It’s Here! It’s Here! Your Very First DFO Playoff Game Open Thread

A cynic (myself) might say that this game doesn’t look very good but we’re in “PLAYOFF MODE” now. LOSER GOES HOME…JUST LIKE THE WINNER! Okay, I’m sure you know what I mean because we all type English here. We’ve endured some weird crap over the course of the season and now it’s win or you’re gone time.

KC @ HOU: Does anyone remember the 1-5 Chiefs? They were without not only hope but also J.C. and were looking at the likes of Spencer “Who?” Ware and Charcandrick “Huh?” West to right the ship running game-wise. And umm, WOW! they did it. That actually happened. The even more surprising occurrence was the transformation of QB Smith from a “Spaghetti-Armed Game Manager” into a “Spaghetti-Armed Slight Difference-Maker”! Wonders will simply not cease to exist no matter how much I want them to… This has to be HC Reid’s best coaching job, don’t you think? Speaking of thinking, methinks the only way for the Texans to get out of this with a win is for their two most dominant players to go nuts, right? If DE Watt collapses his side of the line on an on-going basis and WR Hopkins catches 12+ balls things have a chance of going Houston’s way. If either becomes a non-factor the odds of a W drop to very close to nil. DE Clowney was held out of practice, was in on Thursday and was out again on Friday. He and his willingness to play hard on every down are listed as questionable.

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Wakezilla

But what does JJ Watt think about Eric Berry’s Hodgkin’s lymphoma?

Doktor Zymm

I just want to point out that Eric Berry is awesome.

entropy

Agreed.

Bloody Lethal

He scary…

hippofant

Someone needs to figure out what’s going on with Michelle Tafoya’s mike.

Senor Weaselo

I’m glad I’m not the only one who’s been annoyed by that.

Bloody Lethal

I mean this is a lock.

Sill Bimmons

AND NOW THE MIRACLE OF THE DOOPED PANTZ BEGINS

entropy

I am now officially rooting for the shut out, a competitive game is clearly out of the question, let’s go for making JJ cry.

WCS

He’s crying because he loves the troops so much.

Doktor Zymm

shoop a DOOPY TIME

entropy

Spinderella was never given enough attention.

Kungjitsu

Then she shouldn’t have taken out that restraining order!

...

/Bears fans collectively scream

ThePirateSloth

Whatchoo wanna do?

Shogun Marcus

Enough of this. Classic Batman until the next game. Ooh it’s a Joker and Catwoman team-up!
/please be Newmar

Shogun Marcus

Eartha Kitt. It’ll do.

Senor Weaselo

THESE HOUSTON TEXANS I CALL THEM THE KRUSTY BURGLAR BECAUSE THEY’RE ALREADY DEAD.

WCS

Banner quote? Banner quote.

fleshwound_NPG

Yes. It is good hustle.

Wakezilla

If Doopy Pants rallies and beats the Chefs, I am buying a Weeden jersey. . . a counterfeit one. Speaking of, can I get a link to one of those sites? Someone but an Armani Toomer jersey from one.

ballsofsteelandfury

That was RTD. Good quality too.

ballsofsteelandfury

Alibaba, I believe.

ballsofsteelandfury

It’s not 2 hand fucking touch, #29!

Kungjitsu

In the immortal words of Mother Theresa: For who? For what?

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Waredown!

Doktor Zymm

TOUCHDOWN!!
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ThePirateSloth

If Doopy leads the Texans to a win, I will full on wear Pats gear whilst cheering for the Pats next week. OSZ can provide proof.

Spur

Best thing about this whole game is that teaser of Batman v Superman

Sill Bimmons
ballsofsteelandfury

No more yanky my wanky!

Doktor Zymm

Just found the game preview I should have watched..
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mef656sFbh1qgmv4ao1_500.gif

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So it looks like we’ll be going from THE DERPENING to THE DOOPENING.

John Difool

DOOPOCALYPSE NOW!

fleshwound_NPG

FUCK YEA, DOOPY TIME

ballsofsteelandfury

WOOOOOOO!!!

entropy

“Crick?” Outside of PA, it’s pronounced “creek.”

Senor Weaselo

I went to get Powerball tickets, did I miss any turnovers?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

It is 20-0 going on 23/27-0. I will continue with my new AoS theme

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ubDDap3LiJE/U4jRDvpiS9I/AAAAAAACkGE/UaTSYvmwa0s/s1600/ch.gif

Bloody Lethal

Who her

Kungjitsu

Chloe Bennet

hippofant

Chloe Bennet

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Watch Agents of Shield. She is great even though the first 7-13 episodes are terrible. You will get a gif from one of those eps in a minute though because that is still great

King Hippo

don’t get much smarter and nicer than that

ballsofsteelandfury

Nice tackling, Houston!

Spur

So the Chiefs play NE “if” they win, yes?

...

Depends on the PIT/CIN result.

King Hippo

not if CIncy wins

/laughs uncontrollably

Doktor Zymm

Look at Kelce convincing people to draft him in fantasy next year!

...

This mildly Sex Cannon-y Alex Smith is fun.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

“Fuck it, I’m throwing it intermediate”

entropy

John Simon, you’re still down by 20.

Doktor Zymm

This one is just for John Waters fans and maybe one or two guys with a fetish…
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Wakezilla

THIS HOYER, I CALL JOE WEBB BECAUSE HE’S MAKING ME BELIEVE I COULD BE AN NFL STARTING QUARTERBACK FOR A TEAM IN THE PLAYOFFS

fleshwound_NPG
ThePirateSloth

Current table topic of conversation: How crazy will it be when Keith Richards dies?

entropy

A gram of his ashes will go for THOUSANDS.

John Difool

Keith Richards died thirty years ago…… you mean when someone puts a stake through heart?

Gratliff

90% of the population will be shocked he was still alive.

WCS

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Keith Richards cannot be killed by conventional weapons.

Wakezilla

The jokes about how we thought he was already dead will get old after 1 second.

ThePirateSloth

He’s so preserved from so many drugs that they don’t even need to bury him, just stand his body up in a museum.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Shane Lechler’s beard is weird.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I stopped caring about this game at 10-0. Just killing time. Love this pic I found in a search that was in no way accurate to what it was

http://38.media.tumblr.com/365e1b3b447350d9fe86db11e32f3fbb/tumblr_nducm3A1Uo1tuv4mjo3_500.gif

entropy

Why even bother with punt returns any more? Seems every one has a block in the back penalty. Just spot the ball ten yards from the catch from here on out.

Spur

What’s up with Lisa Salter’s mic? Some weird feedback. Or is that just me?

Doktor Zymm

Is this shit for real? It’s just minor mistakes on the KC side that didn’t make that the 8th Hoyerception.

WCS

BLEERGH DEMANDS TRIBUTE

ThursdaySkyGoddess

The Texans fans aren’t booing, they’re saying “DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPY!”

John Difool

Peyton Manning’s wife is Houston’s team doctor? Who knew?

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Just throw the ball near Hopkins. Doesn’t seem that hard.

entropy

At least they’re allowing Hoyer to try for that 4th INT.

tundrajim

Maybe the Texans can sign Andre Johnson for the fourth quarter.

Doktor Zymm

I would love to see DeAndre Hopkins with a decent QB

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Right? He had 11 TD’s with this lot. If he had a…I dunno…Matt Ryan level guy, he’d be unstoppable.

Doktor Zymm

He’s gotta leave the Texans this off season. I hope he goes somewhere fun.

Doktor Zymm

Meanwhile, in Cleveland…
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Spur

Meanwhile, in Houston….
http://i.giphy.com/nTaOw1MKKA168.gif

Redshirt

And just think the Playoff Bengals still have to play.

Wakezilla

I actually feel bad for them. They really looked like they could have made it to the AFC Championship game

fleshwound_NPG

fuck yea

Col. Duke LaCross

This has been hard to watch. The world is a shittier place without him in it.

fleshwound_NPG

The Lemmy is my fav drink (I like Crown Royal more, but Jack is always aiiiight)

Spur

Chiefs-[*Redacted] s Superbowl. Chiefs win. The Eagles try to get Andy back.

Doktor Zymm

Notwithstanding the alcohol poisoning I would suffer, I would support this.

fleshwound_NPG

Down 20, time to open the offense up for Hoyer…

http://img.pandawhale.com/post-56596-Milana-Vayntrub-oh-thats-terri-tHko.gif