Your “Random Roundup” Friday Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

Look, there’s no sports that matter tonight, except for the start of the Copa America. (Sorry #BFIB) Hockey resumes on Saturday in San Jose – 8:00; party at Covalent’s! breakfast at Sunrisesunrise’s! – and hoops resumes on Sunday. And, honestly, I’m kinda bankrupt on ideas today – intellectually, as well as my usual morally. Fortunately, the late Copa start will bleed into the AFL, which will provide some relief with overnight action. So – by way of interlude – I present for you some topics & pictures that didn’t quite make it into the Monday to Thursday Open Thread write-ups. These will hopefully keep you going until the kicking starts later tonight.


Your Whisky Exchange “Malt of the Month”

Glenfiddich Age of Discovery.

Oh, that’s a sexy looking product. Let’s see what your centerfold bio says:

Glenfiddich’s first 19-year-old whisky and its first Madeira finish, Age of Discovery is a spicy, fruity and nutty dram, combining the distillery’s orchard-fruit character with the depth of flavour of Madeira’s famed fortified wine.

It’s a Highland, so it’ll have a little bite, but not taste like an burnt Islay orchard going down. It’s currently listed at £90 online (delivery extra), which is aboot $200 Canadian, so perhaps I’ll check out the local liquor store, given that you can’t mail-order nor home-deliver hard alcohol in Canada & I don’t feel like ordering it to my brother’s and then waiting for a reason to stay a weekend at his place to avoid the duty. That opinion might change the closer we get to football season, and the attraction to staying over becomes greater.


The more I read about moving the Raiders to Las Vegas, the more it doesn’t make actual sense to me, from the perspective of establishing a fan base. Given the average price of tickets, and the expected raising of those prices upon entering a new market, the number of actual residents able to reasonably afford seats to the games doesn’t seem high enough. Plus, having to rely on transient visitors to fill in the shortfall sounds like too risky a proposition for ol’ Rog to consider. One of PK’s halfwits went and spoke to someone from The Sands and got a whole bunch of “kinda”, “sorta” and “we’ll see”, plus a bunch of vague promises about a stadium being a “multi-purpose event facility”. Crack journalism! But, I guess that’s why Bob & Jerry make the real decisions.

Puppet and master.

I really enjoyed the late night dance-party gif-a-thon in Monday’s Open Thread.

I also just wanted an excuse to post these gifs again. If I were 20 years younger, what these invoke wouldn’t be at all creepy. Or sad. Bradley Cooper is my hero.


While researching “The Factory of Sadness” for Thursday’s Open Thread, I found some useful DFO tidbits:

  1. while looking for a ‘Circle of Sadness’, I found the equally depressing “Tottenham Circle of Life”,

and the more elaborate “Tottenham Wheel of Failure”,

I don’t know which fanbase has been more depressed for longer, but if there ever was a “Sister Cities” program for uniting misery, here are your charter members. But this should aid those Commentists who were talking in last night’s Open Thread about possibly switching allegiances for the upcoming season.

2. When looking for an appropriate Jay Cutler image to reflect my general basketball sentiments, I found this handy “Jay Cutler Emotional Chart”:

Seems about right. Pretty much covers everything, except “hairball” and “your kid has measles”.

3. When looking for an image for “Factory of Sadness”, look what popped up as a choice in Google:

Better watermark that before NFLMemes gets their thieving paws on it.


Found these at House of Grafix while looking for political notes:

They say what we’re all thinking, and just in time for the summer conventions! Order them here; at $1.50 per for Meteor & $2.50 per for Nope, each seems pretty reasonable.


Tonight & Tomorrow’s Copa schedule:

Friday, June 3: Colombia vs. USA – 9:30 – from Levi’s Stadium

Saturday, June 4:

  • Costa Rica vs Paraguay – 5:00 – from Camping World Stadium (Orlando)
  • Haiti vs Peru – 7:30 – from Century Link Field
  • Brasil vs Ecuador – 10:00 – from the Rose Bowl

Finally, if you are staying up late & watching some AFL, tonight’s mock draft topic is:

Which NFL player would make a good AFL player?

AFL schedule is below:

8:45 PM Pacific – Hawthorn vs Melbourne (Live on Fox Soccer Plus!)

9:10 PM Pacific – Carlson vs Brisbane

11:35 PM Pacific – Geelong vs GWS

2:25 AM Pacific – Gold Coast vs Sydney

2:40 AM Pacific – Fremantle vs Essendon

Go Freo!! HAVE AT IT!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Spur
Spur

Jokes on Columba, FBI is on their way to take all your cocaine again

Brocky

Truly a first world problem,

I’m sorta hungry, but not hungry enough to get off my ass and do anything about it.

Horatio Cornblower

Do you have any chips stuck in the couch?

