Well, somehow we made it. I’m so glad that we didn’t have to turn the car around due to bad behavior. Does everyone know which teams are playing? That’s what I thought. Between that and Hippo’s excellent breakdown of the game I’ve nothing to say about that end of things but I would like to share with you some “behind the scenes” tidbits about this very site that I think you might be interested in. I’m not going to name names…just yet.
Way back in 2007 the founder of this site, a grizzled, PTSD-wracked veteran of 3 tours of the second invasion of Iraq (anyone that has a beef with this version of events can take it up with me in the boardroom tomorrow morning) decided that there should be a new-ish football site. With a ton of moxy and just one good arm he created “Abandon Hope All Ye Football Fans That Enter”. That site was a disaster. I mean, it was right there in the title. Who the hell would want to join? Years later, after his extended recuperation at the St. Tunison Sanitarium For The Hopeless he decided to give it one more go.
It was a super-tough haul, putting this site together with nothing more than used scotch tape and pigeon feathers but he got the damn thing to work. But would Door Flies Open fly? A number of lawyers flocked to the site but it was immediately apparent that as a result, the site lacked “any sense of a moral compass”, according to internet pundits. At that point the site was opened up to almost everyone. Normal people came to the site in the dozens-including yours truly.
What followed was a ton of hard work. Night after night, huddled together in a dumpster underneath a single street lamp, we batted around the questions. “How can we take this site to the next level?” and “Is no one going to throw some pizza crusts in here?-I’m hungry!” and “Could you please not urinate on my pizza crust?”. We learned a lot about each other. Who knew that someone could be triggered by two exclamation marks but not one or three? And the hygiene, OH, THE PERSONAL HYGIENE!
So here we are now. We’ve morphed into a mid-major behemoth of a football-specific website that is bound to knock off a #2 or #3 ranked site as soon as we’re allowed back into the tourney. “Ongoing Pattern of Irregular Prescriptions”, my ass. The Internet is clearly out to get “The Little Site That Could”. We’ll survive and thrive…and maybe, just maybe, I can finally get that $12 Toys R Us coupon I was promised at the outset…
Who is who?
dammit cotch
Are we sure this isn’t a Thursday night?
Ginn doing good things is…weird.
Give him time…
halftime adjustment is going after Talib
CBS is incompetent.
Panther halftime report: we sucked.
So I just got back and I’m refereeing a territorial dispute between our two rescue cats and what appears to be our prospective third rescue cat.
Are we doing a second half live-blog or what?
Also this game is not going at all how I saw it and I can’t wait for Manning to somehow be named the MVP.
If Carolina wins, Talib is the MVP
Agreed. Holy shit is he an idiot.
Is that you Maron?
BLEERGH CRETIN WITH THE CALL
blasphemer
When I was younger and learning about the Roman empire, I posed a question to myself. Would it be better to be part of the rise of a civilization, when things are kinda shitty but getting better quickly, or part of the decadent decline of a civilization, when it’s all conspicuous consumption and poor prospects?
The hoopla/commercials/half time of this game is providing a convincing argument against the second option.
The small bits of actual football are good though.
You are aware that this is the Stoned Poindexter Paradox from Revenge Of The Nerds…
What if C A T actually spelled DOG?
Considering we’re living in the decline of the American Empire, there’s your answer.
sad Hippo
Ginn, you pussy…cut that shit back in and get the extra 3 yards.
Right?
Even Ginn knew he never would have held on to the ball if he did that.
Valid point.
Ginn almost dropped that. Which would have been HILARIOUS
Ted Ginn did a good.
Didn’t see the Jeep ad but I know well enough already that they’re pieces of shit. My aunt bought one brand-new in 2007 and it was completely rusted out and shot in five years, still within the warranty period. Biggest shitbox I’ve ever seen, and there’s a guy a couple blocks over from me driving a Lada.
Every Jeep owner I know brags about the fact that when they need a replacement part, they can use a part from any other model like a Lego kit. Jeep’s biggest selling part is that they never change anything, so at least you can find a replacement when shit eventually breaks.
