Your “I Waited All Season For This?” Super Bowl and Related Entertainment Shenanigans Open Thread

As Barry Manilow would caterwaul, “Looks like we made it” to our second Super Bowl as a bunch of kid-like creatures that exist under the DFO banner. Well done everyone! [waits for ecstatic applause to die down] It just goes to show you what can be done with a wee bit of moxie, three cadavers, an empty garage, a government research grant, one teaspoon of wasabi, a pair of cargo shorts from Eddie Bauer, the letter “R”, (“G” can suck it-look at us now buddy, maybe you’ll actually answer your emails in the future) a few bottles of Zantac (150-the extra strength kind), the love of a bi-polar woman, superior gas mileage and some second-hand pot smoke. We’re unbelievably lucky because if you were to combine all these things together at any other point in time you’d not only not get this particular result, you’d more than likely get arrested. I thank God every day that there was no God to interfere with the extraordinarily delicate process that brought this whole thing to fruition. TO THE GAME!

In your daily wanderings across the internubs you may have gleaned that the Falcons of Atlanta are dueling the Patriots of the New England. Based on my long history of watching football I know that each and every member of both teams are going to try their very best to win the game because there is a financial bonus attached to doing so. For some it might be 10k, for others it may be 5 mil-whatever the amount, all participants (including coaches) regard this as “free money” and will do their utmost to have that money dumped into their bank account. Some will secretly record practices, others will intentionally deflate footballs. It’s more than likely that a certain unnamed squad is violating the spirit of a specific rule as I type. I’ve always felt that you are the sum of your actions and not what your guttural one- and two- and three-word responses in press conferences imply.

Okay. Now you know who I’m cheering for. Big whoop. Now it’s time for you folks to chime in. Tell us goobers what you’re up to. What are you cooking? Where are you watching the game? Hey lurker, say hello and let us know that you like what we’re doing and how we might make things better. We’re all ears-except for me, I’m all coccyx. Yeah, that’s right-I’ve got a big coccyx. If you lurk and have a medical degree…please, this condition is not pleasant AT ALL.

Enjoy the game people.

 

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WCS

O/U on when Buck first announces the Pepsi Halftime Show is “coming up.”

14:58 left in the first quarter. Whatcha got?

Senor Weaselo

Before kickoff.

Spur

You know what would make this game better today, if the Cowboys were playing.
-sign-

Always next year.

...

Christ. I’d have had a rage stroke if that had happened.

Romonobyl

Admit it, a sick part inside of you secretly desires such an event. Face your fears Ponyboy.

herodotus450
...

I think the whole thing about Brady and the MAGA cap thing is that Brady thought he was so immune to any criticism that he could do whatever the fuck he wanted and people would still line up to tickle his frenulum with their tonsils.

No shithead. Some of us in the world aren’t completely insulated from the impact of this president and you flaunting that is deeply insulting to millions.

GODDAMN IT I CAN’T STOP HATING BRADY.

/gets more beer

Spur

Yes, wounded veterans from a pointless war. Yay America!

WCS

What the fuck is this jingoistic horseballs?

THE NFL LOVES THE TROOPS YOU GUYS

Sharkbait

Paid for by all of us.

...

Gotta soften everyone up for impending war with Iran.

Senor Weaselo

Iran, Mexico, Australia, Vatican City…

Spur

Life, liberty, and Vic Beasley wrecking shit.

ballsofsteelandfury
theeWeeBabySeamus

comment image

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What makes it better is that the guy he’s saying this to is Apu, and Moe, and Chief Wiggum.

...

I remember at the end of Urlacher’s career when he ran like his was wearing sandbags the Bears gave him a one-year deal for $2 million and he was incredibly offended and refused to take it thinking someone else would give him a better deal.

Then, no one gave him shit and I laughed and he disappeared for a few years until someone paid him a bunch of money to get fucking hairplugs.

Spur

What does the constitution have to do with pregame?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Almost game time. Time to get ready.
http://i.giphy.com/DR4CLrkvUWNVu.gif

...

The final little jiggle gets me every time.

...

I genuinely hope Tom Brady loses his fortune by buying into some Madoff-esque pyramid scheme.

Actually, I’d rather he be implicated in some ghastly crime.

I really hate Tom Brady.

Senor Weaselo

Or both.

Spur

I heard today has a nice chance of Patriots Schadenfreude

Senor Weaselo

Don’t jinx it!

ballsofsteelandfury

Another wonderful website I just discovered:

http://lacoladetuprima.tumblr.com/

Spur

Folks

theeWeeBabySeamus
theeWeeBabySeamus

crap….imgur….I’ll find a replacemtent……
There ya go….
http://mrwgifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/Rachel-Bilson-Dancing-In-Her-Bra-In-The-To-Do-List.gif

...

Hey Urlacher, nice hair. I hope your son is being raised as a pussy.

ballsofsteelandfury

I don’t think you have to hope. It’s pretty much a certainty.

