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Your “How Many Colours Can I Produce?” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

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Jesus Tapdancing Christ – first the fever, then the back pain, and now the popping Imodium like Tic-Tacs. If my wife hadn’t had it first, I know what her perscription would be:

NFL News:

  • Now that the Cowboys season is done – reminder: HAHAHAHAHAH…..LOLOLOLOLOL!!!! – the “number one priority” is trading Tony Romo.
    • Speculation is up to 6 teams, 3 in both the NFC & AFC.
      • Realistically, he’s not giving Romo to an NFC team they’d conceivably play in the next two years.
  • Sorry if this is late to some; I just saw it today:

https://twitter.com/xmasape/status/820797274343309314

  • Mike Tomlin is, as expected, some pissed about Antonio Brown’s Facebook:

It was foolish of him to do that. It was selfish for him to do that. And it was inconsiderate for him to do that.

[h]e’s respected largely in the locker room for those things, but incidents such as this don’t help him in that regard. {snip} It’s a global thing in regard to professional sport. I think that’s often times why you see great players move around from team to team.

He has to address these things that put him and us in position from time to time in settings such as this that need to be addressed.

  • In other Steelers news, Martavis Bryant has applied for reinstatement.
    • He is currently serving a one-year suspension “for multiple violations of the league’s policy against substances of abuse”.
  • The Assassination of Tom Brady by the Coward Roger Goodell will have to wait at least one more game, because His Heinous has decided to take in the Packers-Falcons tilt on Sunday.
    • Which is a shame, because then Mike Tomlin could talk to him about the sketchy radio reception in person.

Finally, a few sites have a great mini-story about Marshawn Lynch riding a Skittles bike around Paisley, Scotland. They only have it because some local NFL fan recognized him and took video.

According to The Sun, he was filming at a shop called Houston Kiltmakers, probably as a tie-in to the Super Bowl location, and most likely a pre-game bit since I can’t picture Skittles dropping $3 million on an ad unless he was playing.

As usual, he was playful until he realized the cameras were on. “He wasn’t too happy with people filming him, though.” I bet it beat watching Seattle get drubbed in Atlanta.

Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Stars at Rangers – 7:00 | Sportsnet
    • Blackhawks at Avalanche – 9:00PM | NBCSN
    • Lightning at Ducks – 10:00 | Sportsnet
  • NBA: Raptors at Nets – 7:30 | TSN
  • so much college basketball; given DFO’s fanbases:
    • Pittsburgh at North Carolina State – 7:00PM | ESPNU
    • Michigan at Wisconsin – 9:00PM | ESPN
  • Australian Open: Second-round play – 9:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN2

I’m going back to bed. ENJOY YOUR EVENING!

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Mr. Ayo

Aaah, the Australian Open. Your annual reminder that Chris McKendry is still oddly attractive.

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Mr. Ayo

I don’t get it

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Mr. Ayo

I don’t get this either. Animal Jam?

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WCS

Lil’ WCS just had her third poopy diaper in the last five or so hours. I couldn’t be more proud.

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Coincidence? ME TOO!!!!!!!!!

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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Quality bowel action. LOFTY bowel action.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Finally have my phone working. Buenas noches, bandejos.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

OK, really gotta go purge the DVR now.
Nighters.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16-N9oVKhTg

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Damn…cut/paste is screwed up again for me. Let’s try again….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGX5AcxwQqE

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

So that’s what you’re calling it now?

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theeWeeBabySeamus

You shush.

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Senor Weaselo

Purge the DVR, you say?
https://twitter.com/geofftherobot/status/107634072012066816

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Verizon update: customer service live chat agent stopped answering my questions. Phone has accepted transfer of data/apps but does not work as a phone. Going on 43 minutes.

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Senor Weaselo

Have they asked if you’ve tried turning it off and back on again?

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

HA

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

You know, the lyrics for Santeria go surprisingly well when updated to talk about the Chargers move.

They won’t come back to San Diego,
But I’ve got a crystal ball.
Spanos has a billion dollars but he’ll,
he’ll lose it all.
If I could find that Stan-a
And that Spanos that he’s found.
I’d pop a cap in Spanos
and I’d beat him down.

