Yeah, a certain someone who shall remain nameless made sure to remind me it was St. Paddy’s Day upcoming, and I had better observe the fact that it was St. Paddy’s Day upcoming within the confines of this’n here Sexy Friday type thingy this week.
Like I don’t own a calendar.
But fair enough. Because while I do own one, it is true that I rarely look at it. I mean, da Fuq do I care what day it is? It’s cold as fuck out, I don’t have a job, my biggest hobby these days is murdering my liver more quickly than I ever thought possible…and I just want a moment’s respite from the constant agonizing pain of knowing that we’re all put on this planet to experience the worst kinds of horrors and….
Ahem.
(sorry…I’m ok now…probably)
Still tho…. I ask again….DA FUQ DO I CARE WHAT DAY IT IS?????
But I digress….
It just so happens that I DID look at my calendar this week and I DID know it was St. Paddy’s Day upcoming. So suck it Low Commander. (lmao)
Also, since I’ve procrastinated all week (translation: ballsofsteelandfury had me handcuffed to a table making me write ISoG….just imagine how relieved I was that that’s all he made me do after breaking out the handcuffs….whew!!!)…shit where was I? Oh right, procrastinated…..so I’m writing this TGISF right now in the middle of the day on Thursday and since it’s a St. Paddy’s Day special, I feel justified in day drinking. I mean I’ve been day drinking pretty much every day lately….but at least today I feel justified.
Shut up…I need this.
OK relax. All of that stuff up there about how terrible the world is was meant to be funny. As far as you know.
Hey, here’s a funny joke (hat tip to entropy for co-writing this one, btw….though he’ll probably be pissed at me now because I can’t imagine anyone wanting credit for this…….)….
Depressed dude on the couch at his shrink’s office…
Depressed Dude: Doc, I hate the world. I haven’t loaded the gun yet, but I know where the ammunition is.
Doc: Well, if you’re feeling suicidal it might have more to do with you than the world.
Depressed Dude: SUICIDAL??? I LIKE ME!!!! IT’S THE REST OF THE WORLD I WANT TO KILL.
Doc: OK, I’m going to refer you to one of my colleagues….
Oh come on…that’s fucking funny. Meh….nobody gets me.
Speaking of nobody getting me, next week on ISoG (at least I freaking hope it’s next week, and I don’t screw up and have another premature publication….hehehe, that sounds funny)…shit where was I? Oh yeah, next week ballsofsteelandfury drags me to church. I bet you weren’t expecting THAT. FWIW, neither was I. I always expect that dude to zig and goddamned if he doesn’t zag every freaking time. Jerk.
Also I bang an ugly chick. OK, that’s not necessarily news, admittedly. But I bang this one in church. Now THAT’S entertainment, by god. LOL, by god….fuck that was accidental. I am so going to hell.
Anyway…..Monday, 11am EDT (which is the only time zone which matters SHUT UP CALIFORNIA)
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Your “There ain’t gon’ be no sports talk this week” section
Did you not read that header??? Ain’t gon’ be no sports.
I’m lazy, maybe already a little drunk, and nobody gives a shit about anything but that fucking basketball tournament right now. And none of you ever read the sports section of TGISF anyway. Don’t think I don’t know that. All you do is scroll down to the almost nekkid girls as fast as you can. Fucking perverts.
And yet it’s me…tWBS…your friendly ambassador of love and peace, who gets branded as…wait, what were those words again????? I want to make sure to get this correct….
“THE PIMP OF [DFO]”
Yep…that’s me. Apparently….
And goddamned proud of it, too!!!!
SMGDH…..
Sorry, hang on a sec….the voices in my head are telling me something…
Yeah, tell me something I didn’t already know…fuckers….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FMEuL9Yq7fE
It’s kinda cute how right now a lot of you think I’m joking about having voices in my head.
Hahaha….the voices think it’s funny too.
(No shut up…no I am NOT going to tell them that)
But srsly don’t worry…they haven’t told me to kill you all. Yet. Well, most of you. Plus you’re never alone when you have the voices.
