Unwatchable Finale Game Thread

Don’t mind me, I shall gladly sleep and bask in the sweet 36-hour glow of the Small Bears occupying sole possession of last place* in the NL Central.  Gotta take those small victories when one can.

#1W Gonzaga v. #1S U*NC (9:20, CBS)

CBS got the final they wanted, and will likely get the Ol’ Roy championship they want, too.  Verily, we are part of the Darkest Timeline.  Just don’t look, just don’t look.

*Goddamnit, really??  The Pie-rates done already lost and I can’t even has that?  Die in a fire, fucking universe.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Sharkbait

She has an aggressive twitter bio.

Wakezilla

“Behind every successful man, is a woman pegging him.”

Hilarious

Unsurprised

Her name is Gisele Bundchen

herodotus450

“Hmm, bombing in London, bombing in Moscow, maybe trump is right with this travel ban thing… Maybe trump was behind the bombings all along…!…Wait a minute…”
Takes of mask. Looks in mirror. Pete Carroll looks back.
“I knew it!”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Since when is rebounding difficult?

JustStopDude

Oh and I found out that breaking my lease is only going to cost me 3 months of rent.

Fucking landlord…”So JSD…you are moving out on the 7th right?”

“You just told me that I have to pay the entire month…so fuck you no. Its the goddamn 30th”

Unsurprised

Damn straight

LemonJello

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Jeebus. I may be going to bed soon. So disappointed that the meteor is a no-show. Prolly show up in the second half after I turn the game off.

http://24.media.tumblr.com/6c6e285a4f907789cd76a4aeb5372f4f/tumblr_mgwc1m1G8a1qmvy8zo1_500.gif

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m confident that the refs will help UNC win this game.

Also, I don’t want to be watching but am eating/drinking/playing poker on my laptop at a bar with the game right in front of my lazy fat face

LemonJello

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Wakezilla

Jesus. Who’s that?

Unsurprised

Fuck!

JustStopDude

So I am suppose to close on my first house ever on the 7th. Sometime the week after, I am suppose to move all my shit with a moving company. I didn’t think I had a lot of shit in a one bedroom, one bath apartment, but five boxes in…fucking Christ was is all this crap?!?!

I also realized I have like 6 boxes in a closet from when I moved in 5 years ago that I have no fucking clue what is in them except for maybe books from when I was in the military and then college.

I have boxes pilled up everywhere and I haven’t even touched the fucking kitchen.

Yet…when I move into the new place…I won’t have enough shit to fill up the living room.

1st world problems….

Sharkbait

You never know how much useless shit you have until you move. Also, moving sucks.

JustStopDude

Thank to a family member stealing my pickup and wrecking years ago, I’m not even going to attempt to move myself. Just getting a moving company to handle most of the shit.

But I am a fucking control freak so I want to box up the shit myself. I swear to god though, the majority of the stuff is going to end up getting trashed at my new place. If it wasn’t for the fact my apartment complex dumpster is overflowing except for about 30 minutes after its emptied, I would chuck the shit here.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

One time I moved out of a place where three generations of roommates had come and gone. There was so much crap left over we filled all the garbage cans and I had to start burning shit to get rid of it.

LemonJello

Having movers do it for you is the better way, no doubt. This move will be the first one we do ourselves.

Unsurprised

Movers are the best. And as Xmas Ape has mentioned before, don’t forget to tip them afterwards if they do it competently.

LemonJello

Congrats on buying a house!

I’m in the opposite boat, trying to sell the current place, downsize all the stuff we’ve gathered AND trying to figure out if we should rent or buy next.

Unsurprised

Need a roommate?

LemonJello

This game isn’t so bad when you’ve got it muted (and you’re not really watching it).

http://i.imgur.com/hR6TEi6.gif

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Sharkbait

Good evening folks. Only reason I’m rooting for Gonzaga is a friend’s wife went there.

Also more UNC crying Jordan memes.

OK so 2 reasons.

WCS

So.. can Patrick Ewing, actually, you know, like, coach? This is going to be a hilarious disaster.

Shogun Marcus

Seems like a good first question to ask. I thought Georgetown was known for having some smrt.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I don’t think that came up during the hiring process.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Nice, I signed up for a GWS kit, too. Looking forward to seeing it if I ever get back to my apartment.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey Jake, how would you like to write AFL Beat the next two weeks?
heheheheheheh
/runs from balls

Senor Weaselo

…Is it bad that I chuckled throughout the song?

