Happy Sabbath!
There are a lot of important sporting events happening this morning. Before we begin, did you see this weird Madden glitch catch on Friday? Maple NFL is so crazy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjN-bU6_yIA
Here’s what’s on the menu:
1) Wimbledon Final: 5 AM PST. TSN, ESPN
Canada’s Milos Raonic vs Scotland’s Andy Murray: The UK has had a pretty bad four weeks. Brexit turned into a dumpster fire and England lost to Iceland in the Round of 16 at the Euros. The UK are looking for something, anything, to celebrate. Enter Andy Murray. The UK is putting an awful lot of pressure on him to win.
Milos Raonic, on the other hand, became the first Canadian male in history to make it to a Wimbledon final. It would be absolutely hilarious if a guy from the Commonwealth were to crush the hopes and dreams of an already disillusioned UK. As I said last time, every time Milos wins a game, Seinfeld fans get to rejoice and say:
It’s your geographical duty to cheer for Milos! Plus, I think the UK will be on severe suicide watch if Murray loses.
Maybe we should tell them the last time Canada played Iceland, they tied 1-1.
2) FIBA Regional Finals, 5:55am PST, on TSN 2: Canada vs France
When I last did an open thread, Canada had won and was on their way to the semi-final regionals against New Zealand. They survived and now get to play a pretty stacked French team. The winner of this game qualifies for the Nationals in Rio.
France are the overwhelming favorites as a lot of Canada’s best players aren’t playing right now. Thanks a lot, Steve Nash.
3) Euro 2016 Championship Finals, 12:00PM PST, TSN, ESPN: Portugal vs France
Thoughts:
France are the overwhelming favorites to win this game. They need to capitalize on the home field advantage and take it to Portugal early.
With that said, I actually like Portugal’s chances to win. France has home field advantage, which might make them a little more nervous as the fear of losing infront of your home crowd is real. Championship matches are usually pretty tight, which also plays into Portugal’s hand, as all their matches are close since their coach, Santos, took over 2-3 years ago.
Portugal is actually comfortable playing defense and playing without the ball. If it’s a tight 0-0 game and it’s in the second half, France–a team known for being dysfunctional– might panic, which could lead to a mistake for Portugal to capitalize on.
Just like the UK will be devastated if Murray loses today, France would be crushed if their basketball and soccer team were to lose. Which is why it needs to happen, damnit!
Ideally, Portugal will beat France and Ronaldo will score a goal, which will make him pass Frenchman Michel Platini as the all-time goal scorer at the Euros. That would be an excellent kick to the balls.
Enjoy the games!
Prediction-
Nobody is going to score a goal at any time ever again in the history of the Euros.
/you can take that to any one of the many failed euro banks!
I am certain the Scotchnaut empire is Too Big to Fail. Non?
The Scotchnaut empire is Too Willing to BBQ. Oui!
I mean, if this goes to pens, you’d have to favour the side with Hugo Lloris. But still…you can hear Los Frogs’ assholes puckering all the way on this side of the pond…
I haven’t seen a Frenchman miss that badly since Maginot!
Portugal is both the originator and the Grand High Poobah of the Transatlantic Slave Trade with a simply mind-boggling 38.5% of the entire “market.”
Only 6.45% of the entire trade came to British North America.
The toll of human misery can never be calculated.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atlantic_slave_trade
The toll of human misery cannot be calculated…
I dunno, maybe you could distribute the misery equivalent of fitness trackers at a Browns game and extrapolate from that?
Perhaps…
http://static1.squarespace.com/static/5328b32be4b0b8555ae06475/5328be4ce4b0c05f323cb960/5356aea7e4b0fe1121e26466/1430489495152/why+is+daddy+sad+on+sunday+front+cover+cleveland+coloring+book.jpg
Afternoon folks. I am on my fourth Mimosa. Girl brunch is weird, but I’m with why-is-she-with-that-guy-from-the-party-and-not-Senorita-Weaselo and a friend of hers before we see a show tonight. The things I do for this girl, although the show was something we decided to do when we almost got together back in April/May.
http://i.makeagif.com/media/4-12-2015/piyeQz.gif
Good luck, man. I’m rooting for you.
I’m always rooting for Senor.
He’s like the son I never wanted.
Update: FIFTH Mimosa. I GON DRANK.
