Your “Wall of Voodoo asks, ‘Is This Game On Mexican Radio, Whoa O?'” Monday Night NFL Football Open Thread

Ahhh, Mexico City! Did you know that the NFL hasn’t played here since Mahmound Abbas won a landslide victory for the presidency of the Palestinian Authority? Time certainly has flown. Believe it or not, as a Canadian growing up in-you know-I didn’t learn much about The Mexico City! Shall we unpack her? Let’s! Rumour has it that Mexico City is arguably the biggest city in Mexico! Quite some time ago William S. Burroughs taught me that if you want to murder your wife under the guise of playing “William Tell”, the best place to pull it off is right here. This lovely lady of a city has the 2nd largest fresh fish market in the world but also the 27th largest fresh elk market as well! The 1968 Olympics ushered in the tres chic black glove fashion statement. The city has a very generous immigration policy with respect to Canadians because, “they tend to keep the overall temperature down.” The GDP (Gross Dick Pic) of this metropolis and its environs relative to the country as a whole is a whopping 16%! The mayor of Mexico City can cure psoriasis by simply looking at you. Every January 11th, fireworks are stuffed up the butt of Hernando Cortez effigies. What’s with the big grudge, City of Palaces? TO THE GAME!

Hou/Oak-For the smarty-pantses among you (myself included) that thought that the Chiefs were nowhere close to being as good as their record indicated-I give you the Houston Texicans. This whisper-thin “good” 6-3 team has a minus 27 point differential. Sure, they’ve squeaked by lousy teams six times. Huzzah for them! The bad news is that every time they’ve played a good team they’ve been blown out. The wins are not convincing and the losses are disheartening. The secondary is highly ranked but hasn’t faced a wr combo the likes of Crabtree/Cooper so far. Houston can bring the heat against lesser clubs but the Raiders O-line is ranked 2nd in pressure rates (Carr has time to throw the ball) and first in adjusted sack rate (amount of time fooling around with their balls because the athletic cup doesn’t fit quite right) Looks to me that the Raiders will expose themselves to the Texicans.

There you go… HAVE AT IT, MISCHIEF-MAKERS!!!

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Dunstan

Holy fuck, Berman isn’t bad enough, they’ve got to throw Stephen A. at us, too?

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

MY NEW TV, I CALL IT JAMES DUNGEY, BECAUSE THE ONLY THING KEEPING IT FROM GETTING HUNG WAS FINDING A STUD.

King Hippo

oh dear Christ, if this ain’t on the banner come ‘morrow noon,,,ALL THE SMGDH IN THE WORLD

Gratliff

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Sharkbait

Somewhere this segment is giving a Trump supporter an aneurysm

Spur
Don T

Brock vs. Carr (a summary)
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
King Hippo

DonT’s candle updates are always a joy. Videmos!!

/whatever “videmos” means ,, smh

Spur

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That is from Italian TV….. close enough.

...

Considering Trump is basically the American Berlusconi, I expect much more of this.

Sharkbait

I just spent the last 10 minutes trying to see if Ican totally fit a 55 inch 4K tv in my apartment living room. I may have to settle for the sound bar instead.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

Knock out a wall

WCS

As we all collectively rush to find the MUTE button to silence Berman, I feel now is a decent time to notify you all that Lil’ WCS’s first mimicry she’s learned is sticking her tongue out at people.

Next step: giving bad drivers the finger.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
King Hippo

I would NEVAR try to tell a woman I know how to eat a taco better than her ,, no ofence

Sharkbait

Parenting win.

King Hippo

I was like 18 months with my mom in the grocery store, when another shopper dropped something an I said “shit, shit”

YOU RAISING THAT CHILLUN RIGHT, DAWG

Brocky

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Col. Duke LaCross

Probably my favorite thing they’ve ever done.

Unsurprised

Since when do cartel gunmen bother with laser sights?

King Hippo

total noobs ,, smgdh

jjfozz

Trump has announced that the summer White House will be located in the deep jungles of Brazil.

Gratliff

Good, maybe he’ll get eaten by some well-meaning tribe down there.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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jjfozz

Looks like Manningbot was able to hack into one of our satellites to dazzle Oszweiler with green lasers.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

“She’s certainly tamed that horse.”

“Yes but what man can tame her?”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The one commercial that Peyton’s agent wouldn’t let him do…

Spur

Well at least Raiders fans are only bringing lasers to the game instead of knives.

jjfozz

You know the pool in the White House that Nixon had covered over? Trump’s apparently decorating it with artwork stolen from Europe back in the 40’s . . .

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Hey, my TV ain’t speakin’ Murican!

Brocky

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Sharkbait

So has anyone been hit with garbage or bags of piss yet?

WCS

So, just a regular Raiders game?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

No, Brock has actually been throwing some pretty good balls tonight.