Both offenses are facing the question, “What do you do when their guys are better than your guys?”
THROW IT TO LUCAS
My sister on Phill Simms: “His hair is the same color as his skin…”
Serious question, when was there a jeep in the terminator movies
The H-K pursuit flashback from the first one?
End of T2 when she’s driving in the Mexican desert
The list of shit I hate and will never buy is getting longer and longer…
Oh dear god I’m drinking that Bai shit.
It was on special and I’d never seen that ad I SWEAR
I’m sorry. It’s probably not to late to stop being a horrible douche.
Someone brought some to our party cause it was on sale. They had never heard of it either
Beyonce’s gotta squat like 675 minimum.
No coconut is safe.
More Rashida at her sexiest
http://gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Ann-Perkins-Trying-to-Drink-Out-of-Straw.gif
I want to love her so much, but I know her three favorite sexy words are stop, no, and don’t.
That new show she’s in is pretty crappy.
Did anyone else think the Jeep commercial was gonna be for Colonial Williamsburg again?
Best athlete tweet of all time.
Old Man Boner, brought to him by Cialis, proud sponsor of the NFL!
Rashida Jones to enjoy as you waste time for the last 20 minutes of the Super Bowl halftime
Yes, please.
I actually really enjoyed that show.
http://media-2.web.britannica.com/eb-media/58/129958-004-C9B8B89D.jpg
Stockholm Syndrome is an ugly thing.
Bullshit. There have been far worse ones
Meh…while we’re waiting…a proven crowd favorite.
Wait, so I have to make Jeeps now? So what would I be paying them for?
Oh, damn it. Du’s is closed today.
@ OSZ: Any other recs?
Shit. What part of town are you in?
Maybe a Lardo is open nearby. Lardo is good good shit.
That’s what I’m thinking. I’m in Goose Hollow. I’ll just go to the one downtown.
Fingers crossed.
Google says it’s open. If not, I’ll just pick up something down the street at a food cart.
Ohhhhhh Tilt or Bunk Bar… not sure if Bunk is open though
The bar in NE is.
The one on Water is, too.
Pirate Sloth mentioned the Acrop?
Yeah. My bad. I didn’t see it before.
That’s a strip club with great steaks
So I guess I know where we’re going when I visit you guys in Portland?
Yup yup yup
No time for love, Dr. Jones.
Yeah that shit sucked
I knew that would be shit, and it managed to be even shittier than I could imagine.
That Marino/Baldwin/Elliot commercial was the best so far.
Those fans were faking their excitement when Coldplay performed. Trust me, I know faking when I hear it
I’m going to go to Vivid Video headquarters next week and pitch my halftime show idea to them. Even a halftime lemon party would be better than this.
The halftime show:
http://cdn.meme.am/images/300x/12310428.jpg
Amazon just made me hate them.
Bruno Mars > Whatever the fuck that was
I feel sick even saying this because it shows how much of a nerd I am, but my first thought on seeing that Hulk Coke commercial was that Oreo should turn this into a commercial with DC.
Oh thank Christ.
Never been so happy for commercials in my life.
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view6/4659839/mass-games-o.gif
Really…we are taking our cues from fucking North Korea now?!?
http://49.media.tumblr.com/fa0572021f2152c6e84e0e9e459c2a49/tumblr_mqpheoG1FH1qzft56o1_400.gif
You can’t thank the audience. They didn’t come here for you.
Well that was certainly a thing that happened.
Cannibal corpse for Super Bowl LI
http://i.imgur.com/c4jt321.png
THIS IS GOODEL’S FAULT!
BRING BACK FOOTBALL
I’LL ACCEPT CLEVELAND VS TENNESSEE
I DON’T CARE
They’ve succeeded in making Beyonce unappealing. Bra..fucking..vo.
I wasn’t alive during any of them, but I miss random marching band halftime shows.
NEEDZ MORE STANFORD MARCHING BAND
UP WITH PEOPLE
PUFF THE MAGIC DRAGON!!!
Wait, that was an Orange Bowl …
This is like a perfect storm of crap…
No Janet Jackson on that montage?