I HAVEN’T SEEN PORTUGAL SO ADAMANT TO NOT RELINQUISH A GOAL SINCE 1961 WHEN THEY REFUSED TO RELINQUISH GOA!
http://goanfoodnj.com/images/food/lobster_green_masala.jpg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTsg9i6lvqU
I just realized that now I can enthusiastically root for Portugal, cause if they win it will be without Ronaldo being able to take any credit for it (aside from getting them to the final and all those goals and assists and stuff)
He’s just not the player you want in a taxing situation
(Messi’s not the only one who likes to evade taxes: http://www.sport-english.com/en/news/liga-bbva/cristiano-ronaldo-allegedly-avoided-tax-image-rights-contract-4203226)
Being exclusively involved for 20+ years denied me some of the carnal experiences you all so cherish.
I plan on fully exploiting my second life in this regard once I’m not working 3AM–3PM.
Andy Reid would like to know more about these “caramel experiences” you mentioned.
http://www.gygi.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Dollarphotoclub_70100843.jpg
“Listen-not hearing a single negative thing said to your face since the age of 10 is much more difficult to deal with than ‘you people’ think.”
-Ronaldo
What do you think he means by “you people?”
People not as good as he is at the soccer/football.
Ah.
http://cdn.smosh.com/sites/default/files/bloguploads/funny-seems-legit-shoes-van.jpg
Site be dodgy.
Thanks to everyone for the well wishes earlier. lady snow has managed a shower and some food and is feeling much better.
“Great news! Hopefully you’ve taste-tested some of her pain-killers.”
-Hippo
we enjoy her beer commentary, so her Lesser Footy whilst on painkillers ruminations should be superb!
/also what scotchy said
I still have the humerus if she wants it.
Otherwise I’m going to sell it on eBay.
http://static1.gamespot.com/uploads/original/1513/15139076/2975732-not+like+this+gif.gif
It’s a hot day, so I just hung some laundry outside. Now I’m debating whether to keep watching this or to go back outside and watch it dry.
Okay, I made it. How’s the match look?
LOOKIT WILLIS FUCKING REED OVER HERE
That moth was disrespectful as fuck when they were carting him off.
I guess we will see what quality horse tranquilizers Portugal has access to…
“It’s just a sprain.”
-Ronaldo channels Monty Python’s Black Knight
ronaldo ded
“I thought Ronaldo’s performance lacked conviction.”
– Lionel Messi
boys don’t cry ronaldo ,, ppl forget that
That French DJ is definitely diddling that LP.
[just finishes crushing previous high score in Star Defender 3]
Okay. Who’s next?
I have been mulling over a serious problem.
Does it make any sense that an all-MURKAN patriot like Frank Drebin didn’t know the words to the Star-Spangled Banner?
Name me an All-Murikan patriot that can quote the Constitution beyond “SECOND AMENDMENT!”
They don’t sing the Constitution before every sporting event.
Right in mid stretch the right knee told me to go fuck myself.
Guess I’m staying home.
It’s alright, I’ve got cooking to do anyway.
Hey Beerguy Rob, what was the name of the park you took your dog to in that open thread? The one with the waterfall in the background . I think it was in North Van
Had to move two sets of leather couches among many other things yesterday. I had one slice of pizza, half a beer and was done.
/having a desk job and a long commute for the last 12 years did not prepare me in any way for yesterday
I’m listening to Eddie Izzard’s “Dressed To Kill” show. I don’t know how many nights he edited together to make this recording, but it’s easily in my top 5 comedy “albums” (for lack of a better vocabulary) of all time.
Well, I’m off to get ready and go out to eat the best damn fish and chips and clam chower in Canada while watching the Euros finals.
Enjoy the game, everyone!
So, in Sill’s response of feeding into the US machine of hating on Ronaldo, I will say to you, if you don’t cheer for Portugal, the terrorists have won.
Ronaldo is a great guy, damnit! Remember when the terrorists blew up the parents of Haidar of Lebanon? Here he is meeting that kid. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IEbs1SpJQ5E)
Here he is meeting the kid that was tripped by that monster Hungarian reporter
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aE2qvzVcO78
You know what France wants to do? They want to leave the EU and become even more racist than they already are. Charlie Hebdo isn’t Free Speech. Charlie Hebdo is nothing but a hate crime. Why isn’t it in France? Because it only opresses POC. That’s not the Americ—never mind, that’s pretty similar. But it’s in French!
Watching Family Feud right now and the family that won, had an incredibly gorgeous mom with her dude bro sons. Those guys were freuding the shit out of being in love with their hot mom.
How dare you.
I learned my Ronaldo hate in the UK.
Charlie Hebdo has a weekly circulation of about 280,000, up from only 60,000 before its office was first attacked in 2011.
This is just a shade under 0.004% of the French population.
Whatever you think of Charlie Hebdo, it isn’t at all representative of France as a whole.
Good point. Let’s holler for Wakez to be banned.
http://www.clipartbest.com/cliparts/yco/g5B/ycog5Bpgi.png
Curious as to why this is being liked.
