Your Sunday Night NFL Football “Piece Of Resistance” Open Thread

Don’t know why I bother to teach French to you guys but, oh well.

Pats/Cards-Both Brady and Gronk are out of this one so we’ll only hear about them 40% of the time. Yay! Cards hc Arians is 11-2 against the AFC. If the Pats win the division championship, guess who I’m cheering for? (perhaps I’m getting a wee bit ahead of myself) Arizona’s O looks like world-beaters. Rb’s Johnson and Johnson are above average and so is the wr trio of Fitz, Brown and Floyd. The D is solid and cb Peterson can take out your #1 receiver. The Pats start the season 0-1? Let the showerfreud* begin!

*some German word I may have misspelled

 

 

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King Hippo

David Johnson is good at teh footy. Get him the ball and quit over-complicating simple effectiveness.

Mr. Ayo

Oh my! Javid Dohnson!

Doktor Zymm

Is celebrity endorsement still an effective means of advertisement? Do you think anyone has actually allowed their choice of insurance to be influenced by Peyton Manning?

Beastmode Ate My Baby

/puts down phone

No…?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Chicken parm it tastes so good.

GODDAMMIT!!!!!!!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I think you underestimate the percentage of gravy in the brains of Indianans and Tennesseans

Bloody Lethal
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Rohypnol wasn’t too pleased with Mr. Sharper’s endorsement.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Peyton Manning: please die in a fire. Kthxbai

Sharkbait

♫Please die in a fire now♫

Sharkbait

Sean Payton looked a little rape-y in that NFL ticket ad no?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

And just in general

King Hippo

wait, he will rape you if you DO buy tix or if you DON’T?

LemonJello

Yes.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

He learned from the best.

Trevor Semen

You’re only the best if you don’t get caught

I Will Dye Blonde

That’s what Bill said.

Covalent Blonde

Right? How was he not immediately pepper sprayed?

Bloody Lethal

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Dick E. Phuck

The Accountant

Those trial balance accounts will be recognized on October 14.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Bloody Lethal

I find her generally off-putting in all but one way. Guess which one.

theeWeeBabySeamus

From behind….i hope.

Senor Weaselo

Hail Bleergh?

King Hippo

Our Lord and Saviour always knows best

Trevor Semen

Shut the fuck up Collinsworth

Sharkbait

Damnit

Sharkbait

PI!

jjfozz

my best friend is having a hard time and i hav eknown the guy since we wer 15. love the dude. wish i coud do more than just listen. maybe thats the best thing righ tnow

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Hey, listening is being a great friend. If he needs advice, you’re always there for that, too.

theeWeeBabySeamus

What he said.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Whatever you do, don’t drive over to his place.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Stop being a dick.
Oh sorry…look who I’m talking to.

Unsurprised

No. Just no.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Frostee Rucker leaves the field as Wendy’s has its 50 cent Frosty campaign? I think I know where to find that tubby fuck.

herodotus450
Trevor Semen

Christian Gray’s ropes

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Could be Herrera Issey Versace

Trevor Semen

Also, what’s her name? just curious, is all

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Trevor Semen

What’s so mature about a name?

LemonJello

That’s where grandma’s decorative curtain ties went!

Doktor Zymm

I accidentally watched most of this on the flight to Japan. It was good. If you’re okay with subtitles, check it out. It’s based off of a book, which I plan on reading soon.
http://www.japantimes.co.jp/culture/2016/05/04/films/six-four-japan-held-hostage-showa-era/

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

“Is it ‘Facts of Life’ hentai? If so, I would love catch lunch and chat all about it.”

– Trevor Siemian

Spur

My comments were removed!!!!!!! what is this Uproxxxxxxxxx? ‘m not up for for this!

Old School Zero

Oh, THAT’S roughing the passer? Huh. Interesting.

LemonJello

“Yeah, no shit, huh?”

-Cam Newton

LemonJello

Roughing the passer? Do the refs think Brady is playing?

jjfozz

fcuking bullshit call

Trevor Semen

Welp, take a shot, they called a white guy tough

Beastmode Ate My Baby

I thought Fozz’s kids were older.

Unsurprised

DFO: The Next Generation

Trevor Semen

Fucking asshole

jjfozz

things i want to see hit edelman:
– a linebackr
– a meteor
– an atomic shell shot from a tank
– a freigth train

Dick E. Phuck

Mentioning Jews and Trains in the same breath may be problematic.

Unsurprised

I have a final solution for that

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Hope the cost isn’t more than Arians salary of six million.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Now add Brock Lesnar.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Knowing Mr. Edelman’s lineage, I’d be weary of anything Arians send after him.