I really, really hope there’s cocaine left backstage….
(no, you won’t get that because you didn’t listen to the fucking song up there…you didn’t channel your inner Hanson brother…smgdh).
Don’t worry about me not covering sports this week btw. That video up there is the best thing to happen in hockey all week, and the rest of sports suck right now anyway.
If you don’t like the fact that I didn’t cover sports this week, maybe go here or here. They’ve got links and words and pictures and everything. Even a caveman could do it (shit, did I really just say that?).
Pay me more next week and I’ll spoon feed you again.
–
Finally…Luck O’ The Sexy
(I refer you back to “you’re all a bunch of perverts”….but here anyway)
And also yes I really am pissed off. And also lazy. And also maybe a little drunk. I’m half Irish….gimme a break will ya?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1gmWMk24OfI
Rape and Spiders…LMFAO. (I might need therapy I think)
Anyway….so here in no particular order (srsly…whatever order these upload in is how you’re getting them…well except for that one…lol) are some St. Paddy’s Day hotties….
And now, a brief intermission to look at Kristen Bell. Just because I can. And want to….
OK, resume the Irish stuff…..
Good Gawd…that last girl doesn’t look Irish, but I can’t say I care. Holee Molee.
–
OK, I don’t know what photo of mine to share with you this week to be honest. Lemme look for a sec. While I’m looking, here….. listen to a song (If humanly possible, I plan to see these guys live in the not too distant future)….
OK, stop being depressed, I found a great photo for you….well…great-ish….
Here we have a Black-necked Stilt (Himantopus mexicanus) looking for something tasty. This was captured about 3 years ago as I was biking past a drainage canal in central Arizona. Unfortunately it wasn’t captured with the good camera, but rather my crappier more portable-ish one. But I still like it. And you better like it too or the voices will not be happy….
–
Yep, you get one more song. Yep, it’s gonna be by an Irish band. Yep, you want Dropkick, or maybe The Pogues. Maybe even Thin Lizzy. Unfortunately for you, I like The Cranberries, so fuck off.
–
OK, that’s it. Imma now be in pursuit of alcohol. And perhaps a new liver.
Love ya’s
–
http://68.media.tumblr.com/adf03b1212a2713c17f376a379b854a8/tumblr_o62p9llYZk1r0hgato9_400.gif
….the smell?
SALTY! MEATY! AS ADVERTIZED!
http://68.media.tumblr.com/3265d37959f78a2abff46a49efba7fbe/tumblr_o2nro6yDlF1uhyibpo1_540.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/54b1a96d2bdc5cc8c3f5ec537bd351c9/tumblr_o58bucdS0F1qapkmyo1_1280.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/6cf560768de2fe5dc693f34e1d31c0ec/tumblr_ol5dx4V43T1sd6bg0o1_1280.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/69f054eddbe232c40cbaf942c054794c/tumblr_o5wk9bLFcb1ric2iqo1_1280.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/8f4d35a7f21ffabfe2743a4910ff2510/tumblr_o5t5daJe5j1u56zimo1_500.jpg
FOAR HIPPO:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7yfISlGLNU
http://68.media.tumblr.com/ada577955446009693d528fa0c19eb8f/tumblr_o933nrkbeX1qh9o2do1_1280.png
http://68.media.tumblr.com/d2874fc3eb8055e2e0ca353961405eed/tumblr_o6umuxuXY51sraya7o1_540.png
Tits.
Try video games;
h
ttp://68.media.tumblr.com/7a8ac0707fd5261de65cbbbd8165e679/tumblr_ob3dqgrBNE1ul2tiso1_1280.png
NSF DFO.
