INT. DFO PRODUCTION OFFICE – DAY A pair of sleazy Hollywood producers are hard at work. One - DARKEST TIMELINE ZACK MORRIS - is inspecting his recent manicure, occasionally frowning at imperfections. The other - RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY - is impatiently peering at a six-pack planter of seedlings. RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: Come on, damn you! Hurry up
EXT. THE ROYAL LONDON HOSPITAL – DAY Establishing shot. ANNOUNCER BETH MOWINS: That's My Royals [sic] is filmed on location in Belfast, [sic] England. CUT TO – INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY AMARI COOPER lies unconscious in a hospital bed. KOLTON MILLER sits in a chair in the corner of the room, munching on a big
EXT. OAKLAND RAIDERS SHARED HOUSE – DAY Establishing shot and title card. ANNOUNCER BETH MOWINS: Everybody Loves My Raiders [sic] is filmed in front of a live stereo [sic] audience. CUT TO – INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY The music of Dashboard Confessional blares throughout the house. KOLTON MILLER sits on the couch, munching from
EXT. OAKLAND RAIDERS SHARED HOUSE - DAY Establishing shot and title card. ANNOUNCER BETH MOWINS: That's My Ravens [sic] is filmed in front of a live studio auditorium [sic]. --- CUT TO - INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY SUNSHINE COWSER sits on the coach, reading Sun Tzu's "The Art of War" in its original Chinese.
INT. RAIDERS TRAINING CAMP CABIN 14 - NIGHT. A pair of dark forms are supposed to be asleep in a set of bunks. AMARI COOPER: [softly] Derek? DEREK CARR: ... AMARI: [louder] Hey, Derek? DEREK: [grumbles] Mmm. AMARI: You awake? DEREK: [groggily] I am now. What's the matter? Did you have another nightmare about Aqib Talib [carrying
EXT. COUNTRY CLUB PATIO LOUNGE - DAY Three well-dressed gentlemen sit comfortably in chairs around a circular table. A splendid array of hors d'oeuvres sits in front of them. A waiter arrives with a tray of cocktails and sets them down. XAVIER: [takes a sip of his Vesper martini] Ah, bye week. HENDRICK:
Editor's Note: the following conversation was inspired by (and some dialogue was lifted directly from) a discussion that took place at silverandblackpride.com about Jonathan Martin's admission of suicidal thoughts. EXT. OAKLAND COLISEUM PARKING LOT - MIDDAY XAVIER: ...we all wear masks from time to time to fit perceptual reality. It sounds like he never