Speaking of,

http://31.media.tumblr.com/a34e310601daed603b52d0bae4c40452/tumblr_mzj65l1BeT1t90yqgo1_400.gif

...

I appreciate your attempts to sedate me with some sweet, sweet can, but I’m still going to rage a bit if it pleases y’all.

herodotus450

So when does this shitshow start? And when does it actually start? The bottom line is, how many more 9 minute porn preview clips can I watch?

ballsofsteelandfury

9 minutes?!? What are you some kind of marathon man?!?!

herodotus450

How will I know what site to patronize if I don’t sample as many wares as possible?

...

God, the diefication of Tom Brady is honestly such an example of America’s fucked up values.

He hasn’t overcome ANYTHING. The accident of birth gave him all of the shit society values irrationally: whiteness, maleness, attractiveness, athleticism. He’s been gifted a great position in life and people line up to suck him off not because of accomplishments but because of his inherent social status. Yet, we’ll hear about how utterly special he is even though it’s pretty obvious he’s bent the fucking rules to be as good as he has.

Fuck everyone who treats him as a hero.

/yes, I’ve been drinking

...
ballsofsteelandfury

And that pretty much sums up AMERIKA.

Meanwhile, in France…

http://31.media.tumblr.com/cfa31ab1cdccc6929d4cf19a80eea603/tumblr_mvqw67Ik0a1rt87tao1_500.gif

theeWeeBabySeamus

I can see her conduit.
😉

ballsofsteelandfury

I do love the website title on the lower left too.

...

Also: Brady is about as big of a dullard as they come and I’ve enjoyed every moment of seeing him get pissy as reporters ask him about Donald Trump.

And then he’ll flash that smile of his and talk about being “positive” without realizing he’s spitting on every person who actually struggles in the world.

Fuck Tom Brady. Fuck him forever and ever.

ballsofsteelandfury

IT’S ACTUALLY A WEBSITE!!

http://nationassgifgraphics.com/

ballsofsteelandfury

I think we know where today’s #content from Balls is coming from…

Phrasing

http://24.media.tumblr.com/c7dd6ef2184f40480803c7a1c69505a9/tumblr_mtrl9mymtB1rt87tao1_500.gif

Old School Zero

MST3K marathon on one of the subchannels (Comet… like a good low-rent Syfy). EEGAH. Best pre-game show on.

Senor Weaselo

You know what they wanted in the conference championships…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0iqLhdInGrk

theeWeeBabySeamus

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...

MOVE IT BITCH I HAVE A TRAIN TO CATCH

– Every New Yorker

Senor Weaselo

This is correct.

ballsofsteelandfury

I don’t know what I like better: The gif action itself or the title on the upper left.

...

What’s worse than casual interest in the Super Bowl are people who claim they’re not interested but won’t shut the fuck about how not interested they are.

...

“Looks like there’s a big SPORTSBALL game today. Please pay attention to me, I’m being topical.”

Romonobyl

And I can’t wait for the funny commercials and the halftime show. I heard it might be controversial or something!

...

SPORTSBALL SPORTSBALL SPORTBALLS SPROTBALL

Romonobyl

A pot of my best white boy Carne Guisada is simmering away, beans and rice are coming up. Beer is also iced up and ready to become clear pee. I really have no emotions concerning Atlanta, but I certainly do about the P*ts. With that in mind…
GO RAPTOR BIRDIES!!!!!!

Don T

The Patriots are Trump’s team. This is a test of national character. A New England win could turn the tide.
Point IS: Go Falcons. May the Dreamboat hate flow free.
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Senor Weaselo

Patron of Patriots Schadenfreude!

ballsofsteelandfury

So, at what point do we give up and start posting pictures of women?

Senor Weaselo

First P*ts TD and/or once the lead reaches double digits in either direction.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ummmmmmm…..
/looks at watch
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Shogun Marcus

For lovers of hot sauces or those looking to test these waters, I recommend
http://mbf-sauces-llc.myshopify.com/collections/all

They run a whole range, not just murderdeathkill.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ve got the sound turned down and am barely paying attention. Is that Howie’s wife?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ummmmm….no.
Never mind, the moment has passed.

theeWeeBabySeamus

What time is it?
Oh shit…plenty of time for some music.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2fTAQ_bKuU

Romonobyl

GUYSGUYSGUYSGUYS!!!!!!!!!!!
Curling is on NBC Sports. CURLING I SAID!!!!!!!!!

Romonobyl

Professional badminton scares the fuck outta me. You could get seriously hurt, ppl forget that.

CBQUE

Brothers & Sisters hello. Checking in on the defacto orphans of KSK. Having our annual party at Casa de CBQUE. I wish you all the best today as we are at the long end of the worst season I can ever remember. Enjoy the game, god bless and fuck The Pats and Donald Trump. Take care.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

CBQUE: An Orangeman who hates the orange man.

Romonobyl

KS……K?

