Your Pre-Euro Semi-Final Tuesday Evening Open Thread

NFL Notes:

  • Stephen Tulloch was cut by the Lions Tuesday. He was kept on the active roster until he passed a physical, at which point he was released. (This move cost $500K towards Detroit’s 2016 cap.) If nothing else, it proves that you can’t discount the effect of the double-check.
  • Boston College announced it will retire the jerseys of Matt Ryan and Luke Kuechly at separate games during the 2016 season.
    • They will join the ranks of Art Donovan & Doug Flutie in BC lore.
  • Randall Cunningham’s daughter qualified for the Rio Olympics in the high jump, somehow also putting her third on the Eagles WR depth chart.
  • Maybe rap beefs have changed since I was a kid, but Ciara suing Future for defamation over parenting skills has unearthed a supposed threat to Russell Wilson’s life? That’s DangeRuss!

Finally, Ricardo Lockette has told his story about the hit that ended his career. Read the full version at The Player’s tribune. I was watching that game, and it was a frightening moment. I’m just happy dude can still walk.


The next two days have Euro semi-final matches. Portugal – Wales on Wednesday; Germany – France on Thursday. In an ideal world, Portugal – France is the final FIFA wants, because it allows a marquee player and the host nation to line up against each other. As we have learned, I’m the worst at predictions, so there’s no guessing from me about this. I just hope neither game goes to penalties, because that’s just the worst.

The best, however, was Iceland returning home to a hero’s welcome and leading the gathered throng in one more round of the “viking clap”, something that has surpassed Fred Smoot in google searches about VD in Minnesota.

https://youtu.be/R-oggCxvj4E

If you want to watch the whole ceremony, and understand Icelandic, here’s a link.

Tonight’s Sports:

  • MLB: national (on ESPN)
    • 7:00 – All-Star Game selection show
    • 8:00 – Pirates @ Cardinals 

Alternative programming:

  • Showtime – 60 Minutes Sports – 9:00
    • among the topics covered, hurling.
  • FXX – The Simpsons 4-hour block. Highlights:
    • 9:00 – “24 Minutes”
    • 11:00 – “Poppa’s Got a Brand New Badge”
  • E! – Botched – 9:00
    • “Short Changed at the Nipple Bank”

Twenty days to go until training camps open. WE CAN MAKE IT!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Duchess

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Covalent Blonde

WHY IS THE INTERNET FILLED WITH BETTER THAN DANCERS ME?

Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

YOU KNOW WHAT BIG FEET MEAN!!

Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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Fronkenshteen

Hey-ooooo. Clocked out. Getting banged up. STL-PITT on the tee-vee. What’d I miss?

Spanky Datass

Awww … not much … JUST AN ONGOING DANCE PARTAAAAYYYYYY!!!!1!!!!!
http://66.media.tumblr.com/bd66f0b2f6982d6f5d353113d000a75a/tumblr_n4yncp6Ede1rk3uipo1_500.gif
Just be careful ’cause a ladys choice dance in bound to drop soon.

Brick Meathook

“Who’s a good lion? Who’s a good lion? Is it you? Is it you?”

Unsurprised

Oh, Hell. I need to go.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

House Party!

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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Unsurprised

God damn you.

King Hippo

NICE diet aid!!!

Unsurprised
JustStopDude
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
JustStopDude
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
JustStopDude
JustStopDude

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Duchess

Holy shit the Bubble hat football helmet guy that Daniel Tosh is interviewing is absolutely insane.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I posted one a while ago that was a slo-mo of that; DAMN, what a scene.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Good choice; she’s not dancing, but her boobs are.

Unsurprised

Exactly

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

Wow, really? Fuck you.
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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

GOD FUCKING DAMNIT

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

Winner!!!
(very nice, Moose…cheers to you)

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

What monster makes a gif that small?

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Spanky Datass
Unsurprised
Spanky Datass
Duchess

So America Got Talent is judged by a German, a Canadian and two people from the UK. The primary sponsor is Dunken Donuts whose CEO is from London…

America’s Got Talent is as American as America the Beer!

Unsurprised

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Counterpoint:
http://finsnation.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/girl-dance.gif

(NSFW version…totally worth it)
h
ttp://www.sexvideogif.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/17/Katee-Owen-naughy-look.gif

As an aside, I once dated a girl who could be this girl’s twin. Too bad she had nothing going upstairs. And by upstairs I mean brains, not boobs. Wow she was dumb.

Unsurprised

I doubt Katee is winning the Fields Medal any time soon.

ballsofsteelandfury

How long could you be with a girl like that?

5-10 minutes tops.

theeWeeBabySeamus

We dated for almost two years.
But yes, 5-10 minutes at a time.
LMFAO.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

BEST 17 SECONDS OF HER LIFE!

Shogun Marcus

I would have liked to see Montana.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That’s what I tell my dog; “One bark, one bark only….”