Brocky

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King Hippo

HARF HARF HIS NAME IS PECKER MAN!!!

Spur
Spur

TIME TO FLY THE FIGHTER JETS AGAIN

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

Somebody might want to tell those guys that the match is underway…

Horatio Cornblower

Hey look, Geoff Cameron fucked up! Who had 8 minutes in the pool? Come get your money.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Insurmountable?

King Hippo

That was some Aston Villa level shit defending. LMAO, Americans.

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Maybe they are sick of coaches’ shit too

Spur
Spur

SUBOPTIMAL

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

GREAT START YOU GUYS

King Hippo

GOOOOOOAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!

Spur
Spur

This game is definitely gonna get chippy. Columbia already complaining when someone breathes on them.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m pretty sure they’re ticked off about autocorrect constantly changing Colombia to Columbia.

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons
Spur
Spur
King Hippo

Colombia looks like Georgia Tech. On the road, which I guess is appropriate.

Horatio Cornblower

A friend of mine’s son plays for the UCONN baseball team, which just upset GT in the opening rounds of the College World Series. He’s happy, to say the least.

King Hippo

Now if Colombia’s band starts breaking into “She Blinded Me With Science” we can all freak out!!

Also, I had no idea UConn played teh el beisbol. Good for them!

Horatio Cornblower

They’re not bad for a NE team.

What Florida will do to them tomorrow should probably not be seen on basic cable.

Spur
Spur

Those american women can’t compete with colombians

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

It’s getting to the point where I can actually understand a word here and there in the Univision broadcast!

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

Wow, they even have flyovers at soccer matches.

ON TO UNIVISION

laserguru

Time to start the Friday night Wii golf gambling challenge.
2 rounds of 9 holes each. Buck per person per round and a separate buck for total 18 hole score.

Christ, I’m a couple of years away from betting on Friday night shuffleboard aren’t I?

It’s medication time!

Spur
Spur
Brocky

It’s oddly appropriate that every time I visit my grandmother in assisted living there’s a few seniors playing wii bowling in the front room

King Hippo

as usual, the other country’s anthem is WAY better

Horatio Cornblower

But they don’t have fighter jets to buzz the stadium on the final note, so they lose.

Horatio Cornblower

The Colombian national anthem doesn’t seem to have as many references to Pablo Escobar as I would have thought.

laserguru

And not a single mention of a Colombian neck tie.

King Hippo

too much useless ceremonial bullshit

Horatio Cornblower

A while back my kids’ high school had an auction to raise money for the athletic program. We’re big athletic supporters, (HA!), so we went. Also it was in a bar and our friends were there so what else are we going to do?

I win a $450 luxury box at the local minor league park, (“luxury” is a bit of a stretch here), for 20 people, for $150. Only one other bidder and it was a family we know where only the wife was there and she was stuck up front all night and couldn’t top my pathetic bid. So I call the family and tell them they can use it more than me, I’ll sell it to them for their bid etc. The guy comes over today, (insisted on paying my bid so who has two thumbs and $25 he wasn’t expecting? This guy!), and brings a six-pack and tells me he got me this brand because he knows I don’t like dark beers, which is extremely incorrect.

All of this is a long-winded way of telling you that I’m drinking Guinness Blonde American Lager tonight and it is, um, not good.

But it’s free beer so I’m gonna drink it.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I used to say that a lot in college.

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

Which of Dempsey’s knees spontaneously combusts first?

Horatio Cornblower

Yes

ballsofsteelandfury

Btw, in case it needed to be cleared up:

#TeamRosaBallsAmySandwich

herodotus450
herodotus450

If Rosa is on ball duty and Amy is making you a sandwhich, what is Gina doing?
/may have confused this with the 4chan tab I have open

ballsofsteelandfury

Rosa is on ball duty, I’m taking care of Amy, and Gina is making the sandwich and filming

herodotus450
herodotus450

I’d pay to watch it, depending on the sandwhich. If it’s a rueben I’m in.

ballsofsteelandfury

Dou DeMuro is the best/only thing in Gawker. From today’s Jalopnik post:

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Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons
WCS

Goddammit, Leeroy…

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

Stadium’s about 2/3 full.

They’re going to keep trying though, bless their hearts.

Spur
Spur

I think I would be a good hype man. How does one get into that?

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

Show up outside a GMA taping and hype up the background crowd on live national teevee.

Spur
Spur

He could of hired some female backup dancers, but I guess those dudes will do.

WCS

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Spur
Spur

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Spur
Spur

I Highly recommend Chance The Rapper’s new album – The Coloring Book. Es bueno.

Spur
Spur

Colombian women are fine

ballsofsteelandfury

I’d say they are a little more than….oh I get it! Never mind!

Spur
Spur

Jozy Altidore deserves better

ballsofsteelandfury

Does he, though? He hasn’t done shit at the club level.

