Don’t know why I bother to teach French to you guys but, oh well.
Pats/Cards-Both Brady and Gronk are out of this one so we’ll only hear about them 40% of the time. Yay! Cards hc Arians is 11-2 against the AFC. If the Pats win the division championship, guess who I’m cheering for? (perhaps I’m getting a wee bit ahead of myself) Arizona’s O looks like world-beaters. Rb’s Johnson and Johnson are above average and so is the wr trio of Fitz, Brown and Floyd. The D is solid and cb Peterson can take out your #1 receiver. The Pats start the season 0-1? Let the showerfreud* begin!
*some German word I may have misspelled
David Johnson is good at teh footy. Get him the ball and quit over-complicating simple effectiveness.
Oh my! Javid Dohnson!
Is celebrity endorsement still an effective means of advertisement? Do you think anyone has actually allowed their choice of insurance to be influenced by Peyton Manning?
/puts down phone
No…?
Chicken parm it tastes so good.
GODDAMMIT!!!!!!!
I think you underestimate the percentage of gravy in the brains of Indianans and Tennesseans
With that forehead satellite??
http://p.fod4.com/p/media/undefined/YbFStZPmSvup9S9gK6a9_giphy.gif
Rohypnol wasn’t too pleased with Mr. Sharper’s endorsement.
Peyton Manning: please die in a fire. Kthxbai
♫Please die in a fire now♫
Sean Payton looked a little rape-y in that NFL ticket ad no?
And just in general
wait, he will rape you if you DO buy tix or if you DON’T?
Yes.
He learned from the best.
http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s–njbC91kP–/c_fit,fl_progressive,q_80,w_320/srcv3fhtcm0cpc7rwzw4.gif
You’re only the best if you don’t get caught
That’s what Bill said.
Right? How was he not immediately pepper sprayed?
The Accountant
Those trial balance accounts will be recognized on October 14.
http://cdn3.gossipcenter.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/story_header/photos/kbell-cmt-host-043013sp.jpg
I find her generally off-putting in all but one way. Guess which one.
From behind….i hope.
Hail Bleergh?
Our Lord and Saviour always knows best
Shut the fuck up Collinsworth
Damnit
PI!
my best friend is having a hard time and i hav eknown the guy since we wer 15. love the dude. wish i coud do more than just listen. maybe thats the best thing righ tnow
Hey, listening is being a great friend. If he needs advice, you’re always there for that, too.
What he said.
Whatever you do, don’t drive over to his place.
http://cdn.playbuzz.com/cdn/91c92e76-3153-4906-805c-aced30fec4b3/eb79c78d-8d6c-4f27-824e-f00030740e4d.gif
http://pbs.twimg.com/media/BAsP4r0CAAEwNAi.jpg
Stop being a dick.
Oh sorry…look who I’m talking to.
No. Just no.
Frostee Rucker leaves the field as Wendy’s has its 50 cent Frosty campaign? I think I know where to find that tubby fuck.
Who are you wearing?
http://www4.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/Adult+Video+News+Awards+Arrivals+ukz8ZPb52Hox.jpg
Christian Gray’s ropes
Could be Herrera Issey Versace
Also, what’s her name? just curious, is all
What’s so mature about a name?
That’s where grandma’s decorative curtain ties went!
I accidentally watched most of this on the flight to Japan. It was good. If you’re okay with subtitles, check it out. It’s based off of a book, which I plan on reading soon.
http://www.japantimes.co.jp/culture/2016/05/04/films/six-four-japan-held-hostage-showa-era/
“Is it ‘Facts of Life’ hentai? If so, I would love catch lunch and chat all about it.”
– Trevor Siemian
My comments were removed!!!!!!! what is this Uproxxxxxxxxx? ‘m not up for for this!
Oh, THAT’S roughing the passer? Huh. Interesting.
“Yeah, no shit, huh?”
-Cam Newton
Roughing the passer? Do the refs think Brady is playing?
fcuking bullshit call
http://67.media.tumblr.com/1e3aa33dcbea7d306773d8efa8f968c4/tumblr_n91rvwqyDm1qlvyt0o3_250.gif
Welp, take a shot, they called a white guy tough
http://www.ozini.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/underage-drinking.jpg
I thought Fozz’s kids were older.
DFO: The Next Generation
Fucking asshole
things i want to see hit edelman:
– a linebackr
– a meteor
– an atomic shell shot from a tank
– a freigth train
Mentioning Jews and Trains in the same breath may be problematic.
I have a final solution for that
Hope the cost isn’t more than Arians salary of six million.
Now add Brock Lesnar.
Knowing Mr. Edelman’s lineage, I’d be weary of anything Arians send after him.