Spur

Not yet but I keep seeing lasers on the field.

Brocky

um…. yeah about that…..

Senor Weaselo

But Catler and the Bears aren’t playing!

litre_cola

So the Raiders are who we thought they were or the Texans are what their record states. I am so confused.

Dunstan

Apparently, if you want beet juice, you go to Mexico City.
If you want to beat Jews, you go to Washington D.C. and get named senior advisor to the President.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

THAT is god damn good.

Spur

Beets by Schrute

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
LemonJello

Fatality!

jjfozz

Here’s who you see if you need the GOOD beet juice

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Tracking this game on gamecast isn’t as good as being there but IS better than listening to Gruden

Brocky

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Spur

Where is JJ Watt? He playing?

litre_cola

Busy making commercials. Took a personal day

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
The Maestro

he ded

Unsurprised
Brocky

My brother hates me so much for introducing his kids to this song.

he deserves it though. douche bag voted for trump

WCS

Call of Duty:

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Nothing like DoD-funded video games to keep recruitment up.

Brocky

obligatory

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Brocky

I think these fellas need to pray to the local religion of Mexico:

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
LemonJello

The juxtaposition of those two ladies has me strangely aroused.

Col. Duke LaCross

Bakersfield Christian High: Home of the Fightin’ Nepotists!

/not sure if that’s a word

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

HIS NAME IS FUCKING DEREK FOR GOD’S SAKE IT’S BEEN THREE YEARS!!!

ThursdaySkyGoddess

I once watched the fourth quarter of a Longhorns game where they continuously referred to Case McCoy as “Colt McCoy’s brother”. No one said his name until the post game show.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Was I drinking too fast or not fast enough?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Brocky

GOD DAMN IT! GREAT JOB MOOSE NOW I FUCKING WANT SOME TACOS.

Seriously, I’m hungry now

Senor Weaselo

Yes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Beastmode Ate My Baby

A lot of guys celebrate their first time in Mexico.

litre_cola

I read that as celibate, and I thought it was a San Diegans right of passage to head down to Mexeeco in their youth and lose their virginity to a one eyed prostitute.

jjfozz

There’s a hole joke here that I don’t want to post.

Spur

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Spur

Why would he catch that?

jjfozz

THIS JON GRUDEN, I CALL HIM DONALD TRUMP, BECAUSE HE’S AN IRRITATING LOUD MOUTH WHITE GUY MAKING SNIDE REMARKS ABOUT MEXICO

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
litre_cola

How did no one see this as incredibly racist?

jjfozz

Actually, when tv stations wanted to ban Speedy Gonzalez, Mexicans complained because they liked the character. Not kidding.

...

I’ve found that Facebook’s “People You May Know” feature is mostly crap that suggests people you’ve never met, but LinkedIn is creepily good. I just scrolled past a girl I hooked up with after a New Year’s Eve party years ago and I am not sure how she ended up on this list.

jjfozz

What skils did you endorse her for?

...

Actually, she should have endorsed me for a couple skills.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Crying during sex is indeed a skill

...

Ice cold, dude. ICE. COLD.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Ice; it’s true.

...

Also funny: I scrolled past a woman that worked a competing TV station back in my news days. The only thing I remember about her is a time when at a party she talked about getting anal.

Horatio Cornblower

Will Smith continues to make mystifying career choices.

Dunstan

He seems to be a sucker for these “spiritual, uplifting, look-how-deep-I-am” films

LemonJello

He’s probably still spending Bad Boys, Men In Black and Independence Day money.

jjfozz

THIS COLLATERAL BEAUTY, I CALL IT A HUGE STEAMING PILE OF SHIT. BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT IT IS

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The knowledge is out there; you just need to find it:

Icelandic Phallological Museum ~ Reykjavik | Iceland

Dog Collar Museum ~ Leeds | England

Momofuku Ando Instant Ramen Museum ~ Osaka | Japan

Barbed Wire Museum ~ Kansas | USA

National Mustard Museum ~ Wisconsin | USA

Le Musée des Vampires ~ Paris | France

The Sex Museum ~ Amsterdam | Netherlands

The Garbage Museum ~ Connecticut | USA

Avanos Hair Museum ~ Avanos | Turkey

Meguro Parasitological Museum ~ Tokyo | Japan

WCS

Mayonnaise Hall of Fame — Terre Haute, Indiana

Brocky

Museum of PEZ Memorabilia:

Burlingame, CA

(its a real thing)

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

I refuse to believe the Garbage Museum is anywhere but northern New Jersey

Spur

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Spur

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jjfozz

THIS GAME, I CALL IT THE BATTLE OF THE ALAMO, BECAUSE THE TEXANS ARE GETTING SLAUGHTERED WHILE MEXICANS CHEER

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Oh bravo