Your “Olympic Hall of Fame Weekend” Friday Open Thread

NFL late-Friday News Dump:

  • The Cardinals have extended Fitty through 2017 and Carson Palmer through 2018.
  • Mike McCarthy vows to never give up play calling again. So get ready for more Packer field goals from the three.
  • Brandon Marshall threw a punch at Darrelle Revis in practice Friday. Looks like the Jets are in mid-season form.
  • Third-year Titan’s safety has been suspended for opening day for violating the League’s substance abuse policy.
  • Aaron Rodgers is expected to miss the Hall of Fame Game Sunday. Because, reasons.
    • Maybe they can get Brett Favre to play. Some idiot at the NFL Network asked him whether he’d like to get paid to back up Tony Romo. Fortunately, he implied no, which is more truthful than when he says no.

Finally, with Gisele out of the country for the Olympics, Tommy was free to say some things about his suspension.

Since the video won’t embed, here’s a brief transcription from For The Win:

“I think it’s just personal, and I try to move on from it. I try to, like I said, focus on the positive and being here with my teammates and getting better. You know, you don’t want to go out and do anything besides being a great example for your teammates, and we’ve got a lot of competitive guys that have been out here on the practice field. And I think that’s where the focus needs to be.”

I wanted to go further down the delusion rabbit hole, but Barstool Sports made me want to remove my eyes with a stick. This shot at right from their Patriots page should give you an idea. I can’t wait for Peter King on Monday.


It’s Hall of Fame weekend. In honour of that, here’s Brett Favre’s final pass as a Packer, from the seat I watched it from.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Nothing worse than sitting in that cold only to watch the Giants win because of some Hall of Fame stupidity. Which he totally didn’t commit again in Minnesota three years later.

Enjoy the coat, Gunslinger.


As a Canadian, whenever an Olympics comes around I’m expected to recount the few good times and the plenty of bad this quadrennial festival brings to the fore. Canada has hosted two Winter Olympics – Vancouver & Calgary – and the Montreal Summer Olympics. The Winter Olympics were great successes, if you overlook the winning-no-gold in Calgary and the oops-a-luge-guy-died from Vancouver. But if Rio turns out to be a shitshow, all Canadian news will focus on is how it will have been the worst Summer games since Montreal.

Greg Joy – 1976 Silver Medallist

Montreal was the gold standard for boondoggles. The Olympics were awarded to Montreal after the 1967 Centennial, when the Montreal Expo gave visions of Canada competing on the world stage with more-traditional powers. What they hadn’t counted on were the corrupt nature of Quebec politics and the heavy hands of Quebec’s labour associations & unions. The federal & provincial governments gave money to the Montreal committee with no oversight, until in 1975 the upper levels finally forced the city to accept their control. Major contracts were given to construction companies with ‘alleged’ mafia ties, and unions held up construction until the were forced to be paid overtime to ensure completion. The Guardian recounts that out of a total of 530 potential working days between December 1974 and April 1976, the workers would be on strike for 155 days – 30% of the work time available. They didn’t finish building the Olympic Stadium until the morning of the opening ceremony, and rumours still abound that they were installing seats during the March of Athletes.

Speaking of athletes, there was a boycott by most African countries, because New Zealand was allowed to attend Montreal despite violating the international sporting ban on travelling to South Africa by going there on a rugby tour.

Here’s what it came down to, and is one more reason the IOC continues to anger Sill by not having full-15 in the Olympics.

They didn’t finish paying off the stadium until 2006. Adjusted for inflation, the cost of “The Big Owe” was $1.6 billion. BEAT THAT, NFL OWNERS!


This month’s “Malt of the Month” is Cardhu Distilling’s 12 Year-Old with Two-glass pack. Hmm…let’s see what your transcript says:

  • APPEARANCE: Golden honey.
  • NOSE: At full strength, heady, nose prickle, pear drops and tightly integrated heather, resin and sweet honey-nut notes. Enticing. Intriguing. With a little water, still harmonious but less pronounced, allowing some malt-cereal, soft, spicy wood, moorland and faint traces of wood-smoke to appear.
  • BODY: Soft, pleasing, medium.
  • PALATE: Palate Well balanced, smooth mouthfeel; short punch, sweet and fresh, then a pronounced drying effect. Enjoyable at any time, with little or no water.
  • FINISH: Quite short. Some lingering sweet smoke in the attractive, drying aftertaste.

