Your “Iceland gets a bye, right?” Monday Morning Open Thread

Before I begin, I just wanted to complain about how hot it is in my apartment. When the sun sets, it’s facing my apartment windows making my apartment from 8PM onwards hot as balls. It’s almost midnight here and it’s 28 Celsius (that’s 82.4 Fahrenheit). The heat just sits in my apartment for hours before it “cools” down. The worst thing is, I don’t have AC because my windows aren’t exactly AC friendly. I definitely need to look into buying an AC where I don’t have to put anything through a window or vent.

Sunday’s games saw two blowouts and one close game with the wrong team winning.

Germany gave a historical re-enactment of 1939, as they were constantly in Slovakia’s territory and won 3-0. Both current and future German stars put on a clinic and looked ready to play whomever wins the game between Italy and Spain.

It was a close game for 75 minutes, but my Hungary lost to Belgium 4-0. Belgium finally played like a team that deserved the dick riding the media has been giving them for two and a half years. Gareth (B)Wales better watch out because Belgium’s counter attack is deadly.

Les Frogs narrowly beat the Irish. As always, f*ck France.

Match 1: Euro 2012 Finals Rematch, 9 am PST

Italy

v

Spain

Thoughts:

Unless Spain absolutely shits the bed, they’re going to win this one. If Spain scores early, this could be a 3-0 game. However, if Italy’s incredibly strong defense holds its own, we’re in for a dull 1-0 win for Spain.

Match 2: An Upset in the Making, 12 PM PST

Iceland

v

A Shit Show named England

Thoughts:

A shit show named England (that’s their official name now) is once again over-rated by the soccer media. They looked really beatable in a fairly weak group B. Yet, many are still picking them to easily beat Iceland.

Iceland is a talented team that could have gone far had they been placed in the weaker bracket. They didn’t, but I still think they are good enough– and match-up well against– A Shit Show named England.

Iceland’s players are giving too much respect to a Shit Show named England during their press conferences. My concern for Iceland is more psychological. They sound too content making it to the round of 16 when they’re good enough to advance to the quarter finals. If they start the game looking intimidated because they’re playing A Shit Show named England–they didn’t exactly have a good start against Austria in their last match– then  Iceland better hope their excellent goalie, Hannes Thór Halldórsson, can keep them in the game until they get their collective shit together.  Halldórsson has made more saves than any other goalkeeper at this year’s tournament.

I think if Iceland wins this game, they’ll win it in penalties.

One last thing about Iceland’s fanbase. I just saw a feature about their ultra fans and I did not like what I saw. The Ultra fans all wear an Iceland jersey with the number 12 on it. Yes, their fans take pride in being the 12th man. Because this is their first international tournament, I’m sure we’ll let it slide. But after Euro 2016, their fans are on watch for sounding like douches. I searched high and low on the interwebs and couldn’t find the feature I watched. Hopefully it’ll reappear as an accessible feature once the game is over. Their main cheer is to the beat of “We Will Rock you.” *Fart noise*

Enjoy the games!

 

 

 

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Sill Bimmons

GO PLAYER I ORDINARILY HATE

Sill Bimmons

It’s difficult to believe, but not only did the same country give us these two cars, THE SAME COMPANY gave us these two cars:

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http://motorbase.s3.amazonaws.com/uploads/2007/06/19/fs_vp_front.jpg

If you ever hear a British person use the word “naff,” just think of this horrible, horrible Austin Allegro with that ghastly aspirational grille and you’ll know exactly what they’re talking about.

Sill Bimmons

Once they figured out how to stay warm they realized they had to go back outside if they wanted to do anything. So they didn’t.

Sill Bimmons

The NHS employs about eight times as many people as Iceland has people.

Sill Bimmons

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Sill Bimmons

The Euro crests at the ends of that center scoreboard look like Deadhead symbols.

http://media.urbandictionary.com/image/page/deadhead-15173.jpg

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I don’t really have anything against England, but their flopping and whining is really pissing me off.

