Don’t know why I bother to teach French to you guys but, oh well.
Pats/Cards-Both Brady and Gronk are out of this one so we’ll only hear about them 40% of the time. Yay! Cards hc Arians is 11-2 against the AFC. If the Pats win the division championship, guess who I’m cheering for? (perhaps I’m getting a wee bit ahead of myself) Arizona’s O looks like world-beaters. Rb’s Johnson and Johnson are above average and so is the wr trio of Fitz, Brown and Floyd. The D is solid and cb Peterson can take out your #1 receiver. The Pats start the season 0-1? Let the showerfreud* begin!
*some German word I may have misspelled
Man I wish this place were called Pink Taco stadium, like it almost was.
If Matt Patricia decides to change genders at least he won’t have to change his name.
I’m fairly certain it’s the reason he grew his beard.
http://www.nbc.com/sites/nbcunbc/files/files/images/2015/5/02/140208_2723824_Pat_at_the_Office_anvver_2.jpg
It’s Pat Matricia
Is this game going to be a race to 50 points?
After watching Seattle/Miami, I SURE FUCKING HOPE SO.
$35,000,000,000
That is the total debt load of University of Phoenix students.
So yeah…that’s how they can afford 20 years of naming rights. I cannot wait for the federal government to finally get around and ITT these fuckers.
This.
Oh goddammit….moar co-opting Boston’s music.
Tom Scholtz…it’s time to sue again!!!!!!
God I hate the Patriots. They could be playing against a team of child molesters and I’d still root against them.
The Rhythmic Slapping Sanduskys?
They let Penn State into the NFL?
A Patriots/Cowboys super bowl would probably be the only thing that could get me to quit watching footbal
I would still watch just because JJ is cartoon evil and hilarious.
Wasn’t he in Rollerball?
I’d watch hoping for either a Black Sunday-type event or for the meteor to finally end it all.
I’d rather have Mohammed Atta sing the National Anthem than this, holy shit.
Hogan scores big!
/Gawker is re-bankrupted
WACHOO GONNA DOOOOOO??!!??
I’m gonna shoop. Shoop be doop.
I assume Boston sports talk now wants Brady traded?
Garropolo went to Eastern Illinois? Have we ever seen him and Romo in the same room together?
They are keynote speakers at the “Excessive O’s in My LAst Name” conventions.
If they run low on commentary they can just go through the phone book and name all the people who are not playing QB for the Patriots tonight
That only applies for Browns QBs.
And Denver RBs.
Y.A. Tittle
AWKWARD VIDEO THINGY
You’re just catching up with the Tommy Lee/Pam Anderson tape now?
I’m doing shots of rum every time Brady is named during this game. I’m already half a bottle down.
STOP! YER KILLIN YERSELF!
Yargh
That’s like being a gynecologist and drinking a shot of arsenic every time you see a vagina.
http://i.imgur.com/zbYDm.jpg
Chris Collinsworth already doing his best to put an asterisk on this game early in the 1st.
Thought he’d at least wait until late in the 3rd.
“Crap, I forgot we’d have Collinsworth tonight.”
-My wife
She’s a keeper!
WHAT HAVE I BEEN SAYING????????????
Does that mean you forgive me?
Forgive you? For what?
You just leave that loser and come see me. We’ll talk.
😉
It’s important to establish yourself as the DFO pervert first-thing every season
Be very careful with the next words that exit your mouth.
Loser??? Why, I…
Oh, wait. No, that’s pretty accurate. We’re good.
I’m just teasing ya. She’s not foolish enough to leave a good dude like yourself.
She only stays with me because that way she’s the first to read HRTN every week.
There are benefits to awesome to give up.
BRADY NARRATIVE BRADY NARRATIVE BRADY NARRATIVE BRADY NARRATIVE BRADY NARRATIVE BRADY NARRATIVE BRADY NARRATIVE BRADY NARRATIVE BRADY NARRATIVE BRADY NARRATIVE BRADY NARRATIVE BRADY NARRATIVEBRADY NARRATIVE BRADY NARRATIVE BRADY NARRATIVE BRADY NARRATIVE BRADY NARRATIVE BRADY NARRATIVE BRADY NARRATIVE BRADY NARRATIVE
Blondie McArmpump really nailed that propaganda.
Before I die, I want to hear someone say that to me at least once.
People in hell want ice water.
Well there you are! I expect you to be in mid-season form by tomorrow night, for the SF/LA crapfest.
Sorry. I was busy feeling unclean about having to root for Miami.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
How could you? I just… I…
I’m sorry. I need a moment to myself right now.
You need a moment? I was the one who had to be whisper, “Go, Tannehill” under my breath so I couldn’t hear myself
Blondie McArmpump or the propaganda?
Both! Obvio!
I could make a Blondie McArmpump joke, but I do like living, so I won’t.