Brief research on Wikipedia tells me Cardhu is “a Speyside distillery near Archiestown, Moray, Scotland, founded by the whisky smuggler John Cumming in 1824. The distillery is currently run by Diageo and the distillery’s Scotch whisky makes up an important part of the famous Johnnie Walker blended whiskies. The word “Cardhu” derives from the Scots Gaelic Carn Dubh, meaning “Black Rock”.”

Well, that rules me out. Not a Speyside fan.


Tonight’s sports:

  • Olympics: Opening Ceremonies
    • NBC: 7:30 EDT, 6:30 CDT, 7:30 PDT (tape-delay)
    • CBC: 7:00 EDT, 4:00 PDT (tape-delay)
    • TSN: 6:30 EDT, 3:30 PDT (live)
  • Boxing: Premier Boxing Champions – 9:00 (ESPN)
    • Benavidez-Douglin (light heavyweights)
  • TEH KITTEZ: Kitten Summer Games – 8:00 (Hallmark)

Remember that even though the Hall of Fame Game is terrible, terrible football, it IS football, and it’s just four short weeks until the regular season. WE CAN DO THIS!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Added to bucket list….
Right Said Fred Karaoke with ICRM.
(you missed your shot Dok, great birthing ass or not)

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

One of my all-time favorite episodes.

Unsurprised

Then when Albuquerque got an expansion AAA team they named them the goddamn Isotopes after this episode.

Unsurprised

Orbit, the mascot
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He’s no BOLTMAN

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I had a chance to go to a game, and passed on it. One of a few regrets.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I am going to Chargers Fanfest tomorrow and going to do my damnedest to track down BOLTMAN. Are there any questions you have for him that will not end with my Earthly-vessel being sacrificed to the Charged Ones?

theeWeeBabySeamus

How many of PR’s kids did he father?

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

You’re trying to get me killed.

Don T

How do you react to long metal poles?

Don T

Wait: that’s more of a Nate Kaeding question.

Doktor Zymm

I would do this for karaoke if anywhere had it.

Col. Duke LaCross

There better be a goddamn Ayrton Senna tribute at some point.

Croooow

Bummer Pele was unable to have the honor of lighting the torch.

Unsurprised

Since I’m not watching the Olympics and I decided to check the titty forum for the day
http://115.imagebam.com/download/F38F9d1cFQOJWw8yiuIuvg/49843/498425334/daryl%20hannah.gif

Unsurprised

That being the actress Daryl Hannah, of Splash and Kill Bill and The Pope of Greenwich Village (the source of this gif and now on Amazon Prime); not Darryl Hanah, her porn star doppelgänger.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I am impressed with the depth of your awareness of this issue.
/totally not googling porn Daryl Hannah right now

Unsurprised

Oh, fuck. I’m That Guy

Doktor Zymm

I have a doppelganger! I don’t think she’s done porn, but I don’t really know. All I know is that she stole a bunch of beers from a bar in my neighborhood, and when I tried to go drink there I had to prove I wasn’t her before they served me.

Sill Bimmons

I got arrested in Bethlehem, PA once because of a mistaken identity.

Doktor Zymm

What sort of steel worker do you look like?

theeWeeBabySeamus

LMFAO!!!!
If there is a way to get images on the banner quote, this be the reason to try.

Genital Issimo

I sat next to Daryl Hannah at a Luau on the big island back in 2000. As I thought of intro lines to say to her, I was one of the middle aged white men that the hula girls bring up on stage to dance with them so every one can chortle at the juxtaposition of limber hula girls dancing with discombobulated howlies. She was not there when I got back to my seat.

theeWeeBabySeamus

We adjourned to the presidential suite, ordered room service and had a lovely time.
I enjoyed the portion of your dance I was able to see, however.
/I’ve said too much

Genital Issimo

Wait – They’re just getting ready to do the parade of nations. How were you guys rating the gals already?

This is not LIVE???
Am I drunk?

