Pick Is In – A [DFO] 2016 Draft Challenge LIVE Results Post

So we’ve made it to the first major event of the 2016 NFL season, the first round of the draft is tonight! As we are reminded that coaches, general managers, and meddling owners are the real stars of this league, we will also use this event to be introduced to the latest class of well-dressed athletes who, in as soon as four years even, may be budding stars preparing to be training camp hold outs insisting on new contracts, early retirees, or simply journeymen professionals chasing their athletic dreams.

Remember about a month ago when the draft universe was upside-down? The top two picks, Tennessee and Cleveland, presumably pleased with their quarterback situations (because nothing says “nah, we’re good at QB” like having a top draft pick), were expected to kick off the draft with unsexy upgrades to their non-existent lines. Boltman and Ol’ Double-J would then get some screen time before perpetual top-five picker Jacksonville would bring aboard someone with high upside who won’t make it to the preseason without getting an injury that will land him on the season-ending IR. Also, the P*triot’s didn’t have a first round pick because they had tampered with game balls and got caught. But that didn’t matter because, with Tom Brady for 16 weeks, this team didn’t need a first round pick to get off to a hot start.

Well, now our draft universe is upside-down for other reasons. The Los Angeles Rams of Raider Nation announced that their “philosophy has always been to build through the draft” before sending six of their first seven picks over the next two years to Tennessee in exchange for the right to pick first tonight. Who will they take? Well, RAMIT insiders haven’t decided yet. Not to be outdone — by LA or their previous regime — the Philadelphia Eagles gave up eight picks to earn the right to draft whoever gets rejected by the guys who assembled a 2015 QB depth chart of Nick Foles, Case Keenum, and Sean Mannion. Laremy Tunsil, the projected top pick before Tennessee traded down, is set to lose at least $1.5 million on his rookie contract as a result of these trades. Also, the P*triot’s still don’t have a first round pick because they had tampered with game balls and got caught. Also, they lost Tom Brady for the first four weeks of the season, including their Sunday Night Football home opener where Chris and Al will have to talk about Brady being out because he’s a cheater even though they don’t want to talk about Brady’s history of cheating.

Now, for everyone who submitted on Pick Is In, tonight is also judgement day for you. That’s right, click below to open the official [DFO] Draft Challenge Prediction Board, turn on the television, and get ready to weep.
We-Are-Dumb

0 0 votes
Article Rating
blaxabbath
I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
Subscribe
Notify of
1.2K Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
JustStopDude

With the first pick in the 2016 NFL draft, the LA Rams select Oakland, California as a new stadium site.

Duchess

How does the first pick take longer than like 1 min?

Spur

Lets see Tunsil drop some spots…and money.

King Hippo

I got a Buster/Lucille vibe from Goff and his mom. Anyone else?

WCS

Goff’s sister is the new monther, Mother. And she’s getting hotter, too.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This whole red carpet has been Oedipal. It’s giving Eli a complex.

Smithchez

NFL network already wins the night by cutting off most of Goodell’s introduction.

MikeWallaceAndGromit

Did I miss the ceremonial Booing of Goodell?

Horatio Cornblower

With the first pick in the NFL Draft, the St. Lou…uh, Los Angeles Rams, select, Eli Apple!

comment image

King Hippo

Will they put Fiona on our teevee boxes to cry again?

LeighAnne

BOOOOOO

ThursdaySkyGoddess
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Alright, it’s past 8pm, let’s get this show on the road

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I CALL MYSELF THE ANTI-TEBOW BECAUSE I CAN’T WAIT, I’M JEWISH, AND I CAN THROW AN OUT PATTERN

/Johnny Manziel chained to a rock. A vulture swoops down to rip out his liver, flies off

JFF: Thanks Bro.

// ingest 5 gallons of alcohol.

Unsurprised

When life takes your liver, make alcohol.

Smithchez

Nothing elicits the optimistic “hope springs eternal” vibe of the NFL draft like the story of Sisyphus.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

I don’t know what’s sadder: NFL Network trying so hard to be like ESPN or failing .

Unsurprised

Xmas Ape nails it.

comment image

Spur

tron legacy music sweet

Brocky

I saw a Zelda concert at the Chicago theatre. It’s one of my favorite accomplishments

Spur

Nerd

Spur

Sup

MikeWallaceAndGromit

The new Tron movie wasn’t good, but the soundtrack was. Good choice.

p.s. HOW THE FUCK YOU DOIN’ BOYS?!

The Mighty Feklahr

This malt moscow mule tasted like someone mixed 7up and Canada Dry ginger ale. AND it’s getting me drunk!

Horatio Cornblower

The NFL Network opens with the myth of Sisyphus; I didn’t think Cleveland picked until #8.

Sisyphus, the Cleveland Browns Saga.

Smithchez

Howie Roseman: Hey, shitty is a type of plan.

WCS
Brocky

There’s a joke to be made about schefter’s track record, and him guaranteein Mort will be there next year.

