Fuck, it’s early on the West Coast and yet we already have our first Gold medal and it’s
Virginia Thrasher from the USA in Air Rifle. You know, if you can’t make a good school shooting joke out of that, I don’t think I know you.
Lots of events on today with medals being handed out in Archery
Road Cycling, Fencing, Judo, Shooting (more American medals, y’all!), Swimming, and Weightlifting.
I propose a DFO Drinking Game/Posting Challenge: Every Gold medal winner gets a shot of the most common liquor from that country and a picture of a model from that country (could be male or female, no discrimination here) posted on this thread.
What say you?
BALLS’ TIP O’ THE DAY: The best way to watch the Olympics is to be in a country other than the US. If, for some reason, that is not possible, get a VPN and pretend you’re Canadian. They really have the best coverage and there is no nationalistic bent to the coverage. THANKS CANADIA!
Have at it!
$4.38 billion.
That is what NBC paid to broadcast the Olympics until 2020.
All that money…and they screw up simple shit…like scheduling popular sports on broadcast TV…and not doing 14 minutes of commercials in the first 30 minutes of the opening ceremony.
Was NBC’s coverage ever good?
Good money says they disagree with the second point. I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what they wanted to happen.
NBC is on record that it’s not about the sports, it;s about the ratings and the commercial money they get for those ratings. That’s why they do all those charming backstories about that one athlete who overcame incredible odds to get where they are today.
Which is a horribly polluted, hyperviolent and dead broke South American country on the verge of revolution.
I broke out the stopwatch last night for laughs. 1 hour and 9 minutes of commercials for a five hour broadcast.
That’s pretty good. I would expect well over two hours.
For some light entertainment read Clint Eastwood’s Esquire interview. You thought the chair talk was out of it.
Sorry, just reading through it and couldn’t….. jesus fuck damn it.
http://38.media.tumblr.com/d561de2a3d91f4c422c6a8d690d52390/tumblr_n88f4cjhUa1s07rj1o1_r1_400.gif
Not if you paid me.
You made the right choice.
http://67.media.tumblr.com/3149ebf40b3378db902b54b6e5fbaf69/tumblr_o1axqoaVkA1uhyibpo1_540.jpg
I think I would pee myself trying to return a serve from Venus Williams.
Time to watch China get obliterated
Too soon.
http://jb-hdnp.org/Sarver/Maps/WC/wc21_japempirem.jpg
http://i344.photobucket.com/albums/p352/aweshi/movies/mickey-rooney-breakfast-at-tiffanys.jpg
Your user name is so appropriate next to that photo
https://youtu.be/Fj5k6toS7i8?t=1m17s
When you just want to give up on life….
http://a.abcnews.com/images/ABC_Univision/ivanabitch_tobacco_vodka_091713_16x9_992.jpg
The hangover of vodka meets meets the flavor menthol cigarettes…
Holy shit. That’s kinda fucking gross, no?
I cannot imagine choosing to drink this shit.
France is throwing every thing at the US to try and score.
Thank god this is not on network tv because you know…rowing is such a popular sport in the US.
http://www.sportsmafia.info/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Hockey-15.jpg
Women with sticks is also on.
I keep flipping back to that but the green edging of the field makes me want to have a seizure if I try to watch for longer than 30 seconds.
Hey US just won the match against Argentina!
Lotsa strong thighs in the photo.
Approved.
http://sportstravelmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/fieldhockey.jpg
GOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAALLLLL!!!!!
Got to give some love to the Rio crowd…still booing and screaming “Zika” every time Solo touches the ball.
It’s good to see their priorities are in order.
They cheered when Lloyd scored…and immediately booed Solo when she got the ball next. I LOVE THESE FANS!
/totally willing to yell “Zika” every time Solo touches my….errrr, ummm…the ball.
I don’t know why everyone was talking shit (except Balls), Rio seems pretty nice.