Senor Weaselo

I’m writing things! Some of it might actually be decent, the rest might get me death glares from tWBS’s favorite cellist and then I’ll catch fire!

LemonJello

Ground burst effects vs air burst effects
http://media4.giphy.com/media/i7SdIY7Uf9vO0/giphy.gif

theeWeeBabySeamus

C’mon Dudes….poker. Like no shit. Fuck this game.

theeWeeBabySeamus

JESUS CHRIST WILL SOMEONE PLEASE BUY ROY WILLIAMS A NEW FUCKING SPORTS JACKET ALREADY????????????????

LemonJello

The ones that burst into flames upon touching an asshole of that magnitude are all out of stock.

Gratliff

Ah yes, the weird world of wrestling fetish videos which feature actual real wrestlers in them.
http://i.imgbox.com/Su88YQya.gif

LemonJello

Is there a newsletter that one could subscribe to?

/Asking for a friend

theeWeeBabySeamus

MyCoochHurts.com

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Her email is bruisedclitouch.comcast.net,

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Cooze is a nice moist cooch. According to the dictionary anyway, not sure about your slang terms.

Gratliff

Oh, I’m sure there is. Ironically, it does nothing for me.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Cool, it does nothing for me either, especially when clothing gets ripped off amongst the women contestants.*

*Yes it does.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I propose a poker protest of tonight’s game.
What say you???

LemonJello

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Gratliff

Alexa Bliss getting the proper amount of love on here these days, but don’t sleep on the indies.

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LemonJello

I don’t know who these ladies are, but they’re doing a good job convincing me to start watching wrasslin’

http://www.dailywrestlingnews.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/Tessmacher-booty-gifs-001.gif

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Kenny Smiff is first on the list now, btw.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Are you denigrating my AFAM degree you fucking racist?????

LemonJello

Here’s a version of the meteor ending it all for the kids:
http://www.motherjones.com/files/impact.en_.gif

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ah, that’s better.
My Bliss.
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LemonJello

She is one well put-together young lady.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yes indeedy.

LemonJello

Wait. This fucking abortion of a game doesn’t start until 9 here on the Least Coast? Da Fuq?

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LemonJello

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Gratliff

Having a fun time listening to the RAW crowd murder the guy who beat Undertaker in his last match. Even if it is his job, you almost feel bad for him.

Senor Weaselo

I don’t know much about wrasslin, but… don’t people not like Roman Reigns no matter what they try to do for him?

Gratliff

I’d change for to to, but yes. They overpromoted the shit out of him too soon and it backfired, and now they can’t get him over as a good guy no matter what they do.

Wakezilla

Well, he is supposed to be the heel, so, mission accomplished

Unsurprised

I keep having this idea running through my head of DFO becoming a podcast. Serializing HRTN alone would be a hoot.

litre_cola

I think that would be a great idea.

theeWeeBabySeamus

How interesting. No comment.

blaxabbath

I think it’d be funny if your podcast discussed the site like was true/real/not-scripted. Like, “Can you believe TWBS is going to Mexico to look for a new goddess?”

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hippo, did you ummm…happen to see JackWolf’s rant?

theeWeeBabySeamus

No, on main blog.

I didn’t read it all the way thru. But I get emails anytime anyone responds to anything thru the facebook acct. Which is annoying as fuck btw. But all day today I was getting facebook emails from people I don’t know…so I had to go look. He posted a I hate U*NC rant today. I guess that’s his yearly contribution.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Understood…trust me.
I don’t expect to be returning myself, FWIW.

litre_cola

The Jesuits winning will be real irritating around these parts. But cant stand ol’Roy this is a real fuck you game.

How the fuck you doin boys?

theeWeeBabySeamus

So yeah, I generally avoid local news, and here’s why…
I just got done watching some bullshit puff piece about how these poor TarHeels have overcome so much adversity and…get this…have pulled together to overcome all of the outside negatives.

I just can’t even right now. I really want to murder these fuckers. And all of the local media who attended the U*NC school of journalism. Dirty cheating fuckers…every last one of them.

Unsurprised

Everything is shit.

entropy

I watched the Walking Dead finale…. and after skipping the last 4-5 episodes, without any real context, I could see the big, stupid “twist” coming from a mile away just from terrible acting and directing choices that were stale in the fucking 1920s. The people making this show know it’s become a joke, right?