Old School Zero

Why, I haven’t heard that name since before The Dark Times. Seems to me I reckon I was there, but all that’s been washed away like a sandcastle in a tsunami. Yessir, I was there, as much as that counts, with an onion tied to my belt and my best curses on my lips. What days we had, yessir. /wipes a tear away with a torn KotW certificate

Sharkbait

Posting up at a bar. Commence the drinking!

*raises glass to The Maestro*

Go Pats!

*ducks

Senor Weaselo
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

As some red meat for the homosexual population, they are having Lady Gaga perform the halftime show.

As some red meat for women, the NFL will say “abuse is bad” then cut to Ray Lewis wearing his Atlanta best.

As some red meat for Buddy, the players will wear lycra pants with their cocks pressed against their thighs like an East German female shot putter.

I will be out at a party, be well DFOers.

Senor Weaselo

We’re taking it easy, nowhere to go, no one to invite, and we couldn’t find fresh wings so I wasn’t on marinade (read: pouring a shit-ton of Italian dressing with a few drops of the solidified remnants of CaJohn’s Trinidad Scorpion Puree because I shouldn’t accidentally kill my family) duty. Spent the morning not watching a class at my grad school’s prep program because they don’t start until next week so I got coffee with my friend because she plonks out chords for it, so I actually woke up before the crack of noon! It’s a weird thing, waking up in the AM hours. You actually have the day ahead of you, and who wants that?

Shogun Marcus

I got Cajohn, as well as FooFooMamaChoo, and most of the Mans Best Friend line. Winners all.

Senor Weaselo

High River runs the Expo!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m going to an SB party that is half a block from home. I volunteered to bartend so I can be as social (or not) as I want. If anyone says anything stupid I’ll walk back home.

...

Confession time: I kinda hate the Super Bowl.

It’s not that I don’t like football, it’s that the Super Bowl has become this national event that isn’t even that much about football and if you’re a big football fan, you’re stuck sharing space with people who tune in once a year because it’s something to do.

I’ve always considered true football season to end with the conference championship games.

ballsofsteelandfury

I agree. Three times this week people told me how they are going to Super Bowl parties and are really looking forward to the commercials. It took all my energy to not given them an evil eye. I was at work, after all…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
ballsofsteelandfury

Oh fuck no. I’m not going anywhere.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

@Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli…..

I know YOU wouldn’t.

Last time I went to one of those was Broncos v. Packers; four of us wound up taking one of the TVs to the basement and watching it like goddamn human beings are supposed to.

...

Last year’s Super Bowl was at a friend’s house with a bunch of her husband’s friends. I like her and the people she makes friends with, but all of his friends are about as uninteresting as people can get.

...

I got invited to a party this year but turned it down. It involved family and I just couldn’t bring myself to care.

I’ll meet up with football fans, though. All y’all would be the right folks to watch the game with.

herodotus450

Sign outside my party:
http://new2.fjcdn.com/thumbnails/comments/I+can+safely+say+that+this+man+is+not+a+_6f09c0505d60f34d76dd6b479aab0f83.jpg
Just kidding, I’m not hosting a party. All those people and their filthy bodily fluids.

Old School Zero

Shelley + Gordon 4eva

Old School Zero

I have chicken posole roja that I made yesterday ready to warm back up (plus all the fixins), I’ve made some salted butter caramel pastry cream to make into some crazy tasty mini-pies involving shortbread-crumb crust and chocolate ganache. Almost time to break out a beer of some sort, probably a Rodenbach Grand Cru. If the game gets boring I’ll probably put on Wolfenstein New Order and (grimdark hero voice) go kill all the nazis.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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laserguru

Thank you for taking us to the promised land Scotchy.
Eldest right and two oldest granddaughters will be here in about an hour. Son in law will be here at kickoff, he has beer makings to sell. The right brothers are here watching some hoops and I’ve got about an hour before I need to get my ass in the kitchen.
Nothing too time consuming today but I’m sure you’ll hear all about it next week.
Fuck New England!

Beerguyrob

The big victory for Canadians is the removal of SimSub for the broadcast, so we get an uninterrupted FOX broadcast.

While it doesn’t mean less Joe Buck, it does mean no forced Canadian station breaks that cut into the broadcast and late returns from commercial.

theeWeeBabySeamus

No idea what you’re talking about. What is this…..Wulf Pakk….???? You speak of?????
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...

I’m actually on the fence about watching this game at all. I couldn’t bear seeing a happy Tom Brady.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m not going to watch it.

...

I might leave it on in the background as I do other things.

ballsofsteelandfury

I just finished taking a gigantic dump. Which may end up being the theme for the day…

theeWeeBabySeamus

tmi? TMI!!!!!!

herodotus450

Why’s it called “taking” a dump? It should be called giving a dump! And what about airplane food?

herodotus450

The bigger competition today is whether I will eat too much, or will I drink too much.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What am I doing? Watching The 100 and waiting for the housekeeper to finish downstairs so I can get settled on the couch and start growing roots.

herodotus450
theeWeeBabySeamus

Housekeeper? Well la-dee-da.

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