Even John McCain was like wtf at that anthem and he’s practically a corpse…. just like the lady singing it.
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-H1HuaYl96Ro/T9PTCP8QuGI/AAAAAAAAOm0/1YFzyjNBOrs/s1600/Donatella+Versace-+October+2003.jpg
yikes. I just shat meself looking at this.
http://i644.photobucket.com/albums/uu169/runecire/tammy_faye_bakker11.jpg
Youhave to warn us before you post Tammi Faye…
Now what fun would that be?
Now THAT was an anthem worth protesting.
I’d sit for this Anthem
Why am I looking at sweaty men when Kristin Chenowith is in the building? FFS!!!!!!!
Whatever became of that NYC mayor that was so popular back then?
He looked at the ark.
I think she may have had some work done.
At least.
All?
I don’t dig this Siciliana style of the anthem.
“Remember that time I turned a classroom full of children into human shields and told everybody I didn’t move cause I didn’t want to upset them?”
– George W. Bush
http://impiousdigest.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/bush_911-800×430.jpg
Fuck. You. G. W.
George W. makes me feel safe…
Thanks Obama.
I switched over too soon…
http://sanbornagency.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/triplestamp.gif
Inorite?
Shit, I completely forgot about Al and Cris.
Dammit.
In a cab, not too much traffic, should make it home soon and will only miss two minutes of football and twenty minutes of commercials. I should probably order pizza from the cab cause I gots no food at home.
Don’t do it! Cab pizza is terrible!
I’ve never had it…
Just eat the soul of the cabbie. Mmmmm….that’s some good eatin’ right there.
Death Pizza Cab For Cutie
If I find out any of you assholes were in the focus groups for NBC that said, “We need more Underwood to slow shit down” I will die just so I can haunt you until the end of your days.
“Aw, das ist cute.”
~rammstein watching cardinals pyro
Carrie Underwood….. I’ll be in my bunk.
I thought that was Faith Hill-I guess they’re interchangeable.
Someday artificial intelligence will have evolved to the point where I can tell my DVR “if you hear someone say ‘Skip’ automatically fast forward by three minutes”.
Why? Why is Rodney Harrison a TV personality? Is there no one else, in ALL of the NFL and retired NFL persons, that is more intelligent? If that answer is no, then why the fuck are we even bothering watching pregame shows anymore?
You shouldn’t be allowed to have a carry on unless you can demonstrate the ability to lift it above your head and stow/unstow the damn thing in under twenty seconds. Preferably under ten.
You’re infringing on my rights to take bodies along as carry-ons.
What are you? A comedian?
http://0.media.dorkly.cvcdn.com/51/20/52a65778a4f805662c0837fa238e45b4.gif
I can’t describe the irrational anger I have to stifle whenever my plane lands and I haven’t moved after the first 30 seconds.
Mandatory WWE PPV wrestling gif:
http://giant.gfycat.com/GrizzledImaginaryCaterpillar.gif
NO SPOILERS
We’ll probably catch it later.
If you mean crabs, I’m gonna pass on that.
I will send you back to the Swabby Sloop.
Where do you think I got that scurvy!
Fruit is for wimps in Trump’s America!
“When you go out, and you give your rookie quarterback a chance to play against the Browns, you give him a chance to win.”
Tony Dungy is looking tanned, ready and rested.
http://iwatchstuff.com/2015/07/29/nosferatu-ut-ohrlock.jpg
Tim Meadows….is making me a sad person…
http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/89/89bd5ced525224c71a1148dc4667316018a81cea4695ad968d6f2864abedfe27.jpg
http://cdn.quotesgram.com/small/32/37/1175389824-103e78ea3113af5358aa22f3625b55f8.jpg
Is he out of Courvoisier ?
Ha ha! Fucked still alive! Bourrrrblee
http://thepeoplescube.com/red/gallery/lumberjack-a62/1janeane-i2429.jpg
Still waiting on the first trade request for Catler…
http://i.makeagif.com/media/4-02-2015/dPRLeI.gif
‘Sometimes soap on a rope is just soap on a rope’
-shower Freud
“Sometimes a picture of a cigar is not a cigar.”
-Foucault
Damn you, Sir.
That is all.
If I put this cigar in the box is it still alive?
–Schroedinger
Wait…whut?
“If I light my farts will they still smell?”
–Frat-Bro shower musings.
So… Year of the Safety Part Two?
I sure hope so! But I think it’s actually the year of the orthopaedic surgeon
That’s every year, Dok
http://i.makeagif.com/media/9-28-2015/DMm_GX.gif
Just woke up from a nap. This game is going to make me regret that decision.
” ‘Showerfreud’, really? STOP MAKING FUN OF ME !”
-Jerry Sandusky
“Want to hear what Skip has to say?”
No. No I do not.
http://www.newryspud.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/face-plunger.jpg