Well, somehow we made it. I’m so glad that we didn’t have to turn the car around due to bad behavior. Does everyone know which teams are playing? That’s what I thought. Between that and Hippo’s excellent breakdown of the game I’ve nothing to say about that end of things but I would like to share with you some “behind the scenes” tidbits about this very site that I think you might be interested in. I’m not going to name names…just yet.
Way back in 2007 the founder of this site, a grizzled, PTSD-wracked veteran of 3 tours of the second invasion of Iraq (anyone that has a beef with this version of events can take it up with me in the boardroom tomorrow morning) decided that there should be a new-ish football site. With a ton of moxy and just one good arm he created “Abandon Hope All Ye Football Fans That Enter”. That site was a disaster. I mean, it was right there in the title. Who the hell would want to join? Years later, after his extended recuperation at the St. Tunison Sanitarium For The Hopeless he decided to give it one more go.
It was a super-tough haul, putting this site together with nothing more than used scotch tape and pigeon feathers but he got the damn thing to work. But would Door Flies Open fly? A number of lawyers flocked to the site but it was immediately apparent that as a result, the site lacked “any sense of a moral compass”, according to internet pundits. At that point the site was opened up to almost everyone. Normal people came to the site in the dozens-including yours truly.
What followed was a ton of hard work. Night after night, huddled together in a dumpster underneath a single street lamp, we batted around the questions. “How can we take this site to the next level?” and “Is no one going to throw some pizza crusts in here?-I’m hungry!” and “Could you please not urinate on my pizza crust?”. We learned a lot about each other. Who knew that someone could be triggered by two exclamation marks but not one or three? And the hygiene, OH, THE PERSONAL HYGIENE!
So here we are now. We’ve morphed into a mid-major behemoth of a football-specific website that is bound to knock off a #2 or #3 ranked site as soon as we’re allowed back into the tourney. “Ongoing Pattern of Irregular Prescriptions”, my ass. The Internet is clearly out to get “The Little Site That Could”. We’ll survive and thrive…and maybe, just maybe, I can finally get that $12 Toys R Us coupon I was promised at the outset…
Jesus, we’re already down to Obscure Kubiak Facts? It’s only the first half and it’s close…
http://40.media.tumblr.com/10087e110243be93940119b8e95dba51/tumblr_o0l41yoHfI1uayd9mo1_1280.jpg
Yes
That came up in a GIS for this+has+been+awful.
???
STOP running on 2nd and short!!! Hasn;t worked fucking once.
Slowly closing in on 2 hours since the kickoff
Okay guys, we need the most irritating, ear crushing sound effect for our graphic. What you got?
The old dialup modem sound! Or these announcers.
I’m with Suburban Housewife Mac. The smoke detector low battery chirp.
I got news for you, asshole!!!! I heard it the whole fucking time!!!!
Sarah Palin endorsing Trump?
This game. Goddamn.
STOP SAYING NORWOOD YOU INSENSITIVE FUCKTARDS!
I haven’t seen this many dropped balls since Katy Perry’s halftime show last year.
Awesome
ROBY WOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PUT IN BROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
/pours more scotch, takes another benadryl
http://web.kitsapsun.com/archive/2004/08-29/img/20040829-010545-pic-828240119.jpg
This playcalling by Carolina has been terrible
?w=540&h=419
Not grounding?
SERIOUS
No way in hell was it past the LOS.
NAWTACEPTION. I mean seriously, what IS A CATCH?
? Fat guy and INTs ?
That was Brian Hoyer like.
Terrible decision.
Nice throw you robotic moron!
Me, just now, out loud:
“YES! GET DOWN! NO! NEVER MIND! KEEP GOING!”
Peypey pick
HERE WE GO
Shocker.
FATMANCEPTION
FATMANCEPTION!
PEYPEYCEPTION!!!!!!!!
MOAR KICKS FOR THE FIELD GOAL GODS
Errrr
no moar Hillman
I haven’t seen a halftime show since Michael Jackson CBS, and I’m not breaking the streak.
CJ Anderson going full Terrell Davis
Mr Anderson
CJ Anderson is ruthless.
You know what makes me happy? CJ GETTING ALL TEH CARRIES
Did someone tell the Panthers that tackling is no longer allowed?
I’m just whiffin’ so I don’t get fined.
Are.
You.
Fucking.
Joking.
Apparently.
They.
Are.
Not.
Panthers fail at tackling.
All those children were fathered by Eli Manning
What, by artificial insemination?
Now is the time for a Keuchly pick six
Agreed.
NO SERIOUSLY COME ON
SERIOUSLY AGREED
CLOSE ENOUGH
Another opioid? Yes, voice in Hippo’s head, that is a swell idea!!
Depends- are you constipated yet? Apparently that’s a thing.
I had a nice big glass of my kale/cucumber/squash/apple/lime juice this afternoon. I should shit just fine!
Bad Santa on call?
GET BANGIN’ FOLKS!!!
— The NFL
WeatherTech: Cuz Your Family Is Disgusting
We’ve replaced the football with a greased pig. Let’s see if the Carolina Panthers notice.
fuck fuckety fuck fuck fuck
I did not see the late hit at all. :-/
These balls must be greasier than….something greasy and funny.
Beer.
Roman Reins’ hair
WOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love ya, Darian Stewart
Fat man fumble
wooooooooooooooooooooo
I am not seriously trying to watch this game. Have a Mila Kunis/Natalie Portman gif which deviates from my earlier theme but who cares
http://img.pandawhale.com/47303-mila-Kunis-Natalie-Portman-hot-lzYs.gif
Needs more Lucy Lawless lezzing out with that blonde in Spartacus
NEVER MIND NO NEED
Aw, I was all excited to see a fat guy run, but then he fumbles.