Sill Bimmons

Unseemly behaviour unbecoming of proper gentlemen.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Quite, quite.

Sill Bimmons

There are eight cities in England bigger than Iceland.

London
Manchester
Leeds
Sheffield
Bradford
Liverpool
Birmingham
Bristol

Sill Bimmons

The only province in Canada smaller than Iceland is Prince Edward Island.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

England is the Cleveland of soccer because they consistently suffer heartbreaking losses, but Iceland is the Cleveland of soccer because their economy is in complete and total shambles and their natural areas occasionally burst into flame. So it’s tough.

Sill Bimmons

CLEVELAND²

Sharkbait

If Iceland wins everyone in that country is going to get laid*

*Provided the proper forms are filled out so nobody fucks their cousin.

SonOfSpam

The British commentator just pronounced glacier as “glassier” which is normally used comparatively to describe Jim Irsay’s eyes.

Sill Bimmons
Sharkbait

2-1 Icelanders

Sill Bimmons

I haven’t been on my laptop all day.

I walk away for two minutes and that’s when it decides to do that “software update in 60 seconds” thing and now it’s going to take 10 minutes to update.

King Hippo

I turned the match off and teh good guys scored, so YOU KNOW it gon’ stay off.

YOU’RE WELCOME, all non-Sill Commentists

/sorry, Sill

Sharkbait

I made the executive decision to stop cable news loops and put on the Euro Footy.

Sill Bimmons

HOLY DOGSHIJT

1 — 1

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King Hippo

FUCK WAYNE ROONEY THE FAT, OVERRATED, ARROGANT PIECE OF SHIT

Sharkbait

4 minutes in?

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

“I just saw a feature about their ultra fans and I did not like what I saw.”

That can be read an entirely different way than what you meant.

Sill Bimmons

Worst. National. Anthem. Ever.

Sill Bimmons

Imagine if Lindros hadn’t been Lindros.

Sill Bimmons

hey guys

Spanky Datass

sup

Sill Bimmons

yo

anything going on

Sill Bimmons
Sharkbait

I hope Crying Jordan never goes away

King Hippo

The team your grandpa would have liked, if he didn’t think Lesser Footy was strictly for homosexuals (no ofence) is through to the quarterfinals!!

Don T

?Nana na na. Nana na na, he he. Adiós?
#????

Fronkenshteen

Fitting that the Spanish jerseys make them
look like they got slapped in the chest with a pizza.

jjfozz

Ooooooh you’re so different. I hope a glacier falls on your fucking head, you screechy dipshit.

Sharkbait

The sounds of her gurgling after the glacier hits her in the head is her next album.

blaxabbath

Huh? Sill?

Sill Bimmons

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Meh, she seems to have a sense of humor about it; especially the cat as boyfriend video. Please don’t let this dissuade your self-righteous indignation since that shit is damn hilarious.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

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They should of hit the swan in this case.

King Hippo

Spain is damned lucky De Gea is having the match of his life…

Don T

That’s what the ESPN Deportes web narrators say.

packman_jon

It’s been hot as balls out the past few days here (in C, that’s hot as bloody balls, mate!). Only a few more days of having to set my box unit to 65F and set up fans so I can get some cool air in my bedroom before I get central air
/CSB

Fronkenshteen

THIS 18-YARD BOX, I CALL IT CAMARO! THERE’S TOO MANY ITALIAN GUYS IN IT, AND IT’S GONNA KEEP ANYONE FROM SCORING!

packman_jon

Camaro?
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Unsurprised

Of course it’s an IROC

Gratliff

I don’t know if Eric Lindros gets into the HoF this year. I know the second half of his career just had everyone scratching their heads, but in his prime, there was no one better. So, here’s an amazing clip of “The Next One”-era Eric Lindros being the best in the world at stickless hockey.
http://video.flyers.nhl.com/videocenter/?id=671927&catid=774

Sharkbait

Doesn’t help that the Flyers medical staff damn near killed him.

