Shitsgiving Mini-Thoughts and Day After JV Preview

Due to family bullshit, much of my coverage was radio, and my TAEKS are evens less informed than usual. Caveat emptor. Oh, and HAPPY DAY AFTER OVEREATING SHAME, EVERYBODY!!!

Crazy Eyez managed to go 31-37 and still stink up the field and single-handedly lose the game in Romonobyl-like fashion (h/t Bortleback from the Game Thread). That’s really goddamned hard to do. Jim Caldwell’s Fuck Lions are now 7-4!?! with prohibitive tiebreaker advantages over everybody. They’ve got this mofo in the barn. This marked the first time in history any team (DET) had opened the season with 11 games decided by 7 points or less.

In the digestif fixture, we get a dissertation on the gap (or lack thereof) between fantasy and reality. Because DAK! and palz seemed a particularly cruel snake playing with a mouse in its glass enclosure, letting it scurry around futilely. Is futilely even a word?? Fuck it. Anyway, every time DAK! needed a score, he went out and got one. Or a first down to kill the game off. But in the alternate realm which is MUCH more important to most of us (given the sad state of our for realz lives), what Captain Kirk did was much more meaningful, and dream/season killing. Fucking asshole. Anyway, the Pokes remain the best side in the NFC, having run off 10 wins in a row in-season for the first time ever.

The radio crew noted that the Yinzers hadn’t won on Shitsgiving since Harry Truman was President (and greater Yinzburgh prolly liked what Give ’em hell Harry SAID about black folk a lot more than what he DID for black folk). Worry not about any historical jinxes, nor The Ben’s home/road splits, Indy was rolling with a high school janitor under center, and do recall that even with HODOR playing…their OL was maybe the worst in the NFL (OK, outside of Denver). It was uglier than words could describe, and naturally the one I had teevee box access for the most of. Best tinfoil hat conclusion – Indy’s locker room pooled together money to bet PIT at -8.5, and the Stillers at least bet the under. Though for much of the 2nd half, it REALLY looked like they wanted to win by 7 and let that be that.

NC State at U*NC (Noon, ESPN)

Because I have to watch, and I will be super fucking vulgar and angry.

Arkansas at Missouri (2:30, CBS)

See if you can count the people in the stands for this one. Mizzou sure went down fast once that gay dude left. PHRASING!!

Washington at Washington State (3:30, Fox)

An Apple Cup with meaningful stakes! Winner advances to the Pac 12 title game against Colorado or SC. I am torn between my love for the batshit insane Mike Leach, and my desire for Washington to win out and keep the goddamned B1G from getting 2 sides in the playoffs again. Oh, how I hate watching those boring, Trump-loving assholes play.

TCU at Texas (3:30, FS1)

Did you hear? Charlie Strong might actually NOT get fired after all? After losing to KANSAS!! The school President is putting his neck on the line, because apparently getting death threats and bricks thrown through his home and office windows makes his wee-wee hard. Oh dear fuck, is that stadium gonna be ANGRY.

Baylor at Texas Tech (6:00, ESPN)

No meaning whatsoever, but nothing else is on. Space yo’ shit out. Put NEB/IA on at night, maybe it snows?

Arizona State at Arizona (9:30, ESPN)

Will you watch absolutely goddamned anything at this point? Then this one’s for you. I don’t even think this boring-ass rivalry has a nickname. If it do, I doesn’t know it.

0 0 votes
Article Rating
King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
Subscribe
Notify of
167 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
entropy

Lindsay had a strong finish to this season.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Plus cereal.

scotchnaut

Many parents are complaining about how the new cereal “Honey Bust-A-Nut Cheerios” is marketing itself.

blackroseMD1

What the fuck is a Robbie the Reindeer?

Did Rudolph go to live on a farm upstate?

scotchnaut

Rudolph was killed by an IMG focus group.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Shan’khor is pleased with Mizzou just before the half.

...

Fitting since no one else is.

scotchnaut

The Yuletide Fireplace channel is really bringing it this year!

scotchnaut

May I suggest switching from a deodorant to an antiperspirant?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That won’t quash my extreme arousal.

entropy

That’s a window, and your neighbor’s house is on fire, you monster.

Croooow

Fun “No Defense” game between Houston and Memphis.

