Hey guys, isn’t it fun how KICKERS are missing all over the place today? I sure do love how much more EXCITING this is making the game of football! Roger Goodell knows a smart rule change when he sees one, and this certainly cannot POSSIB-LIE go wrong.
Scotchy is out tonight doing, uhhh, important adult things…
I am Low Commander of the Super Soldiers, and I will be carrying to the load tonight, but I know why you’re here so, ON TO THE GAME!
Green Bay Packers @ Washington Redacteds:
After getting dismantled in Tennessee last week, the Packers are looking to try to get their season back on track today in Washington, against the continually surprising Redacteds. Smart Packer fans will point out that Rodgers recent struggles go back to week 8 of last season, where they got beat up 29-10 by the Broncos in Mile High. Since then, the Packers have gone a collective 8-11, and have struggled to get much done at times offensively. Granted, that can be tough to do with a complete lack of a run game, but it never really seemed to bother them much in past seasons. They do get Aaron’s favorite long haired roommate back in Clay Mathews tonight, so perhaps the defense will actually be able to stop the run with some consistency.
Speaking of the run, Rob Kelley is getting the start tonight at running back for the Redacteds. After being part of their system for much of the year, Kelley seems to be the consensus starter going forward, and why not? On 60 rushes so far this year, only 2 have been for negative yards, and has had no fumbles. Maybe that’s not a big enough sample size to truly know what he is capable of, but it’s enough for him to get the nod from many of us in fantasy tonight, myself included. Don’t make me look stupid tonight, Rob! I certainly don’t need any extra help. Otherwise, Kirk Cousins has played decently enough as of late to not really lose Washington any games, but not always enough to win them either. Washington’s pass defense has played well with the addition of Josh Norman, but continually seem to struggle against the run, which totally plays to Green Bay’s strengths. I have hope that this can be an exciting and close game, but I foresee Washington winning at home by ten points.
Alright, you know what to do. Stretch out them fingers and get to the typity-type! See you in the comments.
“Hey, ladies. Wanna see my pipe organ?”
Someone needs to let NBC they are mixing up the lazy, league approved narratives for teams. You can only talk about how cold the weather is during a Packers home game, and then only bring it up to point out how the Packers totally are used to it and not bothered by the cold.
Not bothered by it at all; Favre hailed from chilly Missouri (or Mississippi? Who cares) and Rodgers is from California. Why would they be bothered by it?
The referee’s name is Hussy?
It’s like Goodell is looking out for us.
Why can’t Colinsworth take a week off? Maybe spend it in sunny Syria.
Aleppo is nice this time of year, so they say.
“Wait, is Aleppo a resort town somewhere?” -Gary Johnson
I believe he said “What is a Leppo?” which is even worse.
Plus I have three Leppos, but want another for my collection.
Not windy at all.
I don’t know what that is.
WEAR A BIG CRUCIFIX
Hang out at a hospital; the Russian air force likes those.
I froze my balls right the fuck off today on a soccer field. The wind was fierce. I wanted to punch the wind in the throat. I loathe windy days.
I come to DFO for the dick jokes, but I stay for the poetry.
Well it IS Autumn. You know what they say about the Autumn wind.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVugVQsjyaI
I would say the Autumn wind could blow me, but tht would be a cheap joke.
No, that would be a great joke. And I thank you.
Fucking pussy.
Found the game tiresome, relinquished the remote to the Mrs. Hello Hallmark Channel….
All in the Family and the Hallmark Channel do have one thing in common: uncomofortable sexual assault.
/Assuming Hallmark is the same as Lifetime.
Actually, Hallmark’s tagline should be “Beautiful, Rich White People and Their First-World Problems”.
A late warning for anyone who hasn’t watched Green Bay much: The offense is absolutely terrible until the 2nd half 2-minute warning when they score three TDs to lose by 14.
they are playing the primetime [*Redacted] s they’ll be fine
http://68.media.tumblr.com/13ab48f4c20ff829b15fa79155122798/tumblr_n9prl43JMU1qfh96do2_500.gif
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIzRGHuJt_I
There are many annoying things about SNF, but being reminded that Jimmy Fallon exists might be the most.
http://33.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4vhtjoCr21qj13p7o1_500.gif
The end of America began when they chose Fallon over Conan.
He knows about DFO too.
http://24.media.tumblr.com/fe90d42ded307310acb0906bf4cada7d/tumblr_mjkb8rgFAO1s33nmro5_500.gif
NC State’s Counsinfucker refugee has 15 in the opening 11 minutes. We are up…by 1
Cousins gonna get paid
Usually in Kentucky they just give them meth.
“My job at ExxonMobil? Spreading misinformation about climate change.”
I take great joy in reading the responses to their promoted environmental tweets
If global warming is real then how come it was cold some days earlier this year? Checkmate libtards.
Not shown on that Amazon commercial: the imam actually ordered extra sets of kneepads for the priest’s altar boys.
The priest returns the favor by buying new bells for all of the imam’s goats.
It’s like commercials are deliberately going out of their way to piss me off.
yay Skins TD
So how’s it looking?
https://youtube.com/watch?v=2Xi8NvSetZc
EVERYTHING’S FIIIIIIIINE!!!!!!!!!!
The amount of yellow pants on the field is really throwing my vision off
Because yellow or because pants?
Because this game sucks…anyone here still paying attention to PFTcommenter at all? Feel like he has completely morphed into just another Barstool guy lately.
I read some of his stuff at SB Nation, but not since going to Barstool.
That, sadly, seemed like the natural progression…
His Twitter feed is still entertaining, but, that’s the only thing I read of his.