Gratliff

And Scott Stevens. I’m not yet convinced he wasn’t a mafia hitman.

Don T

I think the theme for today’s games is “shots on goal are for widdle wusses”.

Rootin’ for Italia; Alba and Ramos can go get athlete’s foot of the crotch, for all I care.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m pretty sure they already have it.

jjfozz

In the name of father son bonding, I went to a bazebawl game yesterday and got fucking cooked alive by the sun. Chris Davis smashed the almighty fuck out of a ball for a grand slam, but it was against Tampa Bay so . . .

...

If you just imagine baseball as an annoying event happening in the middle of a beer garden, it all makes sense.

jjfozz

And that’s what I did. You can baseball to other things I don’t get, which includes any and all Star Trek related things and Harry Potter

blaxabbath

You people need retractable roof stadiums. Seriously, what’s another $200mil when it guarantees you’ll never have to enjoy a sporting event outside of 70-78 degree conditions?

Also, no sunlight.

...

This is what the Rangers are doing with their new park in Arlington, which I read is a big reason the team was willing to ditch a ~20 year old park.

packman_jon

Miller Park was open yesterday because fuck you, fans sitting on the sun side of the stadium

Unsurprised

Sitting on the sunny side Sun Devil stadium was like sitting on the surface of the sun.

packman_jon

Yeah, because it was probably cooler on the sun

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That is actually a PERFECT description of the game of cricket.

montythisseemsstrangetome

The outfit on that Icelander is totally impractical for combating bands of marauders.

packman_jon

“Nice, but her proportions are off”
– Rob Liedfeld

Sharkbait

No Euro for me this morning since the office TV is in control of someone who hates soccer with a passion and would rather watch cable news loops instead.

Unsurprised

There are many ways to make a murder look like an office space accident.

blaxabbath

I like the way the girl representing England looks.

nomonkeyfun

Soooo. I spent a week in Fl and Ga, not a bit of a tan or burn. Spent several hours in the shade in NYC yesterday, I now have a ripe tomato for a head.

/enters PFT Commenter mind space

aDam SilveR,
tHe rePlaacement for the guy who gRew up in teaneck, neW Jersety, if you no whAt I mean. WeLL, he wAS at the paraDE rfor thosE people in NYc Yesterdey. wHat the hELL is thIs worlD cominggg two if a profesional sprts league is supporting those gays. I mWEan they do knoW How to put a rooOm togetHER, no homo, but yOu dOn’t see a STRAEGHT PrIDE daY.

/smgdh

/ends PFT commenter mode

Seriously, it was really cool to see Adam Silver and the NBA float at NYC pride.
Can’t imagine the Ginger Hammer doing something that could anger the
comment image?w=300&h=240

Or imagine that Bud Selig understands that gay doesn’t just mean happy.
And of course if Bettman tried to do something like that, he would have thanked the Orlando asshole for bringing people together.http://cdn.slamonline.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/Adam-Silver-300×169.jpg

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Anyone who doesn’t support gay marriage has clearly never had a gay couple as neighbors.

Unsurprised
Fronkenshteen

I was always pissed Seinfeld got rid of Harold & Manny, the gay landlords.
http://youtu.be/jkiFU1zK5Wk

packman_jon

Too bad David Stern got cropped out of the bottom of the photo

Doktor Zymm

I’m actually kind of glad to be at work, because AC. The having to do work bit is a bit of a bummer though.

King Hippo

I like your English meme, and look forward to the late fixture even MOAR now.

Another tick mark in favour of Iceland:

theeWeeBabySeamus

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ballsofsteelandfury

The whole “Come on” campaign was hilarious.

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Fronkenshteen

Great googly moogly

...

I mean, you can’t even blame that on missing punctuation.

Unsurprised

“Make this banner for us”

“Okay” (Doesn’t get paid enough to correct them)

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

One of the absolute best running gags on Bojack Horseman:
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