Just keep in mind that there are a large number of army units out and about to make sure that there is only one view of Rio being shown.
These games have really…REALLY fucked Brazil.
Hey man, I don’t even go everywhere in my own town.
I’m not about to stop being a yuppie just because I’m in another country.
Canadian women’s rugby team is spanking the Brazilian squad.
/metaphorically, Seamus, metaphorically!
I’ve got a gif for that.
Fine…I’ll do it myself I suppose.
http://31.media.tumblr.com/5d54df7f7ccdf9258b3b71fe600fc438/tumblr_mqrpm6V7JO1sq52fdo1_400.gif
This air soft winner could be hotter.
Goddamn it — Chevy is still doing this ‘real people’ campaign with beard guy?
If you see him show up in a blax post, rest assured that he dies a gruesome death.
Hope Solo with the cankle save!!!
Is it not the Zika save? I believe that’s what they’re calling it
I have access to NBC’s coverage. Good Flucking Lord! Do all you can to find some other feed. It’s all about some sort of triumph-based narrative.
The online streams are on-demand. That’s the way to go.
I’m just not watching out of protest.
Put the fucking USWNT on broadcast you C Words.
Olympic golf should be match play.
Not only that, but you’re there for sixteen days. You can easily do team tournaments as well in stroke. Just use the college five scoring four format or something.
I love how the announcers are trying to create their narrative that team USA are the underdogs because Hope Solo insulted the host nation so every time she touches the ball, they boo.
That every single one of our athletes aren’t booed for the entirety of every event in which they compete shows me that our foreign policies are on fleek.
Never understood why every other sport has every element of the game (outside of uniforms — and even those have restrictions) standardized but cycling is just like, “Yeah, whatever bike you want.”
You hear about the hidden motor controversies? I thought they were pretty hilarious.
http://static.independent.co.uk/s3fs-public/styles/story_medium/public/thumbnails/image/2016/02/01/18/bike-cheat.jpg
I know they caught at least one rider with a motor. I think it was a Belgian.
I think it’s time for Bicycling to get mentioned in the same breath as pro wrestling and rollerjam.
Olympic bicycling crash! WOOOO!!!!!
My youngest (he has a weight problem) just discovered that he likes chicken wings. This will end fatly.
At least with wings there’s a lot of effort involved for just a bit of meat, unless they’re boneless wings, in which case…..yeah, fatness
I buy/prepare fruit trays for him and his older brother (that they both enjoy) in the hope that something kicks in later on.
Most likely, they’ll end up like me. I can eat spinach straight from the bag with the same joy I have eating the vaguely food-shaped salt and grease I get from a Rally’s drive-thru.
Sounds like a plan. Kids have horrible taste in food, I guess you just gotta grow into some dishes.
Kids all the time change their palates. Plus, a lot of kids just have to grow into their body and their metabolism. You just don’t want to pull a Marv Marinovich on your kid…that never turns out well…
http://esq.h-cdn.co/assets/cm/15/05/54cb20c64a917_-_todd-marinovich-mug-shot-0509-lg.jpg
Why haven’t they made NASCAR an Olympic sport?
What the hell? NBC is airing cycling when the USWNT is playing?
Seriously, da fuq?
Its on NBCSN or whatever…but yeah…seriously what the fuck?
So what? They’re gonna put the shit sports on NBC and USWNT/DreamTeamX on cable?
Its NBC…they spend billions of dollars for the rights to butcher the fucking Olympics.
I think the highlight of the opening was their camera people zooming in on the performers so that the special effects (where the buildings appear to grow out of the ground) looked terrible.
I recognize that the Olympics are a massively complex and difficult thing to broadcast…but they struggle with the most simple concepts like mic’ing people up correctly and basic camera work.
Warning to everyone. Samir Ait, a male French gymnast basically snapped his leg trying to land a vault. It…was not…a…pleasant injury.