Obviously it’s in horrible taste, but still it’s there

makeitsnowondem

Starting off my annual NFL Draft beer festival with a side-by-side of 2014 Deschutes Abyss and 2016 Deschutes Rye Barrel Aged Abyss.

LeighAnne

Mayock: “Carson Wentz is the future.”

That’s one of the sadder statments I’ve heard on a sports channel.

King Hippo

Tis a very creative way to shit on Jared Goff, fo sho.

Smithchez

Jared “They traded WHAT?!” Goff
followed by
Carson “All that just two move up to two for this asshole?!” Wentz.

Horatio Cornblower

Deion Sanders and Nick Saban in the same lens. Too bad there aren’t cross-hairs on it.

LeighAnne

War Eagle!

The Mighty Feklahr

Am I supposed to know what is going on with Mort?

King Hippo

Similarities – they’re both SHIT

I missed Captain Lithpy

litre_cola

I mithhh the thurthday nights with him

King Hippo

He’s reasonably intelligent and informative as long as he’s not discussing ND (for example, he has their LT (who may be a RT) #4 on his big board when most have him going in the early teens).

makeitsnowondem

Gentlemen.

scotchnaut

Prove It!

The Mighty Feklahr

Guys I downgraded from vicodin to poppy seed bagels, but I have weed called Shiva Skunk so I am basically doing fucking great. I have bagels!

scotchnaut

I’m guessing that Goodell comes out to announce the first pick with the inventor of Teflon and an outer circle of paraplegic veterans that surrounds several homeless puppies.

“Go ahead. I dare you to “Boo” me.”

-The Rog

Horatio Cornblower

I’d still boo him.

Unsurprised

Damn right

scotchnaut

“I’d boo me. I’d totally boo me.”

-Buffalo Bill

Duchess

Ahh LA where else do people gather and wait in one place to only leave 10 mins into the event?

litre_cola

Did Berman just have a mini stroke there?

The Mighty Feklahr

I kinda get the feeling Peter Wentz would cook a dickmeant sandwhich. WHAT CAN UR QB COOK?

WCS

I don’t get NFLN, and I catagorically refuse to give Kiper and/or McShay ratings, so Pens-Craps on the TV and radio, you fine dickpinchers and twitter to let me know how Goodell’s five-hour slave lottery goes.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

“And the Carolina Panthers select…the one with the strongest teeth”

King Hippo

get this Commentist on the banner for Day Two!

King Hippo

INFIDEL

Horatio Cornblower

“It’s not just Bismarck and it’s not just Fargo, it’s the whole state.”

Carson, Bismarck and Fargo ARE the whole state.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fargo, Bismarck and Carson will go 1, 2, 3 this year.
-Mel Kiper

Horatio Cornblower

Somebody tell Britt McHenry that her car’s getting towed.

theeWeeBabySeamus

She can’t hear me right now over her own screams of pleasure.
I’ll tell her when I’m done.

The Mighty Feklahr

Sam Bradford might be the biggest diva QB in recent history (100 years)

WCS

He’s leaving a trail of tears in his wake.

The Mighty Feklahr

Holy shit dude

litre_cola

Bra fucking vo

Horatio Cornblower

“How dare you draft another QB given my history of never missing a game due to injury and consistent, high-quality production on the field!”

Duchess

This kid Bradford, I like to call him Climate Change, because he has yet to have one consistent season.

scotchnaut

This I like.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Actual description of a player on the NFL network screen a moment ago: “Wow get off. Bends like Gumby.”

theeWeeBabySeamus

“Picking up the tradition…as it once were.”
-Deion Sanders

FSU edumacation, evahbody!!!!!

The Mighty Feklahr

Nirvana shirt in LA color me shocked

Smithchez

The consensus broadcast is clearly NFL network, right? I accidentally tuned into ESPN first. Goddamn do I hate Chris Berman.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

ESPN or NFL Network? I’ll most likely end up muting it anyway.

The Mighty Feklahr

I’m watching on ESPN because the trailer park I live in won’t pay for NFL Network

Horatio Cornblower

I refuse to listen to Berman so NFL Network it is.

Beerguyrob

In a half hour, it won’t matter to me whose voice is speaking.

http://www.bcliquorstores.com/files/imagecache/product_larger/products/479725_0.jpg

BrettFavresColonoscopy

THIS GUY BEERGUYROB, HE SEEMS LIKE HE REALLY LIKES BEER

The Mighty Feklahr

Most NDSUiest of fans in the world

The Mighty Feklahr

It was seriously Milhouse and Cracker Factory dad

scotchnaut

And Now The Rams Are On The Clock!

“Uh…WE PICK 6AM! We did that right, right?”

theeWeeBabySeamus

FFS!!!!! When are we starting this shit???? I need to take a nap!!!!!
http://www.gifbin.com/bin/032011/1299775195_breathalyzer-fail.gif

The Mighty Feklahr

I can’t wait to see these shitty, stupid fucking picks.