I suddenly very wish that I had some singing talent.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Tell Spanitos that if he knows what is good for him, he best run to L.A.
Boltman’s got a hankerin’ to flay…

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ok, who jinxed it? I just got logged out for the first time in over a week.

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Fronkenshteen

Tomlin quote translation:” I also hate when he twerks and humps goalposts. “

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Senor Weaselo

Other Tomlin quote translation: “It’s a good thing I saw him or else I would have talked about how Grumblelord is the scourge of the earth and Tom Brady deserves to be beaten like a rented red-headed step-mule.”

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WCS

How do iPhone commercials manage to get worse?

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The Apple Corporation is in a death spiral. They have pretty much infinite money, so it’s going to take a long, long time, but it’s happening.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

If anyone needs me, I’ll be arguing with verizon for the next 1 to 100 minutes.

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Gratliff

Taking the over

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ballsofsteelandfury

So, is it only me or are we done with the math problems to log in?

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WCS

I don’t mind the mathiness as much as I loathe the random sign-outs without warning.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I still get it every few days.
Clear my history and logins, and I’m good for another few days.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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...

Ass cleavage!

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Wakezilla

I watched John Wick last night and thought it was pretty awesome. I also watched Wanted, which wasn’t bad. I fell asleep watching it, so the ending was kind of weird and felt rushed together. If you haven’t already, definitely watch John Wick

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I love that when the bad guys go down in John Wick, they stay down*.

*because John Wick has shot them multiple times in the head immediately after they went down.

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Shogun Marcus

The original comic of Wanted was much better. Hollywood did their usual cropdusting on it. It made sense at least.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We’re watching a show called “Goodbye Mr. Black.” Surprisingly, it’s not a documentary about the day of final roster cuts for the Philadelphia Eagles in 2015.

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Gratliff

According to my TV Guide, it’s on Fox News at noon on Friday.

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Wakezilla

I just had a meeting with a parent who is complaining that I give their kid too much homework. Nothing like having to explain to the parent, who signed their kid up for this, mind you, that the class is intensive and I have to cover 8 periods/600+ years of history in 12 weeks.

Then the parent complained that I give their kid too many writing assignments. In class hour #2 (of 3), I give them an essay based on the period we’re studying, that has appeared on a final exam before. This is marked and they get it back in hour 3. Then they get another essay question/ short answer based on the period we just studied for homework. Again, this is from a previous final exam.

Essentially, they’re upset that I’m over preparing their kid for their essay question, worth 40% of their final…

Oh, and this is the first time I heard of this kid struggling or having any problems. Unbelievable.

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blaxabbath

Give up on the student.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

If it’s a hot female student, I would like to volunteer my services for tutoring.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Age check?

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...

The student seems fine.

It’s also interesting to me how even in the 20 or so years since I was in school how teachers seem to not longer have much in the way of authority with parents. If there’s a disagreement between student and teacher, it seems as if now the teacher is assumed to be wrong. I know that wasn’t the case when I was a student.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah, my parents almost NEVER took my side – they always assumed (rightly) that I was being an obnoxious little shit.

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Gratliff

I typically believe the teachers. I’ve actually been thanked for doing something about what they were telling me. Apparently, it’s a rare thing to find a parent who doesn’t want their kid to be an entitled little shit.

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...

Modern parenting is just odd. Parents are paranoid as hell and seem to have lost grasp the primary role of parenting to ensure a developing human is prepared for adulthood and its implied self-sufficiency.

I’ll laugh at these shitheads who end up with 30-somethings who can’t hold down jobs and can’t figure out why.

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blaxabbath

I know ol’ John would take any excuse to bring out the belt on young blax.

BUT LOOK AT HOW WELL I TURNED OUT?!

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Time to go get teh DVR cleared. And also, Vodka.
Night fellers….
http://24.media.tumblr.com/53f079a5c526cfe021349136b2df73fb/tumblr_mnua4437PM1r3yexao1_500.gif

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Fun fact: Balls’ “Slutty Saturday” underwear review is the most-viewed post in the site’s history.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

He needs to do a re-re-review.
Just sayin.