Unsurprised

Now I need to quickly make up a lie about why I was laughing so hard

Covalent Blonde
Beastmode Ate My Baby

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Toonces fell hard when his AA sponsor went missing

Unsurprised

His sponsor was the Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer, so … 🙁

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Of course Tom Brady is a thirteen year old girl when it comes to facetime

Trevor Semen

They’re talking about how Jones used to be a Patriot like they talk about how tight ends used to play basketball

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

“God rest her soul, but it’s like when Alexis Arquette was Robert, y’know?”

Dick E. Phuck

You are an incredible performer…….Riley Reid.

Sharkbait

Now there’s some clock mismanagement I’d like to be a part of.

theeWeeBabySeamus

No idea who that is…wink wink, nudge nudge.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Finally in JJFozz, we found the one thing more fucked up in Baltimore than the public schools.

jjfozz

Ice t, no longer scary to white people

Sharkbait

Eh, I’m over it.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I will kill all of you.
Not really….just gonna hunt CB down.

jjfozz

Jamiei Foxx – just cashing in, fuck it

Mr. Ayo

You mean Famie Joxx?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

After Ray, he couldn’t see any other way.

Croooow

These GE commercials are the worst.

Spur
Spur
jjfozz

So, you can save mankind from laiens, aliens, OR kick Bellichekc in teh balls. What do you choose?

Mr. Ayo

Sex with Kristen Bell

John Difool

Belichick in the balls but I’m disappointed jabbing him to death with that pencil he keeps behind his ear repeatedly in both eyeballs wasn’t an option.

Doktor Zymm

Can I have the aliens kick Belichick in the balls? I would watch that.

The Maestro

parson calmer is one priestly motherfucker

makeitsnowondem

make it snow: fuck tom brady
lady snow: yeah, fuck him in the buttchin

Doktor Zymm

I have no idea when I started drinking. When was angry wine in this time zone? Though there were long gaps of not drinking involved. I’m pretty sure it’s lunch tomorrow right now. I kinda like jetlag. It lends some welcome surrealism and novelty to everyday life.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Try not sleeping for several months.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Spur

I sell cocaine and cocaine accessories.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Way too close to home there, but I appreciate the reference.

jjfozz

No, you are good. cause i have been drunk, sober, rallied, and back to drunk again. so ahoy matey!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I think you had an hour to drink at the airport during the early games if you are seriously asking

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Fitz will never not be good at football.

Well, until he isn’t. But even then he will be.

Doktor Zymm

He’ll be 80 and in a nursing home and still better at football than most. Sadly, his skills will only be used for not dropping his meds.

Unsurprised

I want sugar but I have no cash and I don’t think the mini mart next to my job takes Apple Pay. Bwa bwa

jjfozz

I want to be on of larry fitgeralx’s dreads

Spur

Fuck T Williams! Run out of bounds you dumb fuck!

Sharkbait

Unexpected family drop in is over. HOW THE FUCK YA DOIN?

Doktor Zymm
Moonbatting Average

Woah. Al just called the Refs “zebras”. Has he done that before?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

It’s his personal protest against Black Lives Matter

The Maestro

farry litzgerald

jjfozz

My first beer got cracked at 915. And I’m kinda fucked up it. shitty ravens game. jesus can i get more ored? i will be there till i pass out.

how you fucking gusy woding? Doing?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

My first crack got beered at 9:15 am

Trevor Semen

What

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Shh. Don’t piss off Fozz. And if he looks at you, just avert your gaze.

herodotus450

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Spur

Beady eyes and Dax spunk….gross

theeWeeBabySeamus

You may die tonight. Where do you live?
hint: don’t answer that.

herodotus450

I guess you just don’t support the troops. What are you, a commie?

theeWeeBabySeamus
Covalent Blonde

Here is the worst part: because of the ginormous pool of blood in my eye, people think I look cross-eyed from a distance, leading one of my friends to send me the Kristen Bell-thing saying how similar we looked.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m not going anywhere near that one.
I may be dumb, but occasionally even I get a clue.

Lotsa luck with your…ummm…ocular dysfunction.

Spur

Double Post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Worship me!

theeWeeBabySeamus

da fuq….spur and Mr ayo became the same person so gradually….
Shut up…it was funny in my head.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

WTF? Are we intersecting with the Darkest Timeline?

Unsurprised

This * IS * the darkest timeline

Mr. Ayo

Woah!
/drops spoon
//there is no spoon

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Collinsworth sounds like teenage me when I would deepen my voice, thinking it would impress girls.

And just like teenage me, it wouldn’t work and I’d just blow an old guy named Al.