Relax, man.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m0pcytbuQs1qia0dso2_500.gif
Soundtrack for poker right now:
https://soundcloud.com/yunizon-records/sets/manganas-garden-solar-satisfaction-lp
http://68.media.tumblr.com/c2fb3f01d796d0d2816891b9d3dce7bc/tumblr_mmfz2xUonS1qaezqco1_1280.png
evening gents, probably won’t be in much tonght, so I just will leave you with this reminder of what once was
i miss her….
http://img1.izismile.com/img/img5/20120320/640/famous_irish_ladies_640_26.jpg
She’s so hole-some
http://68.media.tumblr.com/82e6a7e98c6fdcf5e0fc3ede43bf5d73/tumblr_olqidcOv1l1vlb3moo1_400.gif
http://68.media.tumblr.com/f3ee9cd09b1feb4ae743aa35cb3f2a31/tumblr_n1ztaduCad1ric2iqo1_1280.jpg
St Patty’s Day is more fun when you’re single and don’t care about vomiting in public
http://68.media.tumblr.com/cb649d41521c8e5a101190d4e71b71d0/tumblr_ohqrjfC4Oj1uhyibpo1_540.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/5938fef49c3f5020d6f4c1ac6177c038/tumblr_nkra76YZgJ1ric2iqo1_1280.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/2e0ce272fffb78f8d095d9b04084fdf9/tumblr_om7pd92EHQ1szvlx8o5_1280.jpg
After reading your guys’ comments about what’s going on during March Madness, I never realized how many of you watch College Basketball. It makes my picks based on Canadians seem so amateurish and hacky
My picks were based on knowledge from 1998
http://68.media.tumblr.com/971c4077bc329ebfc871eedad1d5d5e5/tumblr_oaz884dbZv1qesepao1_1280.png
http://68.media.tumblr.com/5f3129fbb082edab60dca64df2f4a410/tumblr_omrwpoz7cr1ric2iqo1_1280.jpg
Poker anyone?
I’m here
http://68.media.tumblr.com/9d5a1e0e0dbdecb23039675862c59781/tumblr_mjewau9zF81ric2iqo1_500.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/f95d31d73bc433a78ba172f703b5ebc9/tumblr_omry6v4Evp1ric2iqo1_1280.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/33c0dbc62e3e7ba708ab8ac49915d4a4/tumblr_o3qzzibWfo1ric2iqo1_1280.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/cc15ff7ca387db184b56e354a9f095a9/tumblr_omrwiqfGnx1qcpno5o1_1280.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/4ab30540c5b6a37ca6b78f71b9a8af11/tumblr_nkz66eMUHO1ric2iqo1_1280.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/d6a9d0cd5910e41df866dcecc74747f0/tumblr_okvr5pKLRd1u3vseto1_1280.jpg
Not pictured: Me.
Pool lockers are the worst ones to be stuffed into.
Ook
http://68.media.tumblr.com/9652e19c0064a85dfd481e2621f447a2/tumblr_omla1haKVi1qhj8boo1_1280.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/dc0e7c2c4caa99ec814fb0263ae83c1e/tumblr_om7go40akk1rcrc2qo1_1280.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/5d6e133ae950da52bf0aac4afdb1bda3/tumblr_olffk9Lk2Z1r4w8k5o1_500.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/0638fc274b9b83de2ebfac5e5207ed81/tumblr_okug4yZl7W1vgicgwo1_1280.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/9bb306cddf75a3a7333e470135b9739a/tumblr_ol52pumg5b1sz68wxo1_1280.jpg
She seems nice
and probably very polite.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/8e53f0e578b3480c033720bc23e26ab7/tumblr_olmjilF4aZ1rcrc2qo1_1280.jpg
Oh Alice…you crazy sexy psycho.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/7f37f7b493386f963e81ab8e86f1601c/tumblr_ojzz97H2Rg1rnbunpo1_1280.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/888ad5a57111460ac14a21961fe6ff96/tumblr_nbywv8fkHB1sl75s1o1_1280.jpg
Photographer in picture: sloppy!
Purposeful on his part.