Horatio Cornblower

Better hamstrings maybe.

ballsofsteelandfury

Football in VEGAS will only succeed if the hotels buy up the suites and season tickets to entertain the big and little gamblers, respectively.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Why would they want them in a stadium outside of their casinos?

ballsofsteelandfury

For the same reason they give them golf and rides in a Ferrari on a racetrack. It keeps them loyal.

Spur
Spur

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Senor Weaselo

Football games as comps?

ballsofsteelandfury

How else would you get anyone to see the Raiders vs Browns/Titans/Jaguars?

Spur
Spur

Alexi Lalas is such a fucking idiot.

King Hippo

He alone is reason enough to cheer against American Pig Dogs.

#TeamDrugsAndAsses

theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL…I like it over here just as much also.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

BTW, I know our gentle hat/Canadiens mean no harm, but I’m sick of the bullshit false equivalence “Trump and Hillary are both terrible.” If you disagree with her or even hate her, fine, but you can’t genuinely believe they’re equally terrible when one is a racist, petulant, money-grubbing, toupee wearing demagogue who doesn’t even have a basic grasp on US civics and the other has held several elected and non-elected public service positions that give her insights into the way government works beyond “I know how to win.”

FUCK DONALD TRUMP, AND FUCK THE GOP THAT ENABLED HIM

Guess there was still some hate leftover from this afternoon.

WCS

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Just hand me the scotch and show me how to find Fox Soccer Plus in DC and I’ll be quiet.

King Hippo

FS1!!!

Unless you really had your heart set on UEFA Champions League Magazine…

ballsofsteelandfury

Sports bar?

King Hippo

Seriously. It’s like, “HillyBob is only like a B+ on the issues, and I find her personality somewhat off-putting.”

So. Fucking. What. She’s not a goddamned sociopath who would literally set the country, nay, the fucking entire planet, on fire due to penile size insecurity.

theeWeeBabySeamus

WCS

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m hocking up phlegm that is disgusting AND painful. I think the solution is to stay in and let dr whisky work his magic.

King Hippo

go get TUSSIONEX. It will change your life FOREVS.

/your friendly neighbourhood quack

ballsofsteelandfury

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ALXMAC
ALXMAC

I think I broke DFO.

WCS

Nice work, dickhead.

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Is no one else having problems posting?

https://youtu.be/RoMCQmUzVXc

ballsofsteelandfury

What kind of problems?

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

For the last 95 mins, I’ve tried to post aboot a dozen times to both this thread and the Request Line thread. Apparently it’s just me and my i386 processor; appears to be fixed now.

ballsofsteelandfury

Weird. I’m glad it’s fixed.

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

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WCS
theeWeeBabySeamus

Can’t see the line, can ya Russ?

WCS

So this is a taste of life a week and a half from now, eh?

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

Silver Linings Playbook was awful.

Really, just the most terriblest film of all time.

I’d sit through Ishtar 100 times before I watched a single minute of that shitshow again.

theeWeeBabySeamus

What didn’t you like about it?

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

I never cared about any of the characters or anything they did.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fair enough. The reason I asked is that I’ve never seen it. Various folks I know have raved about it, others not so much.

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

“Pointless” is the one word I’d use.

King Hippo

I walked out of Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, and turned off Any Given Sunday (which I had paid to rent) after 15 minutes. Those are my golden turd standard (non-kid cinema edition).

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

I thought Midnight was OK and I’ve still never seen Any Given Sunday.

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King Hippo

Informal poll, how many bad Americans/ungrateful Canucks are rooting for Colombia tonight?

/raises hand proudly (for I am an asshole)

King Hippo

4 AFL games being televised across the various FoxSports entities…but NAWT Carlton…again. 5 wins in 6, still can’t get no fucking love.

ballsofsteelandfury

How much does Carlton charge for membership?

theeWeeBabySeamus

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theeWeeBabySeamus

The Sisyphus formerly known as Joey.

scotchnaut

Spartacus doesn’t hold up well over the years. How could Kubrick forget about the tanks in the big battle scene?

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons
theeWeeBabySeamus

FIRST!!!!!
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theeWeeBabySeamus

And I must disagree with the no sports that matter.
NCAA Baseball Tourney kicks off tonight.
/beaten about the head by…everyone

(honestly that is what I’m watching)
/kicked in the groin repeatedly

King Hippo

I’m watching Thor on MLB.tv’s SNY feed because I don’t wanna raise my blood pressure and ESPN3 always sucks donkey balls.

theeWeeBabySeamus

ESPN3 doing ok for me tonight on the iPad. Picture is usually better on that than the desktop for some reason.
Raining like a bitch here right now and DirecTV is out atm, thus kinda happy our game is ESPN3 tonight anyway.

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