Your “Hold On – I Need A Cup For THose Tears” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • AJ Hawk signed a one-day contract so he could retire a Packer.
  • Dallas jumped early and exercised the 2018 option on OL Zack Martin.
    • It’s worth $9.3 million, which is about $3 million less than he’d command on the open market after 2017.
  • The Bills are going to the family well & brought in Chad Kelly for a tryout pre-draft visit.
    • He missed the combine due to a shredded knee, making him the leading candidate for the Browns’ first-overall pick.
  • One final use of the Rooney Rule on Tuesday, when Ike Taylor joins 7 Rooney grandchildren as pallbearers at Grampa Dan’s funeral.

Finally, Derek Carr – “Christian, Husband, Father and Oakland Raider #RaiderNation What they call work, I call worship!” – went and called disappointed Oakland residents “not true fans” for lamenting the move to Vegas. That should make the next two years playing out the string extra-special to the 4500 people who show up.

  • Well, that must have been a scary couple of hours in the Raiders front office:


Lesser sports playoff madness update:

In case you want to know how Flames fans’ (& their server, litre_cola) night went, allow the fans of the 2013 Maple Leafs to show you:

And Ape has the fallout from the Caps-Leafs series:

Delicious.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Habs at Rangers – 7:00PM / NBCSN / CBC
    • Penguins at CBJ – 7:00PM | CNBC / Sportsnet360
    • Oilers at Sharks – 10:00PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • Bucks at Raptors – 7:00PM | TSN
    • Bulls at Celtics – 8:00PM | TNT
    • Jazz at Clippers – 10:30PM | TNT

 

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

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blaxabbathBrick MeathookBeastmode Ate My BabyUnsurprisedtheeWeeBabySeamus Recent comment authors
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blaxabbath

Hernandez tied that noise THE RUGHT WAY

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Too early for Aaron Hernandez jokes?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

How did we miss this?
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Beastmode Ate My Baby

Those are some yuuuge eggs!

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

That’s what she said?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yep.
Still funny.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Rally is some insanely good racing.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I guess I’m going to have to downlo— er … legally view this episode tomorrow.
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Unsurprised
Unsurprised
Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Pepperoni, mushroom, Hatch green chile Sicilian pizza.
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WCS

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Hello

Beastmode Ate My Baby

‘Sup, man?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I had a pretty good day today. Life’s good.

How are you?

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Good. Deciding what type of crap to fling at our intrepid DFOers in HRTN. I really should plan ahead more.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Just so long as I don’t die like Colin Hanks in that movie he did with Diane Lane, it’s all good.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

HRTN has a (shockingly?) low body-count so far, so you’re probably safe.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Beastmode Ate My Baby

You rock, Moose.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Senor Weaselo

We’re forgetting an important one.
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WCS

And, it’s Academy Award-winning sequel:

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Senor Weaselo

What the shit is going on in San Jose? 7-0?

WCS

One touchdown, and the Eskimos tie it up. Relax.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

And an extra point!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Senor Weaselo

While we’re on nut shots, apparently a Dirt Jets beer vendor got hit in the nuts with a foul ball today.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Senor Weaselo

That’s some accuracy right there.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Fuck you. That’s my joke.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

I don’t follow golf; is this a birdie?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

It was.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Look at his stupid hat.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Phenomenal.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

SCIENCE!

F=MA!

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Romonobyl

If that happened in Pennsylvania that girl would have ended up pregnant.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Reverse Kanye West

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook
Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Fuck that asshole

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

For some reason this song is stuck in my head. This show probably isn’t the radar for most football fans, but it is terrific for what it is.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Brocky

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Brocky

so, this happened, and its fucking hilarious

for those of you not in the know, pegasus kid was christ benoit early in his career.

you know, the same chris benoit who murdered his family

Gratliff

Holy shit. Which snark fuck writer thought this was gonna go unnoticed?

Brocky

a future endeavored one, most likely

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Damn white people.

Wakezilla

Man, if there was ever a time I could attend an Ellen show, it would have been this one so I could boo her and shame her.. .

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Romonobyl

Natural selection…
It’s a good thing!