Well lookee here! We got ourselves a great tilt between two superior teams with a history between them and a division lead in the mix. Everyone says that 2016 started going downhill right after David Bowie was shot to death in that zoo enclosure but if that is what it takes to finally get a quality matchup on a Thursday night I’m good with it. Or maybe that had nothing to do with it. Perhaps this is the NFL Scheduling Squad’s version of Susan Boyle walking on to The Gong Show’s stage. Did I just reference “The Gong Show”? I couldn’t be more embarrised. TO THE GAME!
Oak/KC-This game speaks for itself but I have to type something otherwise I won’t not get the money that isn’t owed to me. The last team to beat the Raiders? You bet it was the Las Vegas Golden Knights, er, the Chiefs. The Raiders have won 6 straight and the Chiefs are 20-4 over their last twenty-four games. As good as the Raiders have played they are vulnerable to the run game. They gifted the Bills with 212 yards on the ground and a 7.1 yards per carry average just last week. We all know how committed KFC HC Reid is to the run/short-passing game and perhaps this will be an effective antidote to the ridiculous awesomeness that is Khalil Mack. Oakland’s offensive line is rated just behind the Cowboys and since week 8 the Chiefs have averaged 3 sacks per game-SOMETHING MUST GIVE!
As always, check out the crazy goings-on at Free Ballin’ Football down below. Has Bill finally come to terms with his heterosexuality? When will Josh finally admit that the bunny slippers belong to him? Where did Tim’s toenail-clippings diorama disappear to? Will someone finally explain to Nick the difference between ‘peanuts’ and ‘penis’? For the answers to these questions and some quality jaw-wagging about NFL-related goings-on check it out.
When did Derek Carr and Alex Smith swap play styles?
The mom in this USPS has one of the worst haircuts. Almost as bad as Mark Davis
Mark Davis is the only human being on the planet who watched Dumb and Dumber and thought to himself, man, those guys have some killer hair
I’m not in my bah humbug mood yet, must be the thirrd glass of bourbon
http://116.imagebam.com/download/Pt9jSmD_oJWt-8Sn0Q9BXw/51315/513143723/1015180.gif
I love how they’re talking about the “frigid” conditions and then mention it’s 22 degrees out.
That’s a pretty balmy day for December in KC.
You wouldn’t think so from the way the Raiders receiver are dropping pass. You’d think the ball was made out of ice and also their hands were made out of ice.
Gashes gonna leak
Frigid? Fuck them, that is fucking balmy.
/currently in an abnormal 2 week cold snap up here.
This whole story by Collinsworth was complete bullshit. What an ass.
Serves you right for listening.
Its very clear. The invasion of the body snatchers has occurred, and they’ve got Alex Smith. Kill it, kill it with fire.
So does Hill’s comparison to Sayers mean Alex Smith is gonna get cancer now?
It means Sayers’s hands are gonna shrink three sizes today.
Hey guys I just got back and…
/Alex Smith throws a 40-yard TD
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=liuSbrghzmk
every last minute tweak I make OR don’t make fucks me. Exhibits A and B – left Seabass AND Hill on el bench.
That 30 yard throw seemed to be the upper limit for Smith
Wow, when the fuck did Alex Smith learn how to throw a 30+ yard pass?
Did someone dip KC’s unis in ketchup? Didnt they know how fucking dangerous that is in Real Murica? I fully expect a fat hump to try eating someone.
Andy Reid is a few steps ahead of that.
The only thing Andy Reid is ever a few steps ahead of is Death
Well played.
Thank you
Can we fast forward to the fourth quarter?
Did someone dip KC’s unis in ketchup? Dint they know how fucking dangerous that is in Real Murica? I fully expect a fat hump to try eating someone.
As a Dolphins fan, I would really appreciate it if Andy Reid does what he does best and chokes down this final stretch of games.
He’s more like to gulp them down, but I am certainly sympathetic.
So these TNF “EXTREME TO THE MAXXX” uniforms for this game….
Its like they didn’t bother changing anything for the Chiefs and somehow Nike or whatever managed to fuck up the Raiders uniforms completely.
