Your Sunday Night NFL Football Open Thread

[is floating on a metaphorical cloud because the Giants didn’t blow a close one]

Hey! What? How are you doing? [shakes cobwebs from head] TO THE GAME!

Phi/Chi-What is there to like about these two teams? The Eagles are in a weird spot because of Kelly’s shenanigans and the Bears are a teenage girl’s embodiment of the phrase “What. Ever!” Okay. I’ll give it a try. Eagles wr Matthews benefited the most from qb Wentz’ not-lousy debut. He went for 7/114/1. He could do more damage against Bears cb’s that have recently been rated as “meh”. Last week qb Cutler was all kinds of meh as well, sporting a 16-29/216/1TD/1INT line. Perhaps if we all get/continue to be high this game turns out to be watchable.* Despite being at home I’m thinking that the Bears end up at 0-2. Not that I’m cheering for the Eagles. No way.

NOW LET’S HAVE SOME FUN OUT THERE!!!

*does anyone have some spare glue I could borrow?

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Brocky

it took 2 offensive players a combined 7 quarters to muster up 7 fantasy points.

http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/0c/0c78cba3a20fb96188d62adc9e394b5a11bbfe83bbc4e160c7ba942e8dff037f.jpg

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m not sure I’ve got enough bourbon to erase the memory of that historically bad Raiders defensive performance.

Old School Zero

A Raiders fan that can’t get drunk enough?

Time for an intervention.

Unsurprised

Must be a Sunday

Covalent Blonde

But I’ll never tire of watching players dusting the infield off of their pants…

King Hippo

to think the announcers were questioning the 4th down decisions. Shit, JDR probably ought never kick again if’n that’s the kind of defense they gonna play

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Soooooo much this.

JerBear50

At least I don’t have to worry about keeping up with my survivor leagues for the rest of the season.

Brocky

you’re killing me lacy.

like literally, the bookie said he’d arrive at 11, and if i didn’t have means of paying, well, its curtains for brocky

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

– Len Bias, hanging out with Cindy Morgan in the 80’s.

Romonobyl

Anyone know how to right-click on a #*€!,? iPad?

Unsurprised

Press and hold down

Gratliff

Throw it out and get a real computer

Trevor Semen

Collingsworth and Michaels seem like they really love gaping holes

Sill Bimmons

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Trevor Semen

Unless her daughters are <13, that is probably false

Trevor Semen

And if they are <13, she shouldn't be talking about her kids like that

Spur

Was Twin Peaks as good as I remember it was?

Old School Zero

67% of it was.

Romonobyl

Burgers are pretty good, and the girls are….oh, the TV show. Never mind.

Moonbatting Average

It doesn’t hold up well

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Lacy would have caught that were it not for all the bacon grease on his gloves

Romonobyl

Fair catch…aka what my mother in law often uses in reference to me.

King Hippo

wanna know how much I suck? I have lost to a guy who benched DIGGS.

trollsoharduniversity

Man, I’m hungry. Anyone got any takeout menus?

Old School Zero

Nope.

Sill Bimmons

Corporations pay a lot of money for that kind of cultural coaching.

Brocky

I want to place money on the idea that there will be a Jaws remake within 5 years.

what’s over under on that?

Sharkbait

God I hope you’re wrong.

Spur

They’ll just make Meg instead.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Already in pre-production, with Jason Statham.

Spur

How can he drive a car on the water?

Beastmode Ate My Baby

It’s Hollywood…they’ll make it happen.

Brocky

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Beastmode Ate My Baby

Only if the studio wants to burn all bridges to Spielberg, so…very doubtful.

Smithchez

Yup. I’d give it until six months after Spielberg dies.

Romonobyl

So how many folks do you think know that The Magnificent Seven has Asian roots?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Just you and Hines Ward

Romonobyl

Big smirrree!

Beastmode Ate My Baby

“Whut the hell did you say?!?”

-Bill Parcells

Sill Bimmons

DFO 75%.

General Public 5%.

Sharkbait

Can has another Diggsdown?

Spur

one more beer? It’s only 8am here.

