Your “A Broken Clock Gets It Right Once A Year” Thursday Night Football Open Thread

Well lookee here! We got ourselves a great tilt between two superior teams with a history between them and a division lead in the mix. Everyone says that 2016 started going downhill right after David Bowie was shot to death in that zoo enclosure but if that is what it takes to finally get a quality matchup on a Thursday night I’m good with it. Or maybe that had nothing to do with it. Perhaps this is the NFL Scheduling Squad’s version of Susan Boyle walking on to The Gong Show’s stage. Did I just reference “The Gong Show”? I couldn’t be more embarrised. TO THE GAME!

Oak/KC-This game speaks for itself but I have to type something otherwise I won’t not get the money that isn’t owed to me. The last team to beat the Raiders? You bet it was the Las Vegas Golden Knights, er, the Chiefs. The Raiders have won 6 straight and the Chiefs are 20-4 over their last twenty-four games. As good as the Raiders have played they are vulnerable to the run game. They gifted the Bills with 212 yards on the ground and a 7.1 yards per carry average just last week. We all know how committed KFC HC Reid is to the run/short-passing game and perhaps this will be an effective antidote to the ridiculous awesomeness that is Khalil Mack. Oakland’s offensive line is rated just behind the Cowboys and since week 8 the Chiefs have averaged 3 sacks per game-SOMETHING MUST GIVE!

As always, check out the crazy goings-on at Free Ballin’ Football down below. Has Bill finally come to terms with his heterosexuality? When will Josh finally admit that the bunny slippers belong to him? Where did Tim’s toenail-clippings diorama disappear to? Will someone finally explain to Nick the difference between ‘peanuts’ and ‘penis’? For the answers to these questions and some quality jaw-wagging about NFL-related goings-on check it out.

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Curse of Marino

When did Derek Carr and Alex Smith swap play styles?

Spur

The mom in this USPS has one of the worst haircuts. Almost as bad as Mark Davis

Curse of Marino

Mark Davis is the only human being on the planet who watched Dumb and Dumber and thought to himself, man, those guys have some killer hair

jjfozz

I’m not in my bah humbug mood yet, must be the thirrd glass of bourbon

Horatio Cornblower

I love how they’re talking about the “frigid” conditions and then mention it’s 22 degrees out.

That’s a pretty balmy day for December in KC.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You wouldn’t think so from the way the Raiders receiver are dropping pass. You’d think the ball was made out of ice and also their hands were made out of ice.

Unsurprised

Gashes gonna leak

litre_cola

Frigid? Fuck them, that is fucking balmy.

/currently in an abnormal 2 week cold snap up here.

litre_cola

This whole story by Collinsworth was complete bullshit. What an ass.

Horatio Cornblower

Serves you right for listening.

Spur

Its very clear. The invasion of the body snatchers has occurred, and they’ve got Alex Smith. Kill it, kill it with fire.

entropy

So does Hill’s comparison to Sayers mean Alex Smith is gonna get cancer now?

Horatio Cornblower

It means Sayers’s hands are gonna shrink three sizes today.

Horatio Cornblower

Hey guys I just got back and…

/Alex Smith throws a 40-yard TD

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=liuSbrghzmk

King Hippo

every last minute tweak I make OR don’t make fucks me. Exhibits A and B – left Seabass AND Hill on el bench.

entropy

That 30 yard throw seemed to be the upper limit for Smith

Curse of Marino

Wow, when the fuck did Alex Smith learn how to throw a 30+ yard pass?

Curse of Marino

Did someone dip KC’s unis in ketchup? Didnt they know how fucking dangerous that is in Real Murica? I fully expect a fat hump to try eating someone.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Andy Reid is a few steps ahead of that.

Unsurprised

The only thing Andy Reid is ever a few steps ahead of is Death

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Well played.

Unsurprised

Thank you

Spur

Can we fast forward to the fourth quarter?

Curse of Marino

Did someone dip KC’s unis in ketchup? Dint they know how fucking dangerous that is in Real Murica? I fully expect a fat hump to try eating someone.

Curse of Marino

As a Dolphins fan, I would really appreciate it if Andy Reid does what he does best and chokes down this final stretch of games.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

He’s more like to gulp them down, but I am certainly sympathetic.

JustStopDude

So these TNF “EXTREME TO THE MAXXX” uniforms for this game….

Its like they didn’t bother changing anything for the Chiefs and somehow Nike or whatever managed to fuck up the Raiders uniforms completely.