Croooow

Poland is #1

theeWeeBabySeamus

Poland is #1
– A. Hitler

Don T

Kitten Summer Games on the Hallmark Chanel. Good thing Russ Meyer did not live to see it.

...

I’m on my third Super Pils, so I’m posting this:

http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/cover_story/2016/07/the_people_who_hate_hillary_clinton_the_most.html

Just read it to realize that people have the dumbest feels-driven reasons when they pick candidates.

Doktor Zymm

I’ve read this one…and it’s okay, but a bit scattered. This is still my fav. And also the most data driven! MMMMM DATA. http://www.dailykos.com/story/2016/6/11/1537582/-The-most-thorough-profound-and-moving-defense-of-Hillary-Clinton-I-have-ever-seen

...

What I also find amazing reading this is how many people swung wildly from supporting a leftist to a rightist candidate and back. These people aren’t remotely alike! How can you support each of them?!

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Eh, people vote for weird reasons. Baby Bush got elected because he seemed like a guy someone would want to have a beer with. Which is just moronic.

Also, Gore ran a lousy campaign.

But with HRC, she’s a weirdly (for a politician) private person, and with her husband standing next to her, her remoteness because even more apparent. Which turns people off. I’m going to vote for her (because HAHAHAHA ARE YOU KIDDING ME? is the alternative)…and I’m really, really hoping that she’s almost the inverse of Obama. He was a great candidate, kind of a shitty progressive prez (want to get me started on his signing the DARK act? Don’t go there, man!). She might be the opposite. I doubt it…I mean, look at her running mate…but I still have some (stupid) hope.

At least she’s not an anti-vaxxer, like every other candidate. So we know she’s not an idiot.

...

I’ve read in more than one place that people who actually get into a room with her in a way they can actually interact with her they: 1) find she’s very personable and likeable, 2) a huge policy wonk who has thought about a lot of stuff.

If you’re like me and think the job of the head of the Executive Branch is, you know, execution, you like those thing since they point to a competent leader who can work with the major players.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

I don’t doubt it. She’s always struck me as very intelligent.

I also harbor a secret hope that she’s also vindictive enough to open a can of whoop-ass on the GOP assholes who’ve been making her life hell for the last 20 years.

Paul Ryan: What’s on your mind, Mrs. President?
President Clinton: Payback, motherfucker.

Unsurprised

I’ve heard that from the only person who I’d ever trust on the subject, which is good enough for me. After spending a forty years being subject to imbecilic sexist nonsense and a quarter century within that period being subjected nationally to the most cruelly sadistic and hateful attacks any American politician has or will ever be subject to, I can understand why she’s as secretive and private as she is. And as I understand it, she’s smarter than Bill, who is probably neck and neck with Nixon for being the smartest and most politically astute Presidents. And she doesn’t have Bill’s charisma, but no one does. To be fair, if I were her I wouldn’t be able to do it. I don’t care enough about anything enough to devote my life to it the way she has focused on public service in spite of the costs. The people of this country are fucking stupid and ungrateful and undeserving of her as a President.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

WOW…THEY JUST USED MORE CARBON TALKING ABOUT CLIMATE CHANGE AND BROADCASTING IT TO THE WORLD THAN THOSE DAMN TREES WILL EVER NEGATE.

Unsurprised

Of course Serbia produces a dynasty of snipers.

Doktor Zymm

You may have been drunk. You may have been VERY drunk. What’s your karaoke of choice? I do Johnny Cash, Cocaine Blues.
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view5/2400573/karaoke-b-o.gif

Col. Duke LaCross

David Lee Roth’s “Just a Gigolo!”

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Wednesday 13, “I Love to Say Fuck.”

Wait…this just might be why my wife won’t take me anywhere…

Col. Duke LaCross

“Rambo” works too.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Sister Christian

Sill Bimmons

Mambo No. 5

...

Anything by Alanis Morrissette. And sometimes Aqua’s Barbie Girl.

Doktor Zymm

We should go to Bobbie Love’s again, that’s fun stuff. I’ll buy you up to 4 drinks if you sing “I’m too Sexy” by Right Said Fred

...

To add some context for rest of you, last time I went to this bar a very nice gay man grabbed my ass while lifting me off the ground. It was oddly flattering but not something I was all that interested in experiencing again.

