This is a water bear. You are not nearly as awesome as a water bear. Besides having the scientific name Tardigrade, which is way cooler than Homo Sapiens, these little microscopic cuties can survive being frozen. Just this last week, some scientists revealed that they revived some water bears that had been frozen for 30 years. Then, they laid eggs and hatched new uns. And they just take random ass DNA and use it and become better. When I grow up, I want to be a hardy micro-organism.
I got a free gift today from a wine company cause I bought lots of wine. Guess, what? It was wine! Also a fancy ass wine bottle opener set in a lovely box that matches my dining room furniture. O AN I FANCY.
You want watch sports? You want watch tennis, golf? Too bad, those are happening in Australia and Abu Dhabi respectively and are on at times of the AM which have passed. There is basketball of the college variety, Corn Fields @ Jersey Frat Boys, Hillbillys@Rednecks, and Chuck Berry’s Bastard Daughter@Horrible Chili are all on now. LeBron is doing a thing, which I hear is something some people care about. Then more college, more pro, all HOOPS. There are also nine pawned entry devices on. What, you’ve never heard a joke about HOCKED KEYS?
I’m gonna go watch the first season of Vikings on Amazon streaming. Then maybe I’ll go to a bar or something and yell at the Blackhawks on the teevee. If y’all care about stuff, you already know the time and station.
Cheers, and may you be as water bear like as possible.
[…] Water Bears, aka Tardigrade. Dok Zymm introduced us to these in an open thread a while back. They’re basically indestructible and will likely be the only thing […]
OK, that’s it.
Tomorrow should be fun; Friday,right?
http://57.media.tumblr.com/00ae5313f83dceba21e4d1f89e56867d/tumblr_nbc0cxkLR51tybfhmo2_250.gif
Already? What the hell…seems like we just had Friday last week…
http://56.media.tumblr.com/2a43e6d783ec488851ab2c2c2d05dddf/tumblr_mgo8s6H3Vz1ric2iqo1_500.jpg
Anytime LRTN is involved, it feels like Friday can’t get here soon enough.
http://57.media.tumblr.com/ca1e81f6f21e6e6f0ac8a6e33f3dd911/tumblr_mxn0gzTqLd1s9qmtio1_400.gif
I somehow missed the fact that there was a special episode of the Venture Bros. that followed up season 5 for an entire year. Literally this week, a year. Just watched it, but holy shit, Porky, live in the now.
http://57.media.tumblr.com/1a21a9cbc135863e95ff2c1b5a35fff5/tumblr_nsxzbdDeoC1rvkcx4o1_500.gif
http://media3.giphy.com/media/62PP2yEIAZF6g/giphy.gif
Sploosh.
http://57.media.tumblr.com/658be5edcf73b57c18f02ff08dd27d90/tumblr_nt5jn7yZwK1rcg84do1_500.gif
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http://i.imgur.com/TsSJl4l.gif
http://57.media.tumblr.com/31d60c500b9926b3897eaa3c60bc048f/tumblr_nsqgcdzJv11qfap4co2_400.gif
Mae West with a Twitter account would have been a goddam revelation.
http://57.media.tumblr.com/38a690ef98f419cae894d042218e65be/tumblr_nsqgcdzJv11qfap4co4_400.gif
Good lord, can you imagine?
But no, we get Kardashians. Proof there is no god.
http://57.media.tumblr.com/d53c9afd14d6ee7a2d44079845a99a11/tumblr_nsqgcdzJv11qfap4co8_r1_400.gif
http://57.media.tumblr.com/1d876bce895290c4e6de478710dd5758/tumblr_nsqgcdzJv11qfap4co7_r1_400.gif
RE: Deadwood
I’ve passed six kidney stones in my life. Two of them landed me in the ER, one of them on Christmas Day 2014. They are indescribably painful. For me, it starts as a fire in your lower back, which comes in waves. 30 seconds or so or of a dull roar, followed by 15-20 seconds of sweet relief. This lasts for a few hours. Then it suddenly stops. This is the eye of the storm. And while you may feel fine, the more experienced you get, the more concerned you grow, because at some point, you know it’s about to get much, much worse.
The next stage of it, I can’t really describe. Not because it’s so painful (oh, it is), but because at this point, things get weird. I hyperventilate, to verge of panic it’s so bad. I’ve gotten sick from the pain, which I didn’t know was a thing that could happen. Cold sweats, lack of motor function… I guess the brain sort of short-circuits itself. It feels like the Alien is trying to burst out of your back and/or prick.
