I’d like to take this time to share with you some of my acquired non-football related wisdom. Are you ready? Here goes. I have moved many, many times over the years. It’s only been in the last dozen or so that I’ve been able to hire fellas to do it for me. That said, “the cheaper the moving company, the more likely said movers will have significant hygiene issues”. You’re welcome. Now… TO THE GAME!
Dal/NYG– Dallas has reached 11 straight wins due to the good fortune of qb Romo doing what he does most consistently-getting injured. Okay, maybe they lucked out in the draft. Okay, maybe they bothered to spend some money on their offensive line. Okay, maybe they’ve benefited from a weaker sked. Okay, maybe owner Jerry Jones has ceded some footballing decisions to folks that are far more qualified. Okay, for absolutely sure I’m a-feared of these damn Cowboys going forward. Honestly, Elisha has to pull a Super Bowl-winning performance out of his ass if the Giants are going to win. His play this year has been…Elisha-like to date, so I’m thinking Dallas is going to romp.
I hope that they don’t romp BUT I HOPE THAT YOU ROMP COMMENT-WISE! DO IT!
Do you think the IRS will ‘mysteriously’ repossess the Bills and turn over their management to the government, aka Trump, in January?
Why just the Bills when he can have the whole NFL?
Petty revenge
Good point. I would dream bigger, but he’s a dolt
I almost enjoy this possibility since Trump fucking up the NFL would actually be one thing that turns the red blooded middle American man against him.
My guess about how the second half will go
http://img.pandawhale.com/post-34722-heres-to-another-lousy-year-gi-0yvd.gif
Ben McAdoo is really Magary with a bouffant haircut and a BTK Killer mustache.
Gotta learn it before you can drunkenly forget it!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8Vfp48laS8
We should all get goddamned medals for sitting through this one. Yet I will be depressed when it’s over.
That white stuff on the field isn’t snow, it’s salt…from dried tears
Eli needs to play some Minecraft.
The last time I saw giants getting stomped like this, Zeus was a teenager.
Can we just fast forward to halftime? Pretty clear nothing else will happen with offense, yeah?
This game and this country make me sad. So here’s my current favorite two employees of the new head of the Small Business Administration to make me feel better:
http://wrestlinglol.com/images/37a1d339fa97009bb8e39b7cd4b337d1.gif
Qualified for sure.
Hey, aren’t they Canadian? Where’s that damn wall?!
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/09/24/06/2CB3E8DC00000578-3247124-image-m-53_1443073996666.jpg
That’s a-comin’
Also, I like that I can now post wrestling gifs under the guise of political commentary.
http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j184/migueljapan/Wrestler_kicks_girl.gif
Alejandro Villanueva’s son may as well just take up ballet because when you’re Dad is a US Army Ranger and O-lineman for the Steelers you have no goddamn chance at surpassing him
Suffice it to say my kids aren’t going to have that problem. If they can take a splinter out of their toe without shrieking like a gay banshee they’ll be miles ahead.
If you’re a gay banshee, you’re not taking things out of your toe.
I did baseball, hockey, and wrestling in high school and did six years in the military.
The absolute most physically and demanding thing I ever did in my life was ballet from the age of 10 to 15. I had to stop because I developed a condition basically the same as turf toe, where I could no longer walk on my toes because I kept popping them out on my right foot.
I’ll thank you to keep your “facts” out of my stupid jokes sir.
derp…suppose to have said “…physically and mentally demanding…”
I had to take up ballet to gain strength in my legs once i had corrective surgery on my spine and could walk again.
Not to get all political but
https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/517045156826988544
Yep.
I genuinely hope he dies.
The link is pretty good:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/fact-checker/post/the-bogus-claim-that-obama-skips-his-intelligence-briefings/2012/09/22/100cb63e-04fc-11e2-8102-ebee9c66e190_blog.html?utm_term=.6c2e04980b80#
Hooray for accidental kicking tackle!
http://68.media.tumblr.com/13837a564ce2e708a957afbd289e1229/tumblr_of1qqfzMfx1r4dip7o1_1280.jpg
You don’t Twitter war with Travis Bickle
Dax holding the ball way too long
There’s ANOTHER god damn Underworld movie?
Eli Manning kills more drives than a DUI Checkpoint.
Christ, you’ve won Commentist of the Month and it’s only December 11th. Give the rest of us a chance tonight!!
(No seriously, I’m fucking busting a gut here, keep up the great work.)
How will the Giants offense fuck this next possession up?
Buddy Cole’s Halftime Show has been on fire all night. One might even say flaming
/Sees himself out
Fucking brilliant heads up play by Free, but its going to be overturned.
Cowboy slurping hasn’t been this intense since Brokeback Mountain.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/6edd2e62075edf7776000e4dfb8b2799/tumblr_of1zf95Wx11r4dip7o1_1280.jpg
ah wish ah could quit yeeeeeewwww
A new challenger has entered the ring to challenge Buddy Cole’s Halftime Show. Let’s see what happens.