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litre_cola

I do not recall that one, and I am here every day. Hmmmm.

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ballsofsteelandfury

I’m…flattered. Wow!

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Put you panties on and shut up.
– said no guy ever

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Big Black Richard

I’m finding a lot of family and friends in the Black community are oddly fatalistic about the upcoming fascism. Along the lines of, “Meh, it’s gonna suck, but we’ve been treated worse. It’s not like White America was ever going to consider us as equals anyway. Having the vote and having a Black president hasn’t caused the police to treat us any better or caused employment discrimination to fall. The school to prison pipeline is still as strong as ever. We’ll lose our health insurance, but the emergency rooms will still take us.” Etc.

My only response has been, “You’re right, but still go fuck yourself.”

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Unsurprised

Of all the places to live under the boot heel of fascism, Portland’s a prime choice.

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blaxabbath

Seems like the left’s response to Trump

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The Harry Potter comparisons are the ones that drive me bonkers. They might as well just crawl into a corner grasping a blankie weeping.

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Unsurprised

I’d say more like this:

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blaxabbath

“23.3% of Florida’s voting age black population are barred from voting due to a felony conviction”

So many systemic failures at every level. To date, I think the US has simply survived on account of a major case of Mr Burns’ Three Stooges Syndrome.

https://youtu.be/aI0euMFAWF8

I don’t hold out hope for the next generation but I think we’ll know in 2024. It’ll be adequate time for many boomers to die off and more first-gen voters to come of age. It’ll also tell us if ‘millenials’ have been adequately dissuaded by the right to give up on politics altogether.

It’s unfathomable to me (middle class, educated, comfortable white male who provides gifs of pro athletes getting in the head) that the black vote chose to not turn out for Hillary — of course, the whole prison pipeline thing doesn’t help (see above).

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...

But hey, look on the bright side: They are plenty of woke white folks who say they’re on the side of black people as long as you don’t suggest in any way they’re like all those other white folks because they get it and why don’t you recognize that and treat them differently instead of being so angry because they want to have a REAL conversation about racism and this judgmental tone doesn’t do anyone any favors.

*The general tone of an actual online conversation I read earlier today in which a white person stomped away angry over the idea of white fragility.

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Gratliff

I photo shopped a safety pin onto a picture of Moe from the Simpsons. So at least I know I’ve done everything I can do for equal rights.

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blaxabbath

non-DFO online conversations are bad.

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...

Well, this one was good if you appreciate someone claiming to understand the content of an article but then in post after post demonstrate they not only do they not understand it but they are making the very point they insist they’re refuting.

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Unsurprised

I’m also a giant pussy when I’m sick. However, I just had some tomato soup and it was oddly satisfying and soothing.

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Beerguyrob

I made pizza. It was filling and delicious.

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Unsurprised

Oh, man. Pizza sounds great.

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blaxabbath

Now, THAT’s how you just care about yourself!

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Unsurprised

I should’ve budgeted better. I’m going to have to get one tomorrow.

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blaxabbath

“Tomorrow???

NO MORE CHARITY!”

-lil Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

Big Unsurprised is tapped out until 7am

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blaxabbath

“I bet it beat watching Seattle get drubbed in Atlanta.”

And why did SEA have to go to ATL again?

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Can’t go 0-1-1 against a conference opponent unless you’re the Rams, 49ers, or Cardinals.

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Unsurprised

Damn sexy

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Beerguyrob

I know there is another “Resident Evil” movie. I don’t know “why” there is another “Resident Evil” movie.

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Unsurprised

They’re oddly profitable worldwide.

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blaxabbath

How much other cultures are interested in US crap is beyond me. I mean, I understand being into Yoga or whatever other cultures have (I personally LOVE ethnic food) because there is some appreciation for the history of many cultures.

But, like wearing a big fucking Levi’s or Champion logo on your shirt? Or US films — such as Resident Evil — I mean, can’t the medicine man tell you something more interesting around the fire some night while y’all are waiting for the sacrifice?