I managed to talk myself through three of them, though I willingly admit I got myself so blind drunk for two of them, I didn’t realize I’d passed the SOBs for a little while. Two others I passed without too much an issue; no panic attack or anything, just not a good afternoon/evening. The two in the ER were big muthas. Thank God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit for intravenous Dilaudid.
tl;dr
Kidney stones are fucking terrible, and I don’t know how anyone could handle these damn things before 1920 and the painkillers we have now.
Don’t forget, before like 1982, Western Civ didn’t drink NEARLY as much water as we chug nowadays. Hydration? There was milk, booze, and a drink from the water hose. Most people from say, 1940 could probably shoot Uma Thurman in the chest with the amount of rocks in their kidneys.
http://57.media.tumblr.com/b4da459b406e1e69ff82a3bab7731fb8/tumblr_nt2kop9iZI1rc7zl1o5_400.gif
I’ve passed a couple of smallish stones before. I hate that initial back pain. So fucking awful. I can’t imagine what a bigger one is going to feel like, but I love salt and I never drink enough fluids, so I’m in the demographic.
In a follow-up to your statement above, you’re spot-on correct. I can’t drink coffee on a regular basis due to GERD. Acid reflux is actually what made Uncle Sam say I wasn’t fit to be in his military. Anyway, for my caffeine fix, I switched to tea. Apparently, tea is one of the worst things you can consume in terms of kidney stone production. As much as I love me a good eight hot cups of tea, or an iced tea with lunch or dinner, this was only exacerbating the issue. I’d get wasted at night, drink four or five cups of tea to wake up the day… This pattern held for years. Shockingly enough, this when I was having all these stones.
Yes, hydration absolutely matters. I’ve made it point to cut out the tea, and drink a couple of cups of water before bed. Cause doesn’t always mean correlation, but, I haven’t had one since Christmas 2014, and the subsequent urologist appointment which laid it all out.
http://57.media.tumblr.com/0f4ba00e60cc6413d471ad3d35e7473e/tumblr_nt1wutTisU1rk35gzo1_250.gif
http://57.media.tumblr.com/6ef90d8a2392916394bbd9df3ac19e56/tumblr_nsj003cTNm1rbrhnko1_500.gif
This story has scarred me. For life.
It’s also why I drink water like a motherfucker. 80 oz. on a slow day. Shit like that terrifies me, especially since my body has a weird-ass reaction to painkillers.
http://57.media.tumblr.com/ccae527002254b5c1946e89aa707a4a4/tumblr_muvirtVM5z1s2yegdo1_400.gif
That sounds terrible. The closest I’ve come to that is being stoned in the Asian market and looking at kidneys.
http://57.media.tumblr.com/434c5d18ed05b20253154e834fc67b5f/tumblr_ninmiijdkR1slmaqto1_500.gif
We’ve all been there, man.
http://kilo943.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/hula-hoop-girl-9.gif
Can you do that thing where they break them up with shockwaves?
So here’s something I didn’t know I needed.
https://soundcloud.com/classicalairhorn
http://56.media.tumblr.com/c1ff293fdb8b09565dce01935a1853a2/tumblr_nsz4glOIAO1qzk2apo1_1280.jpg
WTF is that?
Because of the actions of certain few around here, I find myself rewatching Deadwood. Ever notice how Olyphant practically never blinks?
Well shit NOW I do.
I did, but I thought it was to show the character’s intensity. Now I’m gonna have to check Justified to see if he’s just a weirdo.
Every reaction shot of him he looks like he’s just feeling the affects of dysentery, or he is just plumb ready to kick someone’s ass. Or a mix of the two.
You just blew my ice cream away, man.
http://57.media.tumblr.com/70c83a8b0ecb4e13999de6889ad978fe/tumblr_nt2kop9iZI1rc7zl1o6_400.gif
http://i49.tinypic.com/2cr7ltu.jpg
I’m watching Spurs-Suns for no good reason. I don’t see Tim Duncan.
http://56.media.tumblr.com/67bb7082e74ea2e2273be9c953257148/tumblr_nt2tadpNDQ1rnyeudo1_500.jpg
INCONSISTENT SUPERFLUOUS “U” USAGE
First major drunken mistake of the night already made.
This is why you decide on a fake name BEFORE you go out for the night.
Carlos Danger’s already taken though.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GjiSm4ZPVKM
Another finger in the butt?
https://vimeo.com/8020719
http://56.media.tumblr.com/a8a98669ec4235e69040c8ddadea7689/tumblr_nszlssfiS41ubfgh6o1_1280.jpg
http://57.media.tumblr.com/cbba264bacb3149aa7bec31ba0b66d8b/tumblr_nssskwjRpD1sqf5tdo3_400.gif
http://57.media.tumblr.com/138ab955fc7e346767416178f0fb7de2/tumblr_nssskwjRpD1sqf5tdo1_400.gif
H Jon Benjamin (and I should not have to tell you who that is) has recorded a Jazz album.
