Your “Please God, Just Let it be Over Already” SNF Open Thread

Whom amongst us isn’t tired of the Broncos?  And a resurgence in Oakland?  Come on Universe!!!!!!

/ducks rotten tomato hurled by Hippo

//nailed by rotten egg hurled by RTD

Yeah, yeah, yeah.  Fine, I get it.  This is a marquee matchup which very well could decide the AFC West outright before is all said and done, or even with tiebreakers.

Ask me if I even care.  Hint:  I don’t.

OK, maybe I care a little, because I am hoping that it won’t be a game in which the suck is so bad that I want to slash my wrists by the 5 minute mark of the 1st quarter.  Not to mention that the meteor still could show up so that’s always something…

Image result for caddyshaCK SO I GOT THAT GOIN FOR ME which is nice gif

Currently, the Broncos and the Raiders are both tied atop the division, along with KC which could barely get past the freaking Jags earlier today.  Jeebus.

Anyway, whomever wins tonight takes a half a game lead for the top spot in the division.  Whomever loses drops a half game into third.  And the whole world will still hate all three of those teams regardless of how it plays out.

Image result for philip rivers gif

Sorry Phil.  SMGDH.

 

Denver @ Oakland

Trevor Siemian has not set the professional footballing world afire necessarily.  But he’s been steady enough to give the Donks a fairly good chance at returning to playing in February.  Which is frankly pretty amazing.  But Derek Carr has been better for the Raiders, but no defense is going to cost them sooner or later.

The big question tonight is can Carr continue his miracle season against Denver’s defense?  I kinda don’t think so.  Time will tell.  If the Silver and Black attack takes care of business tonight, the division is theirs to lose.  Ken Stabler is impressed.  Oh no, wait…he’s dead.

Jim Plunkett is impressed. (Saved It!!!!!!)

Basically, these are two teams on opposite sides of the coin in every way.  But the eye test tells me that Oakland’s offense is not as stout as Denver’s defense.  And that Denver’s crappy offense has a slight edge on Oakland’s crappy defense.

The equalizer might be home field for Oakland.  Vegas sees that equalizer as well, thus Oakland is a -1 fav at home.

Like I said….Go Meteor!!!!!

But failing that, let’s call it…..

30-24…Denver takes over sole possession of the division at 7-2 and further solidifies their playoff picture.

Jerks.

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theeWeeBabySeamus
An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it's a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles. When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
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Shogun Marcus

“Will you be ready for growth?”
Well I’m not 16 anymoar, but I still make it do.

Spur

Is Derek Carr the only white guy on the raiders?

Unsurprised

And possibly in Oakland

Shogun Marcus

That’s NAWT a techbro douche!

Spur

Crabtree saved a pick there

Beastmode Ate My Baby

THESE BRONCOS, I CALL THEM JAMES DEAN BECAUSE THEY’RE GETTING KILLED BY A CARR.

Senor Weaselo

That beats the Michael Jenkins I would have gone with.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpvAR5KqkBQ

Spur

Are they implying Carr is Indiana Jones?

Spur

If any of you wankers play BF1 on PC look me up, Bolster702. I promise you heal you.

Old School Zero

No, YOU heal YOU.

Spur

Shit, am kinda lit. I’ve been playing and drinking since the end of the dallas game.

Old School Zero

This is a safe space. If you can find full sobriety here, I’ll eat my hat.

Old School Zero
LemonJello

One more three and out and Kubiak is going to have a* stroke.

*another

Senor Weaselo

Seahawks-Pats? One, go meteor, two, go Brady getting murderdeathkilled. Yes, all three, one is not enough.

Old School Zero

Seahawks won’t make it that far. No way.

Senor Weaselo

No, that’s next week’s game apparently.

Old School Zero

I STAND BY MY WORDS!

/massive earthquake destroys Seattle on Wednesday

/OSZ questions reality

Spur

No one gives a shit about the kneeling anymore

nomonkeyfun

Father Heywood Youblowme still cares.

Unsurprised

I should’ve gone to Nevada with my brother’s friend to work for Hillary. This was from her IG this morning.

comment image

Sharkbait

When I was in New York for my bachelor party, we hit a place called Bar Bacon. They had bacon flights. We may have done 4. Also bacon used as a garnish for an old fashioned is tasty as well.

