A Primer For Newly-Orphaned Chargers Fans

The San Diego Chargers have returned home, to their original home of Los Angeles.  (Is that how I do it, LA Rams fans?)  Regardless of whether you’re a fan of the Chargers or a normal person, this news can’t be surprising.  San Diego smartly refused to hand Dean Spanos hundreds of millions of dollars for a new stadium, so off they went to be the bottom bitch to Stan Kroenke.

As someone who rooted for the Rams before they decided to bolt for the smoggier pastures of Los Angeles, I have a bit of a unique perspective to help you fight your way through the feelings of betrayal and anger that accompany watching a franchise leave your perfectly functional stadium just because they felt like it.

In fact, I’ve done this dance TWICE, as I also went through the flight West of the St. Louis Cardinals when I was a kid.

So, here we go.

If you choose to soldier on and keep rooting for the Chargers, I have no advice for you.  You’re a more forgiving sort than I am, and lots of folks here will tell you that I’m a very forgiving guy, but I don’t truck with betrayal.  So, there’s no guide here for remaining with your team.

You have a few choices to start off. Do you want to keep rooting for the team that you have all of the gear for, yet stabbed you in your fancy parts?  Or do you want to join on with a new team?

Obviously, nobody wants to stay with the Chargers.  Fuck those pricks.  They pulled up stakes and bolted.  I don’t want to tell you your business, but continuing to support them is like paying alimony to someone who cheated on you and left you.  You can be that pathetic sad sack, or you can pick another team and move the fuck on.

Once you have made the proper decision to tell the Chargers to eat a flaming Trump dick, we can get started.  Have you moved on mentally yet?  PROBABLY NOT.

That’s OK.  Keep them in your head.  Root hard as hell against them.  Everything that goes wrong should feed your hate.  I enjoyed every bit of the Rams’ abject failure in LA.  I bathed in it.  A year is plenty, though.  Now I just don’t care, and can just laugh along with everyone else at the crass incompetence of Kevin Demoff and Kanye Kroenke. (I took away his St. Louis names of Enos and Stan when he told us to fuck off.)

The next step is to determine if you are going to root for another team.  You’re a free agent now, so go nuts.  The other assholes around here will try to sell you on their teams.  Don’t set up a poll for who to vote for, because you will end up with the Browns, because people here are awful.  So pick your own team.  Do you have a player that you love, but he plays for a team you hated?  GOOD NEWS!  You can be a fan of his now, and fuck anyone who tells you different.  If you have been harboring a secret love for Derek Carr or Von Miller or Eric Berry, you can feel free to let that fly.

You don’t have to pick a team, but I recommend it.  I did not, even though you guys picked a tie between Buffalo and Cleveland in my poll, which, FUCK ME, but I never really gravitated to a team.  This was a big mistake.  I ended up rooting for my fantasy players and not caring about who won or lost any game all year, and it really changed my appreciation for the week to week happenings in the NFL.

That’s my real advice.  Sit down and pick a new team that aligns with your interests and, in an ideal world, will murder the Chargers every year.

I let my love for the league atrophy through the year, and it never really came back.  Now, I don’t have the passion for fantasy football or Madden or anything NFL related and will be moving on from those pursuits next year.

I’ll still run this place, of course, because I love you guys.  If this site generated a penny for the NFL, I’d reconsider, but that’s not the case (it doesn’t generate a penny for me, let alone those greedy shitweasels) so I will be here, screaming into the void at the incompetent, greedy heads of the NFL.