Croooow

Hilarious how they made such a deal about expansion and then decided “lol jk” after teasing so many desperate schools. And they wonder why they will likely to be left out in this year’s CFP.

scotchnaut

Temple is crushing West Virginny by 20 and The Huggy Bear is as angry as you think he is.

Don T

i haven’t fel this tired sin
/drops phone

scotchnaut

Incredibly Gangly 7-Foot White Guy Alert-CS Northridge is the latest team to buy into the “you can’t teach height” chestnut.

Hippo, how does that Yogurtseven guy look so far?

scotchnaut

I was disappointed that we lost him but we have 7’2″ Chukwu back there when we need a tall guy.

Croooow

Great to see NC State win!

scotchnaut

I’m not an NC State backer but I sure am a UNC hater. HUZZAH!

Fronkenshteen

Is there a “Sunday Gravy” in the archives with Thanksgiving leftover suggestions/recipes? Anyone have a turkey stock recipe that has different ingredients than the basic chicken stock

laserguru

Made my own turkey stock this year.
2 turkey legs
1 box (32 oz I think) of chicken stock
3 carrots rough chopped
1 onion rough chopped.
4-5 celery stalks rough chopped.
3-4 cloves of garlic minced.
2-3 bay leaves
1/2 tablespoon of fried thyme
1 teaspoon of ground sage.
Enough water to cover everything by an inch or two.

Throw everything in a stockpot and slow simmer for about 2 to 2 1/2 hours. Strain the stock and put into a freezable container. Can be kept in the fridge for about 4 days, can be frozen for up to 3 months.
The gravy and dressing that I made this year had this stock to thank for being fucking awesome.

There is a Sunday Gravy post about leftover turkey where I made some kickass enchiladas. I highly recommend that.

https://www.doorfliesopen.com/index.php/2016/04/17/sunday-gravy-with-yeah-right-this-isnt-leftovers-its-the-main-event/

Fronkenshteen

Thank ya sir! I believe I’ll make this tomorrow.

Fronkenshteen

Memphis’ helmets make it look like their heads might be made of milk chocolate.
I’m high.
Anyone drinking yet? I want a Guinness.

entropy

I don’t understand what “yet” means. Do you mean “still?” Because then, yes.

Horatio Cornblower

Just a thought hardcore, but that aluminum truck will save you a small fortune in gas and if you tell people not to dump cinder blocks into the bed from 5′ up it won’t dent like that.

...

That commercial seemed so dumb because even I, urban-dwelling douche, realize that if you planned to haul cinder blocks, you’d get a fucking bed liner.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

There is a Star Trek marathon on BBC America; I do not remember this episode….. or maybe it was from one of the movies.

http://68.media.tumblr.com/44741d3e738fbfc54a824a8d1d791bc9/tumblr_oh3dtjIsVc1u90g1uo1_400.gif

theeWeeBabySeamus

Dammit Jim, I’m a doctor!!!!!!

Horatio Cornblower

Aw man, the ones wearing red always die.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I THINK THIS ENSIGN WILL “DIE” OF PLEASURE.

*and be dehydrated later.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The otter hates these sweaters even more than I do. I think this would be a better thing to focus your rage on.

http://68.media.tumblr.com/5fd57a6fe5f5c4136b34466b126239fb/tumblr_nzjietgwpa1to7yd8o1_1280.jpg

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Hippo irrationally angry at the NFL game and wants scapegoats!!

http://68.media.tumblr.com/373bffd39062c42b0a60091b60096d4f/tumblr_oh1qmdlfku1u66hq1o1_400.gif

ThursdaySkyGoddess

I really hate this Xfinity commercial where the grandparents get wi-fi because their teenage granddaughter referred to their house as “hell” without it. Don’t reward that bratty cunt by paying $200 a month for Crapcast when they probably see her a few times a year. Also, lack of wi-fi won’t stop you from being able to take selfies with your grandparents.

/Going to yell at clouds.

Horatio Cornblower

Wife and I have to go pick up the new car in an hour. Used Kia.

But I sat in a brand new Shelby in the showroom and made ‘VROOM, VROOM’ noises while turning the steering wheel so it’s not as bad as it seems.
(It is that bad)

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

While I am saddled with huge payments, but at least it doesn’t smell like wet dog fur.

