Unwatchable Finale Game Thread

King Hippo -
250

Don’t mind me, I shall gladly sleep and bask in the sweet 36-hour glow of the Small Bears occupying sole possession of last place* in the NL Central.  Gotta take those small victories when one can.

#1W Gonzaga v. #1S U*NC (9:20, CBS)

CBS got the final they wanted, and will likely get the Ol’ Roy championship they want, too.  Verily, we are part of the Darkest Timeline.  Just don’t look, just don’t look.

*Goddamnit, really??  The Pie-rates done already lost and I can’t even has that?  Die in a fire, fucking universe.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

THIS GAME, MASS EFFECT ANDROMEDA, I CALL IT THE TEMPLE OF DOOM BECAUSE ITS FULL OF TOO MANY BUGS AND IT’S TEARING MY HEART OUT.

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Unsurprised

Edit of an Aubrey Plaza gif I just found.
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Unsurprised

I had a dream about this gif last night.
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Wakezilla

She seems nice

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Unsurprised

Time to let our hair down.
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Unsurprised

We may as well get completely comfortable.
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Wakezilla

She doesn’t skip workouts

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Unsurprised

Exercise is important to maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

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Wakezilla

It is. Sadly, I went to the gym for the first time this year today. It wasn’t pretty.

1
Unsurprised

At least you went. That’s the important part.

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Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

OH YEAH!

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blaxabbath

So is the WCC only the second best conference in college basketball?

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Unsurprised

Boogie Nights on Amazon Prime.

NSFW Roller Girl. https://gfycat.com/LikableUnawareElephant

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Unsurprised

I hate Mark Wahlberg

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Senor Weaselo

We don’t get Crying Jordan, but at least we get to make fun of “The ceiling is the roof” which makes this better than the last time UP/NC won?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://68.media.tumblr.com/646f7b7ea4c34834b6da16eab4977d1f/tumblr_ob0djp7ezl1uvues3o1_500.gif

Dismissive devil milk churning motion.

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blaxabbath

Mark Few: “Well, being from the WCC, we didn’t see why a guy with a broken ankle couldn’t lead us to a last-minute comeback. I mean, when do those UNC players even have TIME to go to class?”

1
Croooow

Gonzaga should go to a better conference.

1
blaxabbath

No. I like them as a paper tiger 1-seed.

2
blaxabbath

I’m already sick of the “This is the first time all season that Gonzaga got out-______’d!”

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Mr. Ayo

Agreed. This is clearly the SECOND time all season Gonzaga got out-scored.

3
blaxabbath

AYOOOOOOOOOOOO!

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Croooow

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ji-cT58rgNc

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

So I would have won the bracket challenge if I hadn’t given WI a couple extra rounds of surviving. I trusted the Senior class too much and admitted as much when I filled it out to start. Congrats Rev

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blaxabbath

That’s noble of you. I’m just gonna blame a bunch of 19 year olds for not overachieving.

1
blaxabbath

Goddamn! I hope I never get shot in the head by a sniper.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tx1D9iT60CU

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blaxabbath

So what’s next? Auburn Pro Day? The Draft? NBA Playoffs?

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Auburn Pro Day is what they call it when they pay their recruits out of high school

4
Croooow

Stanley Cup playoffs?

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Somewhere Adam Morrison is still crying

2
Brick Meathook

Greatly lucrative! Therefore… I nevermore search what I ask for. Much far more ideas and much even more nonconformity… a comment, I will actually do this.

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Senor Weaselo

Did anyone check for where the little reset button on Brick is? I’ve got the paper clip right here but I’m not putting it anywhere I don’t have to.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Probably just a bad speed-ball.”

-John Belushi

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Croooow

Figures the first time I truly allow myself to put any sort of faith into Gonzaga, they shit their pants at most critical moment.

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blaxabbath

La La La!

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WCS

Someone check on Hippo…

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Senor Weaselo

Gonzaga, never doing anything right since… well, always.

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blaxabbath

They don’t bother with a football program. That’s a smart start.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is Hippo ok?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://68.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ln784ovBqq1qza3vro1_500.jpg

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Gratliff

I have watched exactly zero of the finals. I take it this was the correct choice?

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Sill Bimmons

Sorry Wee Baby Seamus.

This is as fucked up as everything else that’s happened over the last year.

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blaxabbath

As always, I agree with Sill.

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Isn’t the important thing that Roy Williams will still rot in hell?

