TGISF…aka Your “I’ve Been Threatened If I Don’t Go Green” Sexy Friday Open Thread

Yeah, a certain someone who shall remain nameless made sure to remind me it was St. Paddy’s Day upcoming, and I had better observe the fact that it was St. Paddy’s Day upcoming within the confines of this’n here Sexy Friday type thingy this week.

Like I don’t own a calendar.

But fair enough.  Because while I do own one, it is true that I rarely look at it.  I mean, da Fuq do I care what day it is?  It’s cold as fuck out, I don’t have a job, my biggest hobby these days is murdering my liver more quickly than I ever thought possible…and I just want a moment’s respite from the constant agonizing pain of knowing that we’re all put on this planet to experience the worst kinds of horrors and….

Ahem.

(sorry…I’m ok now…probably)

Still tho…. I ask again….DA FUQ DO I CARE WHAT DAY IT IS?????

But I digress….

It just so happens that I DID look at my calendar this week and I DID know it was St. Paddy’s Day upcoming.  So suck it Low Commander. (lmao)

Also, since I’ve procrastinated all week (translationballsofsteelandfury had me handcuffed to a table making me write ISoG….just imagine how relieved I was that that’s all he made me do after breaking out the handcuffs….whew!!!)…shit where was I?  Oh right, procrastinated…..so I’m writing this TGISF right now in the middle of the day on Thursday and since it’s a St. Paddy’s Day special, I feel justified in day drinking.  I mean I’ve been day drinking pretty much every day lately….but at least today I feel justified.

Shut up…I need this.

 

 

OK relax.  All of that stuff up there about how terrible the world is was meant to be funny.  As far as you know.

Hey, here’s a funny joke (hat tip to entropy for co-writing this one, btw….though he’ll probably be pissed at me now because I can’t imagine anyone wanting credit for this…….)….

Depressed dude on the couch at his shrink’s office…

Depressed Dude:  Doc, I hate the world.  I haven’t loaded the gun yet, but I know where the ammunition is.

Doc:  Well, if you’re feeling suicidal it might have more to do with you than the world.

Depressed Dude:  SUICIDAL???  I LIKE ME!!!!  IT’S THE REST OF THE WORLD I WANT TO KILL.

Doc:  OK, I’m going to refer you to one of my colleagues….

 

Oh come on…that’s fucking funny.  Meh….nobody gets me.

Speaking of nobody getting me, next week on ISoG (at least I freaking hope it’s next week, and I don’t screw up and have another premature publication….hehehe, that sounds funny)…shit where was I?  Oh yeah, next week ballsofsteelandfury drags me to church.  I bet you weren’t expecting THAT.  FWIW, neither was I.  I always expect that dude to zig and goddamned if he doesn’t zag every freaking time.  Jerk.

Also I bang an ugly chick.  OK, that’s not necessarily news, admittedly.  But I bang this one in church.  Now THAT’S entertainment, by god.  LOL, by god….fuck that was accidental.  I am so going to hell.

Anyway…..Monday, 11am EDT (which is the only time zone which matters SHUT UP CALIFORNIA)

Your “There ain’t gon’ be no sports talk this week” section

Did you not read that header??? Ain’t gon’ be no sports.

I’m lazy, maybe already a little drunk, and nobody gives a shit about anything but that fucking basketball tournament right now.  And none of you ever read the sports section of TGISF anyway.  Don’t think I don’t know that.  All you do is scroll down to the almost nekkid girls as fast as you can.  Fucking perverts.

And yet it’s me…tWBS…your friendly ambassador of love and peace, who gets branded as…wait, what were those words again?????  I want to make sure to get this correct….

THE PIMP OF [DFO]

Yep…that’s me.  Apparently….

And goddamned proud of it, too!!!!

SMGDH…..

 

Sorry, hang on a sec….the voices in my head are telling me something…

 

Yeah, tell me something I didn’t already know…fuckers….

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FMEuL9Yq7fE

 

It’s kinda cute how right now a lot of you think I’m joking about having voices in my head.

Hahaha….the voices think it’s funny too.

(No shut up…no I am NOT going to tell them that)

But srsly don’t worry…they haven’t told me to kill you all.  Yet.  Well, most of you.  Plus you’re never alone when you have the voices.

I really, really hope there’s cocaine left backstage….

(no, you won’t get that because you didn’t listen to the fucking song up there…you didn’t channel your inner Hanson brother…smgdh).

Don’t worry about me not covering sports this week btw.  That video up there is the best thing to happen in hockey all week, and the rest of sports suck right now anyway.

If you don’t like the fact that I didn’t cover sports this week, maybe go here or here.  They’ve got links and words and pictures and everything.  Even a caveman could do it (shit, did I really just say that?).

Pay me more next week and I’ll spoon feed you again.

Finally…Luck O’ The Sexy

(I refer you back to “you’re all a bunch of perverts”….but here anyway)

And also yes I really am pissed off.  And also lazy.  And also maybe a little drunk.  I’m half Irish….gimme a break will ya?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1gmWMk24OfI

Rape and Spiders…LMFAO. (I might need therapy I think)

Anyway….so here in no particular order (srsly…whatever order these upload in is how you’re getting them…well except for that one…lol) are some St. Paddy’s Day hotties….

And now, a brief intermission to look at Kristen Bell.  Just because I can.  And want to….

