As Barry Manilow would caterwaul, “Looks like we made it” to our second Super Bowl as a bunch of kid-like creatures that exist under the DFO banner. Well done everyone! [waits for ecstatic applause to die down] It just goes to show you what can be done with a wee bit of moxie, three cadavers, an empty garage, a government research grant, one teaspoon of wasabi, a pair of cargo shorts from Eddie Bauer, the letter “R”, (“G” can suck it-look at us now buddy, maybe you’ll actually answer your emails in the future) a few bottles of Zantac (150-the extra strength kind), the love of a bi-polar woman, superior gas mileage and some second-hand pot smoke. We’re unbelievably lucky because if you were to combine all these things together at any other point in time you’d not only not get this particular result, you’d more than likely get arrested. I thank God every day that there was no God to interfere with the extraordinarily delicate process that brought this whole thing to fruition. TO THE GAME!
In your daily wanderings across the internubs you may have gleaned that the Falcons of Atlanta are dueling the Patriots of the New England. Based on my long history of watching football I know that each and every member of both teams are going to try their very best to win the game because there is a financial bonus attached to doing so. For some it might be 10k, for others it may be 5 mil-whatever the amount, all participants (including coaches) regard this as “free money” and will do their utmost to have that money dumped into their bank account. Some will secretly record practices, others will intentionally deflate footballs. It’s more than likely that a certain unnamed squad is violating the spirit of a specific rule as I type. I’ve always felt that you are the sum of your actions and not what your guttural one- and two- and three-word responses in press conferences imply.
Okay. Now you know who I’m cheering for. Big whoop. Now it’s time for you folks to chime in. Tell us goobers what you’re up to. What are you cooking? Where are you watching the game? Hey lurker, say hello and let us know that you like what we’re doing and how we might make things better. We’re all ears-except for me, I’m all coccyx. Yeah, that’s right-I’ve got a big coccyx. If you lurk and have a medical degree…please, this condition is not pleasant AT ALL.
Enjoy the game people.
“Hmmm. We didn’t score in the first quarter. Should we try throwing to our best receiver?”
Double Julio!
Anyone here old enough to remember the cat herding commercial of year’s lore?
That was when they were great.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pk7yqlTMvp8
One of the best SB adds ever
Julio!
Trump’s twitter feed is demanding to know who is letting the Mexican play in the Super Bowl…
Thank goodness they told us who she was
Scumbag Cam abusing children
_Fox Sports Network
loogit that GLORREE BOY CAM NEEWTON makin those scrappy WHITE kids look bad #smgh
And taking our white women
And our hats….
We got an early MVP favorite.
Cam finally found a title he can win
WOOOOOOOOOOO! LOW SCORING PUNTER”S BATTLE HERE WE COME!
I can see PK complaining about this commercial in 3… 2…
So…which one of you fucks is demanding yet ANOTHER Pirates movie?!?
NOT ME
I actually hate those movies because they don’t pirate the fuck outta anything anywhere at anytime.
http://www.gifbin.com/bin/062010/1277900256_tiger-woods-vs-girl-faceplants-at-concert.gif
Special Effects of the Caribbean 1300: Scarves Aren’t Cheap
Jesus fuck! No! NO!!! No more fucking shitty Johnny Depp pirate movies! This is not negotiable!!!
WHOOOOOOO TURN OVER!!
http://68.media.tumblr.com/a432223dcbaf2363149e9feff26a42cc/tumblr_o3aylsY3Du1rdmmjro7_r1_400.gif
Pirates of the Caribbean 5: Depp Needs Money
I’m not going to go see that movie, but damn Johnny Cash is good.
That’s got to be a flag on New England, so naturally the ball will go back to them.
Atlanta is in Georgia. The state fruit of Georgia is the peach. Peach Turnovers sound DELICIOUS.
Jesus, not another commercial break.
FUMBARUUU
Go strip team! GO TEAM STRIPPER!
WOOOOOOOO
Possible turnover?
FLAG!!!!!!!
Cue penalty nullifying turnover in 3… wait it’s holding, PRAISE LACK OF BLEERGH!
In a Trump post fact world shouldn’t Biebs be the halftime show?
Pfft, he’s a dirty IMMIGRANT
frumberrrrrrr
Oh ffs
Cornerback play sucks so bad nowadays
Also very hard to cover an out and up
NRG, I GET IT! ITS A PUN!
I believe this yellow suit wearing fuck needs a beating.
“Super Bowl ads trying to bring Bad Dudes to our country. Sad. #fuckyouStatueofLiberty”
Trump tweet in 3…2…1…
What I’m learning from the commercials is that Trump voters don’t buy shit.
Only meth, fast food and bullets.
I have to look at Dreamboat during the commercials now?
Thinks he’s quite a lover; but there’s not much there
/Only knows one piece of legitimate theater
I want to pet Tom Brady’s dog. Mainly because there’s no chance that heartless fuck ever does.
Don’t talk about Giselle that wya
NFL tv ratings down 9% this year. Hot taek? Too much #viralmarketing
The best part about the MAGA dipshits having to boycott half the shit they see advertised tonight is the fact they probably don’t realize how many products are made by the companies they have decided to hate.
This 1st Quarter, I call it my love life because there is no scoring.
Is this commercial saying it’s gonna rain paint once we ditch the EPA?
Not if we defund the NEA too.
Acid paint!
OMG I MADE THE BANNER
http://m.quickmeme.com/img/b7/b740e7ce2c01493f6a2c2f02cfeb74c37fb3efd02283e39501c6514d801c525f.jpg
http://stuarte.co/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/justin-bieber-fans-at-concert-screaming.gif
http://gotceleb.com/wp-content/uploads/celebrities/selena-gomez/gif/selena-gomez-hot-ani.gif
http://media.giphy.com/media/EriPNV1whwKac/giphy.gif
That GoDaddy commercial needed way more Pepe.
“That GoDaddy commercial needed way more pee pee.”
– Donald Trump
The Pepsi Halftime Show…
Yet another reason I gave up drinking soda.
This is the first year Canada has gotten live Superb Owl commercials if they watch on Fox. From what we’ve seen so far, I think we might just go back to our shitty Canadian Tire commercials
I just woke up from a nap to realize the game was on. Have I missed anything interesting?
I usually get invited to various homes to watch the game but honestly, I couldn’t be bothered this year. Its usually kind of shit food. No one is really drinking. No one besides me can mention the names of more than maybe 4 players.
It just kind of makes me feel like a degenerate gambler showing up to a Church Bingo Hall.
Super Bowl parties are the worst and you should never attend them.
One of the thinks I get shit from my shrink for is my inability to interact with people unless it involves drugs/alcohol or work.
Obviously this is NOT healthy at all.
At the same time, I cannot seem to get along with people at all.
When did the Super Bowl commercials stop trying?
7 years ago, by my ciphering.
When the cost of a 60 second ad reached the GDP of an Eastern European country.
BRB buying crude oil
http://www.gifbin.com/bin/032011/1299505846_concert-throw-up.gif
Where are my goddamned Brady ligament tears?
Ligaments don’t cry; people whining for flags do.
I’d be OK with just Brady tears.