[is in the middle of doing blow with a 16 year old prostitute]
“Did you hear something? No? Then why are my ears so red?”
-Lawrence Taylor
I better not see this Christine Sinclair bio too often or my blood will boil. Canada was so badly fuck-jobbed by refs in the last Olympics when they played against the U.S.
/I don’t blame outcomes on refs but, fucksticks!, that was a travesty
You know…Bret screwed Bret…
/ducks molson keg thrown at head
Unlike Owen Hart, who was screwed by a faulty harness…
Dear France and Tony Parker in general…way to not fucking show up.
You fuckers need to explain to the ex why the child support payment isn’t coming this month.
The Olympics are on TV and it’s my town’s annual “Fuck It We’re All Going Drinking” Musikfest Festival, ten days of abandon throughout the historic section of Bethlehem that is really… well, it’s fucked. Even the chief of police sends out a social media post that basically says, “We promise to ignore open containers and public drunkenness until someone becomes a SERIOUS asshole about it.”
EVERYONE gets drunk and sunburned and eats terribly for a week, then we pretend it pisses us off until we do it all over again in late September for a “celebration” of Celtic Heritage that revolves around drinking and throwing heavy objects. Every time I think I want to leave this town, they do shit like this.
“Bethlehem is a very under-rated party town-it’s no wonder we were all full.”
-Inn-keepers, asked for comment after a certain someone’s death
Awesome. I have a friend who works for the billboard company in town. I may have him throw this up on the giant TV billboards and see who complains.
Oh shit. They had Ecto Cooler at meijer’s. I picked some up for my kid.
/my kid is with his grandparents
//the ecto cooler will be gone when he gets here
http://67.media.tumblr.com/f6cf88283a307ccff6b911839d2da8d6/tumblr_mr352za7Mv1qgjplzo1_500.jpg
Story of my life.
Lady, what’s your point here?
http://67.media.tumblr.com/c48cca9d766d393d55bf8be64f9620fd/tumblr_n2atci6DZn1r273sho1_1280.png
Isn’t that how small talk works?
I was taken aback at how quickly she was able to read me….. usually the perverted part is not evident at first.
Are we certain about that?
I think it’s a “can’t see the forest for the trees” kinda thing… you’re so shocked he’s that honest about his perversion you don’t notice it’s pervesion at first.
Really? It’s that simple?
/calls last several exes
The women’s soccer team is laying waste to Zimbob…thingy. Everything’s coming up Canada.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/ea367ebd102e6a139ad8365e3ae5387a/tumblr_o3p22c2cDP1uctr63o2_500.gif
Can’t. Look. Away.
So I guess we’ll be hearing some of the world’s most timid national anthem soon?
Sorry, but “true patriot lovin” is something that must be experienced, not listened to.
/not an offer because I’m quite sure you don’t have the requisite coupon
Every member of the Canadian women’s basketball team has scored against the Chinese team.
http://67.media.tumblr.com/3da70cd7081e8e0b45fd266cf1111061/tumblr_o3p22c2cDP1uctr63o3_540.gif
When you say “scored”….?
/asking for a friend
Wow! No kids, wife or dog. The Gods of Not-Sober are smiling on this little bunny rabbit today!
Weekend job: I think at best 13% of employees know the olympics started last night
What is strip club?
Read in the paper that the Olympic swimming events have lifeguards stationed at the pool at all times.
Just in case Phelps cramps up.
I have no idea why this made me laugh so hard. But it did.
Agenda:
Gym
Stores for food and drink
Prepare drinks
Order food
Watch sports
I can work with that.
Agenda:
Bank
Bills
Post Office
Surprise sex when both the kids left the house
Dump
Outdoor BBQ on day with monster humidity
Gym
Beer
Agenda:
Wait for these two
Maybe get to Suicide Squad on time
School clothes?
Wonder if getting high is still a fun activity
Spoiler!
It is still a fun activity.