Wakezilla didn’t use an ethnic slur in his comment.
blaxabbath did.
What am I missing here?
Man, Canada is having a bitter sweet weekend. They lost to France in the FIBA finals, meaning no Nationals for them and Milos lost to Murray.
On the plus side, at least Brock Lesnar considers himself Canadian. That’s our new war machine up north.
I’m up and moving.
Time to stretch and get walking.
I’ll do about 5 miles today.
It’s only 72 but humidity is about 80% and there’s this hill that has the same type of incline those bicycles were climbing but not as sustained.
Good luck. I’ve had some drinks already and plan on getting hammered for the Euros
I made that pork loin recipe last night with the mustard/garlic/rosemary marinade. God damn delicious! I took some pics with my iPhone 6, but am too stupid to figure out how to format them in whichever way would be necessary for me to post them here. Thanks!
That’s fucking great! It really is simple and tasty. It goes really well with garlic rosemary potatoes or some home made mac and cheese.
I’m so glad you made it.
Pork loin rules!
Hooray for dresses. One article of clothing and I’m decent and ready to go out. It is great lazy clothing. I don’t know how you guys do it, having to put on multiple articles of clothing all the damn time. We should adopt the formal robe and pretend we’re all shieks.
Arabic clothing is good for this and it feels quite nice.
What were these called in Defending Your Life? Toupas or something?
Counterpoint:
Settlement agreement: back to sleep for 60-90 minutes then walk then gym tonight after dinner.
So, lady snow’s broken her arm pretty badly, enough that it’s going to need surgery. She tripped over something, maybe a cat, and fell on it. The situation’s not going to get any worse, and it’ll probably get better now that I’ve picked up her meds, but she’s in a lot of pain right now.
That sucks. I hope the painkillers help. I will also volunteer to take in the cat that I’m sure is totally sorry for trying to kill lady snow.
If it is a cat-related injury, it wouldn’t be our first. Battlecat tripped me in the kitchen this past screen and my hand landed on a live burner. Avoided an emergency room trip there, but it hurt like hell.
My most dangerous kitchen pet was a basset hound. Ninja quiet, always hungry, and so low to the ground he wouldn’t appear in your peripheral vision as you turned from the stove. Big old meat-speed bump.
Hope your wife is ok & feels better soon.
Tripping on cats is really hazardous. They’re cuddly, but they’re also treacherous bastards. Hope she heals quick.
Oh shit.
Sorry to here that man.
Give her our best and here’s hoping for a quick and compete recovery.
She’s also got time to help with beer barrel research.
Heal quickly lady Snow.
This is why you get a dog! They only trip the Mrs when she’s yelling at you! #Mansbestfriend.
Seriously though, that’s insane and I hope your wife feels better.
That’s not true at all. Our new(ish) puppy is adorable but can sneak up behind you and trip you like he was trained by the Viet Cong, and his favorite thing to do is run down the stairs behind you right behind your knees.
Get well soon Lady Snow.
lady snow can have it if she wants.
Hope she’s on the mend soon!
I’m glad it’s not worse. I hope Lady Snow feels better very soon!
I’m going to give some clues about the topic of next week’s Sunday Gravy.
Things involved include:
A food processor.
A floured surface
A potato ricer
Some boiling water
A skillet
A cheese grater
Time starts now!
Gnocchi and cheese curds?
YOU!
You’re good you!
No cheese curds.
Think herbal.
Manatee tartare
They’re easy as hell to catch.
It’s really fun to say the word spaetzle.
Spaetzle goes really well with goulash.
Another fun word and something I’ve given a recipe for.
/changes dinner plans.
I’m in the same boat as yeah right. Walk. Gym. Sleep.
If I want until noon I can go get a cheap taco on my walk. But waiting virtually ensures the coffee shop’s Times crossword will be gone. It may already be.
Milos is young and pretty damn good. I’m hungover, just played 1.5 hours of tennis, probably got a sunburn, and now I have to be social and people and stuff. I should be fake sick on Monday and just sleep. I didn’t use any sick days last year and that shit don’t roll over.
DO IT
I’ve got about 12 days to use before the end of the year.
What I like to do is take every Monday off for the entire months of October through the end of the year.
It’s around prestige movie time so I just go to the movies, grab some lunch and enjoy 4 day work weeks for 3 months.
It’s a shame Milos didn’t win. Nationalism aside, we need a new batch of stars in the Men’s circuit and Milos could have been one of them had he won.
Morning folks.
I’m debating walk vs gym vs sleeping in.
Think I’m leaning walk.
Just not quite yet.
I’ve got my work cut out for me in the kitchen today.
