It’s almost a perfect storm. My enjoyment of the NFL has been tempered in recent years by the conduct of its players, the hypocritical nature of its leadership, and the arbitrariness of its officiating. Add to that the sudden departure of the Rams and the likely retirement of Peyton Manning, and I am left to ponder my allegiances for the 2016 NFL season. I could leave it to you, the Commentists, as our leader and St. Louis-area resident DTZM did. I could go with the Chiefs, a regional favorite in my corner of Missouri. I could hate-watch every game, rooting AGAINST specific teams. Maybe I could become a Patriots fan.
A HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
/takes deep breath
A HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
There also exists the very real option of NOT watching football this year.
Think about it. I don’t have a team I really care about. It was never easy being a St. Louis Rams fan anyway, except for a 3-year period at the turn of the millennium. My fandom of Peyton made watching the Broncos win the Super Bowl enjoyable for a whole two days until the skeletons finally started coming out of his closet. Is this the time for me to make a clean break from the league?
The concussion issue is part of it. I feel culpability for watching and supporting the league that is turning these players’ brains to mush. Mike Webster and Junior Seau might be the extremes. Then again, they might be more representative than we realize. And I am no less hypocritical than the league itself. I criticize the league for not doing enough to protect its players, then I turn right around and rail on the officials for calling personal foul penalties that could change the course of a game. I get mad at the league for knowingly putting its employees in harm’s way, then I gripe that they have legislated defense out of the sport.
The Peyton Manning revelations are a compelling factor too. I was already wary of liking any player because of the proliferation of scandals… Ray Rice, Adrian Peterson, Riley Cooper, Greg Hardy. There are others. Manning was the one guy I really enjoyed watching and thought was clean. Turns out not only did he do a stupid thing in college, he and his dad then went about proactively ruining this woman’s career and reputation, so as to protect his own. Instead of just saying “I did a very hurtful thing as an immature young college student and I’m very sorry for what I did to this woman.”
Watching the games themselves is even less entertaining than I build it up to be. The seemingly incessant TV timeouts; the awful announcing; the Draft Kings, #upforwhatevers, smug Chevy guys, and whatever new annoying ad campaigns they’ll have this year; and the officiating. MY GOD, THE OFFICIATING. I’m not saying it’s easy to officiate a football game. I’m sure it’s not. I’m sure they’re just as uncertain as we are at times. But the inconsistency makes the game’s outcome seem so arbitrary sometimes. The defense gets a finger on the QB’s helmet on what should be a failed 3rd down and off-the-field, and here comes a personal foul penalty to extend the drive. Or worse, that damn 5-yard holding penalty that turns a no-chance 3rd and long into a first down. But then in a big playoff game, the refs suddenly stop calling defensive pass interference and the announcers laud them for “letting them play”. And I haven’t even gotten into What Is A Catch?
I would miss the rivebrogs, sure. But honestly, I don’t participate in them that often. Usually I’m doing something else while watching football… working, paying bills, fixing something around the house, (gasp) interacting with my family.
So there are a lot of reasons not to watch the NFL.
But will that stop me? When the first Sunday in September hits, will I forget everything I said above? Or at least rationalize it? Or not even bother to rationalize and just say, fuck it, I want to watch football?
I could limit myself to college football, but I’m not naive enough to believe that the NCAA leadership is any less corrupt than the NFL’s. It’s not like my conscience would have a right to feel better watching college but not pro. Besides, watching college football is good for my career. A lot of the managers in my department are big college football fans, and it keeps me in the loop for the water cooler conversations. Judge me if you want.
So, chances are I’m going to watch SOME kind of football. Right now I would say there’s an 88.1% chance I will watch the NFL again this year. 11.9% is not nothing, but it’s not a YUUUUUUUUGE chance.
But it’s a lot bigger than it was a year ago.
