Greetings, various iced and snowed in Commentist Party members! And those who aren’t part of my East Coast biased world ,, smh.
Let the EPL warm you with three reasonably good 10am Saturday fixtures. 5th place Manure takes on 10th place (but rising!) Soton on NBCSN. The Saints could relegate United to the middle class scrum with a win, and possibly get Louis Van Gaal his long-rumoured pink slip. USA opts for 4th place Spurs and 8th position Palace, both sides mostly running in place and failing to take advantage of opportunities for upward mobility. Foxy Footy (2nd position based on goal differential) and Stoke (7th) should rate as a better match than either of those two on paper, but nobody ever wants to watch fucking Stoke, so Extra Time it is.
City and the Hammers square off at 12:30 on big NBC, in a very meaningful clash for both sides. City have the best goal differential in the League, and could easily be in 1st after the weekend ends. West Ham is in 6th and only 8 points behind, but feels like a couple of classes below in quality, and I suspect that will show up on the pitch.
Sunday will indeed be a fun day, as the EPL limbers up the American sports fan with beloved (but kinda shitty) Toffees taking on the still-reeling-but-at-least-out-of-relegation-zone-for-now Swans at 8:30. Arsenal takes on the side they hate most in Chelski at 11, both matches on NBCSN.
One college basketballing item of note…
Duke at NC State (2:00, CBS)
Look, fellas. This season is over. I get it. The offense is a giant fucking turd and not subject to change. There is no hope of being the fucking Holes on their return visit. But serious, Duke isn’t very good, either. We can at least have this one moment, probably the only time we gets to play on national (broadcast) teevee. Or at the very minimum…don’t embarrass yourselves and the desperate, housebound alumni like myself. OK? Pretty please??
up to 10!
Setup for soul crushing defeat….complete.
If your team is anything like Cuse they need as much of a lead as possible before they begin their collapse.
Yes…sadly, this is a familiar scenario.
British ads on my stream are so much nicer than 4 — 3 GOOD GUYS WOO
Good guys? Don’t you mean perennial underachievers?
3-3 GENO WOO
My GIF impression of the NCSU/Duke game thus far….
Hey….getting better….
Holy shit…airborne. Eat shit, Duke.
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view/136168/f-a-18-carrier-launch-o.gif
Ice Stillers 1 — 2 Ice Lions end 2nd.
Fifth Element is on tv. I’m no longer convinced I should go outside.
http://56.media.tumblr.com/2ee294cc80fc1a2189ab7376292d511b/tumblr_nxpor0JU0l1skr4hwo1_1280.png
http://i.imgur.com/RlJxW7f.gif
Are imgur gifs still working?
I’ve been avoiding them just in case.
No.
http://56.media.tumblr.com/6962d294d9eddf9fcf45146bde484345/tumblr_na98r4pwCX1rmtzhmo1_1280.jpg
Invited!!!
I did see that you had folks in Homer; how many times have you been up there?
http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/5c/0c/26/5c0c2603571557b8153e6e305574ca9f.jpg
Only once, so long ago I barely remember it. Gonna try to go up this spring/summer again though, during a cross continental drive. Assuming things work out so as I can go at all (family obligations, etc)….also Pacific Northwest and Colorado, among other destinations. I’m totes excited.
http://57.media.tumblr.com/fd1cc60f7802a5ad885f80ecede3a288/tumblr_o0zkm5kdFq1upy5cdo1_400.gif
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKcAYMb5uk4
I’ve had a migraine from hell for 24+ hours and y’all go crazy weird in the Fri night free for all.
Outside of my last resort of a lobotomy, what tricks do any of y’all who suffer migraines have for this shit? Mine aren’t working this time.
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.joystiq.com/media/2007/01/asplode.jpg
you’ve maxed out on Imitrex already? Go to the ER and get the IV stuff if goes any longer. That’s all I have when the 3rd dose of Imitrex at the 24-hour mark does nothing (and the oxy I have on hand doesn;t stop the cycle).
I have 800mg Ibuprofen that usually works. Imitrex seems to never work for me, or at least it hasn’t in the past. I might need to try it out again.
A little history: A number of years back, I ended up with a migraine for 8-9 straight weeks. After numerous doctor visits, an MRI/Catscan*, and various meds – my doctor actually suggested alternative medicine. So I got acupuncture. The day after, my migraine as the worst every in the history of ever – couldn’t move a finger without throwing up. Then it went away the following day and I did not get another migraine until over 4-5 years later.
