

On the brighter side, you’re ready to go hunting on Valentine’s Day.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

You nightowl, you.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
laserguru

It took awhile but I finally figured out what’s compelling about season 1 of American Horror Story.
comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I liked the maid fantasy and her better than anything on the show, well and….

comment image

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Ayup…have to admit the new season is holding my interest as well.

http://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/976/cpsprodpb/118A5/production/_84754817_ap_gaga.jpg

Beerguyrob

I’m starting to think the People’s Choice awards only invites the people that have been chosen.

Senor Weaselo

Probably.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Oh, my bad; you said chosEn.

Senor Weaselo

Tacos are like drinks. If it gets to the point where I lose count of how many I’ve had, it’s probably time to stop. After one more. Which I’ll regret the next day.

Porky Prime

This is my son’s current visual crackpipe. I guess I’ve seen worse shows. The animation these days whips ass on my youth. The Snorks just kind of stood there. And fuck the Snorks.
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view1/4334087/octonauts-intro-o.gif

WCS

Is this what I have to “look forward” to?

Porky Prime

Unfortunately. We will end up with bigger problems because he loves the shit out of his cousins and sees them all the times and they watch the dumbest garbage, and their parents don’t give a shit if the 8 and 4 year olds play GTA V and Mortal Kombat.

WCS

I’d swap Dora and that girl who’s suddenly a princess for GTA V. My niece is five, so I’ve got some exposure to this poison. At least I can frame GTA in context. I’m a college instructor; I deal with children and their students all the time.

laserguru
Sep

But is a sheet of ice cold enough to freeze steel beams?!?!

ballsofsteelandfury

Moose, did you check your email today? I tried to send you an email regarding your prize winnings.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

It was from a Nigerian prince who has an offer you won’t believe.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It said “No, this is not spam” in the subject line so I deleted it with gloves and tongs.

http://45.media.tumblr.com/9b3972ee96b7d12d044a5d494f8fc7a6/tumblr_mrnq5rsPoJ1qdlh1io1_400.gif

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yes, can we apply those funds to the next DFOarty thing? Entropy’s drawing will be enough.

http://33.media.tumblr.com/79cc34c6a20937e7bdbfd476ede24a9a/tumblr_inline_nzokextcho1r0hwz3_500.gif

ballsofsteelandfury

As you wish, but I do have experience shipping things across state/country lines. Ask Trevor Risk.

What about the next time you are in LA, we all buy you a drink or two?

WCS

If you didn’t see this earlier:

Sep

That’s Bonanza

Porky Prime

Kevin Hart could stand on that girl’s shoulders and Conan would still tower over him.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That is a terrible sex act.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That’s pretty funny.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
ballsofsteelandfury

You know that’s MY motto!

indieguy

hence my gold bond powder regime

Porky Prime

Ditto my avocado and pistachio pudding ball mask.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Duchess

Lovie just got booted from Tampa

WCS

He took two timeouts to challenge the ruling.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Shogun Marcus

Some franchises just want to watch the world burn.

Seriously, this makes no sense and I give zero fucks about this team and actively hope their qb dies by pegging.

WCS

NEW ALWAYS SUNNY, BITCHES

WCS

CharDee MacDennis 2: Electric Boogaloo

It’s every bit as insane as you’d expect.

ballsofsteelandfury

So good! I wrote up a recap at bring back matt. If Duchess likes it, it’ll post soon.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
JustStopDude

Words cannot describe how bad my work trip to Japan is going to be. Utter fucking disaster. I got like three days to try and get a PLC to work with a touch panel and a salinity sensor before they need to get shipped.. Everything I have learned online has shown that the fucking three things will not work together. I want to murder the idiot in sales that sold this crap.

I have to get this to work. The financial penalties will be severe. And I want to know what my management is thinking sending me to Japan solo when the last trip I went on, I had a fucking nervous breakdown in the middle of a steel mill.

THAT WAS IN ARKANSAS!!!

I seriously need to just bite the bullet and start doing gay porn.

Duchess

Gay Porn is probably always the answer to “What would Jesus do?”

JustStopDude

It is where the real money is for male performers.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Not my cross to……………………bare.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

I’d take Japan over Arkansas.

litre_cola

Gotta think the lads would be more polite

Senor Weaselo

I don’t know if gay porn’s a good idea considering your breakdown was in a steel mill.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrX-GZCnYxU

Porky Prime

Did you try bypassing the flux capacitor with a hydrospanner? Reversing the dilithium polarity might work too, but you might get get unwanted interference from the dark matter. If that doesn’t work, maybe open up a bottle of sake and start hitting things with a wrench.

Trust me, I’m a postman.

Seriously though, hope shit gets straightened out for you. This is literally a situation that comes up in Dilbert.

jjfozz

We are 11 days out from our trip to Disney World. I casually asked the wife if we should buy liquor here and pack it, or buy some in Orlando.

Her response, “I don’t care, but remember we’re going to a family place, you don’t need to drink all day.”

I’ll be spacing out the drinks during the day. I will still get in bourble once night settles over the Magik Kingdom.

litre_cola

Put on Mickey Ears immediately! Drunk as fuck you are just getting in the spirit!

Duchess

Million dollar idea… Knock off Mickey ears that are actually flasks with a straw like the beer hats.