Doktor Zymm

I’m pretty sure I mentioned that at least one guy asked about you, and I told him you were straight. But everyone there is very nice and will respect your wishes. It’s not a bad place.

...

They did! I have no qualms about returning.

Doktor Zymm

And how many drinks to get you to sing Right Said Fred?

...

You buy them and you’ll find out.

Doktor Zymm

Fair enough. But if I buy all the drinks, there WILL be video. Only on this site, but this site is the internet.

...

Christ. Then people will realize I was lying when I said I wasn’t as goofy looking at Michael Phelps!

Beastmode Ate My Baby

The Silverblack covered Aqua’s “My Oh My” and it was amazing.

blaxabbath

Hillary is going to fuck up Djibouti before the 2022 games.

Doktor Zymm

Djibouti is the only country that I’ve gotten a visa for, but didn’t go to. I have Djibouti shame.

theeWeeBabySeamus

We all have booty shame. ‘s’OK.

Doktor Zymm

Nah, I may not be able to see my booty, cause it’s behind me, but I have it on the authority of multiple drunk guys and sidewalk assholes that it’s amazing.

Unsurprised

Not being able to see your own ass is probably a good thing. Unless you’re trying to go full Minaj.

Doktor Zymm

Very few people can see their own ass well, unless they’re going Exorcist rather than Minaj.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Unsurprised

I can see the edge if I stretch. It’s nothing to be proud of.

...

Pelvicly endowed!

Doktor Zymm

Eh, you’ve seen my ass, you can say better than I can

theeWeeBabySeamus

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...

I invented the term pelvicly endowed so I’m going to go with it.

But I can confirm the waist-to-hips ratio is excellent and I won’t argue with science telling me that tickles my inner lizard brain seeking maximum birth success.

blaxabbath

If I can’t get Kathy Lee and Hoda to host this, how about Morbo and Linda?

Doktor Zymm

MORBO

Unsurprised

“… and Morbo’s good friend Richard Nixon!”

...

Okay.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Constitutional right to be stupid invoked.
(fuck PeTA)

theeWeeBabySeamus

And yes, I’m am a veterinarian.
I repeat…FUCK PeTA!!!!!

Sill Bimmons
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Imma watch that again.

Sill Bimmons

I think i could watch it from now until the end of my life and never get bored of it.

Doktor Zymm

I like the woman in the background who’s looking at her with a fantastic blurry “wtf” expression.

Sill Bimmons

It’s a shame for the future of your baby that it isn’t going to be able to build proper neurological and muscular structures!

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Eh, at the rate and number of climate-related positive feedback loops, that kid’s fucked anyway.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Based only upon mom to be publicly half naked, arrogantly painted belly, holding a PeTA sign….I’d say that ship sailed long before conception.

theeWeeBabySeamus

/might still be holding onto some bitterness about direct conflicts with PeTA

Beastmode Ate My Baby

It’s OK, you’re among friends here.

...

They’re worthless, so that’s probably part of it.

theeWeeBabySeamus

It’s a long story which legally I’m probably best served to not share publicly. Let’s just say that one day they tried to strong arm me, as a veterinary health provider, to say publicly what their PR folks wanted said.
I told them to fuck off and get out of my clinic. Then proceeded to talk too much about how much their organization could eat the whole bag of dicks.
Which didn’t make them happy.
At one time it was on youtube, but I think they sued to get it taken down.

...

I mean, boobs.

Unsurprised

In the photo and in the group

Genital Issimo

Teachable moment – conflict is also a part of brazilian culture. Thanks NBC!

Doktor Zymm

Already better than 90% of SuperBowl half time shows I’ve seen, rapidly moving to 95%

Spur

Am out. See you nerds on Sunday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Spur

I want to party with the Serbian flag bearer and Polish women’s team.

Spur

Did we all survive?

blaxabbath

“Here comes Columbia. And, wow, they sure have a lot of energy for this late hour, don’t they?”

blaxabbath

“China is here now. So if you have any complaints about your gear, well, there you go Olympians.”