This might be time to get acupuncture again. And it’s covered! #thanksobama
* I always forget – does MRI or Catscan produce the black/white “sliced” scans of your brain – and naturally the technician decided to point out I have a polyp in my sinus cavity… just adding to the stress I had then, I was the lead on a $50M project for work at the wise old age of 27. And the polyp had nothing to do with the migraine.
yeah, if you don’t have imitrex on hand I would go the ER and get an IV cocktail of whatever to stop it, now that it’s the weekend. You will probably get imitrex AND dilaudid in the IV. Feel great when you come to.
But if acupuncture worked that well before, DEFINITELY do it again. It’s one of those things that either is a godsend, does nothing, or makes it worse. Just depends on the person. But I wouldn;t wait all the way until Monday.
Midrin worked wonders for me during the brief time I had ophthalmic migraine:
http://www.webmd.com/drugs/2/drug-6603/midrin-oral/details
It’s the Kevin Punter show!
Here’s a quick one-minute sneak peek from the upcoming Venture Bros season premier next weekend:
http://spinoff.comicbookresources.com/2016/01/22/watch-a-sneak-peek-of-the-venture-bros-season-premiere/
I’m still holding out hope for full frontal from Dr Girlfriend.
http://i222.photobucket.com/albums/dd155/Doctor_Girlfriend/DrGirlfriendCheerleader_200.gif
I’m not a cartoon nudity guy but…yes.
Me neither. Her and Carol/Cheryl/Cherlene is about it.
You’d think Dr G’s voice would be a dealbreaker, but it only makes her that much hotter.
/did I just say all that out loud?
Cherlene (OUTLAW COUNTRY! WOOOO!!) was my favorite part of Archer Vice. They did good work on that character design.
Best I can do on short notice:
http://img12.deviantart.net/2b47/i/2014/098/1/4/dr__mrs__the_monarch__dr__girlfriend__by_lafmodel-d7do2py.jpg
Dr. Girlfriend; talk dirty to me (no homo).
Welp, I know what I’ll be doing on January 31st at midnight. The question is, WHERE will I be doing it?
I’ve said this many times before, but Jackson Publick and Doc Hammer were the ones who came up with the name “Rikki-Tikki-Deadly”, and I am grateful for this and all of their other myriad creations.
FUUUUUCK YES!!!!
Stolen from reddit and reformulated: What does Jerry Richardson call five black people having sex?
A threesome.
Yay for dickhead snow plow drivers….
http://tribzap2it.files.wordpress.com/2014/03/steve-keeley-snow-plow.gif
http://25.media.tumblr.com/8601947bddbf9628467f53dd17a31c70/tumblr_myqq5kfaP91qhkbk8o1_400.gif
Cheatin’ for more than 33 years….is the gist.
I just put up a big wooden barrier in front of my mailbox three minutes before the town took their first run at it.
The barrier stood tall. I am unreasonably happy about this.
Note to self….buy this before next winter. Stock heavily with weed.
http://carzz.co/what-snow-cool-vw-campers-buses-and-vans-carzz_308077_xl.jpg
And this just makes me sad….
http://www.americantracktruck.com/uploads/images/Gallery/Subaru/Lady-Niva-Switzerland-Lada-Niva-snow-tracks-dominator-truck-tracks-track-kit-system-1.jpg
Where do I sign up for this cross country tour?
Hell, we might not leave the driveway…
I’m ok with that. Just don’t let BeastMode’s characters into the van, and we’ll be ok. No matter how much Blonde threatens us.
Also invited…
Yes
Good lord.
http://56.media.tumblr.com/53588c0f902dd0d3ba304818caec227b/tumblr_nqwliyDKML1r5e698o1_500.jpg
Henchman #2: “But…. you’re wearing bandages now… why not just wear the bandages over your face and say you were in an accident?”
(Bandaged boss mulls this over for a few minutes…)
Boss; You have a good point, henchman #2.
(Shoots henchman #2 dead)
“Anyone else got any smart-ass comments too late for them to be useful?”
a favourite:
Vols pushing South Cackalacky so far. Interesting.
Streaming Ice Stillers 0 — 1 Ice Lions already woo.
Lost the stream there for a while.
1 — 1 happened sometime by somebody.
No it didn’t, I misheard that and can’t see the score because of a pop-up that won’t go away.
Then the Lions scored shorthanded. 2 — 0.
We did best Simpsons character, but best Futurama character? Bender is the obvious answer, but I have a soft spot for Hermes.
Bender is the most fun, and most likely the DFO Spirit Robot.
Zoidberg is pretty much the most quotable, because everything he says is weird and funny.
But the best Futurama characters are the Harlem Globetrotters. Something about making the longest running joke of the sports world into interplanetary supergeniuses who randomly show up on Earth and challenge us to a basketball game is just brilliant.
