Your “C’mon, Get Here Already!” Wednesday Open Thread

NFL Missing Person Updates:

  • HURT:
    • Bills rookie linebacker Reggie Ragland – ACL – out for the season
    • Giants WR Victor Cruz – strained calf; won’t play first preseason game
  • CUT:
  • BACK:
    • Seahawks TE Jimmy Graham – first day of practice off the PUP list
    • Patriots tiny person Julian Edelman – tweaked foot feels fine
  • CONTRACT DISPUTE:
    • Chiefs safety Eric Berry – refuses to accept franchise tag of $10.8 million
    • Chargers rookie Joey Bosa
      • Chargers GM Tom Telesco feels Bosa needs to compromise
      • Antonio Gates says Bosa should “be a man” and find a way to get to camp
      • Bosa’s father, John, also was a holdout as an NFL rookie. John Bosa was a defensive lineman drafted No. 16 by the Dolphins in 1987 and held out 41 days before signing his rookie contract, according to ESPN.
  • RELEASED:
    • Tony Siragusa – from FOX NFL broadcasts
      • replaced by Chris Spielman
  • LOOKING FOR WORK:
    • Former Baylor coach Art Briles – visited the Cowboys
      • Jerry Jones vouched for his character, saying “I’d want my grandson, if he had the chance, to play for him.”
        • the question is, would he let his granddaughter attend?

Finally, ESPN stalwart John Saunders passed away at age 61. When I go, I want someone of Hannah Storm’s calibre to make my announcement.

https://youtu.be/PAyMzWfWc54

There’s a much longer tribute involving Stephen A. Smith. You can find that here, and I’m sure tWWL will have others throughout the day. Sad.

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Deadspin watched Hard Knocks, and found the moment when Jeff Fisher cut Nick Foles by telephone.

That’s about right. Welcome to Hollywood, Jeff Fisher. He’s probably getting that call himself in about 2 years.

————————————————————————————————————————————

Some motorhead asked the question, does Brown’s rookie Corey Coleman have the ability to become Steve Smith. I guess so. But until you can do this, you are no Steve Smith.

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The first lawsuit from the cancelled Hall of Fame game is expected Friday. It’s apparently going to be filed by the same lawyer that started a class-action suit over the seats fiasco from Super Bowl XLV. He’s going to be looking for tort claims, because that then could take into account punitive damages.

The story notes that the case about the missing Super Bowl seats is still ongoing, and over $20 million has already been spent by the League in that case.

———————————————————————————————————————————

It finally happens tomorrow night. Real, actual, non-cancelled preseason football.

  • Tampa Bay at Philadelphia – 7:00 pm
  • Washington at Atlanta – 7:00 pm
  • Carolina at Baltimore – 7:30 pm
  • New Orleans at New England – 7:30 pm – on NFL Network
  • Jacksonville at N.Y. Jets – 7:30 pm
  • Denver at Chicago – 8:00 pm

Make sure to talk about your game in the comments while we all bitch about the Jimmy Garoppolo era being the first thing on the NFL Network. WHY NOT SANCHEZ V CUTLER?!

——————————————————————————————————————————–

Tonight’s sports:

  • non-Olympic:
    • MLB: Yankees @ Red Sox – 7:00 (ESPN)
    • U.S. Open Cup Soccer: Los Angeles vs. FC Dallas – 10:00 (ESPN2)
  • Olympic:
    • Men’s basketball: U.S. vs. Australia – 6:00 (NBCSN)
    • NBC primetime – 8:00
      • more Phelps & Ledecky action
      • Women’s beach volleyball
    • Men’s soccer: Denmark vs. Brazil – 9:00 (NBCSN)
      • if you want to see a country burn, root for Denmark

All Canada’s medals so far have been won by women. I can’t wait to read MRA twitter if it stays that way. WHY SO BUTTHURT?

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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theeWeeBabySeamus

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You are awfully dark minded this evening.

