Your Sunday Night NFL Football “Piece Of Resistance” Open Thread

Don’t know why I bother to teach French to you guys but, oh well.

Pats/Cards-Both Brady and Gronk are out of this one so we’ll only hear about them 40% of the time. Yay! Cards hc Arians is 11-2 against the AFC. If the Pats win the division championship, guess who I’m cheering for? (perhaps I’m getting a wee bit ahead of myself) Arizona’s O looks like world-beaters. Rb’s Johnson and Johnson are above average and so is the wr trio of Fitz, Brown and Floyd. The D is solid and cb Peterson can take out your #1 receiver. The Pats start the season 0-1? Let the showerfreud* begin!

*some German word I may have misspelled

 

 

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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Man I wish this place were called Pink Taco stadium, like it almost was.

John Difool

If Matt Patricia decides to change genders at least he won’t have to change his name.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I’m fairly certain it’s the reason he grew his beard.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is this game going to be a race to 50 points?

Old School Zero

After watching Seattle/Miami, I SURE FUCKING HOPE SO.

JustStopDude

$35,000,000,000

That is the total debt load of University of Phoenix students.

So yeah…that’s how they can afford 20 years of naming rights. I cannot wait for the federal government to finally get around and ITT these fuckers.

theeWeeBabySeamus

This.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh goddammit….moar co-opting Boston’s music.
Tom Scholtz…it’s time to sue again!!!!!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

God I hate the Patriots. They could be playing against a team of child molesters and I’d still root against them.

LemonJello

The Rhythmic Slapping Sanduskys?

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

They let Penn State into the NFL?

Doktor Zymm

A Patriots/Cowboys super bowl would probably be the only thing that could get me to quit watching footbal

JustStopDude

I would still watch just because JJ is cartoon evil and hilarious.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Wasn’t he in Rollerball?

LemonJello

I’d watch hoping for either a Black Sunday-type event or for the meteor to finally end it all.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I’d rather have Mohammed Atta sing the National Anthem than this, holy shit.

Old School Zero

Hogan scores big!

/Gawker is re-bankrupted

Beastmode Ate My Baby

WACHOO GONNA DOOOOOO??!!??

ThePirateSloth

I’m gonna shoop. Shoop be doop.

Croooow

I assume Boston sports talk now wants Brady traded?

herodotus450

Garropolo went to Eastern Illinois? Have we ever seen him and Romo in the same room together?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

They are keynote speakers at the “Excessive O’s in My LAst Name” conventions.

Doktor Zymm

If they run low on commentary they can just go through the phone book and name all the people who are not playing QB for the Patriots tonight

ThePirateSloth

That only applies for Browns QBs.

And Denver RBs.

John Difool

Y.A. Tittle

Sill Bimmons

AWKWARD VIDEO THINGY

Beastmode Ate My Baby

You’re just catching up with the Tommy Lee/Pam Anderson tape now?

ThePirateSloth

I’m doing shots of rum every time Brady is named during this game. I’m already half a bottle down.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

STOP! YER KILLIN YERSELF!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yargh

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

That’s like being a gynecologist and drinking a shot of arsenic every time you see a vagina.

herodotus450
John Difool

Chris Collinsworth already doing his best to put an asterisk on this game early in the 1st.

Thought he’d at least wait until late in the 3rd.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

“Crap, I forgot we’d have Collinsworth tonight.”

-My wife

She’s a keeper!

theeWeeBabySeamus

WHAT HAVE I BEEN SAYING????????????

I Will Dye Blonde

Does that mean you forgive me?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Forgive you? For what?
You just leave that loser and come see me. We’ll talk.
😉

Covalent Blonde

It’s important to establish yourself as the DFO pervert first-thing every season

theeWeeBabySeamus

Be very careful with the next words that exit your mouth.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Loser??? Why, I…

Oh, wait. No, that’s pretty accurate. We’re good.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m just teasing ya. She’s not foolish enough to leave a good dude like yourself.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

She only stays with me because that way she’s the first to read HRTN every week.

I Will Dye Blonde

There are benefits to awesome to give up.

ThePirateSloth

BRADY NARRATIVE BRADY NARRATIVE BRADY NARRATIVE BRADY NARRATIVE BRADY NARRATIVE BRADY NARRATIVE BRADY NARRATIVE BRADY NARRATIVE BRADY NARRATIVE BRADY NARRATIVE BRADY NARRATIVE BRADY NARRATIVEBRADY NARRATIVE BRADY NARRATIVE BRADY NARRATIVE BRADY NARRATIVE BRADY NARRATIVE BRADY NARRATIVE BRADY NARRATIVE BRADY NARRATIVE

Covalent Blonde

Before I die, I want to hear someone say that to me at least once.

theeWeeBabySeamus

People in hell want ice water.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Well there you are! I expect you to be in mid-season form by tomorrow night, for the SF/LA crapfest.

Covalent Blonde

Sorry. I was busy feeling unclean about having to root for Miami.

ThePirateSloth

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Beastmode Ate My Baby

How could you? I just… I…

I’m sorry. I need a moment to myself right now.

