Your “Finally!” And “It’s All Over After This?!” Super Bowl Open Thread

Well, somehow we made it. I’m so glad that we didn’t have to turn the car around due to bad behavior. Does everyone know which teams are playing? That’s what I thought. Between that and Hippo’s excellent breakdown of the game I’ve nothing to say about that end of things but I would like to share with you some “behind the scenes” tidbits about this very site that I think you might be interested in. I’m not going to name names…just yet.

Way back in 2007 the founder of this site, a grizzled, PTSD-wracked veteran of 3 tours of the second invasion of Iraq (anyone that has a beef with this version of events can take it up with me in the boardroom tomorrow morning) decided that there should be a new-ish football site. With a ton of moxy and just one good arm he created “Abandon Hope All Ye Football Fans That Enter”. That site was a disaster. I mean, it was right there in the title. Who the hell would want to join? Years later, after his extended recuperation at the St. Tunison Sanitarium For The Hopeless he decided to give it one more go.

It was a super-tough haul, putting this site together with nothing more than used scotch tape and pigeon feathers but he got the damn thing to work. But would Door Flies Open fly? A number of lawyers flocked to the site but it was immediately apparent that as a result, the site lacked “any sense of a moral compass”, according to internet pundits. At that point the site was opened up to almost everyone. Normal people came to the site in the dozens-including yours truly.

What followed was a ton of hard work. Night after night, huddled together in a dumpster underneath a single street lamp, we batted around the questions. “How can we take this site to the next level?” and “Is no one going to throw some pizza crusts in here?-I’m hungry!” and “Could you please not urinate on my pizza crust?”. We learned a lot about each other. Who knew that someone could be triggered by two exclamation marks but not one or three? And the hygiene, OH, THE PERSONAL HYGIENE!

So here we are now. We’ve morphed into a mid-major behemoth of a football-specific website that is bound to knock off a #2 or #3 ranked site as soon as we’re allowed back into the tourney. “Ongoing Pattern of Irregular Prescriptions”, my ass. The Internet is clearly out to get “The Little Site That Could”. We’ll survive and thrive…and maybe, just maybe, I can finally get that $12 Toys R Us coupon I was promised at the outset…

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blaxabbath

INAPPROPRIATE USE OF MICROSOFT SURFACE PRO TABLET: THE MICROSOFT SURFACE PRO, OFFICIAL TABLET COMPUTER OF THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE!

Doktor Zymm

I’M GONNA DRINK SO MUCH BUDWEISER WHILE USING MY SURFACE!

Redshirt
indieguy

her hair looks like raw bacon

ballsofsteelandfury

WTF is this shit? I’ve got work in the morning!

Spur

What type of gangbang is this?

Brick Meathook

comment image

WhyEaglesWhy

I hope Joe Namath kisses Roger Goodell.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Namath gonna drop that trophy.
I hope.

Romonobyl

Joe’s trying to find the cork on that thing.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nice

Senor Weaselo

Vince Lombardi Trophy Relay!

blaxabbath

Joe Namath is trying to figure out how to drink out of the Lombardi trophy.

ballsofsteelandfury

Nice that TD gets to carry the trophy!

ballsofsteelandfury

Never mind. Fuck you, Namath.

Spur

Does Peyton have to give a drug sample after the game?

Doktor Zymm

Broncos fans, enjoy this prerecorded commercial to get you to buy stuff!

Sill Bimmons

Another thoroughly unsatisfying ending.

Screw you guys, I’m going home.

http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view5/3039421/screw-you-guys-i-m-going-home-o.gif

Romonobyl

Bad Prius commercial is…bad.

Horatio Cornblower

The time when cops start driving Prius is the time I stop pulling over for them.

King Hippo

They gave it to Von in the Pats game, too (when you know the media was REALLY dying to give it to PeyPey). Methinks he’s about to become the highest paid player in the footy world.

ballsofsteelandfury

So, Miller gets MVP, right?

WCS

It’ll be PeyPey. Mark it.

theeWeeBabySeamus

If there’s an ounce of justice in the NFL, yes.
Sooooo….

makeitsnowondem

Got to be Miller. Basically produced ten points on his own, not counting other sacks and pressures.

Spur

Denver’s defense won that in spite of Manning.

King Hippo

That’s the story of the season. Hide the offense, especially against the better defenses. Other than the pick (which was an AWFUL decision) I think it was more about the terrible OL and the Panthers’ excellent defense than anything else.

makeitsnowondem

I think it’s time for a ’13 Bourbon County Stout.