/looks at own posts

Oh, about that, never mind.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I am not at liberty to say too much….but I’d commit murder right now under the correct circumstances.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Humans; just about anyone would, under the right circumstances. Many don’t even need that much convincing…. or even expect to get reimbursed for expenses.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Totally not joking, FWIW.
And this is not a theoretical or rhetorical. I’m fighting hard the urge to hurt someone right now.
Like I said, I can’t say much….but if I did, I promise all of you good people would follow me in without fail.
In Truth, you fine imaginary people are the only folks preventing it right now.
http://cdn.iwastesomuchtime.com/712201621445510183.gif

theeWeeBabySeamus

Somewhere, Sill’s head just went all ‘splodey and shit.

Mr. Ayo

“Rotund”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

*Normal woman

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh fuck me. This can’t be real.
LMFAO

WCS

theeWeeBabySeamus

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Jesus Fuck…why am I awake.
/so goddamned tired

theeWeeBabySeamus

Can’t. Look. Away.

Mr. Ayo

By my calculations, this means we no longer need women.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

…or visa versa………

WCS

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey look Ellen. The Kitner boy just got ett the fuck up.
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theeWeeBabySeamus

/prefers left swipe

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

[Generalization on a culture, population, lose adherents to an amorphous philosophy based entirely on anecdotal experiences viewed through an overwhelmingly ignorant perspective.]

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“OH! I hear ya, you gots that righ, but [Generalization on a different culture, population, lose adherents to an amorphous philosophy based entirely on anecdotal experiences viewed through an overwhelmingly ignorant perspective.] is WAAAAAY worse!!

WCS

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

Damn you, pixelation.

laserguru

Looks like I’ve got some free VIP tickets for Brian Ferry at LA Live tomorrow.

Guess I’ll see you good folks on Friday!

theeWeeBabySeamus

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WCS

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fucking helicopters, man.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
WCS

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

Senor Weaselo

Good evening all. Anything good happen while I was gone?

Unsurprised

ICRM did some good ranting.

theeWeeBabySeamus

It made me feel better.

Sill Bimmons
Duchess

This is just dumb its like the rest of this country can’t see the tax revenue Colorado is making?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

PANTS STILL INTACT!!

WHAT? DOESN’T YOUR FUCKING DICK GET MAD TOO???????

http://66.media.tumblr.com/143f98c07f30f92a2e6cb75bb3ac8d8a/tumblr_obe5arb2eF1s2wio8o1_500.gif

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

That is so wrong.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Sharkbait

Kind of fits with the official “Fuck Pants” mantra of this site.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
WCS

yeah right, now in action figure form!

Porky Prime

“Steve, this is a critical mission. You will need an exploding leg!”

Duchess

Her thighs would kill a man like her name was Xenia Onatopp

Unsurprised

Worth it.

The Maestro

Ok, question for folks: are weekday weddings weird, in your opinion? I’m headed to some good friends who are getting married at home tomorrow – big backyard, lots of green space, casual clothing, homemade craft beer and pulled pork – I think it’s gonna be a fun time, but does it seem unusual for it to be happening at like 4:00 on a Thursday afternoon?? There’s no holidays coming up this weekend either, so it’s not as though it’s coming at the beginning of a long weekend for most folks.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Weird? Yeah, a bit.

Sharkbait

A little odd, unless its financial. Mine was going to be on the Sunday before Columbus day until we ran the numbers and pushing it back a week saved us some money. Also worked out that not everyone gets that holiday off.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I went to a Monday wedding. Regardless, it’s selfish to expect people to travel and take off work for your weekday wedding, but everything about weddings are selfish so fuck it.

Duchess

I think it’s pretty nice of them… Why waste someone’s long weekend with a boring party?

Sill Bimmons

“…homemade craft beer…”

So they’ve got it figured that the beer will be gone by 4:15.

This ensures that between people who pre-partied and people who brought their own everyone will be gone by 10:00 at the latest.

Clever.