Covalent Blonde

You need a moment? I was the one who had to be whisper, “Go, Tannehill” under my breath so I couldn’t hear myself

Senor Weaselo

Blondie McArmpump or the propaganda?

Covalent Blonde

Both! Obvio!

Senor Weaselo

I could make a Blondie McArmpump joke, but I do like living, so I won’t.

John Difool

Even John McCain was like wtf at that anthem and he’s practically a corpse…. just like the lady singing it.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-H1HuaYl96Ro/T9PTCP8QuGI/AAAAAAAAOm0/1YFzyjNBOrs/s1600/Donatella+Versace-+October+2003.jpg

theeWeeBabySeamus

yikes. I just shat meself looking at this.

I Will Dye Blonde

Youhave to warn us before you post Tammi Faye…

theeWeeBabySeamus

Now what fun would that be?

Old School Zero

Now THAT was an anthem worth protesting.

Moonbatting Average

I’d sit for this Anthem

theeWeeBabySeamus

Why am I looking at sweaty men when Kristin Chenowith is in the building? FFS!!!!!!!

Old School Zero

Whatever became of that NYC mayor that was so popular back then?

Col. Duke LaCross

He looked at the ark.

Col. Duke LaCross

I think she may have had some work done.

theeWeeBabySeamus

At least.

Shogun Marcus

All?

Senor Weaselo

I don’t dig this Siciliana style of the anthem.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Remember that time I turned a classroom full of children into human shields and told everybody I didn’t move cause I didn’t want to upset them?”

– George W. Bush

ThePirateSloth

Fuck. You. G. W.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Thanks Obama.

Sill Bimmons
theeWeeBabySeamus

Inorite?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Shit, I completely forgot about Al and Cris.
Dammit.

Doktor Zymm

In a cab, not too much traffic, should make it home soon and will only miss two minutes of football and twenty minutes of commercials. I should probably order pizza from the cab cause I gots no food at home.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Don’t do it! Cab pizza is terrible!

Sill Bimmons

I’ve never had it…

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Just eat the soul of the cabbie. Mmmmm….that’s some good eatin’ right there.

John Difool

Death Pizza Cab For Cutie

Covalent Blonde

If I find out any of you assholes were in the focus groups for NBC that said, “We need more Underwood to slow shit down” I will die just so I can haunt you until the end of your days.

Shogun Marcus

“Aw, das ist cute.”
~rammstein watching cardinals pyro

John Difool

Carrie Underwood….. I’ll be in my bunk.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Someday artificial intelligence will have evolved to the point where I can tell my DVR “if you hear someone say ‘Skip’ automatically fast forward by three minutes”.

ThePirateSloth

Why? Why is Rodney Harrison a TV personality? Is there no one else, in ALL of the NFL and retired NFL persons, that is more intelligent? If that answer is no, then why the fuck are we even bothering watching pregame shows anymore?

Doktor Zymm

You shouldn’t be allowed to have a carry on unless you can demonstrate the ability to lift it above your head and stow/unstow the damn thing in under twenty seconds. Preferably under ten.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

You’re infringing on my rights to take bodies along as carry-ons.

Bloody Lethal

I can’t describe the irrational anger I have to stifle whenever my plane lands and I haven’t moved after the first 30 seconds.

Gratliff
Beastmode Ate My Baby

NO SPOILERS

We’ll probably catch it later.

ThePirateSloth

If you mean crabs, I’m gonna pass on that.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

I will send you back to the Swabby Sloop.

ThePirateSloth

Where do you think I got that scurvy!

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Fruit is for wimps in Trump’s America!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“When you go out, and you give your rookie quarterback a chance to play against the Browns, you give him a chance to win.”

John Difool

Tony Dungy is looking tanned, ready and rested.

http://iwatchstuff.com/2015/07/29/nosferatu-ut-ohrlock.jpg

JustStopDude

Tim Meadows….is making me a sad person…

ThePirateSloth

Is he out of Courvoisier ?

Sill Bimmons

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jjfozz

Ha ha! Fucked still alive! Bourrrrblee

Sill Bimmons

Still waiting on the first trade request for Catler…

http://i.makeagif.com/media/4-02-2015/dPRLeI.gif

Doktor Zymm

‘Sometimes soap on a rope is just soap on a rope’

-shower Freud

theeWeeBabySeamus

Damn you, Sir.
That is all.

Sill Bimmons

If I put this cigar in the box is it still alive?

–Schroedinger

theeWeeBabySeamus

Wait…whut?

Spanky Datass

“If I light my farts will they still smell?”
–Frat-Bro shower musings.

WCS

So… Year of the Safety Part Two?

Doktor Zymm

I sure hope so! But I think it’s actually the year of the orthopaedic surgeon

Moonbatting Average

That’s every year, Dok

Sill Bimmons
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Just woke up from a nap. This game is going to make me regret that decision.

John Difool

” ‘Showerfreud’, really? STOP MAKING FUN OF ME !”

-Jerry Sandusky

Horatio Cornblower

“Want to hear what Skip has to say?”

No. No I do not.

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