THE MAN HAS NO ABILITY TO PLAY JAZZ MUSIC (or ANY music, for that matter), AND HE HAS RECORDED AN ALBUM. The interview is just fucked-up and funny:
http://www.npr.org/2016/01/19/463589100/comedian-jon-benjamins-jazz-album-is-full-of-real-untapped-un-talent
I bought it on vinyl for a friend. You can listen to it on Spotify, and yes, it is magical.
http://57.media.tumblr.com/b285eec13e3ae4766c72f271ba2d581b/tumblr_nrahqnde871s4vpfno1_250.gif
http://57.media.tumblr.com/e51a060cce9df0d3ac455c2fd3385042/tumblr_nshj6y47wb1ravaloo1_400.gif
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http://56.media.tumblr.com/15bca893fdc30eb20cd4ff25aaf963df/tumblr_nrwm5mZ68u1ql27nto1_1280.jpg
I’m not against those donuts. I am, however, against the fact that they were made solely to advertise for an extremely shitty movie that made a mockery out of all those games.
I don’t know if that is the real purpose; doughnut crowd wouldn’t seem to be the target audience for that movie. Would that movie even be on a cop’s radar?
http://57.media.tumblr.com/fe4be3f3842c7a64f43f5873e60f8001/tumblr_nsnnufxaNi1rynk4uo1_500.gif
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http://57.media.tumblr.com/2032c03030595ae9e363ee0a5c7d9519/tumblr_nt4txyAjBZ1r05fd6o4_r1_500.gif
One hell of a finish.
http://57.media.tumblr.com/4f4a6673359d5b8d3e31b0a73c13fbce/tumblr_nsqgcdzJv11qfap4co3_r1_400.gif
If I go knock on the door of a place, and tell them they have a shitty API, how likely are they to give me an interview?
A computer science firm? Probably. Hell, show enough cleavage and the geeks would probably put you in charge.
Then again, if their API sucks they’re probably not very good geeks to begin with.
At my work, API means something that is probably not the same thing it means in yours. Let’s just say I’m giggling.
http://56.media.tumblr.com/7e5e8878276d0820600630ecc5605b03/tumblr_nrwksur7BX1qe42q8o1_1280.jpg
God damn, job searching is the worst. Put a new resume up this weekend, and all I’ve gotten is Aflac and every insurance company trying to make me sell for them.
http://www.skintgraduate.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/Pyramid-Scheme.jpg
Wanna do a start up? I have inside information that every intermediary internet marketing company is the worst. Seriously, I can give you a list of established companies I could do better than in 6 weeks if you give me two other competent people.
As someone that is currently doing Sales Prospecting, MARCOM, CRM Administration and IT in the same position, I’m basically all you need from a marketing standpoint.
Cheers to that. It’s most likely drunken speculating, angry at how many incompetent dipshits have companies, but if I do puts shit together, you be in.
Shit, if Tech Bros can do it, why not us?
I don’t know…with just the two of us it’s all white, which is a plus, but it’s 50% female. That’s WAY too diverse for Silicon Valley. We need an Asian guy, and a couple of middle aged white dudes.
http://cdn.meme.am/instances/500x/58040660.jpg
I’m not…. shit. I AM nearly middle aged, I guess. And I have arather diverse background when it comes to IT and other functions. I can also act curmudgeounly upon request.
http://55.media.tumblr.com/df42a3908c93cb83b58ef64ba884125f/tumblr_inline_nqr95wx2Tk1rll1xc_500.gif
I think the biggest piece of advice I’d giving outgoing graduates is that they’re stepping into a working world full of incompetent dipshit and mere competence is a ticket to success.
http://33.media.tumblr.com/abea5b4ea146b697540666d129b2608b/tumblr_inline_nsqg6h5uvD1rlgonq_500.gif
http://57.media.tumblr.com/db40b0950069771efa702d7c2a600491/tumblr_nsqgcdzJv11qfap4co9_r1_400.gif
I’d be on board. All we’d need is two more competent people and we’re set!
I’d join in, but you’d still need two more competent people.
I’d hire you just to HRTN our office. You could probably turn it into a TV show that would be much more successful than we ever would, and we’d all live off the royalties.
Sounds like my perfect job!
Until the lawsuits start pouring in, but, hey, we need something to keep Horatio busy.
still need two more competent people.
But where are you going to find the two other competent people?
I learned today the next season of Archer premieres on March 31st. I hope the extra weight is worth it.
HOLY SHIT I’M GOING PFTCOMMENTER ALREADY.
Never go full PFTCommenter.
Another Thursday, another chapter of HRTN done.