The Maestro

I did think about that, but fortunately they’ve apparently got around about 150 litres of beer apparently good to go for tomorrow, which for a wedding with ~70 people attending is not gonna be too shabby, all in all.

Sill Bimmons

That’s 3 kegs for 70 people.

Canadaite people.

Make it 4:08.

Porky Prime

My first assumption would be that the date has meaning?

But it is a little weird, unless theyre on a budget and something in the planning is cheaper during the week. I once went to a Thursday night wedding held on that day because the hall and amenities were 40% cheaper than the weekend prices.

Duchess

Isnt it a song… 817-201-6400

Duchess

My shoulders hurt just watching the gymnasts on the parallel bars

Sill Bimmons

I’m seeing your Edit button, which is funny because it’s the only one I’ve ever seen.

Sill Bimmons

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Porky Prime

Edit llor.

Unsurprised

Well, fuck.

Penance:
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Nekkid Gymnastics should so totally be a thing.

Duchess

There’s a Brazzers for that.

Sharkbait

Well done.

Porky Prime
ballsofsteelandfury

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Beastmode Ate My Baby

You’re the one, Wyatt.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Alright, I’m almost out of scotch and my Olympic betting pool isn’t going great. Time to try harder at being a degenerate tomorrow. Night, all.

ballsofsteelandfury

It looks like this thread could use some light entertainment:

http://www.thenug.com/sites/default/pub/091114/thenug-vZi32Pv5O7.gif

Porky Prime

They looks heavy to me.

theeWeeBabySeamus

/likes the momentum and elasticity
//woo!!!! Boob physics

Sill Bimmons

///wave mechanics

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So I just saw a commercial where the TSA guy says “you gonna have to ride the belt” and I was like, huh, good to see Junior Galette landed on his feet.

Cuntler

I wish all of you the best in all your endeavors. The world isn’t as bad as you think it is.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Unless the Germans are the ones attempting to restrict your speech. In which case…you know.

Porky Prime
blaxabbath

I love it even more than I love my seven wives — that’s right, I’m a polygamist. [The court “boos”.]

Sill Bimmons

Evelyn Beatrice Hall (28 September 1868 – 13 April 1956), who wrote under the pseudonym S. G. Tallentyre, was an English writer best known for her biography of Voltaire entitled The Life of Voltaire, first published in 1903. She also wrote The Friends of Voltaire, which she completed in 1906.

In The Friends of Voltaire, Hall wrote the phrase: “I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it” (which is often misattributed to Voltaire himself) as an illustration of Voltaire’s beliefs. Hall’s quotation is often cited to describe the principle of freedom of speech.

Duchess

Then Dean Martin made a lot of money singing about him.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Agreed.
It’s way fucking worse.
/sadly, not joking

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

But the worst things are not the ones being bitched about.

Duchess

Video of Michael Phelps father at work

blaxabbath

Nice use of the image auto-zoom in feature tonight. I was wondering when they would look good (outside the homepage).

Duchess

Not to take anything away from Phelps but Swimming is like 1/5 of ll the Olympic games. So if you’re a dominate person you will rack up the medals. Its like if Basket Ball was broken down into 3 point challenge, team, 3 on 3, 1 on 1 half court and dunk contest would have made Jordan the greatest Olympian ever.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

QUIT HATING ON SWIMMING AND ENJOY THE MOMENT.

None of you fuckers complained about Michael Johnson racking up medals in multiple events in 1996.

blaxabbath

Getting from the 200m to the 400m is pretty impressive. But, yeah, the 100m and 200m are the same thing.

It’s kind of like watching the Combine. Hey! How about Olympic hand measuring!?

JustStopDude

WHY ARE THERE SO MANY FUCKING SWIMMING EVENTS?!?

Its moronic.

Porky Prime

People watch them. Considering how rabid middle America is about guns, I’m surprised they dont televise more shooting events.

Kungjitsu

Medal padding.

theeWeeBabySeamus

White people feel safer in the water. 😉
http://www.terrificator.com/pages/gallery/horror-movies/jaws/jaws.gif