Unsurprised

Good Lord. That sounds wonderful.

Sharkbait

It didnt suck.

King Hippo

you know, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if the world were to go up in a nice big ball of flame right about now. Would sure solve a lot of problems.

Old School Zero

That’s what everybody says when their Semen disappoints and goes astray.

Better donate to Planned Parenthood, I guess.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Thanks to climate change, we’re on a slow burn.

King Hippo

that’s more likely to drown us all, tho

Sharkbait

Never too early for hot girls.

LemonJello

A real Peytonian arm on Siemian tonight, huh?

King Hippo

good think Amerson wasn’t playing the ball there

King Hippo

trying to improve on our average of -1 yards per possession mark. Running the kickoff out to the 14 sure helps.

makeitsnowondem

Gentlemen.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Well, well…lookit Mr. “My Avatar’s Yuuuge So I’m Special” here.

litre_cola

Thought that glitch was taken care of.

makeitsnowondem

I honestly wish I knew why this was happening.

I Will Dye Blonde

How can you be a good boy when you attack my defence and my quarterback? I think you are mistaken.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

SHE SNEAKY!

Senor Weaselo

Is it bad that I’m snickering?

WCS

That’s a lie, and you know it.

Senor Weaselo

This is the correct response.

King Hippo

well, I turned off the Everton match in what was the equivalent of late in the first quarter. Denver not looking as if they will fare much better.

Old School Zero

Sipping the Last Word I just made for myself. It’s not powder blue, but it still tastes like victory.

Unsurprised

Do you have plans for the Thanksgiving weekend-ish?

Old School Zero

The girlfriend’s parents are coming up for the holiday, so I’ll have at least some plans. I could probably figure out an escape

King Hippo

11-5 still gets you in. Perhaps you might ask somebody?

makeitsnowondem

DRANKIN’ SN CELEBRATION OM NOM NOM

Old School Zero

I’m down to ONE BEER in the fridge. I’ve been trying to be good, but I love winter ales and am going to have to do a singles crawl at the bottle shop soon. That one’s on my list, with the Great Divide one, Sleigh’r, Jubelale, Winter Welcome… and whatever else jumps out at me.

King Hippo

well, perhaps you might like to have sex with yourself Virgil, because if this behaviour continues, then that is something that you can go and do

/obligatory smgdh

Senor Weaselo

No block in the black? Isn’t there always at least one?

Romonobyl

Back Lives Matter

Unsurprised

That’s especially funny coming from someone whose name refers to the inevitable moment Tony is broken in half come December.

Senor Weaselo

What typ… oh.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

“Look it up.”

What, like I have a set of encyclopedias handy?

litre_cola

I have heard about a tight end who is playing tomorrow night may have played another sport at some point.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Nuh-uh. Fubawers cannot play other, lesser sports unless they’re Bo Jackson.

Romonobyl

Jihad Ward?!?!? Did his parents hate him or something?

litre_cola

That or like any company called Isis who had good intentions but alas the globalization of the world has ruined it.

Senor Weaselo

COME ON BARCO DEL RIO JACK!

King Hippo

Turf monster WOO!!!

Senor Weaselo

It has quickly become 5-2 Ice Giants. 5 games in a row of 5+ goals.

Sharkbait

Too bad I’m in Boston. The Papa Johns at the bottom of my street would be severely abused.

Romonobyl

Remember…just the tip.

King Hippo

you know, it grinds mah gears the Raiders are thinking of moving. They shouldn’t play in a nice stadium. THEY BELONG IN THE TERRIFYING BLACK HOLE.

What’s wrong with a little personality?

LemonJello

Personality isn’t buying Mark Davis a new conversion van!

Unsurprised

But Detroit already has a team

LemonJello

Maybe they’re moving to a magical place….called Houston? I don’t think there’s a team there.

litre_cola

Do they have to stick to the game plan? Play their game? Let the game come to them?

LemonJello

I think it’ll come down to executing in all three phases of the game.

Senor Weaselo
Brick Meathook

YIKES! ALL THE DOGS ARE HOWLING!

Romonobyl

I feel like I just bit into a piece of foil.