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Unsurprised

It’s like how Tommy Wiseau apparently made a fortune. He has/had a building on the pier and foreign tourists would buy stacks of Levi’s even though the Levi’s outlet store is like two blocks away.

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ballsofsteelandfury

There’s your answer:

http://movies.mxdwn.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/Milla-Jovovich.jpg

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Beerguyrob

Hmm…

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Shogun Marcus

Leeloo Dallas multipass.
Au…to…washhhh?

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

But enough about the 2020 census report for 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

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Brocky

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You spelled “dangerous” wrong.

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blaxabbath

What the fuck could the author of the book “Perspective” have so much to talk about?

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Curse of Marino

The Miami Heat are playing suprisingly untanky right now for a team thats clearly tanking.

http://media2.giphy.com/media/r3rRoJ7Duv8DC/giphy.gif

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Hi fuckers.
NC State Basketball gets the win. The apocalypse hath begun.

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Senor Weaselo

Who wants to go Skittle biking with Marshawn? *raises hand*

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I dunno what that is but I will.

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ballsofsteelandfury

To be fair, the Scots were probably surprised they saw a black man and wanted to document it.

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litre_cola

My 1st wedding (since divorced) was in Edinburgh and I rented a kilt (Scottish by heritage) from a very large black woman with the thickest Glaswegian accent. She was 5th generation, was a fucking beauty, took her for pints after the fitting. The drunker she got the less we understood.

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Curse of Marino

Part of me wants Obama to feed Bo and and Sunny some laxatives and just leave them in the oval office for an hour or so.

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Brocky

Obama to feed Bo, Sunny, and Biden some laxatives and just leave them in the oval office for an hour or so.

FTFY

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

:fart noise:

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King Hippo

Fortunately, I get mad watching State/Pitt rather than the inner workings of our First Reich. Obama has two MOAR days to troll them with pardons/clemencies, at least. Pelletier, PLEASE.

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herodotus450

He should preemptively pardon trump for any future presidential crimes. Then trump will be so mad he’ll follow the letter of the law just to shove it in obama’s face.

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King Hippo

or pardon the whole Duck Dynasty crew for necro-beastiality

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herodotus450

Hmm, be right back…

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Curse of Marino

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Doxie Tuesday? Doxie Tuesday.

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Gratliff

This fucking DeVos hearing right now.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNLPGCCUfnY

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I just read that she’s Erik Prince’s (founder of Blackwater) sister. They should really study this family to see if they can isolate the gene marker for “evil”.

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...

If you ever go to Grand Rapids, Michigan, you’ll notice the stretch of the DeVos family on everything. It’s a weird town that’s actually still worth visiting.

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blaxabbath

“Pass. I prefer elegant streams, not Grand Rapids.

That’s you get accidentally pooped on.”

– Donald Trump

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Curse of Marino

She said she wants to use the public school system to “build God’s kingdom”

So whats the difference between extreme Christianity and extreme Islam again? Because I’m starting to notice a horse shoe pattern.

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...

The Christian Right hates that form of Islam because it recognizes its direct competition.

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Brocky

notice a horse shoe pattern.

that reminds me.

fuck Tony Dungy

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

DRAIN* THE SWAMP!

*fill with right wing billionaires dedicated to fucking over regular people

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Unsurprised

I’m okay with this. The regular people are idiots and they can go fuck themselves.

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King Hippo

this is the Amway AND charter school/voucher scam lady.

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Gratliff

Yessssssssssssssss. /rages

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...

Ah yes. “School choice.” For when you want a good education for your owns but couldn’t give a fuck about anyone else’s.

Also possible racism.

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Gratliff

She can’t be racist. There’s 2 black kids and one latina strategically positioned behind her.

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...

I can’t recall where I heard school choice is the out for people who officially support school integration but not if it involves their kid, butI remember thinking it was one hot take.

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Gratliff

It’s possible, but I think it’s more “Government is bad, money is good. Gimmegimmegimmegimmegimme”

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...

Why not both?

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m not sure whether turning her back towards them is symbolic of her disinterest towards the poorer classes or a demonstration of her bravery in that she didn’t insist on two inches of bulletproof glass to be installed between.

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