I enjoy watching NFL games, life is short; I will continue watching. The officiating is no worse than it has ever been, but the rule book is. The demographics of football players is the same as it has always been; like the officiating, much more scrutiny is applied in the 24/7 media cycle, if anything player behavior has gotten better because of the scrutiny, in the old days you just didn’t hear about it. With the advent of the DVR commercial breaks are manageable. With the Manning thing; I’m not really surprised, I am just very glad that the defense and STs is the only reason they won this year.
tl;dr: FUCK PAPA JOHN.
I agree that it’s partially about the increased media coverage, but it’s also about our changing ethical standards. A lot of the shit that we now condemn as a society (many of us, at least) was not paid that much thought 30, 40, 50 years ago. I was just thinking about this yesterday– what if all the Milton Berle stories/rumors took place today? Can you imagine the fallout if Jimmy Kimmel walked around wagging his cock at people in public? But it was just brushed off back then. Domestics, child abuse, DUI’s, sexual harassment, etc carry much stronger consequences and stigma now than they used to. Even if there had been ESPN, CNN, would it have mattered until our views changed?
Bob Hope grabbing asses and crotches at the Oscars would be viewed a tad different today too…..
BLEERGH WILL NOT BE PLEASED ABOUT BEING ABANDONED!
http://40.media.tumblr.com/fc0e4027da3b6a5f1ad2a8d813e46a45/tumblr_o0i3d5KYzv1syvjuco1_500.jpg
Apparently, the city of Cleveland is having this same existential crisis about not having an NFL team.
Meanwhile, the city of Houston awakens to another happy day of blissful apathy.
Does most of LA know they now have a team, and that team is coached by Jeff Fisher?
Some might, but half the population is still stuck in traffic on the 405.
Nope!
The Steamer is on the way.
oh no
no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no
“Steelers linebacker James Harrison will participate in a parents panel on the ‘Steve Harvey’ show in an episode airing Wednesday.
The discussion will center around ‘old school’ vs. ‘new school’ parenting techniques, with participants representing both sides.”
why
http://www.quickmeme.com/img/8f/8faf74891bb808cac2d263cefeaedf34875e208cac284c3064765a4f4b76a0d8.jpg
“If the kid gets out of line, make his head concave.”
“With the participation trophy smgdh”
BUT I’M NOT GONNA HAVE FRESH CHICKEN BREAST AND BELL PEPPERS 23 YEARS INTO THE APOCALYPSE
http://www.ccmilitary.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/wisefoods.png
Sweet mother of piss…
“No no, you save your mother’s piss, because we’re going to need the water.”
http://www.rsc.org/images/urine-fuel-cells_410_tcm18-209641.jpg
It’s the sport of Kings
Better than diamond rings
Football
Side note: the Donald Drumpf chrome extension is making my day be glorious.
Monty,
I highly suggest you give yourself a nice break and enjoy the AFL this NFL offseason. It is such a refreshing difference and you will still get your share of violent hits with a bonus of quirky rules and funny accents. You will not be disappointed.
Your imaginary friend,
Balls
Dear Balls,
I am in receipt of your message dated March 1, 2016, re: AFL. I am intrigued by your opinions and would like information on subscribing to your newsletter.
Yours in imaginariness,
Monty
Go sell your crazy somewhere else, ya damned heretic
We’re Janay, The NFL is Ray. We’re sorry for our role in this, and we’ll be back.
Look, i had the same problem for awhile when I was in college.
My buddy’s girlfriend had this friend who was annoying but good looking, and whenever she would visit, I would list the 1,000 reasons why I wasn’t going to hook up with her.
And then I drank about 21 Busch beers (preferred beer to abuse at my alma mater JMU) and then go and hook up with her.
You know what stopped me? My idiot friend heard me in a very drunken conversation with her which went from: my dog and how I missed him to wanting to write a book to trying to figure out where the condoms were.
So I got an e earful from my friends. And I swore her off. And the next time she visited, I tried to hook up with her, but instead vomited over the railing of our porch and STILL tried to kiss her.
(You’ll be back.)