Romonobyl

How many Coast Guard members does it take for a burial at sea?

4…one to push the body over and 3 to stomp it into the mud.

Senor Weaselo

Winner of The Voice? Four notes in and she’s flat.

Romonobyl

I wonder how many takes it took for Elisha to nail that intro video appearance.

King Hippo

I got zero words for ya: CGI

King Hippo

Richard Burr’s ads are just fucking AWFUL. Then again, Deborah Ross e-mails begging for money at least 5x daily. They both deserve to be locked in a port-a-potty with Andy Reid the morning after Thanksgiving.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Give her money and vote for her so you don’t have to deal with him and his “I’ll block any Supreme Court nominee” bullshit for the next 6 years.

King Hippo

I voted for her and corralled 4 others (a few needed convincing b/c she is kind of irritating), that shall have to do. Hippo broke, fucking old house won’t sell.

Sharkbait

No ads on NHL.tv. At least I get a break

King Hippo

Faith Hill’s was better. Plus I didn’t have to mute her “singing”

litre_cola

I have not watched the intro before, I kinda want to throw my tv off the deck.

Sharkbait

I think I’ll pass watching the start of this game for the Ice Giants game. Probably a better option.

Senor Weaselo

It’s 2-2, Ice Bombers just tied it, Ice Giants haven’t looked particularly sharp.

litre_cola

As a die hard Ice Blue Bomber fan I approve of this message. This Laine kid is good at Ice football

Senor Weaselo

Woooo JT, and I just picked him up in fantasy!

Sharkbait

5 games in 8 days will do that. I was at last nights. That was fun.

LemonJello

Shit, NoVA – 4 political ads in a row. What’s the over/under on total political ads during tonight’s game?

King Hippo

ALL

litre_cola

I just realized that I have a lot of Raiders on my ff teams. Do we have any Raider fans in the Commentist party?

Romonobyl

I used to be, then I took a shower and it just kinda went away.

Unsurprised

I just had a peanut butter pickle burger instead of the green chile burger I usually get (“usually”. I haven’t been to this place in months). It was really good and I want to go back tomorrow when it’s cheaper for their happy hour.

I’m a bad person.

Senor Weaselo

Because it’ll be cheaper at happy hour? That is being economical!

Unsurprised

Yeah … economical.

Romonobyl

Peanut butter in a burger?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Probably on. There’s a place by me that does it on a pretzel bun. C’est magnifique.

Unsurprised

In. On. Whatever. Fucking topping nazis.

It was on the patty between the buns. Homemade stuff, too. None of this Jif or Skippy shit.

Shogun Marcus

Here too. Pretty tasty.

Unsurprised

Yeah. Extra protein and sugar. Instead of cheese. Still semi-savory.

King Hippo

Alright, Donks. I need ONE of Booker, HEmanuel Sanders, or Virgil Green to score, and a non-loss in reality. A draw is acceptable and would be a fine addition to SNF magical lore.

Let’s hit that black hole HARD!

Wait, that didn’t sound good…

Unsurprised

Another nail in the prime time coffin.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I need about 50 points from Derek Carr to win an ESPN fantasy matchup, so…I’m going to bed before the end of the first quarter.

Unsurprised

I think you’re fucked.

King Hippo

if one wants to get deep about it, we is ALL fucked

/the lesson of Breaking Bad, I have a long version I recite when crunk

Brick Meathook

GEORGE BLANDA IS IMPRESSED

Romonobyl

I went to the store and got a sixer of alcohol-free “beer” and a quart of Pennzoil. I haven’t figured out which one I’m going to drink yet.

Senor Weaselo

Which one’s worse for you?

Romonobyl

I’m more concerned about the taste.

Col. Duke LaCross

Is Derek Carr wearing eyeliner on the field?

Sharkbait

Dinner was a success. I made mussels in beer with smoked sausage and cherry tomatoes with bread for the broth.

King Hippo

Well, I hope you brought enough to share with the whole class, young man.

Romonobyl

A bottle of above-average wine would go well with that.

Unsurprised

Damn. That sounds amazing. I love mussels.

King Hippo

I will cut and paste my prayer FOAR the match from other thread when I get home. Until then…

DONKS WOO!!!!!!!

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