Also, what game were those refs watching?
ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD, obv
Also, Nibbler.
Indian food with french toast and scrambled eggs.
So I just read that Fox has ordered a pilot for a series based on the Exorcist. From all the silly-ass reboots (24, Prison Break, Heroes Reborn), and the goddamn remakes, do we really need to keep mining shit like this instead of making NEW series?
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9g22gHrO01qllwmfo1_500.gif
This is funny and all, but what’s the show gonna be about? A weekly possession that gets exorcised, and an over-arching plot about the priest’s descent into madness, despair, and alcoholism? Hooray, it’s House but with a catholic priest and less fun.
Oh, I’m not at all disagreeing with you. I rarely turn my clicker to any of the broadcast networks anymore.
I wasn’t trying to be argumentative or anything, I’m just tired of the big networks, the ones with the money to make decent shows, opting instead to give us the same rehashed shit, year in, year out.
Thankfully, FX and some of the other top-tier cable channels take chances and give us great shows like You’re the Worst, Terriers, Longmire (yes it’s great and I will brook no argument on that), The Expanse, the incredible Fargo, Mr Robot, and the like, but sometimes those types of shows struggle to find an audience or don’t draw anything like the inexplicable NCICSI: Chicago Sewage Workers ratings, and then they start giving us rehashed shit like this. I know it’s a Fox order, but this will probably get shoved onto FX, meaning some other show will get the ax…
I just hate the state of major network TV right now, and while we are living in a golden age for serialised television, I wish more networks would take a chance on new material rather than this “pop will eat itself” bullshit.
Interesting that you mentioned The Expanse. I was seriously wondering if I was the only person watching that. 😀
(but I’m a couple episodes behind so no spoilers, plz)
I won’t spoil anything, I’m just happy someone else is watching. The production design value is off the charts for that show. I’m very happy with it so far.
This might not be in either of y’alls preferred show genres, but I just binged Dark Matter – a SyFy show I believe – and while they hit certain movie/tv character and story tropes, most of the writing is decent, the sets are pretty good, the action is well done, and most of the acting is good. Also, the show seems to be setting up having 2 strong female leads.
It took 2 or 3 episodes before things started moving forward, but the entire first season of 13 episodes was solid.
I was wondering how Dark matter was; I’d seen the ads on SyFy, but I never remembered when it was on. I’ll give it a shot.
Doing the Away Win At Old Traffiord/No Car To Dig Out Double Happy Dance!
Does that give you the double for the season? Forgot if you won at Saint Mary’s too.
Couldn’t overcome 1 — 3 deficit, 2 — 3 FT.
http://56.media.tumblr.com/21ebdd1e912d66e32de820c641538a43/tumblr_o0sfyccVEd1qk6saio1_1280.jpg
I used to work with this guy; clueless chest starer.
http://56.media.tumblr.com/5dee9ef4b8853a599006de1d07bf57f2/tumblr_nzk23e102j1qk6saio1_1280.jpg
If you didn’t dress like a goddamn slut it wouldn’t be an issue, Moose.
And my tits are not near as big as several of the actual ladies in the office.
We were on a site visit and he actually followed some women around in LAX. “Dude! WTF?”
It got weird on the open thread last night.
http://56.media.tumblr.com/b84a8fc4bfece97c5df7d4f36c749697/tumblr_o0v1if3EX01u9127so1_500.jpg
NICE and weird…..
Damn you North Carolina!!! It’s just a little fricking snow.
All booze stores in my county are closed today. Guess maybe I shoulda investigated that before heading out.
But….WallyMart has beer. Between that and the leftover distilled spirits lying around, I should be able to dull the pain of NCSU/Duke.
12 mile round trip took an hour, but I managed to not kill meself nor anyone else. Nor incur any insurance claims.
We’ll call it a win.
/but up yours anyway booze stores
I feel bad for you guys that live in places with really weird liquor laws. There will soon be a Trader Joe’s opening in my almost literally backyard and I’ll be able to walk to get any alcohol I want. California: What a State!
http://57.media.tumblr.com/43a7da06497a595cdbcac55132db795c/tumblr_nt1p2g9aaa1u9g95uo1_400.gif
AZ was the same way. Grocery store, convenience store. Hell, even Walgreens.
It’s great to be able to pick up soup, adult diapers, and Bacardi 151 all in one stop.
/yes, i’ve done that
//no, the adult diapers were not for me
We need more snow porn stories.
Regale us with your snowed in wintry tales of woe and wonder.
Hey, it’s 56 and it may drizzle today!
I may go for a bike ride. MAYBE.