Agenda:
Throw golf clubs into lake
Drink heavily
Try not to murderize family
My daughter went to see Suicide Squad, (hence the kid free house), and I am eagerly awaiting a report.
Cricky! These Aussie Ladies are brutal and efficient.
So it seems…America is pretty shitty at this women’s rugby shit…
Fuck, I didn’t go international liquor shopping yesterday. You gotta give some notice if there’s gonna be drinking games requiring special supplies!
At least you can still drink to Brazil: just don’t flush the toilet.
I’m going to grab some cachaca today while also making my run to the edgier part of town for my dried chile tepin pods. Then on to my regular store for beer, wine, limes, ice and supplies.
It’s going to get Brazilian as FUCK up in here.
You’re getting a Brazilian?
/wishes he could be there to see that
//retracts the above statement quickly
http://66.media.tumblr.com/5b32bfe7c6cb0f96f882746949282501/tumblr_ob7flxhwNO1qc5dpuo3_500.gif
http://67.media.tumblr.com/57b26935c3a4947568d02cbefcf33554/tumblr_obd5btHYB21rn7bzro1_500.gif
I see no way in which this could end badly.
/dying
I have to go a caterer tasting thing today for our wedding. Any tips? And do these guys usually provide plates & silverware?
Bring your own spit bucket
Get high first. Like really, really high. I’m not even joking. That shit will be pure torture otherwise and you’re likely to say some shit that will get you un-engaged (disengaged?) very quickly.
And they’ll provide anything if you pay them enough.
Really high?
http://67.media.tumblr.com/c2bb8beef0db6675ed2eee4244d88e41/tumblr_ob8we0z4vK1r1wu4ao1_500.gif
Yikes. Good thing I’m not high right now.
“It’s too conventional. Have it shit another leg”
I thought it was a cigarette. And I don’t even smoke.
The place I cater for rents china, silverware & goblets for clients that want it. It’s a smaller place.
Have really strong opinions on everything. And make sure you verbalize them before you know what she thinks. Bitches love to know they are marrying a decisive man.
/do not do this
Try everything, have one of those really spiteful fights over canapés, faint when they tell you the price, come to and shout “Let’s live in sin instead, Baby”, rife instó the su set.
*jodio autocorrect
/always thought Virginia Thrasher was a Norfolk hooker with epilepsy
Winning air rifle in the olympic is all the proof I need that our gun laws are working.
http://67.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8r46ecppF1qd2avdo1_500.jpg
Britney really let herself go again, huh?
I’m low on sleep.
Even lower on BAC%.
One of those two things can be fixed in an hour or so.
I guess what I’m saying is….please bear with me until noon-ish EDT.
(oh…and fuck golf…it’s a stupid game anyway)
/may or may not have sucked at golf this morning
//there’s no proof either way
///torches scorecard
http://67.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8pwyaDIKk1qfjjglo1_500.gif
LMFAO. I love that.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6diq828Ezcs
http://66.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mayvvrAqga1qzpzfmo1_1280.jpg
Virginia Thrasher looks like she could double medal in Air Rifle and SKEET SKEET SKEET, AMIRITE?!
http://66.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m0zwvxI9Sp1qhjbxeo1_400.gif
http://67.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mb2cj6kCdF1qa4v5yo1_500.gif
“WILD MAN MIKE! HE’S THE GREATEST!”
http://67.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9g68n71BY1qa4v5yo1_400.gif
The only downside of drinking tea in the morning is that if you try and “Irish it up,” it tastes like shit.
Absolutely. You should never put a potato in your tea.
That comment is so good it exploded on a London street.
you know who else drinks tea…
http://a.abcnews.com/images/Politics/AP_Obama_India_bc_150125_12x5_1600.jpg
You gotta do brandy in tea, preferably Earl Grey tea.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZuwobLCaoWE
http://67.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mb2jj8w7131qd2avdo1_1280.jpg
You have my attention…..