Damn right….she’s gonna get her own featured TGISF week before too long. Just you wait….

OK, resume the Irish stuff…..

Good Gawd…that last girl doesn’t look Irish, but I can’t say I care.  Holee Molee.

OK, I don’t know what photo of mine to share with you this week to be honest.  Lemme look for a sec.  While I’m looking, here….. listen to a song (If humanly possible, I plan to see these guys live in the not too distant future)….

OK, stop being depressed, I found a great photo for you….well…great-ish….

Here we have a Black-necked Stilt (Himantopus mexicanus) looking for something tasty.  This was captured about 3 years ago as I was biking past a drainage canal in central Arizona.  Unfortunately it wasn’t captured with the good camera, but rather my crappier more portable-ish one.  But I still like it.  And you better like it too or the voices will not be happy….

– In Pursuit of Breakfast –

Yep, you get one more song.  Yep, it’s gonna be by an Irish band.  Yep, you want Dropkick, or maybe The Pogues.  Maybe even Thin Lizzy.  Unfortunately for you, I like The Cranberries, so fuck off.

OK, that’s it.  Imma now be in pursuit of alcohol.  And perhaps a new liver.

Love ya’s

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theeWeeBabySeamus
An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it's a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles. When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

….the smell?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

SALTY! MEATY! AS ADVERTIZED!

...

Tits.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Try video games;
h
ttp://68.media.tumblr.com/7a8ac0707fd5261de65cbbbd8165e679/tumblr_ob3dqgrBNE1ul2tiso1_1280.png

NSF DFO.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Brocky

evening gents, probably won’t be in much tonght, so I just will leave you with this reminder of what once was

i miss her….

http://img1.izismile.com/img/img5/20120320/640/famous_irish_ladies_640_26.jpg

BrettFavresColonoscopy

She’s so hole-some

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
BrettFavresColonoscopy

St Patty’s Day is more fun when you’re single and don’t care about vomiting in public

Wakezilla

After reading your guys’ comments about what’s going on during March Madness, I never realized how many of you watch College Basketball. It makes my picks based on Canadians seem so amateurish and hacky

BrettFavresColonoscopy

My picks were based on knowledge from 1998

litre_cola

Poker anyone?

The Maestro

I’m here

Horatio Cornblower

Not pictured: Me.

Unsurprised

Pool lockers are the worst ones to be stuffed into.

litre_cola

Ook

Wakezilla

She seems nice

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

and probably very polite.

Shogun Marcus

Oh Alice…you crazy sexy psycho.

Brocky

Photographer in picture: sloppy!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Purposeful on his part.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Evening, lads. I may have started drinking without eating, so I bailed on that scene and am currently grabbing a shot and a beer with a pork sandwich in a bar that used to be where I go my hair cut. Sup around here?

...

One other level of stupid on this (there are several) is that the places attacked are overwhelmingly liberal. Aside from Oklahoma City, Red America has never been the target of mass terror deaths.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Levels of stupid….. like an infinite onion; we’ll never get to the center but a lot of people will be crying along the way.

JustStopDude

As an alcoholic, St Patrick’s Day is the worst fucking day of the year.

Like any good alcoholic, I have about three separate places that I drink at, of which is dependent on how far I am from pay day. Generally the longer a place will let me float a tab, the shittier and more depressing the place is.

So naturally today, I run to the place that is usually my last resort. The place that has a black and white TV hanging precariously over the bar while the woman behind the bar smokes, and the only thing harsher than the god awful spirits is the skunk as beer. Despite being an old fuck, I am usually the youngest person in there by 10 years, and there is someone always either opening mail or quietly sobbing at the bar.

Its in the shittiest bar, on the shittiest street, in the shittiest part of town. The cops don’t even fuck with us just because it depresses them too fucking much to harass drunks like us.

Except fucking today. My quiet, shitty little harbor in the chaotic ocean that is my life has been invaded by moronic townies and god awful college kids getting shit faced, fucking with the locals, and bringing way too much attention on us.

I fucking hate this day.

Senor Weaselo

Evening everyone. My friend and I are watching the line be out the door at the divey as fuck bar across the street. Hooray for stereotypes?

Unsurprised

Finally, Bridget Regan in redhead form.
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And just because
http://img.sexpornpages.com/images02/image-142122.jpg

Unsurprised

I much prefer Ireland Baldwin over her cousin.
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Hailey Baldwin is more popular, but all I ever see is her dad’s (Steven) face.
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Horatio Cornblower

No daddy issues at all in that family.

Unsurprised

For those of you classy fuckers, Saoirse Ronan
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Unsurprised

Oh, yeah. Of course she’s Irish.
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Unsurprised

Cintia Dicker’s Brazilian, but a freckled redhead is a freckled redhead, and on this day they’re all golden.
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Unsurprised

It’s cold as fuck out, I don’t have a job, my biggest hobby these days is murdering my liver more quickly than I ever thought possible

Oh, look at Mr. Moneybags here, able to afford booze.

FACK YOU!

Unsurprised

That’s where I went wrong. I ran out of money first.

Horatio Cornblower

Didn’t Nicholas Cage make a movie about that? Hey, think you can bang Elisabeth Shue on the way out!?

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

If you didn’t name me, I was going to be disappointed.

I mean, it IS my day…

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