Evening, lads. I may have started drinking without eating, so I bailed on that scene and am currently grabbing a shot and a beer with a pork sandwich in a bar that used to be where I go my hair cut. Sup around here?
http://68.media.tumblr.com/84e87525d4149d20700630f67b71d8a6/tumblr_olo645DRgR1w55g79o2_500.gif
http://68.media.tumblr.com/20d7ffd8c8aaac2f660f1f665bf1b184/tumblr_olo645DRgR1w55g79o5_500.gif
http://68.media.tumblr.com/8590a77fa359572304d64b88209066ab/tumblr_o103nqbwhR1u8qr43o1_540.gif
http://68.media.tumblr.com/a79bd33987b8b78194662a5df4ae219b/tumblr_om7bjjpp401ujs6vwo1_1280.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/8debd672f840dd619fd428d79537ea91/tumblr_octtjcgBU31uv0xido1_1280.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/52f9ca88a85d469c94f6d527d9a52ad9/tumblr_ok7ana80Ml1r0hgato1_1280.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/78646dc872c9e2742cc6e965a0ab7a56/tumblr_omx8ksJxps1rpf0t3o1_1280.jpg
One other level of stupid on this (there are several) is that the places attacked are overwhelmingly liberal. Aside from Oklahoma City, Red America has never been the target of mass terror deaths.
Levels of stupid….. like an infinite onion; we’ll never get to the center but a lot of people will be crying along the way.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/94b64c0d81e22c08284d29d73e8e6848/tumblr_omr9yyceMl1qf9csoo1_1280.png
http://68.media.tumblr.com/3c2b5721291f8064748a2c437dfe7dd4/tumblr_olwnwuq0Md1qd8he6o1_500.gif
http://68.media.tumblr.com/952865689b8bb0c30818d5354c22932c/tumblr_o50kfqF6n61v6hidho1_1280.jpg
As an alcoholic, St Patrick’s Day is the worst fucking day of the year.
Like any good alcoholic, I have about three separate places that I drink at, of which is dependent on how far I am from pay day. Generally the longer a place will let me float a tab, the shittier and more depressing the place is.
So naturally today, I run to the place that is usually my last resort. The place that has a black and white TV hanging precariously over the bar while the woman behind the bar smokes, and the only thing harsher than the god awful spirits is the skunk as beer. Despite being an old fuck, I am usually the youngest person in there by 10 years, and there is someone always either opening mail or quietly sobbing at the bar.
Its in the shittiest bar, on the shittiest street, in the shittiest part of town. The cops don’t even fuck with us just because it depresses them too fucking much to harass drunks like us.
Except fucking today. My quiet, shitty little harbor in the chaotic ocean that is my life has been invaded by moronic townies and god awful college kids getting shit faced, fucking with the locals, and bringing way too much attention on us.
I fucking hate this day.
Evening everyone. My friend and I are watching the line be out the door at the divey as fuck bar across the street. Hooray for stereotypes?
http://68.media.tumblr.com/41fb718ebe58de2c9862f498bf20a3d1/tumblr_oheby7xifB1s2pocso1_1280.jpg
Finally, Bridget Regan in redhead form.
And just because
http://img.sexpornpages.com/images02/image-142122.jpg
I much prefer Ireland Baldwin over her cousin.
Hailey Baldwin is more popular, but all I ever see is her dad’s (Steven) face.
No daddy issues at all in that family.
For those of you classy fuckers, Saoirse Ronan
Oh, yeah. Of course she’s Irish.
Cintia Dicker’s Brazilian, but a freckled redhead is a freckled redhead, and on this day they’re all golden.
Oh, look at Mr. Moneybags here, able to afford booze.
FACK YOU!
That’s the problem. Time is limited.
I need to drink myself to death before I run out of money.
That’s where I went wrong. I ran out of money first.
Didn’t Nicholas Cage make a movie about that? Hey, think you can bang Elisabeth Shue on the way out!?
I’ll be lucky if I can get hard enough to masturbate on the way out.
If you didn’t name me, I was going to be disappointed.
I mean, it IS my day…
It’s funny how folks think that’s an artist’s conception.