The 2016 NFL: Your Last, Desperate Hookup After Everyone Else Has Gone Home.
That girl grew up to be Ann Coulter.
And now you know…the REST of the story.
Remember that obnoxious chick that was in Friends? I think she dated Chandler. This girl could have been her sister, but with bigger jugs.
/scrambles to find link to “I Fucked Ann Coulter In The Ass, Hard.”
Obligatory Coulter post.
http://blog.zavvi.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/Tom-Petty.jpg
I think pretty much everyone has at least one person they know is a waste of time and a bad idea to be around but keep attempting to or successfully fuck over and over again because stupid.
C-F-L! C-F-L! C-F-L!
Actually, I wouldn’t recommend watching the CFL. They’re currently facing the same problems as the NFL, especially with TV timeouts.
As I found out last season, in addition to an usual amount of Sunday weddings in the Fall, not participating in Fantasy Football for the first time since my teenage years definitely played a role in how little I watched football. I love the sport, but, with games become as long or longer than based-ball, my interest is dwindling.
It’s too bad the NFL doesn’t have something like the Canadian Hockey League. At least with hockey, you can watch a league in the CHL and be entertained with how hard these kids try as well as how fast paced the game is on any given night. The kids in the CHL are trying to get into the NHL. Football just has the NCAA, which isn’t the same.Plus, I’d argue the NCAA is worse than the NFL.
Plus, CHL kids who don’t get drafted can go to NCAA hockey schools on scholarship.
Nope. Can only go to CIS schools. If you play Junior A (BCHL, OJHL, AJHL, etc etc) then you can jump the border, but the weekly stipend to players in major junior ruins their NCAA eligibility.
I stand corrected.
http://www.whl.ca/page/faqs
http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/05/tumblr_nj4fgeWetz1qk08n1o1_500.gif
I watched maybe a half dozen full games last year. Since the Spanos family shit all over San Diego in attempt to extort a new stadium out of the city, it was easy to stop rooting for the Chargers. If it weren’t for a long running fantasy football league I’m in, I’d probably stop watching entirely.
The main reason for watching football is gambling. Whether that means actual betting or participating in fantasy leagues is a matter of degree, but either way, keep gaming. (It means gambling…keep gambling.)
Also, thanks for giving the Rams back.
You’re welcome – NO TAKEBACKS
Several people I know (and me don’t gamble and have given up on FF, but still enjoy watching the NFL. Maybe it is the only reason for you……. AND YOU ILK!
As a fellow NFL-hater, here’s the thing — Arizona summers (and early falls) are like everyone else’s winter. You just try to hole up inside, avoid the elements, and keep yourself busy until it passes. But, unlike the rest of the country, we have shit for TV options in the summer. So I’m sure I’ll be following my annual routine of catching a bunch of football in the first four weeks and, as the weather turns (and, historically, as the Cards become playoff ineligible), pretty much just using Hippo Thoughts to keep myself up on the season (plus any clickbait about “_______’s catch that you HAVE TO SEE! I couldn’t believe what I saw! (Slideshow)”
The AFL is your answer. You can watch late at night when the temperature is nice and you can sleep in during the day.
Problem solved.
No man! Nighttime is when I get shit done.
/Looking forward to those cool 96 degree nights come June.
I think any fan who has their team taken away from them is allowed to stop watching with only the bare minimum of taunting.
That’s got to be gut wrenching.
A real fan of Peyton would dangle his balls and asshole on some physical therapist’s head, let her pick the team, and then do the exact opposite and root for the team that your dad likes. Also: your brother might be handicapped.
The only redeeming value of the whole TEABAGGHAZI is that you just KNOW Peyton teabagged Eli at some point growing up. I’d say there is a 115% chance that he did.
I would imagine all the repressed abuse is why Eli always looks so pissed when Peyton succeeds on-field. That, or Archie said no fucking juice boxes in the owner’s suite.
Meanwhile, Cooper just shit in Archie’s shoes.