Jack Twist preyed on Ennis’s love.
I have a metaphor for this game but hell, I seem to have fumbled it away in my memory.
Jesus Christ. Can you share whatever PEDs you took?
Fatass is way too skinny and it is an insult to every good and decent person who has ever actually given a blowjob, but on the other hand this is a masterpiece that should be enshrined in the Louvre where the Mona Lisa is
Oh Olivier Vernon flagged for a dumb penalty? THAT NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE
/s
So I read an article in Rolling Stone about how the Ravens could be a surprise dark horse team and reach the Super Bowl.
It’s nice to see that the publication’s time honored tradition of having their writers take heavy drugs is still being upheld.
But would it be an ELITE dark horse?
At least they’ve moved one from the “just make some shit up and hope we don’t get sued” approach.
Eli is like an autistic child in that I really don’t make good similes and autistic children have some level of being a savant.
Am glad the Giants passed on Tunsil because he smoked weed.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/0742491f8c3089b06b0bf3b9091d3ff2/tumblr_oga9x0cwBu1r4dip7o1_1280.jpg
Fuck yeah! I should get my hair cut like that and stand next to dudes with crazy eyes while flicking off the camera. You live it girl!
So … DFOCon 2017?
Eli just wants to watch Rouge One and go to sleep.
About two minutes after Flowers got on the field.
This opioid based constipation commercial is hilarious. SO MUCH IMPLIED POOPING.
Mrs Cola just told me a story after that commercial where her older co worker talked all day about pooping.
Did she use the term ‘verbal diarrhea’?
Hey, you all hopped up on drugs? I’ve got another one for you!
Funny, that same saying is why I find Chargers game previews so funny.
i love the guy who walks out of the bathroom smirking and adjusting his pants like “I just WRECKED that bathroom; God help the next poor bastard who has to use it.”
I interpreted it more as “my mommy said I was a good boy for going boom-boom in the toilet!”
Holyfuck when did Dallas get a pass rush?
http://thumbnails115.imagebam.com/50873/1d0288508721635.jpg
We’ve replaced the Giants’ offensive lines with a set of turnstiles; let’s see if anyone notices.
Thank you Eli…Part Duex
I think my wife might drive to New Jersey to beat Flowers with a tire iron after that sack
I don’t think NY remembered to bring their OL
Jesus, thank god for this Yeti cup and the bourbon. What an assfuck of a game.
I tell you what you haven’t lived until you have a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader sit on your face, and you won’t live if Tyron Smith sits on your face.
Goddammit, Buddy, you already have one banner comment tonight.
You know, I think the public would have a much better view of the head injury issue in the NFL if they started calling it a PROcussion.
Maybe a libcussion, so their key demographic gets passionate about getting it out of the game.
Every recent commercial makes me want to not shop at their store, buy their product or watch their show/movie
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8gmARGvPlI
I haven’t seen someone this closeted since my grandmother with dementia got lost at Macy’s.
I am sorry. You seem like a nice guy. But now you must die a horrifyingly painful death.
Cowboys are playing poorly on offense
http://www.lolzhumor.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Funny_Pictures_he-forgot-how-to-hamster_15831.gif
WWWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
‘For the next 4 years, we are not talking about Trump. Because I love you and I don’t want to wind up hating you.’
Said to my wife today at the breakfast table.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/b8e119c1046c716100e0c7c20143e862/tumblr_ogjsfdT5fW1r4dip7o1_400.jpg
Don’t tell the GOP but the “Flesh of Christ” crayon is the old ‘Indian Brown’
She was so brainwashed by her parents on this topic that I’ve realized that we can’t have a conversation about anything political.
But she had nice boobs, so what can I do?
Kill her and taxidermy the body
http://www.azquotes.com/picture-quotes/quote-most-people-have-no-idea-how-good-their-body-is-designed-to-feel-kevin-trudeau-75-89-78.jpg
That’s a man who’s never watched Middle School Confessions.
Ben McAdoo has the face of a pedophile, the hair of a murderer, and the offense that drives people to both.
I can’t help but think “ew gross chin pubes but not quite” every time I look at him, and it isn’t pleasing
We have our banner comment, folks.
I feel like if bad football makes you want to fuck children, you’re probably not watching it correctly.
“That’s what you think.” -Sandusky
http://dudelol.com/img/joke-went-over-your-head.gif
What is “40% of the humor here to 50% of society?”
You don’t even have to leave.
How great would it be if there was a team with two OLBs named Ramone so they could blitz together….
odds are they wouldn’t get along though. COuld be locker room issues…
I hope if that ever happened that their DC would rename all jam plays to “bops” instead.
They’d need one tall guy who did nothing but stand in the middle yelling at them.
Feed Zeke!
Glass shards and swarf!
See this is why the Democrats lost the election! And by ‘Democrats’ I mean me, and by ‘the election’ I mean ‘my wallet’.
I am a goddamned mess.
AMERICA is a mess!!
Hasnt been the same since horse with no name imo