Romonobyl

Only one?

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Hey, an ad for Horatio’s new favorite movie!

/looks around

Aw, it’s no fun teasing the guy if he ain’t here.

Old School Zero

Sure it is! I mean, what, you’re NOT going to make fun of a Cowboys/Yankee fan when he can’t defend himself?

Old School Zero

Good to see the reffing quality is as good as ever this year.

Sharkbait

They should enforce the penalty on the extra point

Brocky

and how exactly is he exactly supposed to stop his momentum?

seriously cris answer the fucking question

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That’s some home cooking right there.

Moonbatting Average

Jesus Christ, Vikings

SonOfSpam

Direct quote from Peter when a bunch of big blond guys were about to pillage Mary Magdalene.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Al: And a cheerleader goes down as well.
Cris: Jesus! Don’t tell my wife!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Looks like DFO reprogramming has been super effective.

Romonobyl

Rodgahs better buy Jordy Nelson something appropriate for Christmas, like a summer home in the Hamptons.

trollsoharduniversity

Not the first or last time that cheerleader’s gone down

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Pretty confident that’s not the first time that Al has said “and a cheerleader goes down”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

It’s more like a rule for him.

JerBear50

He did work with Gifford for a long time.

Dunstan

Usually he says “do you believe in miracles?”

Shogun Marcus

Did cris seriously just drop betwixt and between?

SonOfSpam

How many sacks has Rodgers taken tonight*?

*Apologies if 50 other people already made that joke.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I was about to say how impressed I was by the Vikes’ D, and then that happened.

Sharkbait

How? How the hell does he do that?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

One more observation from the Emmys: Peter Dinklage’s suits fit better than Bernie Sanders’s

King Hippo

#1 of being a successful commie/socialist – NEVAR look like you have the big bucks to buy off the rack at a Men’s Wearhouse like some bigshot…

Romonobyl

FINAL ACT YOU GUYS!!!

Romonobyl

We now return to your regularly scheduled program of “Ow, My Balls” already in progress.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Wow, that was bullshit. Looked like offensive PI if anything.

King Hippo

Gotta cut costs somewhere!

aka No Carts FOAR Old Men

JerBear50
Beastmode Ate My Baby

Does this mean the Vikings will have to…switch running backs?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Dunstan

Ugh. I see you believe in corporal PUNishment.

Sill Bimmons

AHHHHHHHHHHHH GAAAAAAAAAAAAWD SHUT THE FUCK UP CRIS

ThePirateSloth

Brand new stadium, costs millions of dollars to design and build…. and the med staff have to carry a player along an open, public traffic area.

My architecture side is screaming right now

Old School Zero

“what does that word mean, ‘practical’?”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

But they already have the pile of rocks under which to bury him.

ThePirateSloth

I’m trying to defend the design, maybe that was the quickest path to the med room based on where he was on the field… then they show that clip again and they’re carrying him along a clear walkway with railings..

It’s…. amazing how terrible that is

Sill Bimmons

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King Hippo

I was somewhat relieved AP was hurt, in that it freed me to start Tyrell Fucking Williams at flex instead next week. Hey, it’s PPR.

Gratliff

Is he hurt or thirsty?

Covalent Blonde

Why a… why don’t they have carts at the new stadium for AP?

Duchess

Can’t drive the cart through the restaurant they just took him through?

Shogun Marcus

Inorite?!?!?!?!

Sill Bimmons
Col. Duke LaCross

Is Matthews contractually obligated to do the hair flip on camera at least three times a game.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Dunstan

Yes, but it’s actually in Aaron Rodgers’ contract.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

If the karma police are coming out, someone better put Darren Sharper and Ray Rice into hiding.

litre_cola

Thom Yorke approves

The Maestro

Ray Lewis as well.

Senor Weaselo

No, Bernard Pollard only injures Pats players.

Sharkbait

So THATS who was running around in a Kiko Alonso jersey earlier…

Shogun Marcus

If I’m AP’s kids (the ones he’s allowed to see), I’m hoping this doesn’t mean daddy’s home more.