Their shit looks like they got Liberace to design the uniforms….

http://www.missioncreep.com/mw/images/libwrings.jpg

Old School Zero

This color rush is like an immune system–all these white cells and red cells going at it.

Watching it on Twitter, though, involves being surrounded by incels.

JustStopDude

You ain’t got NBC?

Last time they did the twitter shit, I completely forgot they were also showing the game on NBC.

I felt like a complete ass.

Old School Zero

We’re having winter weather madness in Portland, and NBC wasn’t showing up on the antenna (fuck having cable). I’m rescanning the channels but it takes a while, but the tower might be out or something.

Curse of Marino

Do you think David Carr gets pissed that his brother is better than he was?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I hope he calls him Abel.

Spur

I never see people dress fancy, or look happy, at my local Walmart.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Aim High”

Also good advice for playing paintball with Mike Glennon.

litre_cola

Or Merton Hanks for that matter.

Brocky

Al and Christ Lovingly discuss white TE travis Kelce

Officials, Penalty, 87 on KC, 5 yards

Al and chris ignore this, continue to lovingly discuss Kelce

King Hippo

Alex Smith in this weather is just pitiful.

litre_cola

So Mrs Col has shot down my idea of naming Millilitre Cola, Charcandrick, Vontaze, Latavius or Tyreek. I told her I don’t see colour but she still wont budge.

jjfozz

“Watch how quickly this ball comes out.”
-Me at my bachelor party

Brocky

hey man, if your friends hired a thai stripper and you didn’t intervene, that’s on you.

litre_cola

Excellent work sir.

WCS

Anyone that desperate for Bud Light needs their liver to jump out of their mouth, slap them across the face, and demand to be killed in a more dignified fashion.

Unsurprised

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli:

“/steals term “non-practicing heterosexual”

On reddit they call themselves incels

litre_cola

So lookin like Imma gunna need the Raiders defense to save me this week. Small hands had better not learn how to throw deep like that last pass.

Unsurprised

Founder of the Alt-Right
comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

G’nite folks. Love you all….thusly don’t want to drag you’s down with me.
Be well, my friends.

jjfozz

Need to talk? Shoot me an email

theeWeeBabySeamus

Thanks man, sincerely.
But I just need to fuck off for a while.

King Hippo

Now that Oakland has the lead, they need to protect Carr’s owie and run wildcat the rest of the night.

WCS

Look, Daddy, Professor WCS says, every time an iPhone commercial airs, a demon claims another innocent victim!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The age of these kids in the Romeo and Juliet is pretty faithful to the ages of the characters as Shakespeare wrote it.

Spur

Andy Reid’s thinking about what he wants to eat during halftime.

King Hippo

I’d be surprised if he doesn’t have a body double so he can get in a snack break in between quarters tonight.

JustStopDude

Quality push off!!!

Spur

ALEX SMITH DEEP BALL?!

Spur

Yikes, Khalil might impale Alex Smith tonight.

jjfozz

“Well sure, the cold can make you stiff, but Jack Tatum can make you even stiffer.”
-Darryl Stingley

WCS

Wow.

King Hippo

I like it when Fozz is especially mean-spirited. One knows Festivus is CLOSE.

litre_cola

Deep pull.

Spur

At least the Spurs are playing tonight on TNT if this game blows.

litre_cola

Would never have known you as a Spurs fan. – Jerome Bettis, Detroit.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Who is the deity responsible for bestowing favorable rulings on challenges? Anticarey?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

YERAC! That’s it.

King Hippo

you could photoshop an upside down cross with Mike Carey nailed to it, I betcha

King Hippo

godfuckingdamnit. My coin is a lying motherfucking cunt

King Hippo

Seabass will make this, and I will kill myself.

Spur

If he was in the endzone is it a touchdown?

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

MAYBE

...

WHAT IS CATCH? IS CATCH THING?

Croooow

NBC misses Law and Order, Seinfeld and Friends bad.

jjfozz

Today in traffic I called someone a stupid ass cunt.

King Hippo

Watching EPL will really do that to ya. Or maybe yer gettin’ all English-y just from having a kid play Euro-footy??

entropy

How’d the wife take it?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I did that in Walmart this morning.

Spur

Back to back replays, fun

King Hippo

WHAT IS A CATCH??

JustStopDude

I got my money that they will rule it was a blocked field goal attempt returned for 4 points.

Gratliff

Twitter PFT Commenter is like fucking Neo in the Matrix.
https://twitter.com/PFTCommenter/status/807035870243069952