Doesn’t usually work; she thinks I have a shitty Scottish shitty Russian accent.

Unsurprised

Season 5 is definitely the best of The Simpsons.

watchcartoonsonline (.) eu (/) watch-the-simpsons-season-5-full-episodes-online-free

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Senor Weaselo

And then he became a bald hipster.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CwmtkFPYXsg

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

wut the hull?

Unsurprised

WHO COULD HAVE EVER SEEN THIS RESULT?!?

Spanky Datass

“Cunningham’s daughter is an Olympic quality athlete? … … … SIGN HER!” –Zombie Al Davis

Unsurprised

This Lockette article is killing me. It’s so easy to navel gaze and be selfish while ignoring what we have because we can’t disregard the envy for things we don’t. This guy nearly lost everything. I just started tearing up when he went to give away his Seahawks clothes and actually stopped and listened to the homeless guy he decided to give them to.

“I could tell that he was extremely intelligent. He told me he had a Ph.D., and had been living a regular life. Then, a few years ago, his wife, son, and a nephew who lived with him had all been killed in a car accident.

“He said, ‘Ever since then, I just lost my will to live. I lost the will to cut my hair. I lost the will to brush my teeth. There’s no other woman for me. My family is gone, and I just don’t care anymore.’

“He had no idea who I was. He didn’t know my story at all. I barely even spoke. I just listened to him, and he was so appreciative that somebody in the world cared to sit with him for 20 minutes.”

JustStopDude

I am quitting smoking for the 2,012th time.

I hate you all…I hate the world…and I would drop kick an infant off a bridge for a smoke.

Its been all of 6 hours…

Unsurprised

Six down.

Spanky Datass

I’ve cut back my smoking to only when I drink. The problem with that is I drink nightly and smoke like an angry locomotive. Hang tough!

JustStopDude

I got customers flying in from overseas in like a week and a half for about 60 hours of training. I know I am going to start up…mainly because I use cigs as a way to breakup the time.

But I seriously need to cut down.

Horatio Cornblower

I’ve been thinking of starting. What brand would you recommend?

Spanky Datass

If you can’t look as good as Faye Dunaway when you smoke you shouldn’t start. It’s like some kinda law or somethin’.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/06b8a099052d9f4dbbec74048b7fe24a/tumblr_o9crrp4fVd1rhp4nco1_500.jpg

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ah, Artie Donovan. That takes me back.
Fuck you, Irsay.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ugh, arty Donovan is the worst Donovan.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ha!!! Nice.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Wait….there’s a “nipple bank”….?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

After seeing that viking clap, the residents of every coastal community from St. Petersburg to Halifax collectively shat their pants.

King Hippo

Like George Carlin said “When you see those blue eyes sailin’ out of the North you better watch out! Cause we’re comin’ brother, and we’re takin’ it, and if we can’t take it we’ll burn it, and if we can’t burn it we’ll FUCK IT!!”

Unsurprised

I meant to ask earlier, but has anyone else watched or played Hurling? I had a roommate who played in a hurling league here (He’s super Irish) and I have been intrigued by it but never got around to playing on account of being a fatass means my stamina sucks.

Horatio Cornblower

I saw a match at Fenway (shut it) last year. It’s basically a bunch of Irish running around hitting each other with sticks, but it looks like a ton of fun. I had a decent grasp of the rules during the actual match but right now I couldn’t tell you one of them.

Unsurprised

That’s basically it.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

From Russia With Love is on tv, so I see no reason for me to finish all the things I was supposed to do today that I didn’t.

Senor Weaselo

Evening folks, full day off spent doing more or less fuck-all. If you haven’t signed up for the DFO BattleBots bracket challenge do that, signups close when I leave for my rehearsal Thursday, so 4/4:30ish DFO time.
http://challonge.com/dfobattlebotspredictioncontest/predictions

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I just filled one out, it should go about as well as my AFL picks.

King Hippo

WOO!!! Redbirds on the teevee box, means no mlb.tv-induced rage FOAR Hippo!!

Also, my twin young’uns got the call for drivers’ ed road lessons today. A whopping TWENTY-THREE hours’ notice, too. Whilst I am getting the house ready to sell and their mom leaves town for business for two weeks this Friday.

Good thing I have booze ‘n’ pillz. I said yes, so as not to delay their “12 month clock” to get their licenses next summer under the Nazi-fied NC teen driving laws. Allowing me to rant here…new drivers are gonna suck at first because they’re NEW AT IT. And they piddly little shit that lawmakers do to make it harder for licensing only really make it more of a pain in the parents’ collective asses, and have next to ZERO nexus to common fucking sense. Which of course…cannot be fucking legislated. But we have to look like we are trying, don’t we? FUCKING SOCIETY.

Unsurprised

Goddamn government.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Dude, take a deep breath and remember….this is the first step to getting them the fuck out of the house.
Eyes on the prize, soldier.

King Hippo

amen to that!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh