Your “This Game’s Gonna Be Great!…Hopefully” Wild Card Tilt Open Thread

GB @ Was: The weather in Washington, UK is 41 degrees but it feels like 34. However I don’t think that it’s going to be an issue for this game. It’s been quite some time since the Slurs hosted a playoff game. This’ll give you an idea:

-Bread was only .25 but you had to slice it yourself.

-Women holding mics on the sidelines were called ‘assistants to someone that matters’ or ‘wanton hussies’.

-The NFL called concussions ‘a figment of everyone’s fevered imaginations’.

-Dan Snyder was in grade school, mixing Lysol and tap water together, labeling it as ‘lemonade’ and selling it for a buck a glass to his classmates.

-speaking of school, Tom Coughlin was walking uphill thru 4 feet of snow to a one-room schoolhouse.

-bananas hadn’t been invented in a Monsanto hothouse yet.

Those were the days, huh? Contrary to what every Packers backer thinks/the expectation of the casual NFL fan/common sense/all that is good and right in the world, Wash has an enormous advantage at the QB spot. Over the last 10 games Rodgers has a 57% completion rate and a 16TD/6INT ratio. Over that same span Cousins’ passes have found their mark 72 percent of the time and his TD/INT ratio is a “am I reading this right?” 23-3! But wait! The Slurs didn’t win a single game against a team that was over .500. Also, of Cousins 11 picks, 7 came against the blitz. There is a team playing today that blitzed the 5th-most this year. I’ll give you a second or two to figure out which one it is. Hint-for this game only the Pack D has named themselves “The Cousins Fuckers”. Now that you’ve got every single relevant bit of data related to this game, well, start with the typing!

 

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laserguru

These guys were supposed to be playing the Belly Up Tavern in Solana Beach CA on the 26th. I had a room and tickets and every damn thing.
Alas, there was an illness in the band and they cancelled the tour.

Hey DFO San Diego branch. Want to meet up for a Stone Brewery and Port Brewery tour on the 26th? I’m in.
My kid is going to drive so we can drink like a motherfucker!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPWQfAv_qBQ

Brocky

Some might say that it’s inappropriate to object to a packers player winning the walter payton award, saying its against the spirit and desires of what walter would want.

these people forget that green bay once shoved walter payton over a bench in an attempt to end his career.

Col. Duke LaCross

Not to mention actually pulling off ruining McMahon’s.

...

START FUCKING UP PACKERS I’M TIRED OF YOUR CONSISTENT COMPETENCE

JustStopDude

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ballsofsteelandfury

I love the look on her face.

ballsofsteelandfury

That wicked smile at the end.

Bortleback

Who is she? I need a name…..for research purposes.

WhyEaglesWhy

James Jones was never this good in his first stint with the Packers.

Shogun Marcus

Ehh…He was a little better really. Problem was it was him and Jennings. Like now it’s Nelson and Cobb.

Doktor Zymm

At least the [*Redacted] s were good at one point. WE BOTH SUCK RIGHT NOW BUT COUNT THE RINGS EAGLES. If I have nothing else, I have continued Eagles incompetence. And Dallas sucking this year was pretty sweet. Weirdly, I don’t hate Romo. I actually feel kinda bad about how kicked his ass has been over the years. Dallas failure is good, but damn, the Skins ruin a man fast, you ruin a man slow. And brutal.

WhyEaglesWhy

?

Doktor Zymm

Sorry. I like you, but the rest of your sort are kinda dicks.

...

No Giants rant?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I posted the still last night. You get the animated today

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blaxabbath

Why isn’t SLURFACES getting any pressure on Rodgers?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Cooper Barrett counterpoint:
comment image?w=446&h=299&crop=1

Doktor Zymm

Aww, Kerrigan is cute as fuck.

Spanky Datass

His rookie training camp photo is a classic and caused much confusion at the ‘old site’.

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Recovery Whiskey

One for Snyders turf

King Hippo

The shit playing surface fucks over the home team.

litre_cola

Holy shit she is 46? God damn

ballsofsteelandfury

She really does. One of those people that look better with age.

blaxabbath

Quality turf there.

Doktor Zymm

Dan Snyder will own the team until he is dead. And who the fuck knows who will own it after that, he seems pretty healthy. While I hate that fucker with the power of 1000 suns, I’ve managed to perform some mental gymnastics and still love the team. He seems to be getting better at distancing himself from the team. I have no hope for this year….but the future…maybe? MAYBE?!

blaxabbath

You’re gonna be crushed.

King Hippo

yeah, it’s almost unfathomable how awful his chill’uns will be

Sharkbait

So the name of Joe equals success in DC apparently.

litre_cola

Dear God or Buddha or the guy that can’t be drawn, I hate both of these teams so much. Show me the way

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Colin Cowherd? FUCK YOU COOPER BARRETT

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

WOW. I honestly didn’t think I could have any more disdain for that Cooper Barrett show. Proved me wrong, Fox.

