Your “NFC East Feast And/Or Blowout” Sunday Night Football Open Thread

I’d like to take this time to share with you some of my acquired non-football related wisdom. Are you ready? Here goes. I have moved many, many times over the years. It’s only been in the last dozen or so that I’ve been able to hire fellas to do it for me. That said, “the cheaper the moving company, the more likely said movers will have significant hygiene issues”. You’re welcome. Now… TO THE GAME!

Dal/NYG– Dallas has reached 11 straight wins due to the good fortune of qb Romo doing what he does most consistently-getting injured. Okay, maybe they lucked out in the draft. Okay, maybe they bothered to spend some money on their offensive line. Okay, maybe they’ve benefited from a weaker sked. Okay, maybe owner Jerry Jones has ceded some footballing decisions to folks that are far more qualified. Okay, for absolutely sure I’m a-feared of these damn Cowboys going forward. Honestly, Elisha has to pull a Super Bowl-winning performance out of his ass if the Giants are going to win. His play this year has been…Elisha-like to date, so I’m thinking Dallas is going to romp.

I hope that they don’t romp BUT I HOPE THAT YOU ROMP COMMENT-WISE! DO IT!

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JustStopDude

Christmas is a difficult time for me. I love egg nog and booze mixed together. I realize a lot of people hate egg nog…but for whatever reason, I think its fucking awesome.

But I am lactose intolerant. I can ignore cheeses, ice cream, milk, etc…but for the life of me, I cannot help myself when I see nog and i have to get shitfaced at least once on nog and booze…

and then I am stuck on a toilet, miserable, for hours….because I am a fucking idiot.

Unsurprised

Might I recommend a plan and Depends next time?

jjfozz

I have heard/seen so many versions of the RUSSIA-CIA story that I have decided to ignore, and learn how to make my own ammunition using the microwave.

...

If it allows several members of the incoming administration to get tried, convicted, and executed for treason, I’m all for it.

Unsurprised

SPOILER ALERT

It will not

King Hippo

There Will Be Punts

Spur

measure that shit

jjfozz

The winner of the voice is . . . all of us motherfuckers who hate seeing the goddamn teasers for this bowl of dripping shit.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Spoiler alert: The poop is runny!

Spur

needs more fiber

blackroseMD1
Spur
jjfozz

Oh boy, wifey got me a Yeti mug and GUESS HOW FUCKING MUCH COLD BOURBON IT HOLDS!

A
FUCK
TON

Doktor Zymm

I have a Cthulu mug kinda like that!

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I’ve been on a Norm MacDonald Live binge.

“One of the more popular documentaries on Netflix is ‘Jiro Dreams of Sushi’; one of the least popular: ‘Jiro Nightmares of Anal Rape’.”

Unsurprised

Norm is a goddamn global treasure

Spur

Sack on Eli..Yum

...

Just in case you were curious, Amazon’s adaptation of The Man in the High Castle begins streaming next week at just the perfect time for everyone to make Trump comparisons.

Unsurprised

Is this different from the shitty series that I gave up on in season 1, episode 2?

...

No idea, but the book is arguably bleaker. At least it implies we don’t live in the real world, though.

Unsurprised

As I understand it, the book was an examination of the experience of living under occupation but making it easier to empathize with the war’s losers by being them vs. the series which is just … stupid

...

I guess. It’s a Phillip K. Dick book so that’s too mundane of an explanation for what it’s about.

King Hippo

YOU’RE the high castle!!

Doktor Zymm

ANything worthwhile happen in the late games? The bar wasn’t getting TV signal, so I just chatted to my actuary friend and drank super expensive limited edition Bourbon County Goose Island Stout

Unsurprised

I don’t know which I am more mad about reading that: the friend or the stout.

Doktor Zymm

She’s basically me if I had gone the actuarial route. We gets along. Even though she’s an Eagles fan.

Unsurprised

There’s two of you? Fuuuuuuck

Senor Weaselo
...

Was it about $10 for a little glass? I’ve already gone through two bottles which were about $13-$14.

I also am in possession of both the coffee and special proprietor’s edition.

Doktor Zymm

$12 for a tulip

...

Sounds about right. At 14%, it’ll fuck up your shit quickly.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I watched just one game and might have gotten really drunk. My review of the afternoon games is the Packer game was boring as fuck. You missed nothing.