Duchess

Just dont be that douche who rents a disabled person to skip in line. Do collect fast pass tickets like crazy

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Just cripple one of your own children, it’s more honest.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Does emotionally-crippled count? Because Fozz Junior has to be scarred by this point

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Sorry, but “….we’re going to a family place, you don’t need to drink all day.” the two things in that phrase DO NOT belong together

Porky Prime

EPCOT has various beers of the world as well as moderately edible replications of world cuisine around the whole of the park. Other than Spaceship Earth, there is literally no other reason to go to EPCOT. Unless you’re at Disney for the whole week and finally tire of Animal Kingdom. That Safari ride is the tits.

I was only in Orlando once, but it seems to me that everything non-residential outside the park areas is like off-Strip Vegas…cheap, dirty, and not at all similar to the corporate fantasy dioramas that built the city up from a swampy hole. But unlike Vegas, you can’t offset it by praying to Gamblor.

The meatloaf sliders at the Brickhouse Tavern nearby were better than any food we had in any of the parks.

Senor Weaselo

So, I know we don’t care about the based balls here, but who’s responsible for getting the pitchforks and torches the Griffey non-votes angry mob?

jjfozz

Adult Win for Today: yelling “Stupid fuckass!” at a woman who almost drove right into my lane.

I had 4 kids in the car at the time. Two were my spawn, so no foul there. The other two were delighted that I used that word.

WCS

Take the rest of the week off.

Senor Weaselo

I’m more a fuckface user myself.

Duchess

Oh in traffic I drop Cunt. Traffic brings out my worst language.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Cunt is a great traffic word; it is genderless in my vocabulary, so it works for individuals or groups.

laserguru

In an unusual development, I’m having trouble getting into the hoops, hockey. I’m pretty sure that’s because my NFL team is still alive.
In most years after a losing season I am ready as fuck to move onto the next sport so this has been a little strange.

Besides I’m binge watching American Horror Story, Season 1 so there’s something.
Apart from Food Network.

litre_cola

Now if you follow a team like the Iggles, you have time for that fail and time for your Ice Football team to show some proficiency and the finish 9th in their conference.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

If you have trouble getting into a hoop, you ate too much over the holidays.

Porky Prime

Season one was good, but wait until you get to Freak Show. Off the wall shit, like Carnivale directed by Rob Zombie.

American Pie Story

oh hai open thread

is that a smiley face or a pizza

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yes

Croooow

I’m guessing Peter King was one of the three dipshits who voted against Ken Griffey Jr for the HOF?

Shogun Marcus

Wouldn’t sit down with him and break nutmeg.

WCS

“The 22-year career was impressive, yes, but, he just never understood what it took be a team player.”

nomonkeyfun

Plus when he was 19 and got ninteditis. It was the greatest crime against baseball.

Seriously, fuck those assholes who did,’t vote for Griffey in on his first ballot. He is the greatest ball player I’ve ever seen. He makes Trout look like a replacement player.
He’s this generations Willie Mays.

Holy shit, I’m going to say this again, but he was the ballplayer I dreamed of being when I was growing up.

jjfozz

I can imagine those slothful, turgid bags of sweaty flesh sitting in their damp, greasy-walled apartments rubbing their troglodyte hands, fondling their HOF votes, and whispering, “My precious” as they voted against this guy.

Bugg

And the gritty intangible mite Eckstein is off the ballot FOREVER. HEARTBREAKING. Maybe?

Duchess

alrighty playing the power ball tonight… If I win Pappy or Blantons all around!

litre_cola

Just bring me to Skins v Iggles. Gin will flow.

Porky Prime

Just treat everyone to a Jags-Titans game in December. I think those tickets go for like $0.04 on StubHub, so you’re really only paying for travel.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Shogun Marcus

He will never not be creepy. Ever. All future abuse cases will somehow be connected to him.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I find it removes the creepyness if you hold them down and rub your ass on their face. Enough force to have asshole to nose contact will make them think about being creepy. Just a suggestion.

laserguru

That’s some good summonin’.

It’s rainy as a motherfucker out there.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

ONLY 25 MORE DAYS TIL IOWA!!!1!

WCS

Looky what I found. The very first posts of the very original KSK:
https://kissingsuzykolber.wordpress.com/2006/06/

Spanky Datass

Good times … good times …

Senor Weaselo

Who wrote it, Ufford?

WCS

That seems like Ufford or Kogod (Unsilent).

American Pie Story

Yeah Ufford.

litre_cola

I work for the gubmt up here. My soon to be Mrs Cola’s gramma died, solid woman, met her once but got blasted on Islay malts with her. I am not going to the wake, or grieving, my mgt rep said it would set a bad precedent if I came to work. Mrs Cola is gone, I have 3 days off now to not offend my peers, drank 2 btls of wine during the day, now am not sure of the next move.

I would have gone to work, I have a conscience.

Shogun Marcus

Bad precedent? Like how or what? I’d make horrible jokes here, something something dragging a coffin behind you and the like, but I’m sorry for Mrs. Colas loss.

litre_cola

Like if I didn’t take 3 days off then others would be uncomfortable if they did.

So here I am, stoned, drunk, and solo. Life is A-OK.

I drank a couple whiskys for her.

Shogun Marcus

You (trail) blazer. Your colleagues should bow down.

litre_cola

I hate my job, but still would have gone in. Instead I am great!