Now I need to quickly make up a lie about why I was laughing so hard
How I picture making Belichick laugh goes down:
http://cdn4.designbyhumans.com/product/design/u820110/pr168892-2-2159972-640×640-b-p-000000.jpg
Toonces fell hard when his AA sponsor went missing
His sponsor was the Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer, so … 🙁
Of course Tom Brady is a thirteen year old girl when it comes to facetime
They’re talking about how Jones used to be a Patriot like they talk about how tight ends used to play basketball
“God rest her soul, but it’s like when Alexis Arquette was Robert, y’know?”
You are an incredible performer…….Riley Reid.
Now there’s some clock mismanagement I’d like to be a part of.
http://media.virbcdn.com/cdn_images/resize_1600x1600/ee/1c5a77502336eabb-IMG_1595-Edit.jpg
No idea who that is…wink wink, nudge nudge.
Finally in JJFozz, we found the one thing more fucked up in Baltimore than the public schools.
Ice t, no longer scary to white people
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lua1opaSyp1qa1zvj.gif
You know who you are…suck it.
http://38.media.tumblr.com/acc859c1a19e4e7e16326ebb339630a9/tumblr_n8tmn7Dld61qcm0m3o1_500.gif
Eh, I’m over it.
http://cf.mp-cdn.net/27/a9/282e09f4780c0a2f736ef11e895b-should-mothers-be-held-criminally-responsible-for-their-children-having-fetal-alcohol-syndrome.jpg
I will kill all of you.
Not really….just gonna hunt CB down.
Jamiei Foxx – just cashing in, fuck it
You mean Famie Joxx?
After Ray, he couldn’t see any other way.
These GE commercials are the worst.
http://i.imgur.com/GMlbcfD.gif
I miss Ottoman
http://i.imgur.com/GMlbcfD.gif
So, you can save mankind from laiens, aliens, OR kick Bellichekc in teh balls. What do you choose?
Sex with Kristen Bell
Belichick in the balls but I’m disappointed jabbing him to death with that pencil he keeps behind his ear repeatedly in both eyeballs wasn’t an option.
Can I have the aliens kick Belichick in the balls? I would watch that.
parson calmer is one priestly motherfucker
make it snow: fuck tom brady
lady snow: yeah, fuck him in the buttchin
I have no idea when I started drinking. When was angry wine in this time zone? Though there were long gaps of not drinking involved. I’m pretty sure it’s lunch tomorrow right now. I kinda like jetlag. It lends some welcome surrealism and novelty to everyday life.
Try not sleeping for several months.
I sell cocaine and cocaine accessories.
Way too close to home there, but I appreciate the reference.
No, you are good. cause i have been drunk, sober, rallied, and back to drunk again. so ahoy matey!
I think you had an hour to drink at the airport during the early games if you are seriously asking
Fitz will never not be good at football.
Well, until he isn’t. But even then he will be.
He’ll be 80 and in a nursing home and still better at football than most. Sadly, his skills will only be used for not dropping his meds.
I want sugar but I have no cash and I don’t think the mini mart next to my job takes Apple Pay. Bwa bwa
I want to be on of larry fitgeralx’s dreads
Fuck T Williams! Run out of bounds you dumb fuck!
Unexpected family drop in is over. HOW THE FUCK YA DOIN?
ALL TURNOVERS WILL BE REVIEWED
http://aiminglow.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/012-1.jpg
Woah. Al just called the Refs “zebras”. Has he done that before?
It’s his personal protest against Black Lives Matter
farry litzgerald
My first beer got cracked at 915. And I’m kinda fucked up it. shitty ravens game. jesus can i get more ored? i will be there till i pass out.
how you fucking gusy woding? Doing?
My first crack got beered at 9:15 am
What
Shh. Don’t piss off Fozz. And if he looks at you, just avert your gaze.
Beady eyes and Dax spunk….gross
You may die tonight. Where do you live?
hint: don’t answer that.
I guess you just don’t support the troops. What are you, a commie?
Fuck off CB. Herodotus gotz my back.
http://hostimageforfree.com/images/2015/07/10/youre-god-damn-right.gif
Here is the worst part: because of the ginormous pool of blood in my eye, people think I look cross-eyed from a distance, leading one of my friends to send me the Kristen Bell-thing saying how similar we looked.
I’m not going anywhere near that one.
I may be dumb, but occasionally even I get a clue.
Lotsa luck with your…ummm…ocular dysfunction.
Double Post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Worship me!
da fuq….spur and Mr ayo became the same person so gradually….
Shut up…it was funny in my head.
WTF? Are we intersecting with the Darkest Timeline?
This * IS * the darkest timeline
Woah!
/drops spoon
//there is no spoon
Collinsworth sounds like teenage me when I would deepen my voice, thinking it would impress girls.
And just like teenage me, it wouldn’t work and I’d just blow an old guy named Al.