...

Colin Cowherd guest starring on your show is like finding E. coli in your burrito.

laserguru

That’s it. I’m smoking a bowl right now.

laserguru

That was really nice!

rockingdog

level 5 dicking about?

entropy

Fuckit three mile pilot time in here

ThePirateSloth

We really really really really really need to find Otto Man for next weekend. Everyone who is not banned from [site redacted] go send him private messages.

Romonobyl

Does it rhyme with Fuck Rocks?

ThePirateSloth

It rhymes with Sucks Cocks

Horatio Cornblower

I’ve sent him a couple since the demise of UpOurOwnAssRoxx. Nothing.

Doktor Zymm

REMEMBER WHEN THE [*Redacted] S WERE A DOMINANT TEAM THAT CUT THEIR WAY THROUGH THE PLAYOFFS AND WON THE SUPER BOWL? NO NEITHER DO I. MORE DRINKS PLEASE.

Sharkbait

I think the liquor is calling you

King Hippo

The liquor’s in control now, Randy

...

Wine, actually. But at this point, does it matter?

entropy

SHOT TIME?! SHOT TIME.

ThePirateSloth

Shots give you autism!

– Jenny McCarthy

laserguru

SSSHHOOTTSSS!!!!

Romonobyl

I do…
/Ray Lewis

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
ThePirateSloth

Story of my dating life

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

They should just call this “Second Chance” show “HGH: The Series”.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I prepared this as backup in case the first one didn’t show up right. Commercial break gif

http://img001.lazygirls.info/people/avatar/avatar_christina_hendricks_la_cocina_8OKVMiGd.sized.gif

Doktor Zymm

BRAIN ON FIRE IS BETTER THAN CROTCH ON FIRE AT LEAST I HAVE THAT BY WHICH I MEAN I DON’T HAVE VD

...

I don’t like it when the Packers are winning. I don’t like it one bit.

Horatio Cornblower

If it makes you feel better Dan Snyder is losing.

rockingdog

wubalubadub dub

Shogun Marcus

Com…Com…competence? Sorry I’m not familiar with this word.

ballsofsteelandfury

I still need to find that movie. Netflix? Hulu? Amazon?

ThePirateSloth

It’s amazing how god damn attractive this gif is.

Horatio Cornblower

I would rather watch this gif than the rest of the game.

Glorious Chairman Dan

We can’t block runs. Fucked, we are.

Brocky

careful, joe, your bias is showing

JustStopDude
synapticmisfires

I know Lacy has a rib injury, but flak-jacket is a little excessive.

What? Oh…

Spanky Datass

I know! More like fat-jacket! Amiright?

Romonobyl

A slimming corset would be more appropriate.

Spanky Datass

Spanx!

King Hippo

lotsa holding on that TD run

Doktor Zymm

A different one point lead is still a one point lead. Right. RIGHT? This will now last fuck everything fuck there is no lead it is a negative lead fuck fuck fuck and not the good kind of fuck.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Chunk and dunk!

Romonobyl

My cat just made a move for my cordless drill.
THEY’RE ORGANIZING!!!!!

King Hippo

Our cats subliminally MADE US create DFO as a means of organizing themselves. THE PIECES FIT!

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Planet of the Apes was a front to distract us from the REAL threat- cats with power tools

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Fat Eddie Lacy doing things.

WhyEaglesWhy

That BJ Raji is pretty nimble! Wait, what?

blaxabbath

When did GB let Wilfork grow dreads?

litre_cola

I giggled.

The Maestro

Just woke up from a 2.5 hour nap (unintentional) and how is Washington still winning this game???

blaxabbath

Lacy is too big to be dancing around like that.

WhyEaglesWhy

A Kuhn can’t get anywhere in a place like DC.

blaxabbath

When Rodgers rolls out after faking a handoff, am I the only person who calls it a ‘gay action’?

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Yesm yes you are.

JustStopDude
blaxabbath

She seems nice.

WhyEaglesWhy

I kept waiting for something horrible to happen, I misjudged what kind of GIF I was watching.

Romonobyl

Glad I wasn’t the only one.

...

Nope. You just get a full bust bouncing instead.

Doktor Zymm

I just want to take a moment and talk about how Dunbar is awesome. Usually people take a couple years to adapt to playing any secondary position in the pros when the played the same position in college. Quinton Dunbar was a WR who moved to CB and he’s done better than most first round draft picks at the position. HOORAH QUINTON!

Romonobyl

Good point, but you seem way too sober and coherent.

Doktor Zymm

I’ve been refusing to switch to liquor for my own good. BUT THIS FUCKING SHIT I PROBABLY SHOULD.

entropy

Speaking solely for myself, I am wrecked, and yet put a lot of thought into all my responses/posts here so as not to worry people, plus,my’know, autocorrect.

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