THIS GUY RODGERS, I CALL HIM LAST-CALL BARTENDER BECAUSE THEY BOTH END THE EVENING PUSHING IN STOOLS!
I will admit an MIT guy in the nfl is impressive. But let’s not overexpose him. I mean, what about guys from Harvard or ones who played more than one sport? So ignored.
NC State/Creigh-Creigh is a defense-free track meet on CBSSN.
JJ Watt: Exactly as much an asshole in a commercial as I expect he actually is.
This iPhone commercial is cancer.
Blame WCS for getting this in my head
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8KrTC_o48o
My online stream from NBC doesn’t have commercials, and judging by your impressions of a Mercedes commercial, this is a very, very good thing.
Oh my fuck, I think my IQ just dropped 25 points after that Mercedes commercial.
Will she be there? Gee, I don’t know. If only we had some means of communicating by voice or text here in 2016.
Mercedes-Benz: reminding you that you should only let your children date children of other luxury car owners.
No Way!
(Tress Way!)
Mercedes Benz: Only rich white children deserve love.
Those kids are gonna fuck in that empty theatre
Mercedes Benz: Endangering your children’s lives since 1926.
Not gonna lie. I’m rooting for Green Bay.
Hard to do, ain’t it?
I’m actually enjoying their failure.
You poor miserable bastard.
Welcome!
It’s great when Collinsworth talks down to his entire viewership.
Evening.
Is any else ready for this week to be over already?
I basically rebought the exact same speaker set up I had before yesterday, except this time I set up all the speakers. It is fucking great. I still want a way to turn it to 2.1 for stuff that doesn’t need/use 5.1
http://24.media.tumblr.com/bb0d420eae5ef06283544e77b4928829/tumblr_mrk7avCS9k1rm63u9o1_500.gif
Anyone see the Amazon commercial with the priest and the imam? I’m pretty sure middle America will lose their collective shit once they see it.
It was on yesterday during the lesser footie games, people came to the same conclusion
The Donald just cancelled his account. I guess he’ll have to start getting his drums of International Orange Dye #7 from Sam’s Club now.
TRUMP WON STTOOPID LIBTARDS!!!!!!!!111!1 TELL THAT MUSLIN TO GO BACK TO MUSLANDIA!!111!!11 #MAGA
I have a feeling we’re gonna hear “should have good field position” a lot tonight.
I been hearing it all season.
BASKETBALL!!!!!!
Fuck Footballz….CBSSN
Wait no, don’t tune it….I don’t want the embarrassedmentz.
3 and out accomplished, snap but don’t bend defense coming right up!
Let the malaise begin!
I’ve got Ice Giants-Ice Dolphins. I’m pushing off the malaise as long as I can.
http://www.curbsideclassic.com/wp-content/comment-image/290121.jpg
“I asked for extra malaise on my burger and you guys forgot it”.
-Indiana
Needs moar ranch.
Hey Michelle, John Candy wants his parka back!
Navy Federal. Nothing like a little PTSD-based humor!
You can get tickets for next week’s Browns game against the Giants for just $11 each. Or if that’s too pricey you can wait until the Chargers come to town, when it’s $10.
That’s bullshit. You’d have to pay me way more than that to attend either game.
Those boots won’t keep her feet dry at all!
Phew! Almost didn’t make it to the mute button!
So, surprise surprise we just added an additional…
8 fucking people for dinner on Thursday.
Eight!!
I think we’re over 20 now.
Fuck me in the ass and call me Gwendolyn.
I’m going to start drinking now in self defense.
O AN THE TAEKS WILL BE HAWT
If the Vikings lose to Detroit most of them won’t stay very long.
We’re going to my in laws who were all Trump supporters, except for my brother in law. we’ve decided we’re going to use the sign from The Sting as a sign we need to meet in the garage and do a shot.
The Sting remains the only movie my father has never fallen asleep halfway through, so naturally he thinks it’s the greatest piece of art the world has ever produced.
I’ve got 15 coming.
Bought both a 19 lb and 14 lb bird today in fact.
Son in law has a big ass bird that he’s smoking and I’ve got a 10 pound ham.
Jesus, some of these kids are worse than Glen’s kids in Raising Arizona.
That was funny.
😀
http://66.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kqgn9kFcvN1qzhiqwo1_1280.png
You’re a lot quicker than me.
http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f230/Altermania/IMG_0613.jpg
It would be nice if the Trump folks would just not broach the subject of triggering topic of politics at family gatherings, but then again, they were fucking stupid enough to think a New York “billionaire” actually gives a fuck about them and has the ability to help them, so higher order judgment isn’t their strength.
Quit whining and get to cookin’ Gwendolyn.
I’ve had this cold for probably a week now, and it just seems to be getting worse and worse every day.
I assume this is karma coming back to get me for being a Pats fan, naturally.
One of the nice things about being a complete recluse shut-in for the last long while is that I don’t get sick much anymore.
I’m a teacher, so I’m supposed to have a BEEF MOE immune system. But apparently it got turf toe or something because it’s been unavailable for the past week.
“Did you try more bike?” -LaDanian Tomlinson
I think I had that same cold and the fucker took a month to improve.
Happy holidays?
Jay Gruden looks like he is all the paste.
/looks at his coach, Captain BlueBunny himself
Well…so it’s a draw on coaching then.
Good evening.
Evening sir.
You know, I’m a casual Michigan State fan, and seeing Kirk Cousins do reasonably well in the NFL is nice, but, this guy needs fucked in the dickhole with a red-hot curling iron.
Just the tip?
I just finished drinking a Celebration Ale in the shower.
I’m shocked that “Celebration in the Shower” is neither a beer name or sex act. You’ve let me down again, America.
Shower time: Not just for jackin’ it anymore!