WhyEaglesWhy

I hope I don’t have to wait until my team wins a Super Bowl before I get to drink that.

WhyEaglesWhy

“Carolina Panthers Win Super Bowl L!”

– Save The Children newsletter, probably.

The Mighty Feklahr

this too

Beerguyrob

The 16-3 Panthers are the best 17-2 team I’ve ever seen.

The Mighty Feklahr

insert third world kid meme with carolina championship tshirts here

Beerguyrob

They’ve got to be going to Africa, because the Shield doesn’t want to be blamed for bringing Zika into America.

Spur

The Cowboys are now undefeated.

ballsofsteelandfury

Hippo wins the fake gambling contest. Moose wins the Prognosticating contest. Donks win the Super Bowl. I’d say you guys have had a hell of a year! Congratulations to you and make it snow, Moonbeam, and the rest of the Donks fans!

Old School Zero

Goodnight, dear NFL season. Until the next time…

blaxabbath

What about the Pro Bowl?

Romonobyl

Already happened.

ballsofsteelandfury

Um…. this is awkward…

WhyEaglesWhy

This is the best argument against holding the Pro Bowl I’ve ever seen.

Beerguyrob

“…I’m gonna thank the man upstairs.”

Papa John?

Horatio Cornblower

Pat Bowlen nods in appreciation.

The Maestro

Congrats to King Hippo, make it snow, Moose, Moonbatting Average & co.

You bastards.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey Pey Pey’s got the Bud product placement.
Fuck you, Disney World

Beerguyrob

#UpForEndorsements

Spur

Peyton better not get the MVP.

Horatio Cornblower

It has to be Miller. Simms already started that and it kills me to agree with him.

Romonobyl

I hope somebody kept the receipt for all of those Panthers Super Bowl hats.

blaxabbath

Those kids in Africa are gonna look good in those hats and their Pats 19-0 tees.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Off-topic question: Should I keep my new name or switch back to mudisleblues?

Romonobyl

Well, Chris Martin is already taken, so…

Old School Zero

Go with your heart.

ballsofsteelandfury

I like it, but when Wallace is out of the league next year, it might be kinda silly…

blaxabbath

If Manning is gonna drink a lot of Budweiser, I really hopes he gets picked up on a DUI at 3am.

Senor Weaselo

Budweiser mention, DRINK! Something else!

WhyEaglesWhy

Peyton just made lots of Budweiser money.

Doktor Zymm

Damn, Peyton is good at endorsments.

Gratliff

Jesus, that stat line

Senor Weaselo

Not sure who you’re referring to, but yes.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Horatio Cornblower

Fuck her?

Horatio Cornblower

Would it kill Peyton to give a shout out to Osweiler for carrying the team through the middle of the season?

King Hippo

yes?

WhyEaglesWhy

Congrats to King Hippo & make it snow & anyone I missed.

Horatio Cornblower

Moose.

Spur

Sorry Norman. Your offense blow it.

Brocky

So, first year ksk is open, peyton manning wins a superbowl.

First year of dfo, Peyton Manning wins a superbowl.

A pattern emerges

The Maestro

Shit, I really hope we don’t have to migrate sites again.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Are you saying neither site should have been opened because of this curse?

Horatio Cornblower

Dear God, I can see the event horizon from here.

blaxabbath

VH should have been played all night.

Spur

Was that Papa John?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Papa Ron.
Close though.

The Maestro

PEYTON KISSED PAPA JOHN

the Alpha and the Amoeba

“Theirs was a love that could not be denied” IN THEATRES THIS SUMMER

Romonobyl

Sorry about that folks.

Spur

At least Demarcus Ware gets a ring. Fuck you Wade, you could do this type of Defense for the Cowboys.

indieguy

huh I really didn’t expect that

Old School Zero

PAPA JOHN!?!?!!?

ChemBro001

Just a peck on the cheek. The really hardcore stuff will be later

the Alpha and the Amoeba

I actually kinda like Peyton. It sucks how he’s surrounded by a crowd of insufferable mouth breathers

Sill Bimmons

Nah, he encourages that cult of personality.

Dude’s a narcissist, he can’t help himself.

Unsurprised

Back to work. Law for the law gods.

Horatio Cornblower

Chin up. It’s not that hard.

Unless they changed it since ’94.

Fuck I am old.

Sill Bimmons

Passing board exams sucks.