Doktor Zymm

So…based on these here GIS, I can only conclude that Brady Anderson was a butterface.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Spur

The Brazilian flag bearer is having the time of her life

Spur

Oh he mentioned Tim Duncan.
Time for me to kneel and pray.
#GoSpursGo

blaxabbath

“You might know the Cayman Islands as the foundation for which the richest Americans don’t have to bother paying taxes. This truly is a celebration of the global spirit!”

blaxabbath

This is NBC right? Why isn’t Kathy Lee and Hoda doing the commentating?

Genital Issimo

Didn’t some band already do the whole wall in blocks on stage and the knock it down thing??

BrettFavresColonoscopy

You’re thinking of the Kool-Aid Man

blaxabbath

Not olympic related, but Benjamin Watson sure knows how to ring in the NFL season.

herodotus450

According to GIS this is Brady Anderson
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So yes, I can get behind the nice ass comment.

Doktor Zymm

Methinks you had to scroll quite a bit to find that one. Or, it is google, they do know who you are and what you like.
http://www.mikematthewscreative.com/uploads/1/5/4/0/15405750/brady_anderson_poster.jpg

theeWeeBabySeamus

/erection
//no wait, forget I said that

blaxabbath

I love commercials with staged authentic home videos. It affirms my decisions to buy as many black market goods as possible.

Doktor Zymm

I don’t wear anything with a logo unless I’m getting paid, and no one pays me.

Spur

No wonder Putin tried to take over Ukraine.

Spur

Ukraine!! Another country with Beautiful people!!

...

My Russian ex-girlfriend spent a few months working there and would tell me about how gorgeous the women are and how they like American men.

In retrospect, it was fucking mean of her to troll me like that.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Have you been going thru my browser history again?

...

No, but I do like to forward the “Russian Girls DESPERATE For Love” spam emails to the ex now and then to troll her back.

Sill Bimmons

Bunch of pasty inbred farmboy Nazi sympathizers I MEAN MY OTHER PROUD AND NOBLE ANCESTORS

Gratliff

My Ukraine ancestors were on the eastern half and ended up in a concentration camp for feeding a starving jew!

Gratliff

That’d be my great grandmother. great grandfather totally worked for the nazis.

Sill Bimmons

My GG got out of Kiev in 1915 and I have no idea what happened to the rest of her family.

Gratliff

I’d hate to be the one to break it to you, but some of them aren’t with us anymore.

Spur

The Tongans are all greased up.

blaxabbath

Nothing says competitive spirit like crying because you made it to the opening ceremonies.

Doktor Zymm

Earliest sports memory : being at an Orioles game and hearing some women talking about Brady Anderson having a hot ass. Totally too young to get it at the time. GIS confirms that they were correct though.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah, he was really tight in the tushie.
/did I just say that out loud?

Doktor Zymm

damn skippy you did!
/just likes saying “damn skippy”

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fuck…that totally didn’t make me feel old.
Still tho, olive branch for my earlier misunderstanding and totally not threatening you with automatic weapons fire. As far as you know.
http://www.gifbin.com/bin/012013/1360172952_swim_team.gif

Doktor Zymm

That’s….impressive and I kinda wanna watch it over and over.

And if there’s gonna be automatic weapons involved, we should just buy a hoopty and shoot the shit out of it. Then dump it in front of a high school and say it’s a warning about drinking at prom.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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...

He had the most inexplicable 50 homerun season.

herodotus450
Gratliff

Tonga guy is getting so much pussy the next few weeks

Gratliff

Now that’s just not fair

blaxabbath

Bermuda shorts!!!!

Spur

East Europe is proof there is a God.

Spur

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Doktor Zymm

Can’t use kitchen equipment safely, 2/10, would not bang

blaxabbath

The Tiger Woods of Bengal.

It’s funny that they just recently got news of Tiger Woods being good. They’re in for a sad 2024….

herodotus450

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blaxabbath

Oh shit — here comes Barbados Slim!

Croooow

I learned the existence of Tajikistan from watching Carmen Sandiego on PBS.

herodotus450

So did a certain Senator from Delaware
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Doktor Zymm

Neither of those are shoe phones

Unsurprised

Joe Biden?

herodotus450
Spur

Switzerland flag bearer……fuck