*until next week.

...

“Buddy Cole Buttplug Bowl” really rolls nicely off the tongue.

theeWeeBabySeamus

That’s kinda is a difficult mental image of a buttplug rolling off the tongue.
Just saying.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Horatio Cornblower

This Mercedes commercial is awesome because it makes me believe that rich white people can find love too.

entropy

They really are terribly unfairly maligned, those rich white people.

entropy

I’m not even fucking around with JV Football today: it’s a full Friday of various bands live on KEXP and getting some drawing done for me.

(Yes, there’s whiskey. I’m ignoring football, not my normal life)

Horatio Cornblower

Roy Williams in the booth. The smug levels just shot past ‘unhealthy’ to ‘immediate death for infants and elderly’.

...

All hail your banner quote creating master. (Me.)

scotchnaut
ThursdaySkyGoddess

How are UNC 8-3? They look fraudulent as hell.

Horatio Cornblower

Good crowd too. Literally dozens of fans there.

...

As fraudulent as their grades?

LOLOLOLOLOLOL

Horatio Cornblower

Oh man, the sweet release of leftovers gluttony!

How the fuck we doin’ men*?

*not that I want to assume gender

Fronkenshteen

Like the late Gigi Cestone said, before his fatal heart attack on the toilet: “These mashed potatoes are like shpackle in my bowels!”

entropy

This showed up my YouTube “related videos” link today. I may need to ease up on the 90s music:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lmZL7vT5hk

theeWeeBabySeamus
theeWeeBabySeamus

MODERATION????????

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

RTD: NO DON’T LET HIM SEE…

TODD MARINOVICH: [walks over] Hey, man…looks like that phone booth is busted…so you’re probably not gonna need that change, right?

Don T

That WAS @ DAL was a high quality game. Few penalties and great plays.

Say, those NC Wolven Scholars are kicking ass. Great commercial too. Fly high, Yer Hi Ness.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Better than expected, yes. Not as good as it should be.
Hopefully we can survive the 2nd half after going all stoopid to end the 1st.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Wanna see how pissed Hippo and meself (and others) are right now?
I’m Wufpacker…Hippoz is BJD95.
http://www.statefansnation.com/forums/topic/let-the-hate-flow-unc-open-thread/

Horatio Cornblower

The Buddy Cole Buttplug Bowl?

ThursdaySkyGoddess

The Texas Tech game has some meaning. Shame their head coach probably won’t be back next year.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZRANovM3dA&feature=youtu.be&t=27s

ballsofsteelandfury
theeWeeBabySeamus

You should bring them here.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

entropy

Ship some North!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Aaaand then we fuck it up and give uncle mo right back.
Need pts on this possession.

...

What if he had a counterpart named Larry Beard who had a creeper fucking fedora?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is it too early for a nap?

scotchnaut

My entire afternoon is sponsored by the good folks at Zantac.

scotchnaut

College hockey-wise, Vermont and UMASS are playing a game in Belfast of all places.

...

While commenting on the ACC, I have to ask if anyone anywhere understands their football divisional alignment?

...

It’s just so odd. I only mostly know it because I’ve memorized it.

...

Honestly, it’s better than the Big 10 which invents trophies for half their games.

laserguru

And on that note, it’s time for me to get ready for work.

Sunuvabitch.

blaxabbath

Arizona-ASU is the Territorial Cup. It’s the oldest rival trophy in CFB.

I will not be watching.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Shitsgiving is also what I’m calling today on account of the copious amounts of time I’m spending on the toilet.

laserguru

I believe the ASU Arizona rivalry is called the Duel in the Desert.

That’s as creative as their meth addled minds could get.

...

The Arizona-ASU rivalry is usually called the Territorial Cup. That’s the name of the trophy, at least.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arizona%E2%80%93Arizona_State_football_rivalry

...

What’s crazy about college football is that top teams are basically run by crazy rich fans (“boosters”) who can’t be told to fuck off because these programs need dipshits pouring millions into their coffers to continue existing. It must be hell having to deal with those idiots. As an outsider, it’s funny to watch people associated with programs such as LSU and Texas look like temperamental toddlers because they don’t win national championships every year.