“Think I’m leaning walk.”
Well, don’t feel too bad; a lot of people limp after knee surgery.
Think how it feels after 5 surgeries.
I’m still fighting through though.
Ice and anti inflammatories for lyfe!
Sleep in so I can vicariously live your sleeping in experience.
This is the best bike race I’ve ever seen. Weather and the climb and the constant attacking.
Nice bikini woman running alongside…
http://cdn.theatlantic.com/static/infocus/tdf072312/s_t09_RTR34XOW.jpg
I would HATE to be driving one of those support vehicles. You are going SO SLOW and you have to make sure not to hit anyone. Fuck that shit.
I’d drive right up the side of the road and take out all those idiots that run out at the riders.
I have no idea why that’s still allowed.
OAR you can go full homicidal maniac!
http://www.gifbin.com/bin/022011/1298914487_car-plows-through-cyclists.gif
What the fuck?
People are assholes.
It’s hailing at the finish line for this stage.
Hailing.
On a mountain top.
In a bicycle race.
Now this is a race worth watching!
/never been happier to have given up childhood cycling ambition
Apparently they pick up 900′-1,000′ over the last 2.5 miles.
On bicycles.
Jesus.
“although he now lives here in the heart of Andorra”
I did not realize Andorra was big enough to need internal organs; I always thought of them as more of a single-cell organism nation-state.
You really want this guy to win?
Portugal sucks as a country. No one ever says, “I just got back from Lisbon AND IT CHANGED MY LIFE” The only thing of note that happened to me in three trips there was getting caught out in a flash downpour that filled up my shoes in like five seconds. The food there sucks too. PORK AND CLAMS AGAIN WOO
I used to hate France like a good MURKAN until I actually worked there and learned something about the nation and its people. I went to Paris AND IT CHANGED MY LIFE
And let’s not forget who footed the bill for the US in the first place.
Allez les Bleus!
Remember the Lisbon Earthquake of 15…uh, 15…
Shit.
*1755.
Way off.
They left Carmo Church in its state of ruin as a memorial:
http://previews.123rf.com/images/luissantos84/luissantos841007/luissantos84100700051/7402187-famous-Carmo-Church-ruins-after-the-earthquake-in-1755-in-Lisbon-Portugal-Stock-Photo.jpg
Counterpoint:
http://www.ronaldocr7.com/cristiano-ronaldo-girlfriends/
Those are the primary sources of the hate for me.
Although I agree that Los Frogs have been the good guy in this tourney ever since Iceland went out, I have been told that the Portugese coast is one of those “hidden gem” vacation spots. Cheap, laid back as fuck, and beautiful. Non-touristy, too.
Of course, assuming you are an American commentist and enjoy NAWT being an English subject, you owe Los Frogs at least a fist bump and a nod. In fact, I would say that historically they have been as damned fine an ally as you would ever want to have. Even in the Vichy years, there was some fierce fucking resistance, and a lot of brave fucking Frogs gave their lives to resist the barbarians invading and amongst their own. And to save their Jewish neighbours.
And it’s one hell of an awesome country to visit. Even friends of a more conservative political persuasion have always come back giving it a big thumbs up. As opposed to, say, Italy. Especially if you are a woman.
But the stereotypes are still lots of fun. I will give you that!!
Ribbit.
The parts of the coast I saw were neither cheap nor non-touristy.
Everything is better in Spain. Just go there instead.
France is more racist. WAY more racist.
Everywhere in Western Europe is equally racist except Italy.
BOOOOOOOOOO!
I’m watching the last ten miles of the Tour de France (sponsored by EPO) race.
I don’t think I’d walk up some of the hills these guys climb on bikes.
I wouldn’t DRIVE those hills.
Driving would be even worse; I’m pretty sure my car’s transmission would give up and walk back down.
It helps when your bike has a tiny engine.
http://road.cc/sites/default/files/styles/main_width/public/motor-hidden-bike-frame-stade-2-video-image-april-2016.jpg
I love the “tiny engine inside the bicycle” cheating thing. It just cracks me up.
hey guys
RESPECT THE SUN MURRAY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=onLp0P3D0AI&list=PL1g4g7C3HoMlWi4dld61IsDTZ14qJt7Tl
FIRST!
Just kidding, I’m still awake from last night. I have no idea where this hooker came from. She’s not dead, but she sure is snoring up a storm. I hope I had a good time.
Hey, you made her snore, I say you are safe to assume yes. Is there any coke left?
/silly question, there is NEVAR any coke left
http://www.funcatpictures.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/cocaine.jpg
You know, it’s been at least a decade since First was relevant, so, now it’s a good vintage joke!