If only I paid as much attention to RL deadlines…
Full on serial literature is the shit that will make us legit. YOU ARE THE CHARLES DICKENS OF US ALL. YOU ARE THE BEST OF DFO, YOU ARE THE WORST OF DFO.
I’m too legit
Too legit to quit!
Okay, it’s six o’clock. Time to stop pretending to work and start pretending I don’t have an alcohol problem.
Alcohol solution, not problem. Mostly because you’re probably drinking a solution.
It may have a cool name, but it also has a rectum for a mouth.
Eh, Peter King isn’t *that* cool of a name. Why’d you bring him up, anyhow?
/blatant misuse of comment editing powers
One-man human centipede.
How the fuck does Lee Stempniak have 12 goals?
I’m a sucker for odd alcohol tricks that may or may not actually improve the final product. Tonight I found a 375ml limited bottle from a local awesome booze maker of their 100% rye whiskey that is finished in Hair of the Dog Cherry Adam barrels (http://www.stonebarnbrandyworks.com/2015/01/straight-rye-cherry-adam-release-party.html). I have no idea if this will be any better than buying a proven rye, but damn if the bottle didn’t just spring into my hand.
Old School Zero at the liquor store (artist’s conception):
I was always a sucker for exotic barrel finishes:
BING BANG BOOM
Ice Stillers 3 — 2 Ice Flyers 6:00 left in 2nd.
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/61CSlSaymdL.jpg
I think I just watched the best doc I’ve ever watched. Nick Broomfield’s “Biggie & Tupac” is a treasure. I’m not too big on his “Suge Conspiracy” but I’m huge on his “I’ll just wander into your house like I’m not sure where I am but while I’m here I’ll ask you a few questions” approach to film-making. The thing is…he does it in such a weird self-effacing way that he’s not the focus of the narrative. But he is. But he’s not.
Broomfield: “Hey, you know what? Maybe we should interview Mr. Knight in prison. [shrugs shoulders] No one has interviewed him there? Well, I guess it’s about time then.” [ends up interviewing Suge Knight in prison]
Well, it is cute, in a “I’m gonna eat ya after I run these tendrils all over you” kinda way.
Tonight, I bought a barrel-aged stout called Deth’s Tar. On the box that contains the bottle it says, “Witness the firepower of this full operational Imperial Stout.” Sounds like someone was really killing at the anagram game.
And I’m currently witnessing its power.
I’d just wanna know if it makes one semi-operational.
True story: When I was in college I drank a shitton of whiskey one afternoon to find out if I would get Whiskey Dick. I did not. I was fully operational.
The folks who are writing about beer here might think about contacting breweries and asking for some free beer to review. Couldn’t hurt.
My entry for your so-called anagram game is “The ‘Tards”
Christ. When I go back to buy another bottle I’m definitely telling the clerk about this.
From 1947:
http://freethoughtblogs.com/pharyngula/files/2016/01/pizza_recipe-307×600.jpg
Biscuit dough and catsup. Pronounced “peet-sa.”
That might be the WASPiest thing ever.
And when it says “chili sauce,” it means this:
http://media.liveauctiongroup.net/i/4760/6892733_1.jpg?v=8C95FB7F4A87540
That looks like a Yinzer recipe my grandmother might have made if she was feeling particularly daring.
Lets all eats..raw beets.
This looks like someone indulged a poor old codgers final wish after he had a fever dream while watching Lawrence welk.
Complexity has its disadvantages.
They’re tiny, but they’re complex enough that we have no idea how they do what they do. It would probably be a useful thing to figure out.
I really love the Ice Buckeyes 3rd jersey. There I said it.
Just gonna leave this here.
The only thing more obnoxious than the New York vs Chicago pizza debate is the failure of people to realize not that there are other variants of pizza but realize neither of these style is the best pizza.
I agree with this in principle except for the fact that Chicago pizza is still not actually pizza. It is just a big-ass casserole.
Search your feelings. You know it to be true.
Give me a definition of pizza. And while you’re at it, give me a definition of salad. These are not well defined terms. The majority of people call it pizza, thus it is pizza.
Eh. Semantics. I like both.
I’m already fucking up basic sentences, so I’ll blame the Deth’s Tar.
Tardigrade needs to be the next Chicago Bears mascot. Too perfect.
On this, the eve of the Great East Coast Snowapolloozapolkalypse, I wish all of you hearty East Coasties a safe journey to the grocery store as you stock up on food and the very essential alcohol selections.
You can probably forget the ice.
Stay safe out there. Hug something. Drink something.
I’m glad you’re opening up the hugging options to inanimate things.
The first season of Vikings is awesome. I may have to go rewatch it my own self.