I’m following the good Doktor’s advice and hitting the gym. Think I may see “The Revenant” at the movies and maybe grab some sushi after.
I’ve got a full dance card!
I got you a “cold” story. Sometimes it’s so damn cold that if you don’t drive your vehicle for 36 hours the tires will freeze in their parked shape. You have to drive slowly for a few minutes as they return to their original ’roundness’.
I lived in the Midwest for several years in my younger days and I don’t miss it much.
I remember having to carry a lighter in my pocket just in case you needed to melt the key hole in your car door to unlock it. .
This was back in the dark ages before the keyless unlock.
Can’t say I miss it all that much.
Thunder Snow! !!
Two decent noon games leading up to my wolven sort – Boomer Sooner at BayBay (ESPN) and Northwester at Indiana (ESPN2). I will watch whichever game Dan Dakich doesn’t announce.
Tin foil hat update – fucking dumbass Governor has been on TV telling people NOT to go to the arena for the State/Duke game. Imagine the TV networks and politicos refusing to move the game time AND telling fans not to show up for a key rival game to disadvantage their beloved Holes or Devils. FUCK YOU “Mayor Pat” the swing constituency that is independently minded NC State conservative voters (I’m straight left, but lots of “common sense” wolven conservatives do split their tickets and make the difference in statewide elections) will remember shit like this.
Sunny and 12 out there. Time for a haircut.
/a few months ago at barbershop
Old Man: “Why are we letting all these damn immigrants in here? It’s not right.”
Barber: [a Polish immigrant of 15 years or so] “Canada was founded by immigrants. We are all immigrants.”
Old Man: [realizes what he has said to a recent immigrant] “Uh…right. Yes, yes we are all from somewhere else.” [changes subject]
/ten minutes later
Old Man: “Why are we bringing in all those immigrants? Jesus!”
Barber: [sighs]
Fucking Polacks.
Barcelona won 2-1 over Málaga.
No one cares.
This is what passes for an upset/high drama in La Liga.
Well, it WAS an away game…
Louis Van Gaal. The face of a man headed to the gallows.
No matter the score. The man is a bulldog.
Lovely strike by someone from the Spurs. (Alli?)
/I know not a thing about EPL
Yup, was him. Real 4-team race now, with Manure dropping way the fuck back. Spurs and Lester are for reelz.
I just saw his other goal. Holy Banana Cakes!
On behalf of Sill…
SAINTS WOO!!!!!!!!!!
Now Palace hit the bar TWICE off a set piece. Poor bastards.
What I wouldn’t give for Everton to have a keeper the caliber of Lloris.
A 2nd for Lester WOO
1-nil to the good for Palace and Foxy Footy
Morning, imaginary friends. I think last night’s whisky, sleep, hot tea finally kicked this head cold enough that I can go out and play in the DC snow today. After I finish eating the french toast and blueberries I made for myself. Now which one of you took my boots?
On my way to the booze store…wish me luck .
/whew that was close….guns engine
Holy shit what a save!
Super jelly of all y’all who are snowed in.
Also, a simple google image search for jelly turns up a jello penis on the first page because of course it does.
My wife and I are dividing a cinnamon bun that is bigger than the head of the cat currently glaring at me because I’m not sharing it.
Fuck off cat, you’re lucky you’re inside.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxdt8vzLYd1r9z84ho1_500.jpg
Currently it is 27 with cloudy skies. Time for gym. Saturday morning, hungover work out, just like when I was in college! Except I barely went to the gym in college. But whatever.
my sister always said that was the best hangover cure – it sweats out after 10-15 minutes.
That’s BS. More dehydration doesn’t help something that has dehydration as a primary cause.
The phrase “But it will squirm its way to Shnidely” sounds like it should be uttered in a silent movie featuring a young widow tied to train tracks by a mustachioed villain but no, we’re just watching EPL.
Damn near two feet of snow on the ground here in Eastern PA, and the wind is some ungodly, high-speed, wailing thing that makes you feel as though you will never be warm again.
Someone tell the Starks: Winter is HERE.
Fuuuuuuck! Norwich got the Málaga treatment from Klopp. God I love the German Elton John.
Could Mignolet be any worse?
Yes. Yes he could be.
The 15 minutes of Norwich/Shite I’ve just watched has been entertaining, if irritating as fuck. DAMN IT, Norwich, you had ONE JOB!!
Well, TBS is showing She’s The Man. Tatum makes a good 4-4-2 forward.
Final score 5-4. It’s like they’re playing baseball out there!
Lester / Stoke should be good. As the Men in Blazers would say “Ho Ohhh Day Vid”. That’s the most pleasantly homoerotic listen oit there.