1
blaxabbath

Gonzaga Bulldogs: didn’t belong then, doesn’t belong now.

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blaxabbath

I wonder if Sega is still going to charge Gonzaga for using their font on their jerseys?

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Brick Meathook

Great blog site! I actually really like just how it truly is swift in my personal eyes as well as the information is well written. You are great. This website is very great. this post is very very great. this comments is very great. the resulting is very great to. I will look further too more stuff from you. Possess a good time!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

A Chinese hacker took over Brick’s account…..

AGAIN.

http://68.media.tumblr.com/c484cf66f23e56d6a374f5ce72f2898d/tumblr_obim0bagQ41ut1d6co8_250.gif

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

That is obviously a Russian trying to speak English. I am sticking with my theory

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Gratliff

See what happens when you try to find out how to make $2000 a week working from home?

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Meathook is either drunk or some Russian hacked his password and is trying to take over his account. If I am being honest either way seems like fun to me

1
blaxabbath

No way is this a hack job. This reads like every commenter on a DIY blog:

“Great site! So glad I came across your chocolate chip cookie recipe! Maybe you’d like some of the great recipes I’ve compiled on my page! I’d love to see what you think! http://www.brickmeatshook.com! Cheers!”

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blaxabbath

Nigel Kerry Strug-Goss

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

This is a great game!

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Curling: World Championship (Canada vs. U.S.)

2
Senor Weaselo

If you combined the NBA All-Star Game’s lack of defense with the shooting visual fuckery of playing in some massive arena, could you get a normal scoring basketball game?

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WCS

Piss off, Adam Morrison.

http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view6/4595008/adam-morrison-crying-o.gif

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Brocky

….. yeah, if gonzaga could jut go on a monster 14-0 run here, that would be great

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jutland

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Brocky

evening.

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herodotus450

Oh yeah, like we’re gonna start calling travelling now

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

How come none of the North Carolina alumni in the crowd made signs to support their Tarheels? Oh, right, cause they don’t teach sign-writing at UNC, or any other type of writing.

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Sharkbait

Just tobacco picking

2
Senor Weaselo

Why do you think they go by three letters?

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herodotus450

I’d like to see hockey penalty rules implemented in basketball: basically, unless you hit the floor it’s not a foul

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Nice pass.”

– The Flow

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herodotus450

These tournament commercials I call them Austrian Art School, because they really make me want to send all wheelchair basketball players to the gas chamber

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wow, you guys care even less about this game than I do.

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Sharkbait

This game is the Houston Texans of college basketball

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

RTD’s internal monologue:

“Hmm, I’m getting chilly. I should go grab a sweater.”

“I’ll wait for a commercial.”

[watches for five seconds]

“Eh, I don’t care enough about this game to wait.”

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We need to do a better job of making fun of North Carolina’s laughable academic program.
For example:

North Carolina’s students are so illiterate…

HOW ILLITERATE ARE THEY?

North Carolina’s students are so illiterate that they can’t even read this sentence.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So how come there seems to be a measurable amount of antipathy towards Gonzaga around here, as opposed to complete indifference?

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entropy

Because they have repeatedly been labeled a serious contender, selected by a large number of pool entrants/degenerate gamblers, and always, always screwed over the people who demonstrated faith in them?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Faith? How about unsupported overconfidence, gambling emotion, and just plain stupidity.

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Mr. Ayo

EAST COAST BIAS!

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LemonJello

I tried, but I just can’t make myself give a flying fuck at a rolling donut on a gravel driveway about this game.

I’ll leave you all to enjoy the late night shenanigans with this:
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Later, Taters!

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Hearing them describe Karnowski as a “mountain of a man” makes me think he earned his reputation by torturing the smallfolk.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“My doctor told me that I’m a drug addict like so many of this nation’s citizens before me, but because so many people suffering from opioid addiction are white and not entirely poor, there’s actually a substantial amount of concern about how to properly address this health crisis, and, if possible, profit from it. Now take your medicine so you can shit properly.”

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Brick Meathook

Hey RTD I listened to your DFO Radio compilation today. Awesome!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Lots of great suggestions this week. I’d have put the Pearl Jam song up front if I’d noticed it earlier (and also if it didn’t have like 40 seconds of dead air at the end of the video, nice job original uploader…)

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LemonJello

“What are the side effects? Will my dick stop working?”

“There’s a pill for that, in convenient single packs, too.”

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