Doktor Zymm

The moral of this commercial : JJ Watt is as much of a dick as we all thought he was

Spur

RUN THE FUCKING BALL

Spur

Vodka tastes GREAT! +1 FUCK UPROXX for taking away my Games of Thrones good times!

Horatio Cornblower

Uproxx still has good times?

Huh

litre_cola

Havent gone back since our split.

Unsurprised

I used to consume vodka like a Russian oil worker but let’s not kid ourselves with this “tastes great” shit.

Spur

“taste great” = little to, no hangover

Unsurprised

Oh, then I agree.

Spur

I can’t see shit

The Maestro

We got ourselves another Fog Bowl, folks!!

Spur

Needs more smoke

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Or just more poisonous stuff

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I cannot believe this NFL season is one long dripping diarrhea of “which team do I hate less?” Go Titans, I think?

Unsurprised

Are you kidding. This is the apotheosis of Roger Goodell is a National Disgrace’s entire tenure as commissioner.

Spur

Just stubbed my big toe on the table leg…….Spur is angry!

Unsurprised
Spur

Dak and Zeke, warm up music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pCv7k_Hzvg

Senor Weaselo
theeWeeBabySeamus

YOU’RE NOT AS GOOD AS THIS ONE!!!!!!

Spur

Are Al and Cris sitting in front of a nuclear holocaust?

Unsurprised

I wish

Mr. Ayo

New Jersey? Yes.

Spur
Curse of Marino

To think that the Fast and Furious movies used to be about car racing.

Unsurprised

Now they’re Epic-level PCs. That’s what you get when the main star is a fucking D&D nerd

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I thought of them more as gay porn for really closested guys that would never be gay because cars.

Unsurprised
Spur

i believe it was described as a slopping wet labia

Spur

ive been drinking…..sorry.

Curse of Marino

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IICPLHDOz70

Always relevant when it comes to those movies.

Spur

Fast and are you serious?

JustStopDude

Why do Fast and the Furious movies keep getting made?

Someone PLEASE fill me in on this shit?

Spur

They do will overseas. Car culture and racially ambiguous stars are $

Unsurprised
litre_cola

Just opened a bottle of wine out of rotation as I hate both of these teams equally and my fantasy day was bullshit.

Spur

Too Fast, Too Furious, an Ezekiel Elliot Story

Unsurprised
Spur

Careful Zeke, Eli doesn’t like when he doesnt get Sugar Smacks in the morning
http://i.giphy.com/l3vRfNKgv3LkGIoM0.gif

Unsurprised

I still don’t understand why these aren’t part of the Cowboys game template since I post them EVERY FUCKING WEEK

...

Seeing Russell Wilson fail spectacularly was pretty nice even if it meant the Packers winning.

Spur

Seahawks got their shit pushed in. Rodgers hurt his ankle from thrusting so hard.

Unsurprised
Spur

Hi Cowboy haters!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Quit making idiots in my state love them and I won’t be a hater… oh they are playing the Giants tonight. Hi and Go Cowboys!

Unsurprised

FUCK YOU

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sorry, I thought you meant something else.
Carry on.

litre_cola

Reporting for duty sir.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m out for a bit. Will probably check in later.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BYGM7UR–I

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Super drunk. Going full nerd with this one

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vCKFeO3nNs

Gratliff

Well, the slow motion plane crash that is the Philadelphia Eagles continues unabated.

However, tomorrow is my first ever paid snow day and NINE IN A ROW BITCHES.
comment image

Unsurprised

There are no good guys.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Holy shit this sounds 10x better on my new speakers and I already loved this song

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-OVHnWyDmdw

WCS
Curse of Marino

Rex Ryan doesnt know he’s been fired? Oh please tell me this is Charlie Strong part deux

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Unsurprised

Unrelated, but Crimetown is a fantastic podcast.
https://gimletmedia.com/crimetown/

Unsurprised

Oh, God. Why did I eat that?

theeWeeBabySeamus

comment image

Curse of Marino

heh “tunt”

Unsurprised

I’m disappointed that they couldn’t make a better font face where a capital T looks like a C.

theeWeeBabySeamus

FIRST!!!!!!

Shogun Marcus

What is this, AV Club?
/I knew first before it was a thing
//like negative first

Unsurprised

Allow me to introduce you to Usenet.

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