Your “Hold On – I Need A Cup For THose Tears” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • AJ Hawk signed a one-day contract so he could retire a Packer.
  • Dallas jumped early and exercised the 2018 option on OL Zack Martin.
    • It’s worth $9.3 million, which is about $3 million less than he’d command on the open market after 2017.
  • The Bills are going to the family well & brought in Chad Kelly for a tryout pre-draft visit.
    • He missed the combine due to a shredded knee, making him the leading candidate for the Browns’ first-overall pick.
  • One final use of the Rooney Rule on Tuesday, when Ike Taylor joins 7 Rooney grandchildren as pallbearers at Grampa Dan’s funeral.

Finally, Derek Carr – “Christian, Husband, Father and Oakland Raider #RaiderNation What they call work, I call worship!” – went and called disappointed Oakland residents “not true fans” for lamenting the move to Vegas. That should make the next two years playing out the string extra-special to the 4500 people who show up.

  • Well, that must have been a scary couple of hours in the Raiders front office:


Lesser sports playoff madness update:

In case you want to know how Flames fans’ (& their server, litre_cola) night went, allow the fans of the 2013 Maple Leafs to show you:

And Ape has the fallout from the Caps-Leafs series:

Delicious.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Habs at Rangers – 7:00PM / NBCSN / CBC
    • Penguins at CBJ – 7:00PM | CNBC / Sportsnet360
    • Oilers at Sharks – 10:00PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • Bucks at Raptors – 7:00PM | TSN
    • Bulls at Celtics – 8:00PM | TNT
    • Jazz at Clippers – 10:30PM | TNT

 

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

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blaxabbath
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Hernandez tied that noise THE RUGHT WAY

Brick Meathook
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Brick Meathook

Too early for Aaron Hernandez jokes?

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

How did we miss this?
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Beastmode Ate My Baby
Member

Those are some yuuuge eggs!

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

That’s what she said?

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Yep.
Still funny.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Beastmode Ate My Baby
Member

Rally is some insanely good racing.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

I guess I’m going to have to downlo— er … legally view this episode tomorrow.
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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised
Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Pepperoni, mushroom, Hatch green chile Sicilian pizza.
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WCS
Member

Brick Meathook
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Brick Meathook

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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Hello

Beastmode Ate My Baby
Member

‘Sup, man?

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

I had a pretty good day today. Life’s good.

How are you?

Beastmode Ate My Baby
Member

Good. Deciding what type of crap to fling at our intrepid DFOers in HRTN. I really should plan ahead more.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Just so long as I don’t die like Colin Hanks in that movie he did with Diane Lane, it’s all good.

Beastmode Ate My Baby
Member

HRTN has a (shockingly?) low body-count so far, so you’re probably safe.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Beastmode Ate My Baby
Member

You rock, Moose.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Senor Weaselo
Member

We’re forgetting an important one.
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WCS
Member

And, it’s Academy Award-winning sequel:

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Senor Weaselo
Member

What the shit is going on in San Jose? 7-0?

WCS
Member

One touchdown, and the Eskimos tie it up. Relax.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

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Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

And an extra point!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Senor Weaselo
Member

While we’re on nut shots, apparently a Dirt Jets beer vendor got hit in the nuts with a foul ball today.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Senor Weaselo
Member

That’s some accuracy right there.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Fuck you. That’s my joke.

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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I don’t follow golf; is this a birdie?

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

It was.

Brick Meathook
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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Look at his stupid hat.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Phenomenal.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SCIENCE!

F=MA!

Brick Meathook
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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Romonobyl
Member

If that happened in Pennsylvania that girl would have ended up pregnant.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Reverse Kanye West

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Brick Meathook
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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Brick Meathook
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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Fuck that asshole

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Brick Meathook
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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

For some reason this song is stuck in my head. This show probably isn’t the radar for most football fans, but it is terrific for what it is.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Brocky
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Brocky
Member

so, this happened, and its fucking hilarious

for those of you not in the know, pegasus kid was christ benoit early in his career.

you know, the same chris benoit who murdered his family

Gratliff
Member

Holy shit. Which snark fuck writer thought this was gonna go unnoticed?

Brocky
Member

a future endeavored one, most likely

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Damn white people.

Wakezilla
Member

Man, if there was ever a time I could attend an Ellen show, it would have been this one so I could boo her and shame her.. .

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Romonobyl
Member

Natural selection…
It’s a good thing!

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