Also: Happy Dirt Football Opening Day!! Mets won! Whooohoooooo!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Mark Trumbo walk off in B’more in extras. Probably the high point of the season, but it was fun.

Gratliff

Really, I don’t know why more people don’t take wrestling seriously.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDCQ1Mun0oI

Senor Weaselo
Brick Meathook

Just desired to let you realize I enjoyed browsing on your world-wide-web internet site.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

And that information will soon be sold by the people you are paying to access the interwebseitherwavesnet to advertisers, insurances firms, etc. Good luck peeps.

http://68.media.tumblr.com/280ddd79ac209abf8566e58ec41f84f3/tumblr_oeb9wn5DTu1sn8m9wo1_400.gif

LemonJello

Is there some poor fucker in the Raleigh-Durham area that has to supply Ol’Roy with his hideous sport coats?

LemonJello

I’d be okay with loss of bladder and bowel control, all beamed around the world in glorious HD.

The student sections would be merciless on him next season.

theeWeeBabySeamus

If I thought I could get away with it, I would burn the entire town of Chapel Hill, North Carolina to the ground and piss on the ashes.

That is all.

ballsofsteelandfury

No poop?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yes…poop, too. Good idea.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Oh, damn; I thought that was a separate personal question about regularity.

LemonJello

/Double checks where LimeJello and OrangeJello are/will be attending college.

You may proceed, sir.

blaxabbath
herodotus450

Persistence

ballsofsteelandfury

You should be able to upload one to the site when you click on “Edit My Profile”.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is it ok that I have ZERO desire to watch tonight’s game?

LemonJello

Yes. But you must watch anyway. Herr Charlemango demands it!

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ballsofsteelandfury

I really dig that name. Herr Charlemango has a nice ring to it.

Someone brought this up in another thread, but I was thinking about it. If Herr Charlemango does continue to try to get rid of government agencies, wouldn’t it be a great thing if he got rid of the FCC? I mean, what are those fuckers useful for anyway?

Senor Weaselo

Thinking of the children?
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LemonJello

No, I didn’t go to Penn State.

LemonJello

All credit for “Charlemango” goes to Entropy.

Could you imagine all the heads going ‘splodey if the TV execs didn’t have the FCC putting them in check?

ballsofsteelandfury

Or the penises. We would be like Europe with porn on in the evening hours.

ballsofsteelandfury

Instead of reruns of Two and a Half Men, you’d get Pirates 2: Stagnetti’s Revenge

LemonJello

Would there be weekend marathons of the entire series of “Big Nuts for Butt Sluts”?

herodotus450

That’s sort’ve what the internet privacy bill was all about that got passed the other day (the one that lets your isp sell your internet data, all of it, any of it, without your consent or knowledge). Some repubs claim that the FTC should be doing what the FCC is doing, so that’s reason enough to gut the FCC’s powers. And then conveniently forget to establish law to give that power to the FTC…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Um, no. However the regulations need to be updated to the 21st century and it needs to protect consumers instead of large monopolistic corporations. Below is an artist’s depiction of these things happening.
http://media.giphy.com/media/2BsmVULWSsKCk/giphy.gif

Senor Weaselo

Fuck U*NC on life principle, fuck Gonzaga on personal principle, fuck everything in existence on DFO principle, let’s drink?

Senor Weaselo

I actually put myself to work writing because I promised myself I’d finish writing all the notes to this piece by April 1st and I’m not done yet.

LemonJello

You’ve still got time.

LemonJello

“I’m just here to see the meteor impact.”
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Oh, and probably to post gifs. Any requests?

herodotus450

Hey looks who’s talking; you chose to be in that “History of Spectator Sports: A Layman’s View” class of your own volition.
As for me, I fully expect to be bleeding from the ears at halftime from the atrocious commercial volume, and since halftime should be around 6am Eastern, I’ll have to stop watching and go to work.

blaxabbath

Don’t say that!

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herodotus450

That’s a nice story… Eric.

blaxabbath

Come on, Heels! Show these chicken fuckers that college basketball is for the blood-bloods!

http://cdn-static.sidereel.com/tv_shows/35287/giant_2x/164981-8.jpg

LemonJello

/Raises hand

“Mr. Abbath? Aren’t those “Heels” also chickenfuckers? Or are they more pigfucker in their ways?”

blaxabbath

This isn’t a UNC honors class; I don’t answer questions.

Wait — IS dfo a UNC honors class???

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