Their shit looks like they got Liberace to design the uniforms….
http://www.missioncreep.com/mw/images/libwrings.jpg
This color rush is like an immune system–all these white cells and red cells going at it.
Watching it on Twitter, though, involves being surrounded by incels.
You ain’t got NBC?
Last time they did the twitter shit, I completely forgot they were also showing the game on NBC.
I felt like a complete ass.
We’re having winter weather madness in Portland, and NBC wasn’t showing up on the antenna (fuck having cable). I’m rescanning the channels but it takes a while, but the tower might be out or something.
Do you think David Carr gets pissed that his brother is better than he was?
I hope he calls him Abel.
I never see people dress fancy, or look happy, at my local Walmart.
“Aim High”
Also good advice for playing paintball with Mike Glennon.
Or Merton Hanks for that matter.
Al and Christ Lovingly discuss white TE travis Kelce
Officials, Penalty, 87 on KC, 5 yards
Al and chris ignore this, continue to lovingly discuss Kelce
Alex Smith in this weather is just pitiful.
So Mrs Col has shot down my idea of naming Millilitre Cola, Charcandrick, Vontaze, Latavius or Tyreek. I told her I don’t see colour but she still wont budge.
“Watch how quickly this ball comes out.”
-Me at my bachelor party
hey man, if your friends hired a thai stripper and you didn’t intervene, that’s on you.
Excellent work sir.
Anyone that desperate for Bud Light needs their liver to jump out of their mouth, slap them across the face, and demand to be killed in a more dignified fashion.
Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli:
“/steals term “non-practicing heterosexual”
On reddit they call themselves incels
So lookin like Imma gunna need the Raiders defense to save me this week. Small hands had better not learn how to throw deep like that last pass.
Founder of the Alt-Right
G’nite folks. Love you all….thusly don’t want to drag you’s down with me.
Be well, my friends.
Need to talk? Shoot me an email
Thanks man, sincerely.
But I just need to fuck off for a while.
Now that Oakland has the lead, they need to protect Carr’s owie and run wildcat the rest of the night.
Look, Daddy, Professor WCS says, every time an iPhone commercial airs, a demon claims another innocent victim!
The age of these kids in the Romeo and Juliet is pretty faithful to the ages of the characters as Shakespeare wrote it.
Andy Reid’s thinking about what he wants to eat during halftime.
I’d be surprised if he doesn’t have a body double so he can get in a snack break in between quarters tonight.
Quality push off!!!
ALEX SMITH DEEP BALL?!
Yikes, Khalil might impale Alex Smith tonight.
“Well sure, the cold can make you stiff, but Jack Tatum can make you even stiffer.”
-Darryl Stingley
Wow.
I like it when Fozz is especially mean-spirited. One knows Festivus is CLOSE.
Deep pull.
At least the Spurs are playing tonight on TNT if this game blows.
Would never have known you as a Spurs fan. – Jerome Bettis, Detroit.
Who is the deity responsible for bestowing favorable rulings on challenges? Anticarey?
YERAC! That’s it.
you could photoshop an upside down cross with Mike Carey nailed to it, I betcha
godfuckingdamnit. My coin is a lying motherfucking cunt
Seabass will make this, and I will kill myself.
If he was in the endzone is it a touchdown?
MAYBE
WHAT IS CATCH? IS CATCH THING?
NBC misses Law and Order, Seinfeld and Friends bad.
Today in traffic I called someone a stupid ass cunt.
Watching EPL will really do that to ya. Or maybe yer gettin’ all English-y just from having a kid play Euro-footy??
How’d the wife take it?
I did that in Walmart this morning.
BUT IS IT A CATCH?!?!?
http://www.technologytell.com/gadgets/files/2014/06/tumblr_m43g6aCcsA1qedmglo1_500.gif
Back to back replays, fun
WHAT IS A CATCH??
I got my money that they will rule it was a blocked field goal attempt returned for 4 points.
Twitter PFT Commenter is like fucking Neo in the Matrix.
https://twitter.com/PFTCommenter/status/807035870243069952